Jerry G Reviews

War of the Worlds (2005)

A beautiful piece of crap

[3/10 · 4 July 2005]

How in god's name has the movie earned a 7? Spielberg has copped out again. Huge plot holes and not one believable character. Yes the special effects were masterful, but that was a given wasn't it? I mean, what was the point? It looked great but said nothing. Tom Cruise continues to show that he has absolutely no range, and the kids were annoying (Tom, smack that boy, be a man). Cruise's character was such a wuss with his kids. His heroics were false and incongruent, it was as though playing a Joe six pack guy is a stretch for his superior scientologist clear mind. Tom, common people are not that feckless. The ending, while appropriate for H.G. Wells' story, meant nothing because the characterizations were lame. They drank the water and died. Yay for mother earth and the cooties that are all around us! How in hell is this movie earning a 7?! Wait for the DVD, and rent it.

FLCL (2000–2001)

FLCL, may be more than it seems!

[22 October 2003]

FLCL Caught me by surprise one night on [adult swim], episode 2. I couldn't take my eye's from the screen. I had no idea what I was watching, but I didn't want it to end, and yet, even that was great. "Ride On Shooting Star", is a great song. And it makes no sense to me. That is the jist of FLCL, in my opinion. But the fact that it makes no sense doesn't mean it lacks in substance. Cos' I can't get enough of it. I would describe its style as a splash of light, sound color, motion, and time. A homage to Tex Avery, and to a larger extent WB's Loony Toons. It has it's own rules, that exist in this world solely. It's kinetic-quick cut-show all motion at once-action scenes are overwhelmingly susscinct, and hard to follow at first. So when the pace slows down, it leads us to several very dear moments. So now, though this much information delievered to the mind is common in the anime form it's almost as if the mind still has to learn how to watch FLCL. Not on a linear level mind you, but around impressions. I speak of this fully through my "american/english/" experience. I may never comprehend the full "japanese"-ness of it all. But clearly it's stlye is trandscendent of mere verbal language.

Actually, in it's way, it makes the world presented in FLCL mundane, even the robo battu make sense here. It's shell of a story allows for some mighty fresh temporal grease, it slides through whole indexes of style. Effortlessly. And that kind of stuff can affect how we see things, in a good way. Puns, slap-stick, sex, psychosis, adolescence, violence, opression, food, school, love, and chaos. Now add technology to the mix with a creative team that doesn't take itself seriously, but cares about it's story. It's FLCL! Fun piece of mind candy!

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)

Clearly, this movie offends some! But it ain't dumb!

[10 July 2002]

A filthy potty mouth of a movie. And it is glorious! I love this very smart movie. It is not stupid, it is filthy! Do not equate filthy with stupid. It is not destructive in its language, just filthy. Look at South Park: The Movie, Filthy! Funny! It's a satire on the overall dumb, scatological, movie market. It is a movie-movie, a Mad, mad, mad, mad, mad World kind of movie. It is tribute to the road movie staple. A parody of the stoner movie. I makes sense of the senselessness that pervades much of what is condidered "teen" movie fare.JSBSB did not insult me. Its language may be insulting to some (f****** A!) but at least it did not insult my intelligence. And it is not cruel towards its characters. And its homophobe tag is mistaken. It lets us in on the joke at the point of encounter with George Carlin's character, when he points out the blurred line between gay and straight. Oh, and by the way... Dis joint is the f****** mad s***! A f******, m*****f****** funny f******, movie, f***, yeah!! The DVD has great features and outtakes!

The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)

It's scary how much I love this movie

[9/10 · 3 March 2002]

Rent this, I own the DVD, got it for $9.99. A steal being so under-rated. Sure, there are better movies. Movies with fewer or no holes in the plot or action. BUt I don't have that problem with this movie. For me if a movie stays true to itself, honest and exploitive of its flaws (and virtues, obviously!) in the name of entertainment, then it has fulfilled its purpose. I got me to care, because its makers cared. The entire movie is preposterous from beginning to end, but its makers took the whole undertaking seriously, And I did not feel manipulated into taking the movie seriously. And that is so true, because I want to take every movie seriously yet many, oh so many, let me down. For all of its preposterousness, this movie is almost perfect, and completely entertaining!What a funny screenplay! It also has become eerily relevant in light of the events on 9/11. In no way do I seek to minimize the loss. But this movie incorporates the tradegy of the WTC collapse before it happened in ways that we will never see had the movie been made after those events.

"...it's either gone for good, or here to stay." "wouldn't you agree?"

Species (1995)

Perfect MST3K Fodder

[24 October 2001]

Gloriously bad! A great cast wasted (or were they?) in fact it appears these fine actors took a look at the screenplay and as a group decided not to take any of it seriously!Had the director lost control? It looks like they didn't care! There is no direction around the action only indication. The cast just hammed it up, to almost brilliant heights.

Don't miss this hilariously flawed, car-wreck of a movie. If you love bad movies, it is not a waste of time.

I have it on DVD and show it to all my friends, they love it!

A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

Some Mild Spoilage Ahead!

