Change Your Image
WiseOne-4
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Choke (2008)
A complete train wreck. Clark Greg's first and last job as a director
I've never watched a movie and been left with an overwhelming impulse to hunt down the director and flog them repeatedly with a strand of anal beads.....until now! Clark Gregg took a brilliant book ready to stand side by side on the silver screen next to Fight Club and instead threw up a hollow shell that really just amounted to a retelling of the plot points from the book. He left out the most important element which is of course Palahniuk's sharp witted deadpan narration.
As other people have touched on Fincher and Ed Norton nailed it in Fight Club but in this film Clark Gregg absolutely ruined it. Palahniuk is a brilliant satirist, a modern day Kurt Vonnegut, but without his narrative voice reacting to all of the ridiculous things going on in the story it feels more like an episode of My Name is Earl than a Palahniuk story.
Watching the movie you get the sense that even the actors know it's not working and are just going through the motions the best they can. Clark basically wrote an outline of all the plot points from the book and tried to mimic them leaving out most of palahniuk's narration and not adding any imagination, style or wit. The voice over narration he does include leaves out 95% of Palahniuk's best material. The book had me belly laughing time and again. Palahniuk's writes in simple language but he has a brilliant dry wit and cynicism that's unmistakable.
It's like Clark Greg was afraid to copy finchers fight club style so he went in a completely opposite mind numbingly generic direction. Director Clark Greg, also the screenwriter, had the nerve to cast himself in the role as the magistrate of colonial dunsboro. A character that was present perhaps one scene in the book, Clark writes himself in multiple new scenes for the character, none of which are funny. Go figure.
Why is it not surprising Clark Gregg's directing credits only include this movie. Thank God I'm not the only one that believes he should never be behind a camera again.
If anyone has yet to read the book, please please don't let this atrocity scare you away. The book is absolutely brilliant!
Drive (2011)
Much like fashion is cyclical apparently so are movie clichés
Ryan Gosling and his girl friend are in their apartment elevator with a mysterious man in a suit. Ryan notices a gun in the man's jacket. He grabs his girl and starts to make out with her in the elevator. Queue the high contrast lighting and long "intense" multi-angle shots followed by Gosling throwingthe mystery mans head into the elevator and stomping his face into the ground till it squishes. His girlfriend mortified exits the elevator and stares in disbelief. Ryan stands there coated in blood with the typical blank expression on his face and the audience laughed.
The whole thing just so ridiculous. The police, such an intricate part of the opening scene are nowhere to be found the whole rest of the movie as Gosling leaves behind dead bodies in hotel rooms, on the beach, in diner parking lots and even in his own apartment complex elevator.
This movie takes itself way too seriously. From the out of place eighties-esque synth pop soundtrack to the equally out of place large pink title cards this movie is a mash up of 80's clichés and pretentious cinematography. I went into this with high expectations based on all the user and critic reviews. Although I was impressed by the acting of all the supporting cast and the intensity of a few scenes here and there overall I left the film thinking what a waste of time.
Ryan Goslings character was so unbelievable. It's like they were trying to make him a quiet Steven Mcqueen tough guy but it just didn't work. Don't get me wrong he has tons of screen presence but his character was so uneven. He could barely communicate or express any emotion with any character in the film including his girlfriend but he somehow was great with the girlfriends son. He turned into father knows best. Please! Guys like this have mental and emotional problems and they would feel just as uncomfortable around a child as they would around adults. But the filmmakers try and manipulate us by showing the equivalent of scenes of him doing magic tricks like pulling coins out from behind the boys ear.
At least 30 minutes of the film were long scenes of Gosling driving down the road staring off into space. I couldn't help but reminded Taxi Driver. But that movie had voice over's and a far more interesting lead character. Gosling is just pure 80's superhero tough guy with no characterization aside from his undying loyalty to the girl down the hall and her son he's known we presume for at most a few weeks.
They tried using violence purely for shock factor.
The best thing about the film was the opening scene where Gosling uses his wit and exceptional driving skills to avoid the police from catching him as a getaway driver for a robbery. But that scene was bittersweet because it seemed to make a promise that there would be more scenes like that to come but the movie is just all downhill from there. All the support cast were great though, although for the most part given little to do or say. In particular Albert Brooks and the forever awesome Bryan Cranston. Oh and the girlfriend was pretty hawt too.
This movie was entertaining to watch when I didn't know where it was going but once I saw where it ended up it all just felt contrived and empty. The opening scene promises a total different movie than is ultimately delivered. What was so interesting about it is it put you in moment of what it would really feel like to try and escape police pursuit in the real world. But after the opening the rest of movie turns into fantasy that's hard to derive any real tension from.
Grave Encounters (2011)
No scares, nothing disturbing, no point
To give perspective I will start by saying I was legitimately disturbed by the ending of Blair Witch even though it was so simple. I found the last scene to leave a powerful image that stayed with me long after the viewing. So I'm not one of those people that just bashes any "reality" based found footage movie. I enjoyed Blair Witch, Cloverfield and was truly spooked by Paranormal Activity.
That being said I must say this movie was a huge disappointment. I had read several reviews claiming it was the scariest movie in years and such. Don't believe the hype! This movie is all bark and no bite.
The story begins with a television producer introducing the footage as being found from a television crew that were filming a reality show about haunted locations. Everything starts out well enough with some interesting dialogue that gives us insight into just how fake some of these "reality" shows are. And what happens seconds after or before a cut is drastically different than they'd lead you to believe.
The problem is the screenwriters have a fundamental flaw in the film in that they painted themselves into a corner story telling wise. Its pretty much implied right from the start that none of our protagonists will survive the evening so then what are we watching for? Most of the fear and tension of a film comes from not knowing if the hero's will survive.
If there were any doubts that no one survived from the found footage intro it becomes painfully clear 30 minutes into the film when they realize that the doors that led them into the building no longer lead out of the building. And that although their watches read 8am its still night outside.
This begs the question what are we watching for? To find out how these people will die is the only real answer. And unfortunately this being a very low budget film the death scenes are neither creative, gory or interesting in any way.
Avoid this film at all costs! Unless you want to sit around with your friends and laugh at it.