- Penny: [Leonard and Sheldon are arguing during dinner] Guys, if I wanted to hear people be bitchy I'd go to my real salon!
- Howard Wolowitz: Oh, man. This is the boutineer from my high school prom. A piece of cake from my Bar Mitzvah.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Did she throw anything away?
- Howard Wolowitz: No. If I find my foreskin, I'm gonna kill myself.
- Penny: I don't think I've eaten that much in my entire life.
- Howard Wolowitz: That's why my people wandered the desert for forty years. Took that long to walk it off.
- Howard Wolowitz: Stuart, we're home!
- Raj Koothrappali: I think it's nice that you're letting him live in your home.
- Howard Wolowitz: Well, we tried putting him over by the curb, but nobody took him.
- Howard Wolowitz: It's all defrosting.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: It's okay. It's only food
- Howard Wolowitz: No, it's not just food! This is the last food my mother ever made. This is her last brisket. This is her last meat loaf. This is her last... I have no idea what this is, but it's her last one.
- Howard Wolowitz: Thanks for helping us sort through all of Ma's stuff.
- Raj Koothrappali: No problem. I know what it's like to go through a loved one's belongings. My uncle was a believer of Krishna, but when we went through his stuff, we found a statue of Shiva. It's not Crips and Bloods, but in India that is a thing.
- Sheldon Cooper: Was it my fault that I have a bigger reputation than he does?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: It's not your fault.
- Sheldon Cooper: Is it my fault that my name comes first alphabetically on the title?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Not at all.
- Sheldon Cooper: Is it my fault that when they identified me as lead scientist I didn't correct them?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Hey, look at that pretty bird!
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: [Sheldon and Leonard are arguing during dinner] Hey! Sheldon, Leonard, living room right now!
- Sheldon Cooper: [Sheldon and Leonard follow her] She said my name first, that must kill you.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: [yelling from off screen, sounding eerily familiar to everyone] I don't know what you think you're doing, but this is a very difficult time for my husband! We're eating the last food his mother ever made and you are gonna throw it at each other like children? Whatever it is you're fighting about, put it aside, go back in there and be a good friend to Howard or there's no dessert for either of you! Look at me when I'm talking to you! And don't think...
- Howard Wolowitz: [Bernadette keeps yelling] Do you guys ever notice sometimes Bernadette sounds like my mom?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I don't hear it.
- Raj Koothrappali: No, not at all.
- Stuart Bloom: Nah.
- Penny: Not really.
- Sheldon Cooper: All he had was an idea.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Well, that's an important part.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, please. I have ideas all day long. Reverse Sea World where dolphins are allowed to pet people. A new clothing size between medium and large called marge. Snow White as retold from the point of view of Sneezy. Why won't Doc prescribe him something? We finally find out.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Leonard's idea was good.
- Sheldon Cooper: Fine. Then Grumpy. Why is he so grumpy all the time? Maybe his girlfriend won't take his side.
- Sheldon Cooper: I have mixed feelings about doing interviews. I like the part where I talk. I do not like the part where the other man talks.
- Howard Wolowitz: [about his mom's matzo ball soup] She always had some handy when I got sick. Mom always believed her cooking could cure anything. Including the food poisoning I got... from her cooking.
- Sheldon Cooper: [Giving Leonard a shoulder massage] You relax all of your muscles. Except for your pubococcygeus and your anal sphincter. Let's keep those tight.
- Leonard Hofstadter: [about the massage] Sheldon, that won't be necessary.
- Sheldon Cooper: Of course it is. They control urine and faeces.
- Raj Koothrappali: Marvel has mad Tor a female.
- Penny: Wait, who's Tor?
- Raj Koothrappali: You know, Tor, the God of Tunder.
- Raj Koothrappali: Okay, so we've got 3 briskets, 4 meat loafs, one lasagna...
- Howard Wolowitz: No, that's noodle kugel.
- Raj Koothrappali: One Jewish lasagna...
- Penny: Who even reads Scientific American?
- Leonard Hofstadter: It's kind of a big deal.
- Penny: If it's such a big deal, how come the biggest celebrity they could get for the cover is a molecule?