- Bortus: Christmas would have been ruined if Rudolph had been euthanized at birth, as his father wished.
- Alara Kitan: [explosion outside shuttle] Oh my god, they're under attack!
- Kelly Grayson: Alara, those are testing zones.
- Alara Kitan: What are you talking about?
- Ed Mercer: Malcas's primary industry is weapons manufacturing, so they're a little fast and loose with their research and development.
- John LaMarr: They test explosives wherever the hell they want.
- Gordon Malloy: [another explosion] Oh, frack!
- Lt. Cmdr. Bortus: It is customary to respond with a fitting passage of literature from ones own planet.
- Cmdr. Kelly Grayson: I'm a survivor. I'm not gon' give up. I'm not gon' stop. I'm gon' work harder.
- Lt. Cmdr. Bortus: Those are words of great power, who wrote them?
- Captain Ed Mercer: I think it was actually about 15 different people.
- Advocate Kagus: A life of isolation, in the wilderness, cut off from society. This is your shining example?
- Heveena: The blackest abyss is a pock in the flesh when one has gazed in solitude upon the infinity of self.
- Advocate Kagus: You dare to bastardize the words of Gondus Elden to serve your own purposes? If he were here, he would spit on you for that!
- Heveena: Would he? Why don't you ask him?
- [the Moclan council gasps in disbelief]
- Advocate Kagus: No. I do not believe it!
- Captain Vorak: You are, Very fragile Captain Mercer, are you aware of this?
- Ed Mercer: There is an Anti-bullying law named after me, Yes I'm aware of it.
- Advocate Kagus: Captain Mercer, tell me about your penis.
- Ed Mercer: Ah, did I miss a segue of some kind here?
- Kelly Grayson: We have Monopoly, you can be The Car.
- Ed Mercer: Oh Kel, I'm always The Car.
- Kelly Grayson: Yes, but maybe this once, since he's our guest.
- Ed Mercer: You can be The Thimble