The Middle (TV Series)

The Christmas Tree (2013)

Charlie McDermott: Axl Heck

Photos 

Quotes 

• Axl Heck : Apparently, Mom was planning to hold me hostage all Christmas.

  Frankie Heck : Oh, you think I'm holding you hostage? I'll hold you hostage. You're grounded!

  Axl Heck : What? I've been home for three minutes, and I'm already grounded? Oh! This is the worst Christmas ever!

• Axl Heck : God! Why are you so focused on me? I liked it better last year when Grandma and Grandpa were here.

  Mike Heck : Hey. Don't even joke about that.

• Axl Heck : So, it's like this kid's born, and he starts to grow up, and he wants to be just like his dad.

  Brick Heck : And they have a cat?

  Axl Heck : I'm not exactly sure where the cat comes in. But, basically, this kid just wants to hang out with his dad all the time, but the dad's too busy with work. And, then, at the end of the song the dad's really old, and all he wants to do is spend time with his kid, but now the kid's busy with his own family and, uh, just can't find the time.

  Brick Heck : What happens? Does he get to spend time with his son?

  Axl Heck : The song doesn't say, but the kid's pretty busy, so... I'm assuming the dad eventually dies.

  [rubs eyes] 

  Axl Heck : Damn pine needles.

  Brick Heck : I'm calling Dad at work.

• Axl Heck : I looked at the terms of our agreement, and our deal has no mention of caring.

  Frankie Heck : Come on, Axl. Stop being snarky.

  Mike Heck : You know your mom. She won't count this as a family event unless you enjoy it.

  Axl Heck : Well, okay. Fine. It's a blast. I'm having an explosion of fun.

• Frankie Heck : No, Axl. Christmas Eve was my non-negotiable. You already got yours.

  Axl Heck : But I made the wrong choice! Joe's party was so lame, it shouldn't even count. After we made cookies, I had to jitterbug with his grandma. She kept touching my face.