sulu_99 Reviews

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

the terrible, awful no good vampire movie

[3/10 · 4 May 2003]

"i weep for the future"

i'm amazed that they got away with calling this "bram stoker's dracula" and further amazed that some humans actually think it's true to the book, and furthest amazed that enough humans praise this movie enough to land it with a 7 ranking on imdb.

the good: set design and cinematography.

the bad: everything else. the first mistake, straying from the source. coppola took the source material on some bizarre journey. the approach worked for "apocalypse now" but dracula turned out to be the accident waiting to happen. by openly displaying the subtext of bram stoker's nicely plotted work all tension was lost and he ended up with a goofy harlequin romance novel--dashing foreigner sweeps bookish housewife off for foreign romance. all you need is fabio and the deal is complete.

both versions of "nosferatu" are much more true to the source material and infinitely superior to coppola's debacle. there's a reason he doesn't direct much anymore, and this is it. i challenge anyone who thinks this is the best movie ever, or the best vampire movie, or true to the book to go see what murnau and herzog did with "nosferatu" before making up their minds.

The Lost Boys (1987)

crap

[1/10 · 5 March 2003]

if you think this is a good vampire movie, uh, with what are you comparing it? the lost boys couldn't be more lame. it's only redeeming qualities? jamie gertz and the genius of putting the two coreys in the same movie. remember, this was done by the wiz kid director that made "batman and robin" and we all know what a pillar of movie magic that flick turned out to be. for a real vampire flick, check out either "nosferatu" (and "shadow of the vampire," for good measure)or take a look at carl dreyer's "vampyr, der traum des allan grey" (don't worry, there's little dialogue so you won't have to worry your puny head with "reading" the foreign words.

Cube (1997)

don't be fooled

[1/10 · 17 February 2003]

Don't be fooled by all the positive comments here... The Cube is not a good movie, it isn't that fun, it isn't worth more than 15 minutes of your time, but it sure would be better if it were only 15 minutes long, as that's all the time you need to get this movie: different people are stuck in a cube and have to get along or die because the government blah blah blah. Toss in a little science fiction and you've something about as gripping as the time the people got stuck on the elevator on "General Hospital." That's not to say it's a completely bad movie... it's not. It's okay considering it's an indie B-movie, but it's nowhere near "the best movie ever made" or the 7/10 rating it's currently got on IMDB. There's a reason this movie was never released in the theater, a reason you've never heard of it before, a reason the only person telling you it's good is also the same guy who likes *all* anime. Get it?

Vampire Clan (2002)

do not rent this movie

[1/10 · 15 February 2003]

I like vampire movies, even a lot of the bad ones. But not Vampire Clan. Vampire Clan is bad. The plot was simply not engaging, dragging on and on. The acting was silly and the main character was just goofy (but maybe that's how goth kids really are, i don't know.) The dialogue was okay considering it had to fill minutes and minutes of nothing happening. This movie succeeded on no level. Some vampire movies are so bad they're good right? "Queen of the Damned" is completely stupid, but it's not a total loss as you can make fun of it every step of the way. Not Vampire Clan. The only thing this movie gives you is the feeling of what it's like to live forever, and not in a good way. So don't rent this movie. Look away. run.

The Crow (1994)

two hours spent on one good idea

[3/10 · 20 May 2000]

two hours spent on one good idea (and only one.) this is one of the most poorly shot movies known to mankind. the characters are uninteresting; the plot is a bore. how many more drippy 'goth' movies must we endure?

Vampire Princess Miyu (1988–1989)

a fine vampire flick

[10/10 · 28 April 2000]

this is one of the best vampire movies around (which isn't saying too much as most of them suck.) the characters draw you in and the style of storytelling, although a little difficult to follow at first, really works with the plot-lines to allow you to think about and experience what happens. the only real drawback is that the animation was a little too static. all in all, this goes in my top 5 vampire movies (position 2 or 3.)

Man of the Century (1999)

see this film!

[10/10 · 27 January 2000]

i just saw this as part of a slamdance overview (it played at slamdance last year) and i was delighted. this is a clever, well made film. the picture follows johnny twennies, a young man with all the style and character of newspaper reporters from early movies, only he's living in the present day. his "old fashioned" manners and morals confuse his modern counterparts and occasionally creep in and take control of the film. i highly recommend this show for all.

there is a little swearing in the film, which somehow warranted an 'r' rating even though there is much less swearing and less objectionable material than most 'pg-13' flicks (if you let your kids watch pg-13, let 'em watch this.)

Pi (1998)

visually interesting

[8/10 · 3 December 1999]

the best thing about this movie: lighting. the stark black and white contrast used worked excellently to illustrated the movie's theme mathematics and nature. the soundtrack worked well and the main drawback is the dialogue, which often came off as trite. the play "arcadia" by tom stoppard covered much of the same material with dialogue that was far superior, but "Pi" is a movie, and delivers what a movie should: compelling sight and sound.

SLC Punk! (1998)

give it a shot

[8/10 · 3 December 1999]

told in documentary style, this story follows a punk as he tries to reconcile his lifestlye with life in general. this flick is a fresh alternative to traditional film and narrative styles and a good illustration of what independent film can do. not to be taken too seriously, "slc punk" is a nice, honest shot of rebellion, and you don't have to be an slc punk to like it, but it helps.

The Straight Story (1999)

a beautiful flick

[10/10 · 11 November 1999]

an excellent movie, it's unfortunate this got no publicity. beautiful cinematography, great acting and yes, the pace is slow and there are none of the dazzling things that get a movie an 'R' rating, but if you will put away your mtv mindset for a couple of hours and check this out you can get at the essence of a truly beautiful film: ****. also, try to catch this in the theater if you can as much of it will be lost on the small screen.