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Reviews
The Parlor (2001)
Frighteningly realistic
Anyone who has ever wasted time in a chat room needs to see this short film. It cleverly, accurately, and chillingly depicts the world behind the computer screen. THE PARLOR will evoke nervous laughter as you recognize yourself in one of the many archetypal chat room denizens: psycho flamer; boy band freak; on-the-make middle-aged married guy; bored, sex-obsessed teen; closeted homosexual; and more.
From his filmography, Geoffrey Haley appears to be a protege of Alan Ball, creator of HBO's Six Feet Under. It would interesting to see if he gets any writing or directing gigs on that show.
Josie and the Pussycats (2001)
Buy the soundtrack, skip the movie
I saw this film last night, and I was not completely disappointed. The stars, Rachel Leigh Cook, Tara Reid, and Rosario Dawson are serious eye candy, and there were some funny bits. The music, however, was a revelation! Oh how I wish there was a rocking power trio of hot chicks like the Pussycats on the radio nowadays. Of course, the actors had nothing to do with the music, but surely the music business could cobble together some babes with some drum and bass chops to back up the lead singer, who I believe was with Letters to Cleo, and make a few records.
As for the film, the most important thing in bringing a comic book or animated series to the big screen is to be as faithful to the original as possible, regardless of how silly it is, and here the filmakers succeed admirably. The extraneous character of Alexandra (Missi Pyle from Galaxy Quest) even says she's only there "because I'm in the comic." Josie, Val, and Melody are their same old selves, with Reid especially evoking Melody's sweet goofyness. Parker Posey and Alan Cumming lend their considerable talent as the clueless villains. Seth Green does a great turn as a boy band member with issues.
The plot consists of the obtuse observation that the music industry is trying to co-opt the minds of teenagers into buying stuff they don't need, and Josie and the 'Cats bid to stop them, by, I guess, becoming a part of it. The irony flows freely, as the movie itself takes part in the crass commercialization it supposedly abhors. With many winks and nods to the camera, the action builds to a thoroughly silly and implausible conclusion, again, much like the original TV series. I would definitely watch it again on video, if only for the skin-tight outfits of the comely 'Cats and the hard rocking soundtrack, but I would not recommend paying $8 to see it.
Miss Congeniality (2000)
Don't Encourage Them
The producers of MISS CONGENIALITY took absolutely no chances making this film, hiring America's Sweetheart (hereafter known as A.S.), Sandra Bullock to star, and surrounding her with a cast of veterans who could sleepwalk through this picture, and did. The writing was trite and predictable, and the jokes were mildly amusing at best and absurdly overdrawn at worst. They chose to shoot fish in a barrel by poking fun at beauty pageants, and even then, they couldn't even follow through on this, since the ultimate message is that beauty pageants aren't so bad after all. Please do not encourage these film makers to film again with your $8.50.
I took in this puff piece on Christmas Day because it happened to be the only thing showing at the moment we arrived at the theater. The film opens with a flashback to the childhood of Gracie Hart, the title character, played by A.S., establishing the fact that even in grade school, she kicked ass and took names. Why, we never really find out, or even begin to care. She is now an FBI agent, and her lack of social skills and basic grooming apparently also causes her to be a perennial screw-up on the job. Facing an impending review board after her most recent fiasco, she by chance happens to be the perfect candidate to infiltrate the Miss United States Pageant in the hunt for "The Citizen", a bogeyman who strangely never does amount to anything in the film. I guess they couldn't get Alan Rickman. In any event, he supposedly has sent a note vaguely threatening the pageant, so off we go.
Despite raging protests by her boss, over-acted criminally by Ernie Hudson, Gracie is chosen by co-worker Eric Matthews (Benjamin Bratt) to turn in her t-shirt and sweats and submit to a makeover by "pageant consultant" Victor Melling, the foppish Michael Caine. Predictably, Victor plays Henry Higgins to Gracie's Eliza Dolittle, and before you know it, Gracie's a stunner. This turns Eric's head, of course, and the romantic subplot is given life (barely).
Meanwhile, Candice Bergen's pageant coordinator, Kathy Morningside, is cooperating with the FBI to allow Gracie in the pageant while simultaneously plotting to copy The Citizen's M.O. to sabotage it because she is being canned. Again, we never are given any good reason why, nor do we care. William Shatner is introduced as the Bert Parks-like pageant host, but he mostly plays himself as, what else, an egotistic....... Gracie flimsily enters the pageant to replace Miss New Jersey, who has been disgraced by starring in a porn video. By this point, I wish I had rented that instead of going to the movies.
The "plot" lurches forward, as Gracie works her way through the preliminaries, bonding with her competitors to dig up dirt. Why the FBI thinks the contestants in a beauty pageant would be involved in bombing it is never made clear, nor does it really matter. After some mildly amusing pratfalls and silly set pieces in lovely San Antonio, The Citizen is then caught off-screen, and Ernie Hudson barks shrilly for everyone to go home, or "turn in their badge and gun!!!" as if we didn't have enough cliches. Naturally, Gracie turns in her badge and gun, like every single cop in every single bad movie, and stays behind on her "hunch" that Kathy Morningside is up to something. Eric soon follows, on cue.
Of course, there is a happy ending, with Gracie reverting to her kick-ass form and punching out Miss California (which was pretty funny, I admit) as she and Eric save the pageant, learn something about themselves, and fall in love. Maybe it would even make Ernie Hudson's heart melt! Thankfully, we are spared that scene.
A.S. attempts valiantly to carry the film, but even her considerable charms cannot overcome the hopelessly hokey plot. And who would believe for even 10 seconds that Gracie isn't a babe? This, among other myriad holes, sinks the movie from the start. Bratt is a handsome man, but other than that, he's an empty suit. Caine, fresh off his Oscar for "Cider House Rules", looks foolishly out of place in this mess. Bergen must be hurting for cash, and Shatner, well, is Shatner. Four writers are credited and should all be ashamed. A.S. is also listed as a producer. Honey, when are you going to realize you keep making the same picture?
The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
Excellent film with some flaws
"The Talented Mr. Ripley" is an excellent film, a feast for the eyes and ears, thought-provoking and full of superb performances. However, in my opinion, there were serious flaws in the picture that detracted from my enjoyment.
As others have mentioned, the pace of the film was exceedingly slow. After an hour and a half, I couldn't believe that there could possibly be another 49 minutes of movie left. The last act dragged on interminably.
Also, I see no reason why Tom Ripley needed to be homosexual. The whole point is that Ripley wants to be someone who is better than himself, not that he wants to have sex with someone better than himself. Was it simply beyond the scope of Mr. Minghella's imagination that a man could covet another man's life without wanting to have sex with him? I simply don't understand why sexuality was even a factor. I'm not saying that Tom should have been heterosexual either. I think he should have been asexual, with regard to the story line. This would have made a far more interesting and focused character. Introducing Tom's homosexuality only muddied the waters.
Aside from these flaws, the film is undoubtedly brilliant. Matt Damon, Jude Law, and Philip Seymour Hoffman give especially outstanding performances. The cinematography and score are as good as any movie I've seen, giving me a desire to tour the beaches and jazz clubs of Italy as soon as possible. Gwyneth Paltrow is radiant as Marge, although her role is ultimately a superficial one. The supporting actors are also terrific, especially Cate Blanchett, James Rebhorn, and Sergio Rubini (as the Inspector).