Reviews
Addio ultimo uomo (1978)
Oh god. There goes my lunch :(
The next time someone asks you what the most repellent film you've ever seen is. It's this. You've probably not seen it (especially if your in the UK) but it doesn't matter, just lie to them & describe the most vile things you can see done to the human body. It's all here for your enjoyment.(castration, male & female circumcision, body piercing, sex, punishment, animal slaughter etc..) It's all real too, so all you Fulci, Deodato fans will probably lap it up. The thing is, it's really interesting, so it's perhaps wrong of me to say its all a sick excuse for entertainment.
You've been warned. 5 out of ten
The Base (1999)
Oh. look, another bunch of film makers giving Dacascos everything to do, but fight :(
Just go rent "Drive" again okay? The few fight scenes contained in the film look like they've been thrown together. Photographer Jacques Haitkin & director Mark Lester just don't have a clue. I really expected a half decent film here & was left very disappointed.
3 out of 10
When a Stranger Calls Back (1993)
9 out of 10
J Campolongo more or less says it all. Tension is kept tight throughout, Walton really knows how to squeeze every once of suspense out of these kind of films. There's a few great twists (one of the main characters is knocked out of the action half way through). Nice to see the original stars once again especially Carol Kane who gives it her best & wont take any of this "Shes just a mixed up kid" crap from the cops. Wipes the floor with the first one which people really only remember when you quote the line "The calls are coming from inside the house!" 9 out of 10
Night of the Demons III (1997)
shoot everyone concerned ;)
"Demon House" as it's called here in the UK, is pathetic. There's not even drop of imaginative gore to brighten up the proceedings.
Carnival of Souls (1998)
Oh no it's got "Wes Craven presents" in the title :(
The pits! God knows why Wes Craven insists on slapping his name on the front of drivel like this, it's only going to ruin his reputation.
I've not seen the first film that this was based on so I can't compare them.(please someone do the honors & tear this film to pieces)
Far too many prolonged dream sequences got me reaching for the fast forward button, characters you don't really care about, gorehounds will hate it & a naff ending just about sums this film up. one out of ten.
Aberration (1997)
Tremors it ain't
Pretty pathetic horror film from New Zealand. Nothing much happens for the first hour, actually nothing happens at all. The lizard type creatures aren't very scary & most of the time are seen all too briefly, making for the nearest bit of furniture to hide behind.
A very poor example of low budget film making
To Make a Killing (1988)
YES just that!
Slow & plodding to begin with & pretty dumb in places - 2 teenage girls get in a car with 3 lads that they've never met before & have sex with them (but of course).
But despite being full of stupid bits like this, the film managed to win me over due to its sheer nastiness. My fave bit is at the end when Tamblyn Lord kneels over the lead bad guy with a knife raised high. The lad looks up at him & calls him a gutless c***. You know what happens next. Stab, stab, stab, stab. Hehe. Loved it.
Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)
bit of a bore
They refused to certify this in the UK. Still I managed to see it & can't make out what all the fuss was about. Besides, the guy has a drill on the end of a guitar, so they can hardly say the weapon may be imitated. A second cut here & there & this would be a goreless bore.
Hmm, still love to see part 3.
Sometimes They Come Back... for More (1998)
Better not come back a fourth time, or else!
Superior to the first two movies, anyway.
The film maintains a good deal of tension for the first half. Then it all falls to pieces. I think the writers gave up & just decided to make it up as they went along. The thing between the two half brothers was pathetic & ruined an otherwise average movie. Oh yeah, by the way I'm the son of Satan.
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
Limp
Hated it from the word go. Those opening credits really did my head in. There's no cool F13th logo exploding across the screen. It probubly doesn't matter to most, but I consider myself a die hard Friday fan & I'm afraid having naff red credits come on & off while the cameraman does a waltz around some street in NY just doesn't follow Friday formula. Add crap rock music to that too.
Oh look there's no gore. Still, those pesky UK censors managed to cut out a whole second before allowing it to be released on video. Should've cut an extra 80 odd minutes if you ask me.
Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI (1986)
Phew! Back on track
Nice to see a "little" humour being applied to the series, I was getting a bit fed up of the same cat jumping out of the cupboard/body thrown through the window antics that the series had settled down to. The characters here are pretty much likeable cannon fodder, the killings are fairly inventive but again YOUR MPAA spoilt the fun. Blimey there wasn't even any gore left for our own censors to take a pair of scissors to.
The 3rd best in the series (1 & 4 being the others)
Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)
a bit Sh** really eh chaps?
1. No gore, & over a minute cut for it's UK video release. 2. No Jason. 3. No tits. NO! i'm only kidding about that. Anyway naked chicks covered in blood just cheapens the films some more & annoys our censors too. Rubbish. Just not quite as bad as part 7...well ok, as bad.
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
The best!!
It's gory & it'll make you jump-several times. This it what F13th should be like (most aren't). It was a nice surprise to see Joseph Zito's name as director although he hasn't done much in the horror field, he did treat us to Rosemarie's Killer/The Prowler a few years back. Top notch fx by Savini. Censored by 20 seconds here in the UK. Jason doesn't slide down the blade at the end. Spoil sports :(
Friday the 13th Part III (1982)
A bit crap on the small screen in 2D
Well I'd have loved to see this one in the cinema in 3D, unfortunately I wasn't old enough back then. On video the movie sucks, just look at that guy swinging a yoyo into the camera for 30 seconds (yawn) They relied on the 3D effects too much to carry the movie. Some of the killings are cool. Andy's in particular. Well I cringed when he got his anyway. Trimmed down in the UK for video- Debbie looks up at Andy's chopped body & we don't get to see it! it looks so silly.
Clownhouse (1989)
Why can't all horror movies be this atmospheric?
I mean, what about that bit where the clown suddenly runs for Casey after taunting him to wave. I've never seen anything so creepy! Great photography, eerie music & good performances from the young cast. No gore, but so what? 9 out of 10