Bastard Out of Carolina Reviews

Van Helsing (2004)

It's Just Camp

[6/10 · 11 January 2005]

I'm really baffled at the hateful negative response to this film. No it's not Oscar material, it's just good campy fun. If you're a fan of old monster movies, James Bond and Indiana Jones flicks, and over-the-top humor in an action/horror movie, then you get it. I guess if you're looking for a summer action flick that takes itself too seriously, then you're out of luck with this one.

I admit that the film runs a little to long, the chemistry between Beckinsale and Jackman leaves something to be desired, and the Frankenstein "monster" (though well-intentioned to give a nod to "Young Frankenstein") is really annoying. But the entertainment spawning from the hokey fun that "Van Helsing" is all about, makes these flaws so forgivable.

For me, I'll take the over-acting screaming Brides of Dracula, the silly homages to dozens of classic action and horror movies, the cheesy one-liners, and the not-so-convincing special effects. Isn't that what monster movies are all about?

Slaughterhouse-Five (1972)

Don't see this if you haven't read the book.

[6/10 · 12 July 2001]

I read the book about a year ago, and decided to try and relive the book by watching the movie. The movie does a decent job following the action of the movie, but ultimately fails at the idea behind the book. Instead the movie is simply a series of action correlating with the book. I cannot stress enough, "ONLY THOSE WHO HAVE READ THE BOOK SHOULD BOTHER WITH THE MOVIE." The movie provides good visual aide for re-experiencing the book, but will only ruin your will to read the book if you try to watch the movie before reading.

Joe the King (1999)

Remember that kid at school that was dressed like a bum and was always in trouble?

[9/10 · 2 January 2001]

I remember a kid at my elementary school named Anthony. He was a quiet kid, kind of dumb, or lazy. He wore thrift store clothes and reeked of cigarette smoke. One time this kid stole my jacket and was wearing it a few days later at school. He'd crossed my name and address out of the inside tag. I think he got suspended for it. After watching this movie and thinking back, I'd wished I'd let him keep it. This film is hauntingly realistic of those kids in school who weren't like the rest of us. What we didn't know at the time about these kids, were that they came from lousy homes; their parents weren't much of parents, and they really had no way of knowing right from wrong. The movie was quite thought provoking, bringing me back to my elementary and middle school days, and finally gave me empathy for Anthony. God only knows where he is now.

Waking the Dead (2000)

This movie is surely one of the most unappreciated films of the year.

[8/10 · 2 January 2001]

Like many other films of its type, this film was unappreciated at the box office and by many critics. Not only does Keith Gordon have a bright future, but the extraordinary Billy Crudup is one of the best young actors in film today. I only hope that "Almost Famous" will give him the appreciation he deserves.

A Hard Day's Night (1964)

This movie exemplifies why the Beatles are the best musical performers of the century.

[9/10 · 2 January 2001]

This movie exemplifies why the Beatles are the best musical performers of the century. The film was put together in a few months, yet the music and the film itself are still incredible. Ten times better than any "Monkees" episode could ever hope to be, the film includes some Beatles classics as well as a glimpse into the wit of the performers (especially John.) While the movie may be cheesy, maybe even cliche, it won me over with its innocence, and of course the music.