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carrowsboy
Reviews
Firefly (2002)
B-O-R-I-N-G
What utter crap. Bland & boring and a total waste of time. Most think Joss Whedon is a genius, but I think he is pretty much hit or miss. Buffy was great the first few years but went down the toilet since its move to UPN. Angel, on the other hand, is sheer brilliance. Excellent characters, excitement, fantastic action, a linked plot, deep revelations...probably the BEST show on TV now. Firefly was just a bore. Dirty westerns trying to be sci-fi don't do it for me. And the cast was just plain annoying.
A Place to Call Home (1987)
She swings a dying lamb over head!
saw this earlier & could not stop laughing! Linda Lavin swings a sheep over head and lets go of it! It nearly flies into the barn wall but her ugly son catches it mid-air. What a hoot!
Overall it is a pretty good TV movie. Lavin gives good accent but the children are annoying. I'd tend to think she'd be a little wider in the hips after delivering ELEVEN kids. Yikes!
Bob Roberts (1992)
Wildly Prophetic
If this had not been from 1992, I would have guessed it a take on the 2000 election & pre-cursor to everything that has gone wrong with this country since. The media in Bob Roberts (just like in reality) turns a blind eye when the real issues are concerned and shills follow their corporate masters. Great cameo by Susan Sarandon as a vapid newsroom anchor.
Birds of Prey (2002)
Great idea, poor execution
I was really excited about this show and then it just ended up being a huge bore. When I initially heard that Sherilyn Fenn was going to portray Harley Quinn, I was excited. Then I found out they replaced her with Ferris Bueller's girlfriend, UGH! But I was shocked. Mia Sara ended up being the highlight of this show and really made you love her evil, campy ways. Oracle, Dina Meyer was great too...but the rest of the cast just plain sucked. Huntress's main "meta" powers consisted of collagen injections and the blond couldn't act her way out of a wet paper bag. The cop was just plain unnecessary and you can tell they thought'd they be scandalous by making it an interracial relationship. Now onto the storyline...BORING. Every villian looked like a two-bit gangster. HELLO?!?! This is Batman people. The best part is the villians and their costumes/gimmicks. The producers really screwed up in this area. Helena/Huntress wore no mask, hence no "secret identity" and no stakes involved. I'm sure The Penguin could just waddle into the bar and say "hey Huntress...pour me a Tom Collins..oh and by the way I'm going to kill you." Stupid. Also I guess in the future everyone knows Bruce Wayne is Batman. WTF??? Harley Quinn wore no costume, except the final episode, and even then it was stupid. No make-up, just a red spandex top she could have picked up at Mervyn's along with a skirt??? And since when can she fly? Clayface popped up too. But his huge menacing figure was replaced by bad Rite-Aid Halloween make-up and a token accent. This show really could have benefited by Poison Ivy rolling into town and having a few laughs with Harley, or maybe have Scarecrow escape from Arkham and inject fear into Oracle and her getting shot. Or perhaps Catwoman would've came back (she had 9 lives in the movie) and reunite with Huntress to kick Joker & Harley's ass. But alas none of this will ever happen since the producers dropped the ball and completely wasted a great opportunity. But what can you expect from the WB. As of now the WB (or Weak B@st@rds as I like to call them) are on the fence with whether or not to bring back Angel (one of the greatest TV shows of all time) for a fifth season. If that gets cancelled too you can bet the WB will not air at my house anymore. All they care about anyways is selling music/products in a TV show like with Dawson's Crap, Smellville, Gilmore Whores or Everwood (yawn). What cheap, hack amateurs!
The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy (2000)
Horrible dreck
I'm watching this for the 1st time & cannot believe how awful it is! Can't American filmmakers turn out at one least decent gay film??? Can they not bother to rent Get Real, Beautiful Thing, etc???
They should have just called this film "How To Be A Professional Gay In 5 Easy/Cliched Steps."
This film was nothing but cliche after cliche. Seeing the old man in bad drag was nothing but embarassing, the unnecessary drug overdose, film referencing to the point of obnoxiousness, a completely horrible score with bad renditions of Carpenter songs (for pete's sake, USE the Karen vocals, not some cheap knockoff!).
If I remember correctly the actors were practically all homophobes and did nothing but trash gay lifestyles while trying to promote the film. Why did they even bother???
Also... Why do they each keep calling each other "hag"? It is so annoying!
Fag hag? But isn't that a straight woman..not a gay man??? Poor writing, poor direction, poor film. 1/2 star out of 4 (and that is only for Zach Braff).
MADtv (1995)
HILARIOUS!!!
I can't believe some people prefer the awful SNL to this show. MADtv is a laugh riot! The cast consists of some of THE best comedic sketch actors ever assembled. Debra Wilson deserves an Emmy! Mo Collins is brilliant as Larianne Swanson (clearing her throat) & Alex Borstein kicks a-s as Ms. Swan! I was sad to see Nicole Sullivan leave, but Stephnie Weir is a fabulous replacement! Will Sasso & Aries Spears (as Isabel Sanford) round out a great cast. I have to say the only drag on this show is Michael McDonald. He is too much of a ham & his characters are not funny in the least.
The Worst Witch (1986)
FABULOUS!!!!!!!
