- [after Kato Kaelin gets blown up inside a clay house he was squatting in in Prototype X29A]
- Rich Evans: At that point, that was the worst thing to happen to Kato Kaelin in a guest house.
- [discussing Batman's mobility in the Burton films]
- Rich Evans: I expect Batman to be a fucking ninja, and he's doing this.
- [Rich mimics his awkward shoulder movements]
- Macaulay Culkin: That's true.
- Mike Stoklasa: That's true, that's true.
- Macaulay Culkin: [sarcastically] Good point, Rich!
- Mike Stoklasa: A very good point, Rich.
- [Jay and Mack laugh, Rich raises his hands in the air in frustrated]
- Rich Evans: You... you and Mike!
- Macaulay Culkin: I'm on the trolley, alright? I'm on the trolley. I'm on the Mike train! Choo-choo!
- Rich Evans: I know Buzz was mean to you, but... why take it out on me?
- Macaulay Culkin: [in a deep voice] Yes, I will!
- [while watching Home Alone: Taking Back the House]
- Rich Evans: No, it is gonna be the maid because it's too obvious that it would be him.
- Macaulay Culkin: Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Rich Evans: He's gonna be like the old man.
- Josh Davis: Yeah.
- Macaulay Culkin: Yes, he's Old Man Marley.
- Rich Evans: Yeah.
- [Rich gets up from his chair and starts to walk out]
- Macaulay Culkin: Where are you going?
- [while watching Home Alone: Taking Back the House; French Stewart walks into a door and the crew reacts with mocking enthusiasm]
- Rich Evans: Oh.
- [the crew laughs]
- Josh Davis: Get ready for the rest of the movie, Rich!
- [Mack gets up]
- Mike Stoklasa: It's just starting!
- Macaulay Culkin: [points at Rich] You better start laughing!
- [uproarious laughter; Mack sits back down]
- Shawn DePasquale: This is comedy fucking gold!
- [Mack gets back up]
- Macaulay Culkin: This is fucking gold right here! John Hughes created these characters, alright? You're disrespecting Mr. John Hughes!
- [sits back down, but keeps staring at Rich]
- Macaulay Culkin: Every time there's a joke, I'm gonna look at you. I'm gonna look right at you, and point!
- [later, French Stewart and Missi Pyle get hosed by sprinklers, and the crew responds with mock amusement; Mack looks at Rich]
- Rich Evans: [sarcastically] A-ha-ha-haaaa! A-haaaa! Haaa-ha-ha! Ha-haaa!
- Rich Evans: Okay, we're gonna destroy two tapes, Home Alone-style! We got a paint can on a rope, and we've got Kevin McCallister armed and ready to go! Alright, Mack, you still got it?
- Macaulay Culkin: You know it!
- [from his ladder, Mack releases the paint can, which slams into a copy of Prototype X29A]
- Rich Evans: Yeah! Alright! That was great!
- [Mack fist pumps as Rich places Home Alone 4 on the chopping block]
- Rich Evans: Alright, let's see if you can go two-for-two. Time for the money shot!
- [Mack releases the paint can, but it accidentally hits Rich in the groin]
- Rich Evans: Ow, my groin!
- [Rich knocks over toys as he falls to the ground]
- Macaulay Culkin: Is he dead? Rich, you okay?
- Rich Evans: Ah... ah... oh, God! Ah! Ah! Oh!
- [Rich tries to climb back up using the toy shelf]
- Macaulay Culkin: Is he okay?
- [the toy shelf falls onto Rich; Josh and Shawn look on in terror]
- Rich Evans: Fuck! Ah, ow, ow! Oh, ow! Oh...
- Macaulay Culkin: Oh God!
- [Rich's hoodie prevents him from seeing; he knocks into the second toy shelf]
- Rich Evans: I can't see! Why can't I see? I'm blind! I'm blind! Ow, ow!
- [Rich falls over one last time; Mack has his hand over his mouth before looking into the camera]
- Macaulay Culkin: Still got it!