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Reviews
The Newlydeads (1988)
Drink a six-pack before viewing
(Apologies for any spoilers)
One of the most unintentionally hilarious "horror" movies I've seen. Would have to consider the direction pure genius except I'm 99% sure this was meant to be scary, frightening, disturbing, etc.
The so-called plot involves a lecherous newlywed-hotel owner and his dark past. He killed a transvestite fifteen years ago and for some reason (never, ever clear) s/he is back and mad. Granted, the hotel owner's reasons for killing the transvestite were a tad on the sketchy side, ( a simple "no thank you" would have sufficed) but I don't think that warranted the killing spree that ensues. Logic would dictate the transvestite coming back from the grave and getting revenge on the owner, (who looks and acts like a retired porn star) but of course logic doesn't have a role in this turkey.
Rather, the transvestite kills client after client of the owner in scenes that are as poorly acted as they are filmed. There is simply no reason to kill more than half of the victims. The camera tricks used throughout the murder scenes are strictly junior high level and the editing will leave you asking, "What just happened?" more than a few times.
The highlights of this film are, while few and far between, enough of a reason to watch through to the end. Greatly laughable sequences involve a saw blade decapitation and a woman who is impaled on a tree somehow, as if she flung herself at it or something. Again, never clear. Does the transvestite control the forest too? Also, an excellent drunken priest guy who clearly understood the role he was to play. The only performance I enjoyed the way the director probably meant it to be enjoyed. Did I mention the psychic? Or the British punk rockers? Or the ending, which is on my top five list of all time worst?
Having reread all that, I'd just like to point out that I personally love movies like this, the lazy, desperately unimaginative, who gives a good crap kind of horror film. Apply liberal lubrication (get at least a case if you are not alone) and enjoy. On the copy I saw there was a preview for the movie Epitaph, definitely watch that too.