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Reviews
15 Minutes (2001)
Not excellent, but not terrible
Robert De Niro returns from ex-CIA agent in Meet the Parents to murder investigator in 15 minutes.ex-convicts arrive at America to collect money from their old pal. But when their "pal" has spent all of the money, the convicts become mad and kill him. Then an idea strikes them. They decide to make a movie out of their trip to America, not to mention their murdering spree which ensues soon after. But expert investigator Ed Flemming is hot on their trail, and an arsonist inspector as his sidekick. Thus the story unfolds. I have to say that 15 minutes is one of those very unique murder movies. While the movie was shot in near-darkness a lot of times, the plot was extremely interesting and easy to follow, unlike most mystery films. The actors who played as the convicts were very good, especially the one with the camera, as they displayed humor at times, and exhibited their personalities very well. The one with the camera was is only interested in his new movie, nothing else, and the other one is interested in killing people AND making the new movie. Like many murder/mystery movies, 15 minutes has its share of blood and F words, the latter being more frequent. On the downside:(WARNING: BIG SPOILER AHEAD)DeNiro's character met an early fate(SPOILER OVER)and there were too many scenes that were filmed in the dark. But on the upside, the overall plot, the action,(especially the action scene at the end)and the humor was alive and well. 15 minutes is a movie that is quite worth watching.
Scary Movie (2000)
Sad
You know, Scary Movie should not be known as Scary Movie. Probably Perverted Movie. Why, I don't think this is even a movie at all. This has got to be the sickest piece of trash I have ever watched. And I thought Talos the Mummy was bad. This is unspeakably stupid in every way. The plot does not exist because this...thing for no reason switches to a needless sex scene or some other perverted scene just for the sake of putting one there. None of those scenes have any relation to the movie, if it was one. In fact, you might think you are watching a different film when the scene switches abruptly to a sex scene. As for the scenes that satrize films like the Matrix, Sixth Sense, Blair Witch Project and Scream, those were done poorly because the actors genuinely look like they were trying hard but unsuccessfully to imitate the scenes. The actors...are just pitiful. Anyone who would agree to act in such a film is either perverted or in desperate need of money. The acting is the same boring thing every time. For instance: person sees killer, person becomes supposedly "scared" and panics, killer stabs person. Whenever any of the main characters see the killer heading towards them with a knife, its always the same reaction. Their eyes go wide and the go "Oh My God! Its him! Run!" After about 5 times of the afore mentioned it becomes less funny and more stupid and pointless. I've heard a lot of good and bad remarks about this waste of my time. Please, if you're quite sane, save yourself from this sad excuse for a movie. Otherwise, open up and eat the bad trash.
Shanghai Noon (2000)
Rush Hour goes to the Wild west
Jackie Chan returns once again in the second of his "team up with an American" filmssince Rush Hour. This time he heads to the wild west to rescue his master's daughter from terrorist hands. Like all Jackie Chan films, Shanghai Noon contains a lot of humor, lightning fast kung-fu action and a cool attitude. I liked the fighting scenes which were extremely quick and well timed. Chan's cowboy side-kick provides half the laughs with his funny attitude and gun slinging action. The acting was good and so was the plot. The same can be said for the humor. The only complaint that I have is that the word s*** was used TOO extensively. Even the native americans used that word. All in all, Shanghai Noon should be able to bring back the laughs that Rush Hour provided, with the action packed fight scenes.
Wo hu cang long (2000)
good and bad
This movie was both good and bad. I thought the storyline was rather weak and hard to understand, as there were too many plot holes and unneeded scenes and characters, such as the police inspector, as the influence he had on many characters was short lived. The ending was lousy as it did not resolve many things. Chow-Yun-Fatt showed the same expression on his face during the entire movie, even when he gets hit. And the way he spoke to Michelle Yeoh's character in the first bit of the movie seemed like he had rehearsed his lines once. And as the story unfolds, Chow Yun Fatt's character seems so insignificant to the storyline, which looked like it was centering around Ziyi Zhang. On the good side, the fighting scenes and sword fighting were done well.(Though at one point of the movie the fighting seemed unconvincing.)The cinematography and the scenes when the characters defy gravity and leap incredible distances were breathtaking as well. If you like quick and mind-boggling martial arts, with sword action so fast you'll get blown away, watch this movie. Otherwise, don't.
