Whenever you buy a video for £2.50 from a supermarket bargain bin, you have to manage your expectations. The poor reviews of this wannabe blockbuster and franchise had already done that to a certain extent, but Hugh Jackman is usually good value as a leading man and Kate Beckinsale is one of the most attractive leading ladies of the current box office.
The first few lines of dialogue confirm that this film is a stinker. Clichéd without being amusing, this is an homage to nothing but bad film-making. Where The Mummy series romped, Sommers' offering stumbles like a newborn deer. With a silver stake through its torso.
So, let's look for another source of entertainment - focus on the visuals that all that money must have gone into. Sorry. Boooring CGI fill every scene. Never has so much mood lighting produced so little mood. Any chance of a consistent, believable (given the subject matter) plot? Nope. Van Helsing ranks alongside Troy as the most infamous butcher of source material in the history of cinema.
The final nail in the coffin? Kate Beckinsale wears a top for most of the film that makes it look like her breasts are bleeding. It must have been an ironic in-joke.
For £2.50 I could have bought some watercress and watched it grow. I'll know better for next time.
The first few lines of dialogue confirm that this film is a stinker. Clichéd without being amusing, this is an homage to nothing but bad film-making. Where The Mummy series romped, Sommers' offering stumbles like a newborn deer. With a silver stake through its torso.
So, let's look for another source of entertainment - focus on the visuals that all that money must have gone into. Sorry. Boooring CGI fill every scene. Never has so much mood lighting produced so little mood. Any chance of a consistent, believable (given the subject matter) plot? Nope. Van Helsing ranks alongside Troy as the most infamous butcher of source material in the history of cinema.
The final nail in the coffin? Kate Beckinsale wears a top for most of the film that makes it look like her breasts are bleeding. It must have been an ironic in-joke.
For £2.50 I could have bought some watercress and watched it grow. I'll know better for next time.
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