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Glitter (2001)
1/10
A cultural atrocity.
8 April 2005
The thing is, this movie probably deserves a 3 instead of the one I gave it. The reason is that it's so bad, it gets you thinking. Thinking about the nature of film and music and how morons get the money to make movies etc. Also, imagine if a *good* director was instructed to make a movie this as bad as it is. (I *can* imagine it because this almost looks like a plot to ruin Mariah's career - hey wasn't her husband a bigwig that she dumped?!) I think what would happened most times is the director would see THIS cut and think: "no, no, I have to make this better, NOBODY is going to believe a movie could unintentionally be this bad." You also get a few good laughs just at how obvious and obtuse the whole thing is.

Why then, did I have it a 1? Well, I consider a big film like this turning out this horrid to be a small crime. One where the wealthy people involved should be fined. Mariah should have given her paycheck to charity - it's the only ethical thing to do given the cultural atrocity this movie represents.
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Life Without Dick (2002 Video)
Cinematic and cultural atrocity!
29 November 2003
This was one of the worst films that I've seen in ages! It doesn't know what its mood and genre is. It's about as funny as a random bus/subway conversation! Just look at the picture on the front of the video - Sarah J.P. looks like she's saying, `What the f__k am I doing in this piece of crap. She should have got her husband (a better actor, or, better at picking scripts at least) read the script again.
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Solaris (1972)
Note: how to watch/expectations.
22 June 2002
Solaris is a great movie, BUT, there are a few things you should take into consideration. First, the "slow" parts that a lot of people complain about these days are put there for a reason - try to figure out why and see if you can enjoy them. Secondly, I will admit, on first attempt, ok ok, on first and second attempt, I fell asleep, I simple watched it too late and by myself, first time on VHS, second time on DVD, the THIRD time, I got all Starbucksed up and watched it with a fellow Sci Fi fan - it was great. The bottom line is, even though I like long films that can be slow, I have been conditioned to more action these days, even in films that don't feature action. This IS relatively slow. You just have to re-set your mindset and watch it early and after a strong cup of coffee...otherwise it will make 2001 seem like Enter the Dragon.
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