Paolo_UK Reviews

Julieta (2016)

Style but no substance

[4/10 · 2 November 2016]

This feels like a very long and dull 'lifestyle' video, all bold colours, modern art, 'AirBnB' flats, 'Visit Spain' locations, Instagrammable clothes and nice (but not very original) shots. And past the style there is almost no substance. The script is bad, illogical, not believable and formulaic with more phoney coincidences than in a telenovela. The acting is stiff and cold with characters that do not inspire any feelings. 30 years as lovers, mothers, daughters, friends and they do not seem to share anything at all other than their very nice flats and houses? Compared to some previous Almodovar movies this feels like a dull visual exercise with no passion, no humour and very few ideas.

Exit Through the Gift Shop (2010)

Irritating, pretentious, boring

[5/10 · 9 March 2012]

This is a pointless and irritating mockumentary about nothing. All revolves around the most annoying, pretentious, vacuous French men in the world; a talentless guy with a grating accent doing nothing and talking forever without saying anything at all.

Yes, I do get the satire on the world of contemporary art, but the 10 final minutes are more than enough (and I wish they were a bit meaner) and the previous 70 minutes are just very, very boring.

Bansky's art is often great, but he should really stick to his guns and remain completely anonymous and invisible. If this movie shows his real personality he is just another snob East London twit

Dans Paris (2006)

Dull stereotypes and bumper sticker philosophy

[5/10 · 3 January 2010]

This movie is very, very dull. I think for a movie that deals with loss, love, families and death it is incredibly cold and not involving with standard acting and too much irrelevant dialogue. I can not understand other comments about deep philosophical meaning and original approach - it is not a Hollywood rom-com, but it is very very shallow and banal (love ends, families are families, honest talking is difficult). There are a few moments that are just irritating and pointless (the song over the telephone, jumping in the Seine, successfully chatting up girls in the street)

It is not a good movie and it is not a bad one - it is just very forgettable

Quo Vadis, Baby? (2005)

OK - but all the typical Italian movies bad things

[6/10 · 13 May 2006]

The movie is OK, with some good parts and a few brilliant ideas. To me, Salvatores movies are sometimes great, often OK and a few times bad. The main characteristic of this one is that it is like a manual of all the common errors, horrors and annoying things of recent Italian movies. The story starts quite well and the characters seem interesting, but it turns banal and predictable with a lot of unbelievable and uber fake situations. The movie is set in Bologna and NONE of the characters has the tiniest accent from Bologna (BTW - one of the greatest accent in Italy) -the two sisters have definite different accents, one from Rome and one from Milan As usual the actors speak in actor's school Italian (why Italian directors cant put real everyday Italian dialogue in movies??) Location are great for cinematic purposes - Bologna city center with its covered passages and Old Rome with the river and the old cobbled streets, but no middle aged stripper, or aspiring actress, or shabby private detective could afford that (why Italian directors can't show us real contemporary Italy??) And what about the brand new, sparkling clean café' kiosk right in the middle of an abandoned factory ?? And the far too many irrelevant references to all those old movies ?? And the director's trademark marijuana smoking - so annoying

I think Salvatores should decide whether he wants to do nice, joyful movies like Mediterraneo or more real and tough movies about real and tough contemporary Italy like Io non ho paura, because every time he tries something in the middle results are disappointing

Remember Me, My Love (2003)

Muccino Again

[6/10 · 18 October 2004]

I am not a big fan of Muccino, and this movie didn't change my opinion. What I don't like is the ambiance and the social setting of his movies -it is too often the same Roman middle class, kind of leftist, ordinary people and the same Roman settings that probably reflect his life, family and friends, it looks like Muccino can not direct a movie with different stories, people and situations. This one is full of stereotypes and quite predictable - it is still a nice movie, with some good acting and dialogues, but there is nothing really new. Laura Morante and Gabriele Lavia are good, and when they are on screen together the movie is worth watching. The other actors are OK, but nothing really memorable. The happy (?) ending is definitely meaningless

Down with Love (2003)

