dahlia-8 Reviews

Sex and Lucía (2001)

very pretty and deeply flawed

[15 July 2002]

By far the most interesting character in this film is the island of

Formentera. (It is left unnamed in the movie, for Maximum

Symbolism Impact.) The place looks like the afterlife and the film

made me want to go there in a hurry. (The island, not the afterlife...

well, on second thought...) The other thing that I liked about "Sex and Lucia" was, yes, the sex.

The sexual situations were VERY explicit and abundant, and,

startlingly, humorous; the filmmaker understands that sex can be

hot and touching and funny as hell, all at once. This is extremely

rare. No prurience or coyness here, thank heaven. That said, there are real problems with the film. Lead Male

Lorenzo (say it with a lisp) is a cipher, an unappealing, vague

person whose pull on his flock of beautiful women is totally

inexplicable. I had a hard time buying him as the magnetic sexual

dynamo he was meant to be. Around the charisma-free Lorenzo revolve, by my count, at least

three separate movies. "Sex and Lucia" shifts perspective so

frequently and abruptly that, although the plot isn't difficult to follow,

I felt like I was watching a whole different deal each time. "Hey

guys, I wanna make a mystery, a romance, and a tragedy/drama

but i only have enough budget to make one film..." AGH.

When all's said and done, this flick is substandard in many ways

but probably worth catching once it goes to the sticky-floor, $2.50

second-run art house. Elena Anaya out-Angelina-ing Angelina may

be worth the price of admission, all by herself. Well, Elena and the

Maximally Symbolic Island.

Donnie Darko (2001)

wherefore darko?

[11 July 2002]

i have no idea what this movie is supposed to be about; i think it has a moral but i'm not sure what it is. the plot doesn't stand up to any kind of logical scrutiny and drew barrymore is awful.

all that said, "donnie darko" has haunted me like no other film ever has. it is so, so emotionally involving, asks huge questions and doesn't begin to answer them, and has an unnerving way of sticking in one's head.

great neglected 80s songs, too. and frequently funny. 10 out of 10.

High Plains Drifter (1973)

suckerpunch

[4 February 2002]

i've seen this flick several times and finally realized why i liked it so much... it isn't really a western. the setting is completely incidental, and the story is eternal. what happens when anxious, limited, and passive people bite off more than they can chew to preserve their "way of life", even in the face of serious karmic transgressions? watch and learn. particularly relevant today.

Chicago Cab (1997)

sweet little movie

[4 August 2001]

I caught this at 4:30 in the morning on cable, and was expecting the usual 4:30-cable fare. I was pleasantly surprised. I thought this film was touching and sometimes pretty funny. (See John Cusack as Scary Guy.) Mr. Dillon has an amazing face, and does a great job with minimal dialogue. Some of the vignettes bog down a bit, but overall this one is definitely a renter. Look for the Muslim cabbies praying in the parking lot.

The Fast and the Furious (2001)

didn't _want_ to like this...

[23 June 2001]

... and "schindler's list" it ain't. But for a low-IQ summer testosterone flick, "The Fast and the Furious" is surprisingly involving. The car scenes are remarkable, the soundtrack "bangs" (in the parlance of our times) and some of the performances are quite good.

Vin Diesel, as usual, manages to rise above some pretty cheesemo dialogue and make conflicted-dude Dom into someone fascinating. This guy is one hell of an actor. Paul Walker, playing protagonist Spindler, is pretty but not terribly charismatic; he has a kind of blonde-Keanu thing going on. Diesel and Chad Lindberg, as ADD-afflicted mechanic Jesse, are more engaging. The women are more "types" than anything else but this is fundamentally a Guy Flick and two-dimensional chicks are to be expected.

What I didn't expect was well-written supporting characters, ethnic diversity without preachiness on the topic, and lovely cinematography (it's stylish without being excessively MTV, and LA looks just like itself.) The plot is a little loopy, but there's more than enough here to justify buying a $4 discount-twilight ticket. And I dare you not to lay down some rubber leaving the theater parking lot.

UHF (1989)

The plot isn't the point

[1 August 2000]

It's a real shame this beast didn't do better at the box office; thank heaven it has found its niche among cultish Weird Al fans and 9-year-olds everywhere.

I saw this in the theater when it first came out. Although I've seen more cerebral and highbrow comedies I have never laughed so hard in my life as I did at "UHF". From the sight gag at the very beginning with the tiki head giving a raspberry to the karate guys bursting out of the supply closet in the denouement ("SUPPLIES!") this movie is a consistent howler. It's less a coherent whole than a series of set pieces which are almost entirely extremely funny.

Interesting also are the before-they-were-huge-stars performances, notably Fran Drescher and Michael Richards, who is vaguely disturbing as kiddie-show host Stanley Spedowski.

The PG-13 rating is very harsh. There's a lot here that younger kids will get a real bang out of. I'd say anyone over the age of about 7 will flip over "UHF", unless you're an insufferable snob.

This Is Spinal Tap (1984)

What they said...

[9/10 · 1 August 2000]

This flick is everything it's supposed to be and more -- truly hilarious. And no, I don't believe one has to be a musician or in the Industry to enjoy "Spinal Tap", one simply must appreciate giggling at people who take themselves too seriously.

If you're watching this with a Tap virgin, make sure they ~know~ it's a MOCKumentary.

Mostly I'm just writing this review to sneak in a couple lines nobody else has quoted yet...

"But then it all has to be ~folded~."

"Yes, I'm sure I'd be taking it very hard if I weren't so heavily sedated."

And besides... am I the only person who thinks "Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight" is actually a good little tune?

Breaking All the Rules (1985)

oh mah gah

[28 July 2000]

my friend and i pooled our pocket change and bought this at the drugstore, on tape, for 99 cents. and boy, were we glad we did!

this movie is ungodly bad, i mean really incredibly ridiculously bad. it's embarrassing when it tries to be funny and more so when it gets salacious, which is frequently. the acting is awful, the plot negligible and the fashion? *shudder*

highly recommended for anyone who's glad it's not the 80s any more and wishes to debunk some nostalgia.

Chicken Run (2000)

Genuinely cute...

[27 June 2000]

Without being sappy or cloying; this is a wonderful movie. The voice characterizations are perfect, the animation is brilliant and the references hilarious. Great for everybody, although I imagine the accents could get a little thorny for Yankee tykes to follow.

Personal favorite: Mac the egghead Scottish chicken.

Battlefield Earth (2000)

a complete mess

[1/10 · 26 May 2000]

WARNING: MINOR SPOILERS

This movie is so catastrophically horrible i was dumbfounded. I'd estimate that fully half of the already meager audience split before the end of the movie, and several were seen demanding refunds at the box office afterwards. The dialogue was wooden, the acting embarrassing, the look of the film unpleasant, and one could parallel-park a semi in the plot holes. example: why are post-technology cavemen able to pilot Harrier jump jets after what looks like about a day of training? Why are said Harriers fully fueled and in perfect working order after 1000 years' abandonment? Why does baddie Terl, supposedly brilliant, decide to impart the collected knowledge of his species into the brain of a rebellious human and then leave the human relatively unsupervised? Why does gold have any value at all to extraterrestrials?

If you must see it, do so drunk.