Lamprey Reviews

Show Me Love (1998)

A universal film - simply wonderful!

[10/10 · 14 January 2001]

I'm from Canada and the film "Fucking Amal" is called "Show me Love" here. Let me tell you, this movie will *never* be popular in Canada, because of the title "Show me love" is seen as cheesy-romance. Also, it is foreign, subtitled, about lesbians, and wasnt marketed, so the only people who would see a 'cheesy romance' (young girls) wont want to see it, and dont know about it anyways. This is the same situation in the USA. That is death for this movie. But I dont care! I've seen it, and that's what counts right? :)

I rented this last week and took it back. I thought it was good when I first watched it. Then I couldnt stop thinking about it... so I ordered the DVD. But I couldnt wait for it! So I rented it again! Damn, what an incredible movie. I spent a whole day watching it over and over. The acting is flawless by Rebecka; you just want to run into the movie and hug Agnes and comfort her. Its wierd :) Ive never quite felt that way watching a movie. Its like, what youve watched on the screen is part of your actual real life experience, emotionally. It fuses into you, so that you feel everything the characters felt.

I highly recommend this movie. Even if you think romances are lame, or lesbian movies are stupid. This movie is niether. Its about happiness and sadness. Its about everything and nothing. Its one of the best movie experiences you can hope to have! My only wish is that the movie went on for another ten hours ;)

True Romance (1993)

Superb rollercoaster ride of a movie!

[9/10 · 13 February 2000]

The only reason I like Tarantino is because of this movie. It is simply a brilliant script. Say all you want about Pulp Fiction. I think True Romance is the better movie. Pulp Fiction has originality coming out the wazoo, but in the end I think being entertained is most important, and True Romance delivers. I don't know how this movie got made in Hollywood, since the first ten pages of the script are slow and nothing incredibly interesting happens in them (not that I'm bashing it, but usually you have to start with a bang to get anyone to read the rest of your script, so I've heard). Tony Scott is the right director for this, too. He has an eye for these things. What the movie is really great at is giving you memorable characters without any traditional development time at all. This is due in large part to the tremendous acting. This is like a big ensemble movie - without the ensemble ever occuring. Also great is the dialogue, and if you share anything in common with Tarantino, you'll love all the references he throws in to movies, comics, television, etc. Is it just me or was that producer supposed to be a jab at Arnold Koppelson? They look similar, and if you replaced "Brought Home in a Bodybag" with "Platoon" it fits perfectly with what people said about Platoon. "After Apocalypse Now, the greatest Vietnam war movie ever made." "When veterans of that bull$hit war say [good things] about my movie, it makes the whole thing worthwhile" etc. Definitely check this movie out if you haven't already! Loads of fun! And great on DVD!

Braindead (1992)

Too funny

[10/10 · 13 February 2000]

This is one of my favorite movies, just cuz. It's tons of fun, and utterly clever and original. Army of Darkness? Not as good as this classic. Along with Evil Dead 2, I think these two movies are the best and definitive horror/comedy movies ever made. But please. These movies are not meant to scare you. I hear too many complaints like this. "I hate Scream, it wasn't scary like Blair Witch." Well duh. I don't think it's possible to be scary and a comedy at the same time.

Evil Dead II (1987)

If you love this, you'll love Dead Alive (Braindead)

[10/10 · 13 February 2000]

Please, fans of this movie, you must see Dead Alive if you haven't already. Alongside, Evil Dead 2, they define the blood-n-guts-comedy genre. I won't say which one is better, that is for you to decide. I love them both. But everyone I meet thinks Evil Dead 2 (along with Army of Darkness) are they only movies of this type. Not so. ED2 pretty much came first, tho, so it gets credit for that (and for being absolutely hilarious)!

Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975)

Not that big a deal.

[13 February 2000]

The real reason people are so squirmish about this movie is not with the torture and violence, but the sex. In particular, gay sex. That's it. However, unless you are immature and/or a Christian, you shouldn't be too offended. I don't want to say too much about the movie. I didn't like it, but what it did, it did well.

