the_greenflash Reviews

Cyber City Oedo 808 (1990–1991)

A 29th century take on the Dirty Dozen.

[28 February 2001]

You Know, without Lee Marvin the Dirty Dozen just wouldn't have worked. But here I think he would probably be surplus to requirements.

This is a very enjoyable fillm/series, however the version I witnessed suffered from a very irritating affectation of dubbing companys - that of inserting expletives every few words. This is normally done in an attempt to gain a higher classification and raise the films status in some way.

The film itself is rather enjoyable, several convicts recruited to fight crime etc.. etc.. the plot makes more sense than some other 'concatonated-series' films as everything has been left in and new plot clinching characters are not neglected untill the final reel.

Hours of fun. (well, just)

Operation Delta Force 3: Clear Target (1998)

A cutting critique...

[3/10 · 3 December 2000]

Delta Force ?! Delta Farce more like.

Apart from the inadequate research (US troops decked out with African rifles for a start..) and overestimates of computers in general. This was, in a word, pedestrian. The same warmed over plots and cardboard sets (WOW these atomic subs are spacious!) combined with the crack team of henchmen that aren't that crack at anything, can produce but one thing - this.

Sleeping Dogs (1997)

A Life changing experience

[1/10 · 17 August 2000]

I stand at the crossroads of life. Until I saw this film I was happy to tread the humdrum career path I had laid for myself as 2nd year computer scientist. However, somthings are inexcuiseable, and this film is one of them. My Immediate thoughts were "Someone actually paid for this!", and "Won't the pain go away ?". Later, after it had (thankfully) ended, I was struck by the timeless thought - that comes after all mediocer to Bad films - "I could do better than that!". This time it had lasting effect, I am now considering ditching CS and looking seriously at enrolling in Film school. If you are thinking about going to film school I would recommend this attrocity, as it will leave you with a warm glow - safe in the knolage that you too could have done better.

This sort of thing must be stamped out.

Dangaio, Part I (1990)

Somewhat confused...

[6/10 · 15 June 2000]

As with most Manga/Anime the plot is somewhat confused. This implementation is cut together from the last few episodes of a series. Unfortunately, the all-important first episodes that explain how the protaganists came to be on a spacecraft undergoing some form of training, are lost. In the place of an explanation we are subjected to numerous disorienting flashbacks. As with most of these Japanese animations the combatants come together to form a large robot assembled from parts, they fight accompanied by protracted screams of instruction/anguish.

The English dub that I watched was very telling of its origins. But the voice artists seem to put on almost convincing mid-Atlantic accents.

Die Hard (1988)

I like this film.

[10/10 · 13 June 2000]

There are countless reasons that I like this film. There is a wonderfully claustrophobic atmosphere this film has, more so than most thrillers set on aircraft or the 'So the killer must be one of us..' crop. The stream of quotable one liners are delivered well, even believably. The scenario is far more believable than either of the sequels, and I found myself urging on Hans and his motley crew due to their ever so cunning plan. Maybe thats just me.

If you are in the UK I would strongly recommend renting or purchasing an Uncut version. The cuts that are usually shown on terrestrial television are quite bad.

Bad Day at Black Rock (1955)

Undeservidly Under publicised

[9/10 · 6 June 2000]

A fictional detective (Maybe Poirot, maybe Holmes) once said

"I do like the countreyside. Its expance covers up a multitude of sins. Give me the metropolis anyday." (or somthing along those lines, but the point is the same) In the countryside, you are remote. In a city you are never far from human habitation, but in the remote parts you may dissaper never to be seen again.

It is this Oppresive nature of rural areas that 'Bad day at Black Rock' brings out wonderfully. It could be, if I may be so bold, Kurisawa.

M.D. Geist II (1996 Video)

Was a sequal REALLY Necessary ?

[27 May 2000]

Answer : Most Definitely NOT.

A few further questions spring to mind, such as "Is blood supposed to be that colour ? And if it is, should it really look like novelty talcum powder ?", "Is Japan really Like that ?", and "Do all fight scenes require the use of Giant robotic armour ?"

This series should be named, "Where low quality lurks", or perhaps "Most Dull Geist". Need I say more ?

Razor Blade Smile (1998)

Made for 12K and looks it too.

[4/10 · 20 May 2000]

12 Grand is the cost of a new car. A new car that Jake West now needs to escape the hordes of angry villagers desperate for his blood. Some may say this film could attract "So bad it's good" status. In my Opinion it is the proud owner of the "So bad it's Bad" label.

Strange Days (1995)

Lost in the shadow of the high grossers

[10/10 · 20 May 2000]

Sadly this film was lost behind the Bravehearts, Apollo 13s and Se7ens of 1995. It should have gained the recognition it deserved. It is far better than than most films dealing with an unlikely mcguffin such as the 'squids', central to the premise. Many other films veiw of the near future is far too 'bacofoil' and white suits (THX1138 ?) which detracts from the realism they may wish to portray.

Hawk the Slayer (1980)

Hawk the Loogie more like

[1/10 · 20 May 2000]

Can't believe this film was made in the 80's.

MAY CONTAIN SPOILER

(If you consider my vicious savaging of the SFX a spoiler)

Have you ever considered Silly String as a ground breaking special effect ? Nor had I till I saw this film. In fact I hadn't considered Hari Cari until I saw this film - It was looking a more and more appealing option every minute. I decided to keep watching, naively expecting it to get better. It didn't. Though it was twenty years ago, and we can't expect miracles from three men and a roll of duck tape, they could have put a little effort in. As for the 'plot' (I use this word in the loosest possable terms) it was just an excuse for throwing togeather a bunch of generic steriotypes and shaking violently. I can't imagine how much money it made (Lost ?) or why it wasn't seized upon by MST3K. In fact I would only recommend this film to someone with a Mike Nelson like ability to make light of the bad situation they were put in.

But the worst part, the very worst part, was the over use of soft focus. Just because so many other films of this period were filmed with some vaseline rubbed over the lens, why did they do it here ? I'll tell why, its because all the exterior shots were done in the same place.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

The Bond That Never Was

[2/10 · 20 May 2000]

Having watched most 60s spy films (even 'the agent from H.A.R.M.' !) There is one noticeable difference (apart from the lack of a good actor) from the other bond films - this is the film that failed. While taking over the world with an unlikely weapon is permissable and having a dazzling array of gadgets is defacto, this film offers none of these things. In fact Blofelts plan is more laughable than any of the other unlikely screams in the entire series. If you have ever seen an episode of the avengers, I'm sure you will agree this film is more Macnee's area of expertise. In fact I would how the 'plot' ever got as far as a storyboard let alone film.