psycholemming Reviews

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

The only movie I've ever seen that was worse than Fear Dot Com

[1/10 · 15 August 2003]

I cannot find the words to express what a travesty this movie was. I like Jim Carrey and learned to read with Dr. Suess. I was forced, however, to cover my head with a pillow when being subjected to the horror that is this movie whilst on a plane. I simply could not stand it any longer. It is the the top of my "worst movies" list. What more can I say? Ted Geisel must be rolling over in his grave.

The Good Girl (2002)

What in the name of God is wrong with the critics in this country?

[3/10 · 5 February 2003]

"The Good Girl" was one of the worst movies I saw in 2002. I went to see it because I'm a fan of Jake Gyllenhall after "Donnie Darko," an excellent, offbeat little flick if ever there was one. I also usually enjoy Jennifer Aniston, but unfortunately, she seems to have fallen into the abyss of "if I squinch my face up enough, it looks like I'm having emotions" school of acting. She was bloody awful, to say the least. In fact, I feel that this could have been a decent movie had someone else been cast in her role. Its script is not strong enough to make it a good movie, but the lack of acting ability on her part truly destroys whatever good side it could have had. Jake Gyllenhall was excellent, as per usual, but neither he nor any of the other actors could save this one. And for the love of all things holy, did we really have to see Tim Blake Nelson full frontal?

Feardotcom (2002)

The worst movie I've ever seen

[1/10 · 2 September 2002]

And I've seen a lot of movies. Sometimes, it's enjoyable to watch a bad movie just for the sake of making fun of it, but in this case that doesn't apply. This movie is exploitative, plotless and awful. Unless you feel like vomiting and/or demanding your money back, don't see it. My companion and I walked out less than half way through it, no longer able to stomach the torture scenes and the constant flashing lights. Whoever made this movie or was willing to have any part in it may need to have their head examined.

Donnie Darko (2001)

The best film I've seen in awhile

[10/10 · 15 June 2002]

I've recently been getting so sick of films that bore me. I'm honestly not that tough of a critic -- all a film has to do for me to like it is entertain me. I suppose I've gotten to the point where the puerile crap that Hollywood churns out can no longer even amuse me.

Enter Donnie Darko.

I'd seen the trailer awhile back and it looked wonderfully bizarre, but it never came to the theatres in my hometown. I forgot about it until I saw it on the DVD shelf in the video store yesterday. And wow, am I glad I rented it.

I was entertained -- my minimum requirement -- from the very start. Donnie, as played by Gyllenhall, is amazing. He's an apparent nut case who doesn't take his meds -- and we all know it from the very start. Donnie's adventures in the 28 days after a freak accident in his house are surreal and to put it lightly, trippy. It's funny, touching and unreal.

I do agree with a previous reviewer that if you don't relate to Donnie, you won't like the movie. I do feel that most people have something in common with him, however, unlikely as it may seem, and I hope that people will give this movie a chance.

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)

A major surprise!

[9/10 · 25 May 2002]

I despised Star Wars and the Empire Strikes Back, felt mild amusement with Return of the Jedi and walked out of the theatre during the Phantom Menace. So, it was most unhappily that I was dragged to the theatre by my Star Wars-obsessed friends to view this latest installment.

First off, most naturally: some bad acting, even worse dialogue. However, I was totally shocked by how much good acting there was -- and for once, how I enjoyed the story. Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman have great chemistry, unlike Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher in the first (or second, whatever) three installments of the series. Ewan McGregor was positively delightful -- he definitely didn't have enough screen time (does he ever?), and the Yoda scene was, well...you'll just have to see it for yourself.

How to make Star Wars really good, as opposed to a cultural phenomenon? Rewrite the dialogue in the scripts. I'm sorry, but George Lucas should never, never be allowed to write his own scripts, and I truly resent the person who started off letting him do so. He ruins his own stories with his cliched and trite dialogue. He can clearly make a great movie, as proved by this installment and in particular its sets, special effects and cinematography. Go see it, anyway -- I give it a shocking 9 out of 10.

Spider-Man (2002)

Surprisingly enjoyable

[9/10 · 6 May 2002]

This film was definite entertainment from start to finish. Although I could smell the stink of James Cameron in the dialogue (don't get me wrong, I love the guy's directing, but anyone who allows him to write dialogue should be beaten with a stick), it never failed to amuse and entertain me -- something movies haven't been doing lately. I hope Stan Lee and the legions of Spidey fans feel proud of this one; it's a keeper.

Murder by Numbers (2002)

Wasted potential

[6/10 · 23 April 2002]

I did like this movie -- but it could have been a lot better. For once the critics were right. The two teenage characters should have had a lot more time in the movie -- they haunted me after I saw it. I also felt that the explanation for Sandra Bullock's complex character was a stereotype as well as a cop-out. It was entertaining -- but it could have been moreso if the writers and producers hadn't felt the need to resolve everything with Bullock's character so cleanly.

