- Raj Koothrappali, Howard Wolowitz: [singing] Thor and Dr. Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightning, the other plays with bones.
- [first lines]
- Sheldon Cooper: What a wonderful day; thank you.
- Penny Hofstadter: Oh, we're glad you had fun
- Sheldon Cooper: Blue Icees and a trip to the container store? It's like I died and went to the post-mortem neuron-induced hallucination commonly mistaken as heaven.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I still don't understand why you bought that pill caddy; you're a young man.
- Sheldon Cooper: Age is a state of mind, Leonard. In here,
- [points to his head]
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm 90.
- Raj Koothrappali: We could play filk music.
- Stuart Bloom: W-What's that?
- Raj Koothrappali: It's been around for years. It's like folk music, but with a sci-fi/fantasy theme.
- Stuart Bloom: I like it. Sounds exactly like something I shouldn't be expected to pay for.
- Sheldon Cooper: I was like the Tin Man, perfectly content until that evil wizard gave him a heart.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I don't think that was the point of the movie.
- Sheldon Cooper: Fine! I was like Pinocchio who that jerk Geppetto went and made him a real boy.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: There you go.
- Stuart Bloom: Do you guys know any musicians?
- Howard Wolowitz: Why?
- Stuart Bloom: I was thinking it might be cool to have live music here a few nights a week, you know. Give this place more of a "staying in business" vibe.
- Howard Wolowitz: What kind of music are you thinking of?
- Stuart Bloom: I like all kinds of music. But my favorite genre is "free".
- Raj Koothrappali: [singing] Thor and Dr. Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One runs from Loki, the other runs from stones.
- Raj Koothrappali: [singing] Oh Indy, Oh Indy! The skies are so windy. Is that a flying man with a killer board? Wait! That's no man, it's a Norse god.
- Howard Wolowitz: Oh yes! Definately! Hang on...
- [singing]
- Howard Wolowitz: Thunder clapped as Thor raised his mighty hammer. Indy rapped "that's one bad mama-jamma".
- Raj Koothrappali: Remember the Ark of the Covenant?
- Howard Wolowitz: Yeah.
- Raj Koothrappali: That's how much we're gonna melt people's faces off.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Hey, if you're open to living with someone great, I'll give you $1,000 to take Stuart.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You really should have gone on the internet and checked how long that kind of thing lives before you got one.
- [last lines]
- Howard Wolowitz: [singing] Indy's whip snapped. Thor's hammer missed.
- Raj Koothrappali: [singing] It was Avenger vs archeologist.
- Howard Wolowitz: [singing] Indy held his ground and straightened his fedora.
- Raj Koothrappali: [singing] Thor said that's a nice look, in 1944-a.
- [rhyme with fedora]
- Howard Wolowitz, Raj Koothrappali: [singing] Thor and Dr. Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightning, the other plays with bones. Thor and Dr. Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightning, the other plays with bones.
- Stuart Bloom: Play something we can dance to.
- Sheldon Cooper: What happened to me Amy? Years ago I was completely disengaged from my feelings. I'd say It was a happier time, but I was disengaged from my feelings, so who can tell.
- Sheldon Cooper: It says here you're a chemist. Which element on the periodic table do you feel is too big for it's britches?
- Candidate #1: Is that supposed to be a joke?
- Sheldon Cooper: Looks like argon's not the only one with an attitude problem.
- Sheldon Cooper: So, like an operating system, I'm restoring my life to the last stable version, which was in 2003, the day before I met Leonard.
- Howard Wolowitz: [Howard comes up with a name for the band] Footprints on the Moon.
- Raj Koothrappali: I just got chills.
- Howard Wolowitz: So did I.
- Stuart Bloom: Me too, but I, uh, might have Lyme disease.
- Sheldon Cooper: In general, would you say that you smell better, worse, or the same as you do right now?
- Sheldon Cooper: I was going to ask you what is the best fruit, but then I realized what I want to ask you is why is there a band-aid on your forearm, but then I realized what I really want to ask you is can you just go?