Alien³ (1992)
so-so
WARNING: SPOILERS--Being a big fan of the aliens trilogy, I have to say that I was quite disappointed with Alien 3. Firstly, the movie literally killed off Newt and Hicks in the beginning--two characters who would have both made a great sequel to Aliens. And furthermore, it also wiped out all the effort Ripley put into protecting Newt, and in the end, she drowns when the ship crashes into the ocean. In addition: Hicks's death marked the complete annihilation of the marine platoon in Aliens. And even worst: Ripley died at the end!! The most questionable thing in Alien 3 is how on earth another facehugger got on the ship. The queen could not have laid an egg on the ship, because that would take ages. And since when did a single facehugger be able to impregnate two different victims with two different types of aliens? These strange things are the reasons of Alien 3's unfolding story. Which means: Alien 3 should not even have existed. On the plus side: Alien 3 sports some really good acting, and a lot of suspense. There's a lot of blood in it, too. The scenes when the alien chases the colonizers were well-done, which the same can be said for the alien itself. The ending was also good. When everyone who watched it left the cinema, I was fascinated to find out that NOBODY was talking to each other. All in all, Alien 3 isn't such a bad movie, but for a hardcore Aliens trilogy fan, it is the lousiest of the bunch.
Carnosaur 2 (1995)
I HATE THIS!
WARNING: SPOILERS--When I saw this movie, I wondered whether the people who made the film had nothing to do and just engineered this movie's existence. I hate Carnosaur 2. The acting is poor, the text was garbage, and worst of all: the plot, the story, the characters, and every geekin' thing in the movie was all copied from ALIENS, my favourite movie. Every scene in Carnosaur 2 came from ALIENS. For instance, when these two guys are cornered by the monsters, one decides to blow both him and the other guy up with dynamite. This scene came from ALIENS, where the commander takes himself and a wounded soldier out with a grenade when they are trapped by aliens. Another scene: When the woman is prepping the helicopter for take-off, a monster appears behind her, kills her, and the chopper blows up. In ALIENS, when the evacuation craft is on its way to pick up the soldiers, an alien stows away onboard, then later kills the pilot and causes the ship to crash. Yet another scene: When the character goes to rescue the boy and get out of the base before it blows up, they are confronted by a bigger mother monster, and the boy drives a forklift and drops it down the elevator shaft. In ALIENS the woman goes to rescue the little girl, but are confronted by an alien queen, which later stows away in the evacuation ship and attacks the two. The woman then uses a robotic loader and drops it down an airlock. I COULD GO ON FOREVER! Carnosaur 2 is just a waste of time. A message to anyone who thinks Carnosaur 2 is not bad: Go watch ALIENS. If you think ALIENS copied Carnosaur 2: Then look at the years when both movies were made.
Aliens (1986)
Nothing comes closer
This is THE best movie I have ever seen in my entire life. The story picks up from Alien, where a woman named Ripley, after surviving an ordeal with a bug-like alien, is picked up by her employers while in her ship. She is offered a chance to lead a military expedition to the aliens' planet as an advisor in exchange for her a new job and new life. Ripley and the team then descend onto the planet and that is when the action begins. There are a lot of reasons why I would recommend this movie to anyone. It portrays the characters' personalities extremely well(Bill Paxton's character is an example) and it also creates enough tension to make you pee in your pants. The special effects were good for a movie made in the 1980s, and there is enough one liners and memorable quotes to keep you begging for more. Another reason why I like this movie is because it has none of those kissing scenes and mushy stuff. Every movie I have watched in the past 8 years had a kissing scene. The music was excellent, too. The dialogue, unlike most movies, is easily understood, and can keep the most prominent dialogue hater interested. Aliens is still my number 1 movie. And until now, nothing has come close to it.