I ordered this on Criterion DVD when it came out since it had such a legendary reputation. That was the only way I could see it. I don't regret buying it. In fact, when people come over and look at my DVD collection, I tell them there's one movie in there you've never seen, and never will, because I won't watch it again (and they never dare to borrow it). I love having it in my collection, because it is not cheesy garbage that goes for pure shock, like Pink Flamingos. It has an edge; it's unique. I don't recommend this movie unless you are a very serious and openminded film lover. You will just miss the point otherwise.

Robot Monster (1953)

Yes, worse than Plan 9

[1/10 · 13 February 2000]

Listen for this scene: the boy says, "I'm going to get a drink of water." He walks off frame, and we hear a giant splashing sound! So bad your sides will hurt from laughing! See it if you love bad movies!

Alien: Resurrection (1997)

Oh PLEASE, one of the worst movies ever made!

[1/10 · 8 February 2000]

How anyone can defend this piece of trash just because it is directed by a French art director is beyond me. Get a grip on reality people. The acting is beyond terrible, and the script is even worse. People who loved Thin Red Line probably think this movie is also quality. What a shame that we have so many idiots in society today. Whedon did nothing but take the cool "one-liners" in Aliens and decided that was what made the movie work, so the fourth installment is nothing but the lamest one-liner jokes ever. One scene had potential, where Ripley discovers her cloning mistakes. But one tiny scene does not a movie make. Sorry folks, anyone who thought this movie was as good as Aliens, or as good as Plan 9 From Outer Space, is a total fool. Alien^3 was a huge disappointment, but after Resurrection I have come to respect it more. I didn't think a movie could get worse. Jeunet and Whedon proved me wrong. BRAVO GUYS!

Magnolia (1999)

I loved it

[10/10 · 8 January 2000]

My favorite movie of 99, replacing Being John Malkovich, but this is not for all tastes. If you hate long movies, need a straightforward plot, action scenes, a surprise twist ending, etc., don't see this movie. This movie is by, and for, movie-lovers. A fantastic experience that sucks you in - not flawless, but a great time at the movies.

Being John Malkovich (1999)

My pick for best of 1999

[3 January 2000]

In a year of great movies, this was my personal favorite. Very original, smart, and hip - all without playing any cheap tricks on the audience. One complaint: about 1/3 of the way through, the lighting becomes very dark and stays that way for some time. This made me drowsy... The first time I saw it, I did not understand the end (my own fault). But the second time I got it. When they are reading the book about portals in the mind, it says "a person entering a fetus mind will be trapped inside it forever". Cusack had left Malkovich, then reentered the portal just after 12:00, after which the portal had stopped going to Malkovich and redirected itself into the fetus of "his" daughter... and of course he had no way to know this would happen. Very clever. I recommend multiple viewings, as things take on a different meaning the next time around. Great music, great acting, great story, lots of laughs, and a good amount of absorbing moments gives this one a 10/10

Summer of Sam (1999)

It's a shame...

[10/10 · 2 January 2000]

It's a shame this movie came out when it did, during a time when it was as politically incorrect as it could get to have violence in a movie (think post-Colorado shootings). If this movie were released a year sooner or later it wouldn't have been as ignored and hated as it is. This is really a good movie, if you aren't expecting a crime-thriller, but an interesting look at the summer of 77 in New York. The use of music is outstanding in this movie, the atmosphere is incredible, the editing is flawless, and it makes my top ten of 99. Not for the faint of heart (ie. conservatives who go insane when they see sex or violence on the screen). There is nothing 'a priori' wrong with having sex or violence in a movie. If you don't like that kind of stuff, what the #$%$ did you see this movie for?

The Green Mile (1999)

Wow! Very Overrated

[1/10 · 2 January 2000]

This movie takes the cake for 1999. The Phantom Menace was highly overrated... but not as much as this stale movie that is only average at best. With little surpises, a bland story, and pointless tacked-on fillers at the beginning and the end, it would surprise me if anyone would want to see this movie twice. Not nearly as good as Shawshank. Almost all of the jokes fall flat, which becomes embarrasing to watch... Darabont didn't spend a lot of time on this script, by his own admission even. From Shawshank, I was expecting some stirring music and cinematography in The Green Mile. Neither were present. In fact, the cinematography was so bad it almost gave me a headache. I felt like I was watching a B movie, with all the non-stop close-ups, occuring at a methodic static pace. Would you watch this movie again? If not, how can you say it is the best movie of 1999? It hasn't made any top ten lists of critics, from what I've seen... I really hope this doesn't win the Best Picture Oscar, but it is gauranteed to get nominated, simply because it has been marketed so well.

Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)

You don't sell a guy one car, you sell a guy five cars over fifteen years.

[10/10 · 5 December 1999]

"I know what I'll do. I'll rob everybody blind and go to Argentina because no one's ever thought of this before."

"Is there an absolute morality? Maybe. And, then what? If you think there is, go ahead, be that thing. Bad people go to hell, I don't think so, you think that, act that way. Hell exists on Earth? Yes. I won't live in it. That's me."

I had to post again about this movie. It's beyond words! I love it through and through. I've memorized most of the dialogue. It helps when you have a friend who has done this too, so you can reinact scenes when you are bored. :) So what is wrong with this world? Why is there no special edition DVD?

"Gentlemen. You heard the man."

"What is this in aid of?"

"As of tonight..."

"No what is this? Excuse me!"

"Excuse me. What it's in aid of is that Mitch and Murray..."

"F*ck Mitch and Murray! F*ck em! I'm doing my job I gotta put up with this childishness!?"

"Those are the rules. I'm paid to run the office. You don't like the rules, Dave? There's the door!!"

That was to illustrate some of Mamet's ingenious use of symmetric dialogue. "Yes. The cops. No." My favorite scene is where George presses Dave on whether he talked to Jerry Graff. You'll have to watch this a few times to really appreciate it. "What did I say? What did he say? What did he say? He'd buy em!"

"F*ck you, that's my name! You know why Mister? Because you drove a Hundai to get here tonight, I drove an $80,000 BMW. That's my name. And your name is you're wanting, because you can't play in a mans game, you can't close them, then go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life! Get them to sign on the line which is dotted!"

American Beauty (1999)

Pretty good, but not the best

[10 October 1999]

I thought this movie was really good, and goes on my top ten for the year. I seriously doubt that it is deserving of the number seven movie of all time (which it is listed as at the time of this review, but will probably drop as more votes come in). There are two faults I found with the movie:

a) I didn't believe Benning's character would want to shoot Spacey. There just was no motivation for it. b) As it is today, the movie breaks little ground and seems full of cliches.

Great acting and great direction stop the movie from becoming boring and pretentious. The characters are fully developed, with the exception of Benning's, which seemed to be developed up until the end. I think Spacey was really good, but Benning was the stand-out. Spacey didn't have a ton of challenging material here, and if you've seen him an any of his other roles, you'd realize this is a cakewalk for him. Still, great acting! Just not mind-blowing.

9/10

Titanic (1997)

Just a good movie

[10/10 · 12 September 1999]

It takes a decade or so before narrow-minded people see beyond the hype and enjoy a movie for what it is. Titanic and other mega-hits may have made tons of cash, but this fact should not persuade or dissuade anyone from enjoying the movie. Just remember, Titanic was not hyped up like The Phantom Menace was. Titanic's success was due almost entirely to being a good movie, and appealing to a very wide audience range. If you want to hate a movie for being it's marketing, hate Phantom Menace or Blair Witch. Cameron has been my favorite director since Aliens, and this movie made him a household name, as he deserves. I can't stress it enough: be objective, judge a movie on the movie, not on it's marketing. Just remember, other directors sell themselves out and spend more time marketing their movies than making them (Lucas and Spielberg). Cameron has never done this. He may be a jerk, but he has integrity and simply loves to make movies, as Titanic shows. He doesn't care how much money they make.

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

Overrated, but worth seeing for horror fans.

[1/10 · 31 July 1999]

There are two ways to look at this movie: as entertainment, and in terms of it's importance. As entertainment it is passable, but the importance of BWP is very great. Hopefully this movie will encourage others to make movies that rely on similar scare strategies. What this movie has is atmosphere. It doesn't use loud blares of music and expensive special effects to scare the audience. You know what I'm taking about: Jan De Bont. Compared to recent remake of The Haunting, Blair Witch is a masterpiece.

