Soccer Killer (2017) Poster

(2017)

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5/10
Hardly as witty or laugh-out-loud crazy as it should be, this part-martial arts, part-superhero spoof is nevertheless a harmless time-killer of uninspired inanity
moviexclusive30 June 2017
Two decades after it was first released, 'A Chinese Odyssey Part Two: Cinderella' was re-released in Mainland cinemas earlier this year with about ten minutes of additional footage. By the time it ended its month-long run, the Stephen Chow cult classic had become the top- grossing re-release ever. Despite critics' decrying it as a blatant cash grab that adds little to the original cut's interpretation, audiences were seemingly unfazed, demonstrating just how much love there is for Chow as well as the 'mo-lei-tau' brand of wacky anachronistic period comedy which he and writer-director Jeffrey Lau patented in the late 1980s and early 1990s. And yet ironically, the greater your sense of nostalgia, the more you will be disappointed by Lau's attempts in the past few years to recapture the same comedic spirit. From 2010's 'Just Another Pandora's Box' to 2011's 'East Meets West 2011' to 2014's 'Just Another Margin' and right up to last year's in-name only sequel 'A Chinese Odyssey Part Three', not one has come close to matching the genius of Lau's earlier films.

His latest, titled 'Soccer Killer', unfortunately belongs more to the former than the latter. Written and directed by Lau, it tells of how Princess Changping (Gillian Chung) of the Song Dynasty recruits the masters of the eight once-glorious martial arts sects to play in a soccer match against a formidable team named the Eagle Claws under the charge of the Mongolian barbarian Leopard Khan. At stake is the very sovereignty of the kingdom itself, no thanks to the corrupt Prime Minister Qin (played by Lau himself). As we learn from the prologue, no less than the likes of Captain America, Thor, Hulk, Storm, Cyclops, Spider-Man, Logan and Captain Fantastic make up the Eagle Claws; though we're quite sure Marvel will be none too happy to learn what their band of superheroes have been doing in between blockbusters; by the time we get to the pivotal match, no less than the Monkey King, the Eight Immortals and Buddha will have come to the Song's rescue – and that is fair warning of just how illogical you'll have to prepare it will get in this spoof where anything goes.

Frankly, that isn't a deterrent in and of itself; indeed, such silly, even nonsensical, humour has always been a defining feature of Lau's comedies. What distinguishes the classics of the past from the ignominies of the more recent is the hilarity of the gags within, which this latest again comes up short. Among the three chapters the movie divides itself into, the most entertaining is in fact the first titled 'The Phoenix becomes the Pheasant', in reference to how Princess Changping sheds her image of royalty to adopt a male disguise in order to recruit the eight Sect masters. As it turns out, these masters – including Sword Master Guo Huaqiang (Corey Yuen), Palm Master Zhang Sanfeng (Li Jing), abbess Miejue (Stephy Tang) and abbot Master Yideng (Lam Tze Chung) – are but a pale shadow of their former glorious selves, and between them and the two disciples – Lang (He Jiong) and Ling (Charlene Choi) – of a ninth now-defunct Mount Mao Sect, there is plenty of good humour to be had spoofing the genre elements of the typical 'wuxia' film.

In comparison, the ensuing two chapters prove duller and a lot less inspired. The middle chapter titled 'Finding True Love in Adversity' develops a budding romance between Lang and Princess Changping as both are held captive at a remote mountain village after being kidnapped by a band of assassins who call themselves the Jiangdong 108; but their unlikely relationship has few laughs and little chemistry. A running gag sees Lang introduce the villagers to Super Barbie inflatable dolls which become instant playmates for the children as well as companions for the grown-up males, but it is at best bemusing and never quite amusing. The obviously titled third chapter 'Kingdom of Xianglong versus the Eagle Claws' sees Prime Minister Qin exploit the romantic rivalry between Ling and Princess Changping for Lang's affections, before culminating in an over-the- top duel between the aforementioned teams that stands out as a showcase of terrible CGI. Not even the references to Pandora's Box can save the last act from being creatively bereft, nor for that matter the invocation of mythological Chinese characters for an eventual Eastern-meets-Western superheroes showdown.