Funny and light

[7/10 · 23 February 2004]

As other IMDB users wrote, this is just a parody of the Doris Day / Rock Hudson comedies of the early 60s - and you can't appreciate it if you're not familiar with the originals. I saw those movies and I enjoyed this parody very much. Costumes, hairdos, furniture and settings are just fabulous. The acting is good and the script is absolutely predictable, but some scenes are really great (the split screen phone call, the scenes set in Catcher apartment, the restaurant scenes in the first half). This is not a masterpiece - it is just a funny and light movie, perfect if you are looking for a funny and light winter evening

28 Days Later (2002)

The Stupid Horror Movie

[6/10 · 23 February 2004]

Thank god I borrowed and did not pay for this ! The beginning is really brilliant ( if not realistic ) and the story might turn out in a very good movie - but it doesn't. It's a zombie movie that can't decide between going serious or turning into a B movie (or a parody of a B movie). The characters are dull and stereotyped, the horror scenes are vaguely nauseous but oh-so-totally fake, the action scenes are copies of scenes we all saw too many times, the story is a nonsense. Everybody is dead and you do not see a corpse all through central London (???), civilization came to a halt and London is cleaner than ever (???), England is all quiet but Manchester is burning (???), infected people survived for 28 days (and some for other 28 days) without starving (???), Jim & friends run away from London and they choose a tunnel full of crashed cars (don't they know the city is full of bridges?)(???), Jim escapes from the soldier's fortress into the deadly infected world and they go out to kill him (???). And the supermarket scene, the horses in the countryside, the happy cottage in the hills - was this meant to be Disney meets the Living Dead ?

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

boring, stupid, deceiving

[4/10 · 13 February 2004]

Terminator is Movie History (9/10) - T2 is a great sequel (8/10) - T3 is crap (4/10) the script sucks the big (and loooooooong) car chases are boring and absurd the 'memorable quotes' are predictable and so not funny the Terminatrix is ridiculous (she runs on 24 cm heels......) this John Connor couldn't lead dead ants - and he's supposed to lead humanity ? the whole movie is just special effects with no plot and no emotions

a great thank you to all Calfornians for making Schwarzy governor and sparing us from T4

I'm Not Scared (2003)

Children, Adults, Southern Italy

[8/10 · 9 November 2003]

I'm not a big fan of Salvatores, he did some good movies that tend to be very similar but I think when he steps out his usual pattern he tends to be mediocre. This movie changed it all - it is absolutely great ! The film is about ten year old Michele living with his family in rural Southern Italy. While searching for his mother's glasses he finds ten year old Filippo imprisoned in a cave, and while they develop a sort of friendship Michele discovers the violent, cruel and corrupt world of adults. The children are astonishing and true and probably nobody ever captured the beauty of Italian countryside in such a direct, non-postcard and poetic way

The Dreamers (2003)

Good and interesting - but Bertolucci did better

[7/10 · 7 November 2003]

The Dreamers is a good and interesting movie that can be appreciated in many different ways. A story of the coming-of-age of an American boy, a story about love and attraction, a story about being young in 1968 Paris, a story about positive uncorrupted America versus intellectual and cynical France, and most of all a story on the contrast between private dreams and public dreams at the height of Europe's sixties students revolution. I think Bertolucci tried to put too many things in the movie and some aren't fully developed - great acting though. To be carefully avoided by all of our European 1968 nostalgics - your golden age is just a background to the story, and not THE STORY

Monsieur Ibrahim (2003)

Nice Cheerful Little French Movie

[7/10 · 26 October 2003]

I went to see the movie after reading very good reviews during last Venice Film Festival. It was generally described as a fairytale about tolerance and friendship - ant that's what it is. A fairytale Paris quarter, with fairytale 'putaines', a wise middle aged shopkeeper, a smart teenager - everyday life goes on with a little happiness, a little tragedy, nice period music, simple happy philosophy. The second half of the movie goes on-the-road - in a fairytale Turkey, though definitely more realistic than Paris. Omar Sharif is good, and Pierre Boulanger is even better. This film is perfect to spend a cheerful evening and it is a little joyful lesson on religious tolerance and friendship.