Panic Room (2002)

I really need to stop listening to the critics

[2/10 · 2 April 2002]

This movie was just awful. Isn't the point of a thriller or suspenseful movie to, well, thrill and cause suspense? Because there wasn't a single instant of either one in this movie. The plot line was not only predictable, it was boring. The script was awful. The cinematography was good but the editing drove me insane -- what was with all the completely random fade ins and outs to black? I kept expecting commercials to appear on the movie screen. I think that the editor and director must have been trying to cause suspense with them, but that's the most juvenile way of causing suspense I've ever seen.

I feel very disappointed in both the director -- who apparently was the same director of the excellent Fight Club -- and Jodie Foster. With as grand a career as hers, she should know better than to sign herself up for a dud like this one. I was expecting to at least be entertained by this movie, and I wasn't. It was a waste of my money and my Friday night.

Gosford Park (2001)

Who else was snoring?

[2/10 · 26 March 2002]

With a boring, cliched plot and snore-worthy dialogue, I had a hard time keeping awake during this one. The acting was good, but there just wasn't much to be done with such an awful script. My jaw dropped when I found out that this horrible script had won an Academy Award. Well, obviously there's some sort of drug being passed around in the Academy for them to consider this worthy of an award.

Sexy Beast (2000)

I couldn't believe how NOT FUNNY it was!

[1/10 · 18 March 2002]

This was a terrible movie. I went to see it on the advice of practically every movie critic on the planet and once again found out why movie critics are critics and not actual members of the film industry -- they're morons. Dear God, this was the worst movie I've seen in years! There was not a single funny moment in what claimed to be a "dark comedy." No one in the audience with me laughed even once. Ben Kingsley may be a great actor but his job here was mediocre at best; of course, what CAN he do with such a terrible written character? The rest of the cast was laughable but certainly not funny. The plot was cliche, and hey film writers, guess what, adding a giant bunny to your plotline does not suddenly cause it to be not cliched! The giant bunny has been done, people!

The Others (2001)

Better in an audience full of people

[6/10 · 8 September 2001]

I liked this movie the first time I saw it, surrounded by a crowd of shrieking teenagers. The second time I saw it, in a mostly empty theater, it was boring. <shrugs> I don't know. You've gotta have people screaming around you to be able to enjoy it.

High Fidelity (2000)

Oh, please gag me!

[1/10 · 21 February 2001]

I think everyone has been brainwashed by the idiotic movie critics. This movie stank. It stunk. It *sucked*. I couldn't believe I wasted eight dollars to watch a 35-year-old whine about his own immaturity. You know what? I can walk into any Starbucks cafe and hear that for free. It wasn't funny, unless you consider crying over your own spilt milk a funny thing. Thanks for nothing, movie critics. Next time I'll listen to my own intuition and avoid anything you say is "great."

Undercover Blues (1993)

Aw, come on!

[22 January 2001]

5.3? This movie deserves better! What on earth is wrong with a movie that's unbelievably funny and doesn't use fart jokes? I mean, that scene with the crocodiles...I just about died laughing! Grow a sense of humor, people! Just because a movie doesn't have some ingenious plot line doesn't mean it can't be worthwhile. This movie is great.

O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)

Wow!

[10/10 · 13 January 2001]

I went into this movie not expecting much, but I was very, very surprised. This is an excellent movie, hysterically funny in some areas yet managing to clearly get its message across. And to those critics who complained about this movie being "too simple for the Coen brothers," get over yourselves! This is a great movie, and apparently you can't appreciate the simplicity that can be found in the craft that you failed at and therefore, critique.

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

Is there a zero option in that voting menu?

[1/10 · 13 January 2001]

Is there? Because if there is, I want to see it. I went to see this movie because all my friends told me that it would scare me. I've never been even remotely frightened by a movie before. This movie didn't even come close to scaring me. It was so unbelievably asinine and stupid that I can't believe it even got picked up for distribution, much less called "great". I can't believe it made the amount of money it did. I should have demanded a refund. Let's put it this way -- if I took a few of my friends into the woods, with a video camera, and made scary noises at them so that they could pretend to scream, it would undoubtedly be scarier and superior to this movie. I'm sorry, but those "blair witch" noises sounded exactly like someone playing a prank on them. A waste of my $7.

Proof of Life (2000)

CASABLANCA IN THE JUNGLE

[10/10 · 21 December 2000]

If you like Casablanca, see this movie. If you like Russell Crowe (the man is a GOD) , see this movie. If you like Meg Ryan's romantic comedies, don't bother, because a romantic comedy this ain't. As a matter of fact, I normally despise Meg Ryan and everything she's been in, but I liked her in this movie. I thought that she did a realistic job as a wife on the verge of separation who suddenly finds out her husband could be killed at any time. I also loved Russell Crowe as the man who realizes his conscience is more important than money, and that sometimes you just have to give up certain things. 10 out of 10!

