Conan (TV Series)

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings: He Made a Deal with the D.A (2013)

Conan O'Brien: Self - Host

Photos 

Quotes 

• Conan O'Brien : [holding up a figurine of Black Canary]  How many other sets of these do you have?

  Pierre Bernard : Several.

  Conan O'Brien : You have MORE of these. These are just the tip of the iceberg.

  Pierre Bernard : I have more, just in case damage occurs, or they go missing. There are duplicates, yes.

  Conan O'Brien : So if one of them got damaged while you were doing something to it... you have more in storage?

  Pierre Bernard : Yes, I do have more in storage. Of her, maybe, three more, maybe. Three or four more.

  Conan O'Brien : Is that enough? Because that's, what if...

  Pierre Bernard : Well they come three to a pack, and they're random. So...

  Conan O'Brien : So you have many of these.

  Pierre Bernard : Many.

  Conan O'Brien : Okay, 'cause if anything happened to this one, God forbid.

  Pierre Bernard : Right. God forbid.

  Conan O'Brien : Okay.

  Pierre Bernard : But nothing's going to happen to her.

  Conan O'Brien : Not as long as you're around. You'll take good care of her, won't you.

  Pierre Bernard : I will.

  Conan O'Brien : Okay. You nervous?

  Pierre Bernard : No, no.

  Conan O'Brien : You seem...

  [pause] 

  Conan O'Brien : Can I use the word "insane"? Does it anger you when I do this to her?

  [strokes Black Canary's hair] 

  Pierre Bernard : No.

  Conan O'Brien : This isn't making you mad right now.

  Pierre Bernard : No, not angry at all.

  Conan O'Brien : Okay. Oh, she's whispering something in my ear...

  [puts Black Canary up to his left ear] 

  Conan O'Brien : does this make you a little, little jealous?

  Pierre Bernard : Nope. She's free to talk to whoever she wants.

  Conan O'Brien : "I have to share a private joke."

  [pretends Black Canary is giggling] 

  Conan O'Brien : Was that anger- what did you really feel there?

  Pierre Bernard : Nothing. She's probably told you a joke she's told me a million times.

• Conan O'Brien : You go on Craigslist a lot, don't you?

  Pierre Bernard : Occasionally, there's something worthwhile looking at. I should explain to you why this particular item.

  Conan O'Brien : It says "female mannequin", this is a naked woman, very realistic.

  Pierre Bernard : I wanted to see if this person has certain mannequins, because there's one in particular that I'm looking for. I saw it in New York, it's of a woman's torso down to her legs, and it's very voluptuous butt on it, and the top is cut off flat, and I thought it would make a nice lamp.

  [chuckles] 

  Pierre Bernard : So... I wanted to buy a couple of them, take 'em to an electrician, and have them run the wires through it, and they could be nice end tables.

  Conan O'Brien : Okay. You're fired. You're fired. I'm gonna take- you're fired, you no longer work here. And, you're going to the hospital. When do you say that's too much? Those breasts are too big, that butt is too voluptuous? If a woman needed two golf carts to drive her breasts in front of her as she walked.

  Pierre Bernard : I would say that's way too big.

  Conan O'Brien : Right. But you would wanna take her out for coffee.

  Pierre Bernard : Yes.