Yet as I said, as entertainment BWP is only passable. It is a repetitive bore, with a few scary scenes near the end. The final moments leave a LOT to be desired. A lot of people complain about gore in horror movies, but here it would have helped. Without it, the movie seemed like just a bunch of kids running about in the woods trying to make a scary movie. If we had actually seen, say, a glimpse of Josh, it would have worked wonders for the movie. I also did not like the use of the second camera, as at the end we are not seeing the actual footage, but edited footage to heighten tension. Considering the movie is desperately trying to be realistic, this completely shattered the believability of the last scene.

Furthermore, the sound effects could have been equalized or something to make them more audible. This is supposed to be realistic, but so much so that the audience can barely hear the sounds. As it is, the sounds of Josh in the distance are drowned out by the footsteps and breathing of the other actors.

Sadly, the audience I saw this with did NOT like the movie. The film makers tried hard, but ultimately their low budget and unwillingness to use some special effects hurt the movie. It might have made them money. That is another story. The Haunting made 33 million on openeing weekend. What does that tell you? These movies are all hype folks; the true judgement is what you thought of it yourself, how it made *you* feel.

Heather Donahue could be in line for an Oscar nom with this one, even though the 'script' was overdone. Despite this, she did great in her part.

In the end, I don't know how this movie got so hyped, or got so many great reviews. This is definitely not the most original movie I have seen, either. Cannibal Holocaust, for instance, was in the same vein, and more disturbing. I guess audiences have been craving a good horror fix, and nothing has come along for a long time as good as Blair Witch.

The Elephant Man (1980)

The most touching film I have ever seen

[10/10 · 18 April 1999]

I see lots of films, and have a "Top Ten" list that only the most incredible of movies can enter. However, upon seeing Elephant Man for the first time, it immediately broke onto that list which is dominated by Sci-Fi "guy" movies.

The reason is that this movie is so heartbreaking, so sad, and yet so full of hope, there is little you can do to hold back your emotions while watching it. I recommend watching it alone, for two reasons: 1) it is very painful and sad to watch and 2) the value is lost if you are trying "not to cry" or have something else on your mind (like talking to your friend).

The performances are very well done, by Hurt, Hopkins, and everyone else in the cast. The only gripe I have isn't really a gripe - the film isn't 100% true. But it will make you forget all your problems for a while. Witnessing the life of "John Mellick" makes your own life seem like paradise.

Even after repeated viewings this movie loses NONE of it's impact. Paramount, please release it on DVD!

The Matrix (1999)

Unrealistic? What?

[9/10 · 11 April 1999]

The Matrix rocks! It is the best movie I have seen in years. It is not perfect, but it is one of those movies, like Braveheart and Titanic, that put you on the edge of your seat and make you sweat. Also like Titanic and Braveheart, The Matrix is not very original (ex. Braveheart is a rip-off of Spartacus), but what it does, it does well, and doesn't pretend to be smart. It just is a cool movie! I've seen it twice and can't wait to get it on DVD!

The Matrix (1999)

One of the best movies in years!

[9/10 · 7 April 1999]

Kudos to Warner Brothers for breaking their bad-movie slump. THE MATRIX is their best release in a long time, and it will make a kickass DVD! I wasn't expecting much from a cheesy sci-fi movie starring Keanu Reeves and a bunch of other unknown actors, but whoa, I was blown away by this!

There are a few problems with the movie, granted, but these problems are far outweighed by the incredible ingenuity of the story line and the best fight scenes I have ever seen! The "agents" were especially cool. The worst thing about this movie was the "talking bad-guy" syndrome. The bad guys talk too much when they are winning. But it doesn't detract too much from the movie, since the agent's speech is actually somewhat interesting. Also, the "humans as energy" scheme made no sense. But there was nothing that made the plot fall apart.

Keanu Reeves is also... gasp;... GOOD in this movie. I still can't believe that is really him and Fishburne fighting. Those scenes are so well done it defies belief. I thought the first half of the movie was the best though, when you don't really know what is going on. And the sci-fi jargon actually makes sense, so it is not a bore to listen to. Well, if you haven't seen this movie yet, do it! I hope TPM can top Matrix!

