- Ashy-Slashy: Peek-a-boo!
- Kelly Maxwell: What the fuck?
- Ashy-Slashy: Wanna play?
- Kelly Maxwell: No. Ah, why am I talking to a Muppet?
- Ashy-Slashy: [gasps] Muppet? Uh, well, you're awfully judgmental for a...
- Kelly Maxwell: Hey! For a what? What were you gonna say, you little motherfuck? Sack up. What were you gonna say?
- Ashy-Slashy: Wow, check out the potty mouth on you. You really are... filthy.
- Kelly Maxwell: And fine. Yeah, heard that one before, pervert.
- Ashy-Slashy: Girl, you're the one with your handle all up in my puppet pooper. You want me to return the favor?
- Ashy-Slashy: I'm sorry I'm gonna have to kill you, but I think we've learned a lot today.
- Kelly Maxwell: Yeah. Always bring a gun to a puppet fight.
- [blows Ashy-Slashy's head off]
- Kelly Maxwell: All right, if we actually do find him, no one can tell him it was because of that stupid pet tracker. He'll never let us forget it.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: Come on guys, let's go save the world. Can I get a Ghost Beaters!
- Kelly Maxwell: You okay?
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: No, I'm not. I got a really bad feeling about this.
- Kelly Maxwell: Really, because I haven't had a good feeling since we met Ash, and his stupid book.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: Exactly. The Book of the Dead never let's anybody off easy. It's like Ash said, everyone around him gets... dead. And now I am the book, and I may never be okay with myself if something bad...
- Kelly Maxwell: Hey. Where'd my powerful vagina go? Huh? Pablo, it's gonna be a piece of cake, all right? We'll find Ash, you'll take out that Goth demon.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: And then back to Jacksonville.
- Kelly Maxwell: Mmm, maybe not Jacksonville. But listen, you take care of this, I'll even make sure Ash gets the first round.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: [scoffs] Yeah, right.
- [Lacey kills a security guard with a walkie-talkie]
- Lacey Emery: Look, Daddy! A unicorn! Magic is real!
- Kelly Maxwell: Abracadabra!
- Sheriff Thomas Emery: I just want us to be a family again.
- Lacey Emery: The only thing you sucked at more than being the sheriff, was being a father.
- [rips off he father's head]
- Lacey Emery: Oh look! He does have a backbone after all!
- Ruby Knowby: Oh, this is Baal's work for sure.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: He knows we're here.
- Ruby Knowby: We got to get to Ash before Ball scrambles his peanut brain.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: Shit.
- Ruby Knowby: What is it?
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: This is going to happen no matter whether we like it or not, isn't it?
- Ruby Knowby: Look, we're going to find Baal. You're going to harness the power of that Book against him, and none of this is going to be in vain.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: And you promise me that we're all going to live happily ever after?
- Ruby Knowby: Even if this goes perfectly, there's a good chance you'll die.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: Wow. Ruby, I know you're new to this whole mortal thing, where people don't live forever, the idea of dying really sucks.
- Ruby Knowby: Well, I was just trying to be honest. But all right, you go on thinking all the sweet things you're going to do, if you survive or not, I'll find a way out of here.
- Ruby Knowby: Pablo, you know what has to be done. You find Baal, say the incantation, send him back.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: I know what has to be done, I just don't know if I'm the one to do it.
- Ruby Knowby: You can do it. You have to. All those fish and chip customers are depending on it.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: I knew you cared. You keep pretending like you don't, but each day you spend as a mortal, you become a little more human. It suits you.
- Ruby Knowby: That's creepy talk.