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rudypoo
Reviews
Mars Attacks! (1996)
Adding Tim Burton to this cast is like adding garlic to a cheesecake
What a terrible waste of so many good actors and actresses. I'd love to know what Tim Burton (who I personally think is without a doubt the worst director in Hollywood) slipped these folks to get them to work with him. Didn't they all see "Ed Wood" or his awful Batman movies?
Please don't give me any garbage about deeper meanings. This movie is one of the worst I've ever seen- and I have one heck of a sense of humor, especially when it comes to bad movies. Jack Nicholson and company should file a suit to have this movie erased from existence.
Thankfully the rest of Hollywood seems to have caught on to the fact that Burton's a terrible director/writer, but I'm sure some sucker with a bottomless bank account will put him back to work soon enough.
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
Simply awful- a waste of time
I've always felt that Kubrick's movies were a mixed bag- from 2001 to Full Metal Jacket there were compelling scenes and pointless, boring ones as well.
But it's a shame that this piece of utter garbage is what he'll be remembered for. There's no other way to say it.
One hundred and sixty five minutes of plotless, motionless movement that just had me begging for the end to come. The one thing that really bothered me about this movie is that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get myself to care about anything that happened on the screen. I can't say that about a lot of movies. As I walked out people asked me about certain aspects of the movie, and I just shrugged my shoulders and said "who cares?".
Kidman is basically used in this movie as a body and Cruise simply isn't made for roles like this. Throw him into one silly, irrelevant scene after another and we get a nearly three hour message on monogamy. Thanks, Stanley.
Don't be fooled into thinking this is a good movie by die-hard Kubrick fans- a spade's a spade. Just go to the movie theatre and ask a handful of people what they thought of the movie- some people will say they loved it (Kubrick fans) and the rest will likely say they hated it. If you go see it, let me be the first to tell you "I told you so.".
Disorderlies (1987)
Turn your brain off and you'll love it
Okay, so it isn't the Godfather, but if you like comedies, this is definitely a movie that you should enjoy. The bumbling Fat Boys have long since vanished from the limelight (were they ever really in it?), but this was probably their crowning glory.
Just sit down with something fattening and let yourself be amused. You might be surprised if you don't expect oscar-caliber acting or a great storyline, just something to keep you laughing.
The Last Dragon (1985)
A classic, hands down.
This movie is like a guilty pleasure- nobody really talks about it, but every time it comes up in a crowd, within seconds people are using classic lines like "Who's the master?" and "Hey my man, what it look like?" and laughing like maniacs.
This was my favorite movie as a teenager and I've probably seen it 100 times. From the hilarious over-the-top performances to the hybrid karate/comedy/musical genre, it's a movie that kept me laughing the whole way through.
If you like classic movies, then don't waste your time- you'd be better off watching "The Sound of Music" for the 800th time. But if you didn't like this movie, odds are you tried not to.