Wing Commander (1999)

Passable Sci-Fi

[6/10 · 13 March 1999]

Kind of like "Das Boot" meets "Star Trek" with some cheesy space planes that look like WWI fighters with gigantic gattling guns attached on front. While the space battle scenes took me right back to the days of Wing Commander I computer game, nothing else in this movie is really any good. The acting is average; however, the script is really terrible and fails to significantly develop any of the characters. Some people say that's artistic and sophisticated (ala Thin Red Line) but I prefer to be entertained.

The second trailer for Star Wars was also playing for this movie... AWESOME... this may be the first genuine case of a trailer helping to promote the movie it's playing before!

The Thin Red Line (1998)

Not the Next 2001!

[1/10 · 11 February 1999]

Just because a lot of people didn't like THE THIN RED LINE, and just because it is non-Hollywood and long, doesn't mean it will be the next 2001. The similarities end there. Explain why critics love TRL while they once mocked 2001.

2001 was groundbreaking and went in a bold, original new direction. Who would have thought to do what Kubrick did with science fiction? But narrating crappy philosophy over top of an inaccurate war movie? Is that bold? Perhaps. Original? No. The only originality that exists is that such an amateurish movie convinced so many people to worship it. Now, I don't think that has ever been done in movie history before. Perhaps Independence Day. Yes, TRL and ID4... there we go... both suck, and both have hordes of mindless cult followers, only one camp chants "Action!" while the other chants "Art!", (dont forget that if you like an art movie you're an advanced being).

In the end, it's no 2001. 2001 has layers. It is deep, and its complexities can be analyzed. TRL, on the other hand, can be taken only at face value, which says "war=bad". Whoopee!!! I rank TRL up there with such classics as "G.I. Executioner" and "Sgt. Kubukiman, N.Y.P.D.".

The Thin Red Line (1998)

The Critic's Shame

[1/10 · 31 January 1999]

The outstanding/good reviews given to this movie by almost every well-known critic, and the universal hatred of it by everyone else is ironic in a way. No critic is brave enough to admit that he/she did not like this movie. No, that would be like admitting you have no taste in movies, that you're prejudiced against art flicks - and we just can't let Stephen Spielberg be king forever.

Well let me tell you something. I like art flicks, PROSPERO'S BOOKS is one of my favorite movies, but THE THIN RED LINE is just bloody immature. True, there are a few miscellaneous redeeming features, cinematography and other things technical; however, not enough to cover up the embarrassing dime-store philosophic narrations, the in-your-face symbolism (duhh what does that dying bird symbolize duhhh), the overacting, the pointlessness of half the scenes, and the constant repetition of the war-is-hell cliche. We've heard it all before, but now Malick wants to bore us to death with it. Maybe that was his point and this movie is a poke in the face at modern attempts at war movies. Nah... no one's that smart.

I never dared dream that there could be a war movie worse than SAVING PRIVATE RYAN in the same year, but Terence Malick continues to shatter all Hollywood expectations. My hero.

Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)

The Best Kept Secret in Cinema

[10/10 · 31 January 1999]

This movie is so good that you may not realize it even after you see it twice. I cannot think of one other movie with better acting all around, or even better dialogue. Even with a subject as drab as the life of real-estate salesmen, David Mamet injects it with an energy unrivaled in any of today's action movies.

It also gives you a lot of food for thought. Like 2001, if you sit and think about the character's motives, what their lives must be like, and so forth, you get a pretty complex puzzle. Does Williamson really know what he was doing when he made up the story? Could the check really be good? Why did Williamson give Shelley a bad lead when he knew it was bad? When did Shelly talk to Moss about the robbery? How did Roma get the Jim Lingk lead? What could Shelley have said to John to save himself? How does John get away with all his broken deals ("If you tell me who you sold them to, I won't turn you in")? All these questions and more... heck I'm going to go pop my copy in the VCR right now and watch it again!

Aliens (1986)

The Definition of Action Sci-Fi

[10/10 · 31 January 1999]

If there were an Oscar for best cast, ALIENS would probably be nominated (PLATOON would have won it, being in the same year and all). This is my favorite movie of all time.

Oh, and to all the nay-sayers who scoff at the mother alien going up in the elevator: She didn't press the button! The elevators automatically returned to the top. Pay attention next time you bash a masterpiece. I really hope they do not make a fifth movie in this series, because the two sequels are utterly ghastly pieces of film trash!