- Captain Roberts: Touch me again, and I'll shove this keyboard so far up your ass you're by shitting scrabble pieces for a week. Understood?
- Officer Edwards: Look, I didn't want to come to you with his because of your speech about the police code and penises in hand, which by the way, the robot doesn't have. But I needed to tell you... the robot actively treats black criminals worse than white ones.
- Captain Roberts: I'm not in charge of ethical standards around here, I'm in charge of making the streets safer!
- Officer Edwards: Did you just hear yourself?