[5/10 · 1 July 2001]

As a long time Kubrick fan and a marginal Speilberg fan I was awaiting this movie with great expectations. Very High expectations! For the 2/3 I was very pleased and taken by the story. So much of this movie made me want to love it. This is a wonderfully realized movie and the special effects blend seamlessly, Jude Law's Gigilo Joe is very refreshing. Osmet is really good as David. It is full of startling and telling metaphor,

Clearly it is a tragedy, a film about loss. It was going there, and it failed to follow through. Obviously Speilberg hasn't learned the difference between expressing sentiment and sentimentality. My suspicion is that the true end of the movie involved revelations about the seemingly kindly Dr. Hobby as the true villan, David is exposed to the horror of his purpose and origins. He was product. This realization is what led to his seeking to destroy himself in the ocean and ending the movie at his ferris wheel grave gazing eternally at the object of his tragic obsession, the Blue Fairy. But no, this has to be the greatest betrayal in the ending of a movie I have ever witnessed. LEAVE AT THE END OF THE FERRIS WHEEL SCENE!!! Stay at your own risk, it will ruin the movie.

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)

Didn't expect much and yet I got less

[17 June 2001]

What!? No plot?! I knew that. No acting?! I knew that! This bad?!! I didn't know. An incomphrehensible, wrong headed, waste of time. Not even campy. No sense of humor. Lara is leading a dog pack caravan across the frozen tundra! The comic relief is fecklessly whining about how cold it is, as he is well bundled in his parka! But the Tomb raider cooly mushes her team, her unfastened long coat flapping in the wind with her spandex encased breasts leading the way!

With no sign of pea smuggling! Hey it's cold, and all this movie had going for it were these puppies! A waste of time!

Pearl Harbor (2001)

I was warned, and so are you!

[1/10 · 5 June 2001]

I've come to expect movies like this to attempt to revise history. They even altered FDR's "a day that will live in history" speech. Why? I think it indicates the carelessness, or callousness of these movie makers that extends throughout the film. It's like a chronic liar that lies when it is not necessary, telling the listener more about the liar than the facts addressed. The acting was feckless, pacing slow and superficial. Technically it was a "wow!" but, who could care about these people? And besides, in 1941 a black sailor would not have likely been given medical care by a white nurse. Sorry, in 1941 the military was segregated! The black sailors would have been the last to be treated. Didn't everybody smoke cigarettes in 1941? Not one person lit up in the whole movie, that is an indication of how needlessly manipulative and cowardly these movie makers were. What a waste. I knew what to expect in the fact telling department, but did it have to be sooooo boring? Gawdalmighty!

Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

A wonderfully realized movie musical.

[7/10 · 21 March 2001]

This is a classic example of a hollywood musical. Good songs, funny, sincere acting, a bit dark, romantic, and the plant is amazing. Ellen Greene is heartbreakingly sweet and vulnerable, and she can sing. Steve Martin is point on funny as always and you have to love Rick Moranis. I was a fan of the B&W Roger Corman original, but this is a totally different creature and a worthwhile pick up from the video/DVD store. I own the DVD and director Frank Oz's commentary is very enlightening and it has a music soundtrack only feature.

The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)

Saw it in the theater, I own the DVD!

[9/10 · 19 March 2001]

This is one of the best action/suspense movies made in the 90's. The plot is probably more consistent than many hollywood actioners. If you complain about plot holes you haven't been paying attention! And to be honest, why would you complain about the implausable physics/circumstances found in most hollywood movies of this ilk (outrunning explosions, wide open gunplay in public areas and the like)! The screenplay is great and funny, and very consistent for a movie of this type. This is one movie that would have been worth a sequel but it is a shame that a strong female lead could not be accepted by critics.

Favorite line "...whatever he's attempting to dislodge, is either gone for good or there to stay. Wouldn't you agree?" Sometimes it is the small things that help in character development. Very entertaining!!

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

Come For Kicking, Stay For The Story

[10/10 · 29 December 2000]

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon has to be the finest film of the year! I had been hearing about this movie for some time now, and I loved the trailer. As a lover of martial arts action flicks there was no way I was going to miss this one. Amazingly still, I had no idea what I was in for! CTHD is the most satisfying movie I have seen in years (supplanting the Matrix). A common complaint about most asian martial art flicks is that in spite of the excellent fight scenes the plot and production values tend to suffer.

So I came to this movie for its state of the art fight scenes, and was absolutely blown away. But wait, there is a story here and boy, it is well told! Action, romance, intrigue, betrayal, redemption, fantasy, and even effective comic relief! It's got it all folks! In his other films Ang Lee has shown great mastery of balance and tone. And here he has created a whole new bag. The fantastical flying elements do not detract, nor overwhelm the story. Everything fits. Even the flashback segment, usually the death rattle of many a poorly concieved plot introduces a romantic thread which elevates an already passionate tale to unexpected richness, it is gorgeously funny and sexy! Very sexy! The fight scene on the bamboo tops is at once thrilling and sensuous. Much of the action in the hand to hand department involves the female characters, and these are among the best shot martial art scenes on film. Chow Yun Fat is so cool. The dialog is in chinese with subtitles, but don't let that keep you away. The plot develops at a pace akin to a flowing stream, rolling with eddies over stones but always moving, always refreshing itself. This is a movie of excellent quality and beauty, and it is a great date movie!