Halloween is my favorite time of year specifically for the reason that HBO annually aired THE WORST WITCH! I have been watching this ever since 1986 & it just gets better each time! Fairuza Balk delivers a fun performance, as does Diana Rigg as the hard-edged Mrs. Hardbroom. But the cake has to go to Charlotte Rae (in a dual role) and the undeniable Tim Curry in a cameo. Charlotte role really shines as the Evil Queen Aggie, who along with her sidekick Delilah want to take back her school that her sister (Rae again) now runs. Not for the tuition money or the prestige, but just so she can bring back her song. BEAT ON IT DELILAH! "Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf. Dropped into the bottomless gulf. Venomous vipers come to us, covered in evil, ooze & puss! So if you're filthy!(FILTHY) Smelly! (SMELLY) Evil, wicked & cruel...you'll feel right at home in my little school. My lil school..Mine Mine MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMINE! Yeah!" Tim Curry later flies in (literally) as the Grand Dragon & delivers his own effects laden production number of "Anything can happen on Halloween." I don't know which were more unbelievable, the effects or Tim Curry as a sex symbol. Oh well to each his own. Ethel Hallow is ultimate foil & delivers a performance reminiscent of Nellie Olsen from Lil House on the Praire. Be sure to check it out.
Madonna: Drowned World Tour 2001 (2001)
Hardly just a concert...
It was more like a complete sensory experience. I saw the show in DC about 2 weeks before the HBO airing & was blown away. Madonna has always taken the concert experience to a new level & this was her zenith. A lot of people complained that she did not perform her "old hits," but that is a ridiculous. This show took each song & wrapped it into a story arc all from the viewpoint of 5 different characters - Punk Rock Glam Gal, Arial Butt-Kicking Geisha, Cyber Cowgirl, Latina Goddess & Pimp Mommy. The efx were amazing...from floating on a cloud of smoke when we first see her enter the stage TO flying through the air assaulting a gang of rogue ninja TO riding a mechanical bull. She has raised the stakes of pop music once again.
Paradise Lost: The Child Murders at Robin Hood Hills (1996)
Frightening
I just go tthrough watching this & all I can say is...The Stepfather did it!!! Never have I seen a more creepy individual. First off, anyone that refers to Satan as "sloothfoot" has some definite issues. But as the film progresses you learn of his "gift" to the filmmakers & the holes in his own testimony. I have not seen the sequel but will try & rent it soon... Apparently his wife his dead now, as the last image you see of them in this film is their kissing as he says "they will kill no more babies." Gee, wonder what happened to her? He is gross & ugly too...weird shaped head & gnarly teeth. Scary, scary individual. Peopel from the South are generally frightening in their lack of common sense & judgemental "Christian" values...but this film exposes it for all it's worst. A definite emotional piece of film.
Gekijôban Poketto Monsutâ Kesshôtô no Teiô Entei (2000)
Overall great! More Team Rocket pleez...
The 3rd installment in the Pokemon series is surprisingly sweet! I'm 24years old and started watching the Pokemon videos about 7 months ago & what can I say...I'm hooked! The humor of the TV series is exceptionally well, especially that of the subversive Team Rocket! The one gripe I have had with the films is that they tend to be more action oriented & therefore lose the the fun & humoresque appeal. Also Team Rocket tends to get the shaft. They use little or no pokemon in the films...I think Weezing was in the 1st for all of 15 seconds & in 2000, Weezing & Arbok show up for about 30 more seconds. Both are absent in 3 as well as Likitung & Victreebell (love that woman's scream!) but some other Pokemon pops up as an annoyance. Meowth said it right..."Hope we get more screen time in the next movie." Overall though it was a great film...the Molly character was well developed & it is always nice to have Brock back...nice touch of having Tracey make a small cameo, too! Can't wait for Pokemon 4!
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Utter Bile!
For once I have to agree with the critics. I truly say I feel the sorriest for all those people who waited 6 weeks out of Mann's Chinese Theatre, cause they surely must have felt like they had egg on their face after watching this nightmare. OK, question #1... Why was that planet being cut off from trade? Was this ever answered? Question #2... Why is Darth Maul only in this movie for upwards of 8 minutes while Jar Jar is in practically every scene? Question #3, why does Darth Maul's make up look so bad under the lights? Including those Rite Aid devil horns that you can see molded to his head? Makes no sense. I knew when they showed up on the desert planet it would be drawn out & boring (like Ep. IV) but to have ET in at as well?!? C'mon! The only redeeming quality of this film is the score and sound effects. Ok also the gungan people, asian accent bad guys & Ewan...but only for unintentional humor
The Ex (1996)
Yancy is Awesome!
The Ex is such a great addition to the legacy of THE-movies (i.e. The Nurse, The Fiancee, The Landlady). Yancy Butler is incredible as a no nonsense nut case who will do anything to get her ex-hubby back. Best part of the movie are the great oneliners she delivers after murdering each victm.
Venom (1981)
Sssssssss!
Awesome chiller that provided the most exciting danger...TO ITS CAST! That's right folks a real black mamba was used during the filming, so the cast can thank their lucky stars no real mishaps occurred. This is without a doubt hilarious. Sterling Hayden is a retired "African safari hunter" who is enlisted to care for his young asthmatic grandson while Mums (it's British) is away. Oliver, Klaus & Co. decide to hold the child for ransom but a slip up by a miserly old aquarium keeper's wife sends the world's most lethal viper home with the wee lad as opposed to the London Institute of Toxicology where it belongs. The police soon catch on and there is a funny scene where Oliver Reed shoots a peace officer & from that point on the Black Mamba starts picking off the bad guys.
Curse of the Black Widow (1977)
Complete Camp & Lots of Fun
This movie was great! Patty Duke & Donna Mills as (fraternal) twins?!? Guess there have been stranger things...like a man-sized Black Widow spider terrorizing Los Angeles! I won't give away who the "spider woman" is but within the first 2 minutes all you have to do is hear her voice & you'll know instantly it is either her or her proper twin cousin from Brooklyn Heights! Fortunately the fx in this film are so realistic you too may even believe that 6ft spiders are made of paper mache. Of course we also get the creature-point-of-view, and since spiders have 8 eyes we see 8 victims at once. If you have the opportunity to see this, you must watch it.