tonyw-3 Reviews

In the Realm of the Senses (1976)

Was it worth it? Not for me.

[1/10 · 6 November 2000]

So the UK censorship laws have finally relaxed enough for Ai No Corrida to be shown on TV. On FilmFour, that is - a subscription-only cable and digital channel. So was it worth watching? In my opinion, no, it wasn't. Much has been made of the artistic treatment of sex in this film and how it makes reference to repressive Japanese society. Sorry, but I just couldn't see that at all. All I saw was frequent and rather tawdry coupling, a totally inane "plot" and no characterisation at all. I've seen "adult" films with a better plot and less pornographic films of much greater eroticism (compare the lumpen use of an egg in Ai No Corrida with the raw egg scene in "Tampopo", for example). At least films classified as pornographic rather than "artistic" have the virtue of honesty. This film was, in my view, self indulgent claptrap. Having said all that, I applaud the decision of FilmFour to show it.

Storm of the Century (1999)

Give me what I want? No, it didn't.

[1/10 · 26 July 2000]

I'm afraid I have to disagree with the majority of reviewers here and say that I thought this was a load of claptrap. The plot was thin to say the least and the entire thing was completely devoid of any subplots that might have made it interesting. It absolutely lacked humour of any sort - some light relief would have increased the tension by contrasting with it - as it was this was merely a cobbled-together list of "interesting ways of making people die", followed by a rather trite "people have to make a choice" ending. After about the third (well, the second) death this all became very tedious. This set the tone for the whole thing.

Parts of it were cut from the whole cloth of other King stories. The fact that Flagg - sorry, I meant to say Linoge - knew "things" about Islanders came straight from the "poison pen" idea in "Needful Things", the "making people suffer at a distance" idea from King's truly awesome creation of Randall Flagg in "The Stand" (though without any of Flagg's depth) and the violence from Bob Gray (Pennywise) in "It". These were blended in such a way as to include only the more sensational and gory aspects without any of the creeping horror present in the originals. All it needed was a few Tommyknockers and a murderous car and we'd just about have had the full set!

Part of the problem is that Linoge is omnipotent - there is no way the islanders can beat him. No attempt is made, in any case. So the essential "good versus evil" struggle is missing, leaving the viewer only to wonder rather wearily how the final and inevitable capitulation would come.

Nothing much new here, except an unpleasant feeling that King really has finally run out of ideas. One thing I did notice - Linoge was wearing a belt with a snake buckle. Wasn't it Randall Flagg who wore one of those in The Stand? If so, perhaps King himself was making a kind of apology for ripping off his own character to make this dreadful potboiler!

Crackers (1998)

Flattered to deceive

[2/10 · 3 February 2000]

I have to admit I was disappointed with this movie. One or two scenes were screamingly funny (the barbie scene, for example) but overall I felt this to be just a couple of great scenes bolted together by a very weak plot. Warren Mitchell's Glasgow accent was terrible (and pointless - it added nothing to either the plot or the humour of the film). Without Mitchell however, this movie would be completely devoid of any interest at all. One for the Warren Mitchell completist, perhaps. 2 marks.

Spawn (1997)

Why?

[1/10 · 23 June 1999]

I found watching a blank screen a much more rewarding experience than the half hour of this rubbish I forced myself to sit through. Perhaps this movie made sense to people familiar with the Spawn comic book series - certainly neither the movie itself nor the rationale behind making it made any sense to me.

Bean (1997)

The film worked for me

[6/10 · 27 May 1999]

I've always admired Rowan Atkinson both on TV and as a live performer (his live "Indian restaurant waiter" sketch still has me laughing years after I saw it). I could never, however, stand to watch "Mr Bean", in fact I always thought it was a complete waste of Atkinson's talent. I put the Bean movie on the other day as there was nothing else on and I wanted something as background while I was ironing. I was very pleasantly surprised - the Bean character came over as far less cringingly embarrassing than in the TV series and I was amazed to find that I was enjoying the movie very much. The scene where Bean is being driven around LA even had me crying with laughter. Better than the TV series by far, in my opinion. Hopefully Bean II will never be made, though!

Babe (1995)

Mawkish, sentimental, unwatchable claptrap

[1/10 · 26 January 1999]

When Babe premiered in the UK, apparently bacon sales fell by quite a large amount, except in Yorkshire in Northern England. In Yorkshire bacon and pork sales increased by 15%.

This shows that Yorkshire people have excellent taste in films. "Babe" in my view is a disgustingly sentimental piece of rubbish, totally value-free and simply calculated to push the "aah" button. It's probably sponsored by the vegetarian lobby. Even the voice chosen for the character is enough to make me scream. I stood 30 minutes of this rubbish before I gave up and went to make a bacon sandwich.