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mythago
Reviews
Conan the Barbarian (2011)
By Crom!
Look: it's a mindless, fun, brawny adventure flick. It's not directed by Merchant Ivory. It has a location set at Skull Cave, for crying out loud. If you're looking for a fun sword-and-sorcery movie with likable heroes, evil villains and a basic but serviceable plot, this is it. The acting is fine for the limited range the characters get, with the exception of Rose McGowan, who does an amazing job with Marique. Khalar Zym is a villain who is actually believable as a threat and not simple a hand-wringing evil overlord. And if you're looking for eye candy, there's something for everyone.The opening background sequence with Conan as a young boy is particularly well-done and really sets the character. Nobody's going to be able to really transpose Howard's two-fisted adventure prose to the screen, but the film does more than a half-decent job of capturing the flavor of the setting and the broad, simple lines of the characters. Well worth a Saturday matinée or a DVD at a party.
The Musketeer (2001)
Very much a gamer movie
Don't see it if you are a Dumas purist. The characters are taken from the book, but little else--including the plot--is. If you go expecting a fun movie, rather than a consistent one (note to director: kilometers did not exist in the 17th century!), you'll enjoy it.
Re-Animator (1985)
NOT H.P. Lovecraft's Re-Animator!
A great performance by "Herbert West," but otherwise lame, unless you are a teenager who truly loves cheesy slasher flicks with tacky sex scenes.
"Dan, cat dead, details later."
The Being (1981)
The all-time worst!
A film so bad, I'm not sure even MST3K could save it. Every time you think "This is the worst--it can't get any stupider than this," it does. I finally left at the cat-slaughtering scene.