Certainly, not the combined star power of the TWINS or the 'Happy Camp' hosts are a match for the powerhouse combo of Chow, Athena Chu, Karen Mok, Ng Man-tat and Law Kar-ying, but that isn't the main reason why 'Soccer Killer' is barely even a poor cousin of 'A Chinese Odyssey' – simply, it just isn't as witty or as laugh-out-loud crazy as it should be. Lau himself seems to acknowledge the same at the obligatory happily-ever-after ending, with one of the palace servants reflecting on everything that has happened and telling his partner that it is no better than a stupid movie which should be quickly forgotten – though frankly, that's hardly a tall order given how unmemorable the events within are. If for whatever reason you feel you have nothing better else to do and find yourself in the mood for some inanity however uninspired that may be, then 'Soccer Killer' is an 84-minute harmless time-killer you probably won't mind.
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Weird Chinese propaganda film
trolliyama4 October 2020
Warning: Spoilers
A weird Chinese propaganda film where the villains are a literal army of foreign demons who look like those parody versions of Marvel superheroes from the parody movies of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. And they also play soccer for some reason.

Sadly is not as funny as it sounds, and is not as funny as it could have been, and the most memorable thing about it are the superhero parody foreign demons. And the CGI chinese girls dancing in heaven at the end, for some reason. Everything else is forgetable.

Anyway, the CCP is evil, Xiping Pooh is a fascist, and all the scumbags praising them in the west are nothing but pathetic leeches.
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6/10
Far From Perfect, But Still Entertains!!
Movie-Misfit10 December 2019
From the opening scenes, spoofing the success of the Marvel superhero movies as it introduces the bad Mongolian soccer team who just happen to be a mix of Avengers and X-Men - I was smiling!

While Jeff Lau's 2017 nonsense comedy was heavily panned by critics all over, I couldn't help but find a soft spot for it smiling and laughing most of the way through it - although not splitting my sides. Even though the title refers to the sport, the majority of the film is more about the comedy situations and fight action involving double-crossings, mistaken identities and corrupt officials - leaving the soccer element of the film to come in to play in the last 20 minutes.

And for that reason alone, I think its wrong that past critics and viewers should stop viewing Soccer Killer as a rip-off or remake of Shaolin Soccer! They are quite obviously nothing alike...

While the latter is based mostly on the pitch with flashbacks to Shaolin Temple training and in a modern day setting, Soccer Killer is set in the Song Dynasty allowing for plenty of great costumes and set pieces with the only modern connection being that of the bad guy superheroes.

If Soccer Killer had come out 25 or 30 years ago, it would be regarded as one of those crazy Hong Kong movies that was talked about for years. Its not that much more off-the-wall than Wong Jing's hilarious Future Cops - a rough-around-the-edges martial arts comedy that spoofs Street Fighter 2 as well as Dragon Ball Z for some bizarre reason!

And only in Hong Kong cinema could you pull off a movie where the likes of Captain America, Hulk, Cyclops, Spiderman, Storm, Thor and many more American created superheroes would play death soccer against kung fu movie icons such as Yuen Cheung Yan, Chung Fat, Corey Yuen Kwai and others before going head-to-head with the Monkey King himself and the Eight Immortals?!?

Its just completely insane!

Yes its nothing in terms of direction or script unlike Lau's earlier efforts such as Black Rose '92, All For The Winner, and A Chinese Oddyssey 1 and 2, but Soccer Killer certainly doesn't bore. While I can see Jeff Lau making nods to his better days and past works in his comedy scenes, I can also understand how this can get lost with a modern audience. And why critics want to take this kind of film seriously is beyond me... Hollywood does serious - we don't need another Hollywood. Movies like this were the reason real fans fell in love with Hong Kong cinema and why they continue today.

Soccer Killer will never fall into the best of the best from HK cinema, nor will it reach the heights of a classic anytime soon, but I like it. I guess it hangs around the same corner as The Twins Effect 2, where you just wish it had have been so much more but kind of brush your disappointment aside because you can't help but enjoy elements of it. The fights, courtesy of the great Corey Yuen Kwai, are fun and well choreographed throughout, but for me, the end battle on the pitch was a big let down with the use of some pretty dodgy FX that look like something from a 90's PS2 game.

And of course, speaking of The Twins Effect 2, it was great to see Charlene and Gillian share the screen once again in a feature that puts them to good use and plays their cuteness and comedy timing well.

Overall: Far from perfect, Soccer Killer still manages to entertain for 84 minutes and isn't half as bad as the critics make it out to be!
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