Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series) The Christmas That Almost Wasn't (2017) User Reviews

christmas on the satellite

[paultapner · 8/10 · 14 January 2019]

It's Christmas on the satellite of love, as we see from the fun opening scenes. So there's a Christmas movie to watch.

An Italian movie dubbed - you do rather quickly get used to said dubbing which isn't as bad as it first appears - involving a plucky lawyer helping santa beat a grumpy trillionaire. Complete with songs, bored looking shop girls and the kind of children in films who kids might like but grown ups will find irritating.

As a bad movie, a good choice. It will stick in the mind.

Not the strongest episode, though. It doesn't click till the last third. Too many of the riffs pre that are chuckles or smiles but few laugh out louds, and it does take one joke that is funny once, and make it a running one. But it's not funny twice.

The first satellite skit isn't as good as it thinks it is, either.

But:

The riffs all start to hit home in the last third. The second and third skits are terrific, and the last few minutes after the movie are utterly brilliant.

We do get some continuation of things set up last time as well. And there are some very good interactions with the screen while riffing.

So not the best of these, but ultimately worth a watch.

"Ah, he's turned his crotch into a clown car!"

[daughterofolaf · 7/10 · 23 October 2019]

This MST episode is from the revival season of the series, "The Return." Generally speaking, I do not find any episodes from the new seasons to be classics nor do any of them even approach the funniness of anything from the original run for me (except maybe Hamlet because that episode sucks balls) and in rating the new episodes I don't see myself putting any of them above a 7, aside from Yongary, which is great, and maybe Avalanche. That said, I am NOT a hater, I LIKE Jonah, I LIKE the new 'bots, I AM glad the new seasons are here and I do enjoy them, I just do not find the writing to be as natural or witty as the original seasons.

Moving on, this episode has a few genuine laugh-out-loud moments for me, which is great. I am a bit surprised to see that this is the lowest rated episode of the season as I find it to be among the overall funnier ones from the new seasons, with the exception of the ongoing "wittle baby" joke, which I get but is just not that funny after the first couple of times it is used and makes me want to die from cringeitis. Despite the baby joke, I do not really know why this episode is rated lower than the rest because the funny bits are really funny. But I have an idea...

What I suspect we may have here is the equivalent of the "Squirm" episode from the original run--but don't get me wrong, this is nowhere as funny as Squirm. What I mean is that the movie itself is perfect fodder for the crew and the riffs are funny but despite that, the movie is just plain unpleasant to watch. All of the cast members in The Christmas that Almost Wasn't, sorry to say it, are unappealing; everyone just looks scary and dirty and old except for Prim. Ironically, the villain is the least creepy looking character next to Prim. The elves are creepy, Mrs. Claus is creepy, Santa is creepy, Jonathan--well I don't know who came up with the look for this guy, talk about scary looking. Sam is only kind of creepy but is referred to as a "boy" by everyone despite being at LEAST 50 years old (probably older) which is just bizarre and off-putting. So I wonder if the "blechness" of the movie counteracts the funniness.

What is disappointing about this movie in and of itself (disregarding anything MST-related) is that the story is actually not bad. It's not a particularly bad idea, it was just HORRIBLY executed. This is a rare situation in which a remake would be a good thing.

Bottom line: this is a decent episode in the new run, but I do not consider it (or any new episodes) a must-see for either fans or newbs. I would not start here if you are new to the show or trying to introduce it to someone but stop by if you have played out the old Christmas episodes. :)

The new guys really take advantage of this cheap, dubbed, over-acted festive Grinch-kockoff-fest

[Amthermandes · 9/10 · 28 January 2022]

It may be one of the lowest rated of the episodes of the newer MST3K episodes, but it's an absolute riot. The jokes are relentless. When all the kids swarm Santa towards the end, I lost it. Their jokes were quick, witty, hilarious, and spot-on. These guys really keep the spirit of Joel, Mike, Bill, and Kevin alive. Any true MST3K fan shant be disappointed. And if you are disappointed, either it caught you on a bad day, or it's just not for you.

Thank the heavens for Kickstarter. I can't wait for more.

Ouch... an uncomfortable sleigh ride from both sides of the screen.

[khunkrumark · 4/10 · 19 May 2017]

The online reviews for this movie sans the MST3K treatment have been almost all positive, but I found this to be extremely creepy and hard to watch. I suspect that these 'reviews' were based on skewed and rose- tinted memories rather than cinematic analysis!

Christmas looks like being canceled because the main man can't pay the rent for his little house and workshop in the north pole. So he pops into the big city and seeks the assistance of a rather creepy lawyer and the two engage the evil landlord and try to set him straight about Christmas and children and well, just being a better human being.

Maybe I just didn't 'get it' and missed something because unfortunately, the fine fellows crewing the Satellite Of Love didn't make this 'claus-trophobic' entry much more digestible. (See what I did there?) This is the 'miss' of the rebooted series. Lots of wordy riffs but not very many hit the mark.

The whole uncomfortable viewing of the movie itself just conspired to tune me out of the Mistie humor this time around. I don't know - but for whatever reason, I won't be firing up this one again.

Lots of great episodes in the new series - this isn't one of them.