From Hell (2001)

Clean, boring, unbelievable Jack the Ripper fantasia

[5/10 · 1 May 2002]

Too clean, too perfect, too modern, too romantic with standard, innocuous acting and direction. It seems like the Hughes brothers couldn't decide between historic reconstruction, blood soaked thriller, weird romance, and hell, so we get a little piece of everything, but nothing real good or convincing. What I particularly disliked are the tourist postcard Whitechapel, the totally unbelievable freemasons+old queen conspiracy, the stereotyped white-old-bad-englishmen, the nice and literate (and fake!!!) street hooker Mary Kelly, not to mention the Disney Ireland at the end. The subject is perversely fascinating, but this is not the way to exploit it.

Planet of the Apes (2001)

Junk Movie of the Year - 2001

[22 March 2002]

What a piece of crap!. This is (one of) the most boring remakes ever done. I love the old ones - low-tech, original, ingenuous and totally entertaining. This remake with its millions-of-billions-of-bucks make-up, and costumes, and toys, and tricks, and whole armies of extras, couldn't give me a single emotion - boring, senseless, cold, with a disconnected plot and no acting at all. It's a long dèja-vu, with ideas taken from nearly any sci-fi movies of the last 30 years - Mad Max lost tribes in the desert, Space Odyssey mother-ship, trip-through-the-unknown and white uniforms, Empire Strikes Back ship-through-the-jungle-into-the-swamp etc. etc. - not to mention the J.Lo-video-meets-Tarzan jungle settings, Raquel Welch 'One Million Years B.C.' lookalike Estella Warren, Gladiator style military camp and battle scenes. Wahlberg is wasted, Bonham Carter dreadful and everyone else insignificant. And the ending - can anyone try to explain me what is that supposed to mean? United Apes of America ??? Charlton Heston where are you ?

Monsoon Wedding (2001)

Happy India

[8/10 · 25 January 2002]

This movie is full of joy. Happy, cheerful, with so many characters, and most of them good, interesting ones. It is the story of a wedding in upper class Delhi. A large family spread all over the world reunites for the big event and all the ties and feelings between siblings, cousins, parents, friends are shown and expressed in a light but touching way. Love, friendship, envy, pain, sorrow, loneliness, passion and hope in a nearly perfect mix. This movie is full of colours and music, and it is an accurate portrait of modern India (the wealthier part of it at least). All actors are good, and some of them are gorgeous too. Very refreshing as there are no super stars, no blood, no perfect special effects, no sex. Mira Nair you are great ! Hope you'll give us many other movies this good.

Ocean's Eleven (2001)

Nice cover of the same old story

[7/10 · 25 January 2002]

Ocean's Eleven is a cover of a story we've all seen a billion times. A bunch of gentle, smart, mostly good looking thieves robs the world's safest safe in the world's brightest city. A stars parade like few other, with an intricate and highly unrealistic plot, with far too many details and characters. I think director Steve Soderbergh and the cast can't fully control so much, and everything turns out as entertaining and light, but dull and easily forgotten. This is perfect if you want to spend a couple of hours in a pleasant, relaxing way. Pitt, Clooney, and Gould look like they had lots of fun, all the other actors are a bit suffocated by the story.

The Last Kiss (2001)

Generation X in Italia

[7/10 · 5 January 2002]

This was acclaimed as one of the 'masterpieces' of last year's Italian cinema. I do not think so. It's true that it is a realistic and honest portrait of generation X in Italy, with all their (our) contradictions, feelings, dreams and lifestyles, but the movie in itself is just nice, not good. Acting is reduced to shouting, running around, launching mobile phones and shouting again, nearly every time there is a conversation background music starts (that might be the reason why they scream that much!), and as in most Italian movies locations are quite improbable. A special mention goes to Martina Stella - really great, and the only character absolutely worth saving in the whole movie, and Sabrina Impacciatore - she really put her heart in this role !