- Mrs. Chow: Vincent, what happened to your Chinese accent?
- Vinny Chow: I was borne in New York, Ma. I never had a Chinese accent.
- Special Agent Johnson #2: I'm Special Agent Johnson, and this is my partner, Special Agent Johnson.
- Joey Rissotto: Oh Johnson and Johnson, I love the baby oil.
- Special Agent Johnson #1: We prefer the Two Johnsons.
- Lawrence: Double duch fudge, double double dutch fudge.
- Vinny Chow: That dish with the little pancakes? That's mushu not moo goo.
- Al Capella: Mushu, moo goo, screw you. They ain't no freakin' ravioli, but I love those little pancakes with the bump on the top.