- Self - Host: I like the story of Chris Rock going on SNL. Him telling Lorne, "I wanna keep my mustache and goatee." And Lorne said, "In comedy, we put ON beards."
- Self - Host: [about disclaimers in drug commercials] So I kind of imagine they have, like, a little phone bank set up at Chantix with people calling in with their dreams.
- Louis C.K.: RIght.
- Self - Host: Bob, you thing that one's weird? I got a guy here with orangutan feet... No, I've had that one. It's not weird.
- Louis C.K.: [after his harrowing boat story] I say to my oldest, We have to come out on the boat again soon so that you can have a good experience.
- Self - Host: Right.
- Louis C.K.: And she said, "We just HAD a good experience." She was so happy.
- Self - Host: That is one of the great stories. Boy. That'll make a man out of you.
- Louis C.K.: Yeah. Well, out of my daughters, anyway.