Tampopo (1985)

Throughly entertaining fun.

[8/10 · 16 October 2000]

A sweet and savory treat. Food life sex and more food. The homeless gourmand's scene is wonderful. One of the best movies from the 80's!

Duets (2000)

A strange movie that I really wanted to like!

[3/10 · 18 September 2000]

All that made it on the screen in this movie seemed to be a bit off. I was quite sure of this once the ending was reached. There was a dark feel that was completely denied in the end. It would have benn a better film if it had stayed true to its darker theme. As it stands the ending left me confused and betrayed. Something went wrong in the final cut of this production. In spite of Paul Giamatti entertaining performance and Huey Lewis doing well... Bad flick.

Nurse Betty (2000)

Superb movie!

[10/10 · 10 September 2000]

As much as I found myself laughing out loud with this darkly touching story, I found myself marveling at how well this film worked on every level. A great cast that is well used in the service of a solid, skillfully written screenplay. Rene Zellweger is so believable and dear in the way she matches the darker plot elements with convincing sentiment. There may be many oscar nominations out of this one. Director, screenplay and several performances! See this without hesitation!

The Art of War (2000)

I haven't laughed so hard at "The End..." of a movie!

[4 September 2000]

Sloppy, lazy, incoherent, movie making. This movie betrayed itself at every turn. How could this plot be predictable when it offered almost no information except through serendipity. Everything just seemed to happen! No logic no sense just stuff happening! The makers forgot that intelligent folks may end up seeing this movie.

Let It Ride (1989)

A total sleeper, a true surprise!

[8/10 · 31 August 2000]

One of the best movies built around horse racing. Funny screenplay, with well paced direction. And Meg Tilly in that red dress! Robbie Coltrane is perfect. Richard Dreyfus is so good at expressing glee in this movie.

The loser has a good day! I stumbled upon this on cable and was so glad I stayed with it. It made me wonder what happened to this flick when it was in the theatre? It truly tanked! It could easily become one of your favorites JerryG

Battlefield Earth (2000)

This movie made all the wrong moves...eg.

[1/10 · 21 May 2000]

There is a scene during the movie's action packed climax when a character hollers into his walkie-talkie, "...they're (Psychlos) moving in fast! Watch for the next scene and if you are like me you (and the rest of the audience) are gonna die laughing! This movie is full of examples of crap movie making! When will the lurching and lumbering end? Big feet, big feet! Bring on the big foot jokes! John "Bigboo-tay!" Travolta is really pushing his fairly good rep to the edge with this one!

Gladiator (2000)

Cecil B. would be proud...

[28 April 2000]

Great movie! I would see it again if only for the well realized environments. Ridley Scott has done for Rome what he had done for the L.A. of the future in Blade Runner. The battles are intense and sweeping. The arena contests are brutal and well staged. Many nice little cinematic touches.

Russell Crowe is again exceptional and believable in this role. He conveys his feelings with a subtlety where there could have been much scenery chewing and gnashing of teeth. He allowed me to care about Maximus. A lesser actor would have been lost in this production, there is so much going on. To be honest there is some heavy melodrama but that would seem to be inherent within this genre. And in spite of some slow and indulgent stretches there is actually some injection of sly humor. Joaquin Phoenix actually humanizes his evil character who is nonetheless in the end, evil.

Gladiator is a spectacle, larger than life and this is why we go to movies. Isn't it? See it.

Gladiator (2000)

Cecil B. would be proud!

[27 April 2000]

Loved this movie. It is clearly a throwback to a long dormant genre. Not perfect mind you, it has it's flaws. Those flaws would be inherent in any movie of this type. Heavy-handed melodrama, and obvious indicating of good and evil. Not much that is subtle here. But, y'know it is a Roman empire/gladiator movie, right? Russell Crowe has shown he can carry a movie, and he carries this movie superbly. Man, he's good. There is clearly a sly sense of humor at work in many of the performances. Joaquin Phoenix is very good as Commodious the evil emperor, he almost makes you want to empathize with him. This is the late Oliver Reed's last role he will be missed. The action is very well done and this movie is violent! (no guns) Ridley Scott directed Blade Runner and what he did for L.A. of the future he does for ancient Rome, nuff said. Great opening battle scene. Aside from a couple of slow spots and its inevitable though historically inaccurate ending, this is a great movie! See it!

End of Days (1999)

Arnold at his thick headed best

[14 December 1999]

I include a couple of spoilers but don't worry, there is nothing to miss. Do not see this movie alone, see it with your most smart aleck wise cracking friend. It cannot be taken seriously. Why did the flying invisible devil jello mold entity choose Byrne's character? I'm sure he didn't wash his hands when he came back to the table (cos' he's the DEVIL now!) The unleaded urine scene was hilarious. The mark (Omega) on Christina York's arm looked like the stylized "That Girl" credit logo. Go to point and laugh.