PatrickMcGrathXI Reviews

Malone (1987)

He's EX-cop, EX-CIA, EX-plosive!

[5/10 · 18 October 2003]

As far as I am concerned Burt Reynolds is John Malone. Or is it Richard Malone? For all I care it could Karl Malone, because it would not make a lick of difference. The movie "Malone" is a laughable little piece of clap-trap born out of the unfortunate Mr. Reynolds' lowest career point; the late 80's. His movies were of low quality as was his toupee`. Today, in my opnion, he is still riding on the crest of a five year "Boogie Nights" wave. I found his Elizabeth Taylor White Diamonds commercials absolutely delightful.

"Malone" is a movie not to be entered into lightly. Like all towering achievements in the arena of bad movies, do not watch it alone. It is best experienced in groups of four where three members of the viewing audience have already seen it and the fourth only knows of it as a joke shared between the other three.

As in countless other films of low quality, "Malone" is full of ideas that sound good in theory. A government assassin overcome with an attack of conscience burns his past identity and escapes to a nowhere town in Oregon. You realize a movie is bad when it cannot help but under-develop its own story's importance, it's reason for being.

"Malone" is fun to watch for all the wrong reasons; character motivations do not hold up under scrutiny, a sense of urgency is never established, and ***SPOILER AHEAD*** the last ten minutes or so is Burt Reynolds one-by-one murdering miscellaneous henchmen and then detonating explosives. ***END OF SPOILER***

The Stuff (1985)

"No one is as dumb as I appear to be."

[5/10 · 18 October 2003]

***SPOILERS ALL AROUND***

In the midst of the 1980's mankind it self was brought to its knees all thanks to our bottomless greed and hunger for the all natural dessert whip The Stuff. America was trapped in its creamy, white grip. Thousands of civilians were eaten from the inside-out, dieing painful deaths and leaving behind grotesque, hollow shells.

Why didn't my parents know about this?? How is it that these startling events remain missing from the history books?

The facts are too sobering to deny and I refuse to keep a lid on them any longer. "The Stuff" is an end of the world horror movie that falls flat and is just plain horrible. Writer/Director Larry Cohen bit off more than he could chew while directing his fable about industrial saboteur David Rutherford. Nicknamed Mo because of his own greed and persistence, David (portrayed by Michael Moriarty) is a mumbling loner who wears boots with any outfit and always keeps the audience guessing as to whether he has any idea about what he is doing or not.

As silly as "The Stuff" is it is always full of surprises. It is surprising how serious the movie takes itself. Also surprising is how unfortunate Danny Aiello's character is, how over the top Paul Sorvino is, and how over the top Garret Morris' death scene is.

***END OF REVIEW AND END OF POSSIBLE SPOILERS***

The Last Temptation of Christ: On Location in Morocco (1988 Video)

One Of The Best On Locatioin Docus I've Seen

[10/10 · 8 October 2003]

This comes highly recommended by me if you liked "The Last Temptation Of Christ" and want to see a little of what it was like to work on the movie. I'm guessing this is a very honest representation.

Even if you firmly disagree with what "Temptation" is trying to say about Jesus and the duality of his divinity and humanity, but are willing to appreciate it as a technically well made motion picture, I would advise you to at least rent the Criterion DVD of the movie to see "Location Production Footage".

Martin Scorsese carries around a VHS camera and records glimpses of working on location to get "Temptation" completed. He beats the sun and stretches his budget.

Limbo (I) (1999)

The target audience will eat it up, if it isn't for you then it might be your new enemy.

[9/10 · 29 September 2003]

I love this movie because it is subjective. A friend of mine believes David Strathairn can not be the lead protagonist in a movie. I agree with him only in that the movie is a "regular mainstream crowd pleaser" like, oh I don't know, "Drumline" or "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me". Mr. Strathairn is better suited when he does not have to pander to a common public.

"Limbo" is like none of those movies. It would be considered slow because it does not rush it's characters. Once the credits roll, it is simply subjective film making that asks you to think a little. This is not lazy film making, it is good and necessary.