What Women Want (2000)

Could have been great

[6/10 · 21 December 2000]

The first hour of this movie was hysterically funny. I laughed so hard I cried. The fact that he couldn't comprehend what women thought about him without practically losing his mind was hilarious. But when you try to take a good funny flick like this and make it into a moral tale about how all men should be good to women (and how many are going to listen? hmmm?) WOMEN know that already, and that's the target audience of this movie. It gets boring after the first hour, and I'm just warning you. If you worship Mel Gibson, you'll probably enjoy this movie. If not, avoid it.

Proof of Life (2000)

Wow...amazing.

[10/10 · 9 December 2000]

I think this will tie or even beat Gladiator and L.A. Confidential as my favorite Crowe movie ever. Ordinarily, I despise Meg Ryan with a passion, but she did an admirable job of acting in this movie and even managed to not annoy me. I almost rooted for her. But the thing that makes this movie great is that what the characters do is RIGHT...as opposed to your ordinary movie, where they just do what they want. The characters (with the exceptions of the terrorists, of course) are all good people in a bad time. 10 out of 10 from me.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966 TV Movie)

Children + Adults = Great

[10/10 · 3 October 2000]

I have watched this little movie several times each Christmas since--well, since I was born. And I've never stopped loving it. What better review can I give? Whereas most of the Dr. Suess movies out there are execrable, this is delightful. And, honestly, I love it.

Rough Magic (1995)

RUSSELL CROWE

[9/10 · 1 August 2000]

Russell Crowe is the only good thing about this movie. Of course, any movie with him in it is watchable. This movie was saved from the terrible performances of the other actors (including Bridget Fonda who is generally a very good actress) by the mere presence of Crowe, who, as always, was fantastic. Can we give him an Oscar for every movie he's been in, please? Pretty please?

L.A. Confidential (1997)

Kept me guessing

[10/10 · 31 July 2000]

As a general rule I guess the endings of mystery/suspense movies well before the end, which is why I don't like them. But I rented this because of the very handsome and capable Russell Crowe, and was impressed by all the actors and actresses in the movie, including Kim Basinger, who has come a long way, and Kevin Spacey, who is amazing in everything (though I will always see him as Lester Burnham). I didn't even begin to guess the villain until he was revealed and was very surprised. I would highly recommend this movie to anyone, even mystery-haters like myself.

Run Lola Run (1998)

Makes you want to get up and run

[10/10 · 14 July 2000]

This film took my breath away. When it ended (despite it being 1 AM) I wanted to get up and run around the room. You don't need to understand German to enjoy this film; in fact, it would probably be enjoyable even without the subtitles. Words aren't necessary to convey the characters' emotions. This film was robbed of its Best Foreign Film Oscar. I saw both All About My Mother, and this movie, and this was by far the best. I believe this movie must have been too much on the action side for the Academy voters, or else they surely would have recognized its sheer genius.

American Beauty (1999)

An exquisitely beautiful movie

[10/10 · 12 July 2000]

Before I saw this movie, I couldn't really classify any particular movie as my own personal favorite. No one movie ever struck a chord in me, allowing me to relate to it and marvel at it at the same time. American Beauty did both those things. I know the characters--they are my neighbors, my friends, my relatives. They are normal people in unusual circumstances. And they brought tears to my eyes.

I cannot end this review without mentioning Kevin Spacey, who basically makes the movie, all by himself. I cannot say enough fantastic things about his performance. Suffice it to say that though I believed at first that Denzel Washington should win the Oscar after being cheated at Malcolm X, after seeing this movie, I changed my mind. Kevin Spacey's Academy Award was one of the most-deserved that I have seen in years.

Out of Sight (1998)

Fantastic Cast and a Memorable Movie

[10/10 · 12 July 2000]

This is one of the best movies I have seen in years. Whenever I see it listed as a box-office failure, I feel disbelief. How could such a wonderful movie do so badly? Jennifer Lopez, George Clooney, Ving Rhames, Catherine Keener and everyone else are perfectly cast and perform admirably. After reading the book, I can still not imagine anyone but George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez in the lead roles. Unlike Clooney's latest effort, this movie earns a 10 in my book for having everything a movie should offer-an interesting story, great dialogue, great acting, and a great ending. If you haven't seen this movie, rent it now.

The Perfect Storm (2000)

Can we say characterization?

[1/10 · 10 July 2000]

I went to this movie believing I would really enjoy it, having heard it described as a disaster movie with heart. Sure, it was a disaster movie--the storm practically made me seasick--but it had no heart. The only characters given the slightest hint of development were Mark Wahlberg and Diane Lane's, and even then only in passing. Was I supposed to care about them? I think I would have felt more had I read the headline "Fishermen Die at Sea" in the newspaper. This movie could have sailed beautifully, especially with fine actors like George Clooney and Diane Lane (both of whom have proved their acting prowess in other pictures), but instead it sank like a stone.