- Jeremy Thorpe: [learning that Peter Bessell is planning to re-marry and leave for America] Peter, I wish you a long and happy life. And then I wish for Norman Scott to be killed.
- [Jeremy Thorpe and Peter Bessell head towards Jeremy's office]
- Jeremy Thorpe: Of course, the real question is where to dispose of the body. In New York they drop corpses in the river. I've read that you can seal a body in concrete at the base of a motorway. Tin mines. That's the solution.
- [David Holmes is waiting outside Jeremy Thorpe's office]
- Jeremy Thorpe: David, ready for you now. Come in, lock the door. So, as I was saying. Norman Scott. Tin mines. Hundreds of abandoned tin mines all over Cornwall.
- David Holmes: Brilliant. You drop the body down there, he'll never be found.
- Jeremy Thorpe: Take him to the pub, get him drunk, shove him in a car, drive him out to Bodmin Moor, kill him.
- Peter Bessell: That's *my* constituency.
- David Holmes: Kill him how?
- Jeremy Thorpe: Oh, come on, it's quite easy to break someone's neck. Come here, Pedro. Elbow there, jerk up...
- [he demonstrates on Peter Bessell]
- David Holmes: He might wriggle out of it. Men like him tend to be wrigglers.
- Jeremy Thorpe: Then you'll just have to shoot him, David. Can you get a gun?
- David Holmes: I can do whatever you want, Jeremy.
- Jeremy Thorpe: [imitating David Holmes's northern accent] He can "Do whatever I want, Jeremy". Well, shoot the bugger stone dead.
- [Peter Bessell looks horrified at the way events are unfolding]
- [Captain Myers is giving his father-of-the-bride speech at the wedding of his daughter to Norman Scott]
- Captain Myers: As father of the bride, it is my duty to toast the happy couple, Mr and Mrs Scott.
- Everyone: [raising their glasses] Mr and Mrs Scott.
- Captain Myers: This is the second time this task has befallen me. You will recall our first-born daughter, Belinda, was lucky enough to marry that fine actor and gentleman Terry-Thomas. Those Magnificent Men...
- Everyone: ...In Their Flying Machines.
- Captain Myers: They can't be here today. Terry has to attend the premiere of Monte Carlo Or Bust! Or perhaps they've *chosen* to stay away...
- [Susan looks horrified]
- Captain Myers: ...while my second daughter, Susan, marries this dreadful ho-mo-sex-ual. That's where my wife is, sitting at home weeping in fury with her child two months pregnant by this flagrant poofter. Quite he got her pregnant, I don't know. She must have been caught downwind. So, all I have to say in tribute to this desolate affair is... leave him, my darling! Come home! Come home!
- Everyone: Come home!
- [Norman and Susan link hands, defiantly]