Six-String Samurai (1998)
really stupid
From the start of the film, I was saying to myself: "OK, its about post-apocalypse, and I love post-apocalypse films." But when the intro was finished and the movie began, I was saying to myself: "What the heck is this?!" The movie is not too bad but the beginning would really make people just stop watching it because it is TOO STUPID. First, there is a kid and his mum chased by cavemen. Then this weird guy in a tuxedo jumps out and kills all the cavemen. He's the main character, but his looks and behavior are just TOO STUPID for anyone to believe that he is. The boy was even dumber. Every few minutes he lets out a really obnoxious scream that sounds TOO STUPID that it would just turn anyone off. The boy follows the main character everywhere he goes, letting out that really pain in the neck scream for no reason. Is he retarded? Is he in a trauma? It does not matter, because the main character and all the villains are just as questionable as the boy in terms of their stupidity. The band members the main character comes across early in the movie are just...just TOO STUPID that even the dumbest person on Earth would ask himself what kind of band would make music by using trash can covers and flapping their fat cheeks and mumbling really dumb words. Stay away from this movie if you prefer to watch films that are not STUPID.
Gladiator (2000)
excellent
Gladiator, as far as I can tell, is the best roman-history movie I've ever seen. Set during Rome's conquering of Europe, Gladiator is about a good-hearted General Maximus who, after skillfully conquering Germania, is heir to the dying Marcus Caesar's empire. But when Caesar's son hears that he is not the one to inherit his dad's throne, he kills his father, proclaims himself Caesar, then arrests Maximus because of disrespect for him and kills his family. When Maximus escapes from execution and discovers of his family's death, he is picked up by Gladiator trainers and trained to be a Gladiator. The movie was really good in cinematography as the scenes of the catapults and ballistas and flaming arrows in the sky, the colosium and the inside of the arena were absolutely stunning to see. During the sword battles, things got really bloody, sometimes the battles got messy and you could not comprehend what is going on: For instance, you can hear a sword cutting flesh, but on the screen all you can see is a complete shifty blur. But still, that does not take away the spirit of the movie, with the truly fantastic acting, the cinematography, the plot, and the drama involved. There were about 2 or 3 scenes where I nearly cried. The movie involved a LOT of blood and violence, such as when Maximus uses two swords like a pair of scissors and cuts off a gladiator's head, or when a female archer falls of the chariot and is later sliced in two by the spiked rod that sticks out of the chariot wheel. If you like intense battles and good acting, along with blood and guts, look no further.
Crazy Taxi (1999)
crazy action
This game is excellent as it looks, feels, and sounds like a really exhillarating mad drive around the city as you pick up passengers, get them to their destination in the shortest time possible using whatever means necessary, such as bending the traffic rules, smashing through cafes, boxes and wreaking havoc in parks, and drop the passenger off and receive your fare and perhaps some bonus tip. Crazy Taxi is pretty crude and weird as weel, such as when a passenger(specifically an old granny)gets impatient in the cab, says:" Oh, you lousy driver, you suck!", and jump out of the cab while the cab is still moving at high speeds. But on the overall, its really hilarious and fun to play. If you own a Dreamcast and love crazy action, get the game now.
Tale of the Mummy (1998)
One word: TERRIBLE
this is THE most awful film I have ever seen. Why? One: The story is all messed up. It started out nice, but as it reached toward the main part it became repeative and predictable. The ending was pointless and without any conclusion. Two: Bad acting. The characters' expressions are dull and mundane. Three: Boring. Ok, maybe the special effects are good, but the entire movie was practically repeating itself over and over again. It is so boring you will wonder whether the scenes with the mummy in it are exciting or not. if you see this in any video/LD/DVD shop, stay far, far, away from it.
The Hunted (1995)
Really violent ninja film
This movie is about a man who arrives at Japan but later gets involved in a woman's assassination, and is marked for death when he lives to see the ninja leader's face. He later teams up with a rival japanese team who try to protect him because he is the only man to live to see the leader's face. The movie has some scenes of bad acting, but on the overall it was pretty o.k., because of the good fight scenes and the tension you feel. You'll ask yourself questions like "will he die, will he live?" as the story unfolds. The fight scenes are extremely gory and sadistic, like when a guy gets shot through the neck with an arrow, or when a ninja gets impaled in the head by a sword, and when a train turns into a massive charnel house with blood and intestines splattered all over the floor. If you don't have a strong stomach, don't watch this movie.