- Ash Williams: Brandy, I know I'm a crappy father. But, I'm also a crappy liar. I've always told you the truth, even if it sounds creepy and weird. I mean, how do you make this shit up?
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: Fuck Kelly, shit's about to get loco up in this bitch. And even though the Jefe would never admit it, he can't defeat this evil without me.
- Kelly Maxwell: You're right; he'd never admit that.
- Sheriff: [Ash opens the trunk of his car to reveal a bloody and crying Baby Ash] What the hell is this?
- Ash Williams: [laughs] I know this looks bad but trust me, that cute little kid is a demon and not long ago he was running around inside a headless corpse of some Scandinavian woman.
- Baby Ash: He hurted me.
- Ash Williams: [Brandishing the back of his hand to imply he may backhand Baby Ash] I should've.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: [Covered in blood] Mi nombre es Pablo Simon Bolivar y yo soy el Brujo Especial!
- [laughs]