Oh, the ratings & reviews on IMDB of 'African Queen' (1951)... the ratings are so artificially inflated... some of the written reviews are utter poppycock...
When you watch this film in the 2020's, it's obviously not as good as these reviewers are claiming. But, all of those inflated ratings aren't really for THIS movie, so much as they are a statement about cultural standards. I'm going to write a review of 'African Queen' (1951) - but first, I'm going to review a particular group that I like to call 'The Olds'.
Let's start by establishing a premise - this is IMDB, not OMDB. If some of the "users of advanced age" would like to create an "Old Movie DataBase", I encourage it! But, this is a comprehensive database of ALL movies. So, if you want to "flex your old" in a movie review, try to remember that you are comparing it to every other movie ever made.
Now that we have established where we are, let's talk about 'The Olds' of IMDB. 'The Olds' have never seen a black and white movie that they haven't loved. 'The Olds' gave up on modern entertainment years ago, and refuse to acknowledge advances in filmmaking and changes in societal tastes.
Now, hold on - before I am accused of agism... you don't have to be of any particular age to be a member - there are plenty of pretentious 30 and 40-somethings that are just as close-minded and resentful of cultural progress. These 'Olds' write reviews of African Queen' (1951), giving it 8, 9, or 10 stars, and write statements like, "Katharine Hepburn is generally considered to be the greatest actress in the history of film" (an actual ******* quote from a review with 86 likes on IMDB). These 'Olds' irrationally skew the ratings higher than they should be, which diminishes the value that legitimate reviewers give to other, better films. Watching a movie as a child does not make it a good movie. Being comfortable with the race of the actors does not make a good movie. Feeling nostalgic for something doesn't mean it has relative quality. Just because a younger version of you liked a movie, doesn't mean THIS version of you SHOULD like the movie - BECAUSE HUMANS BEINGS ARE MEANT TO EVOLVE AS PEOPLE THROUGHOUT LIFE. And, choosing to like a movie and to indulge in nostalgia does not give you the right to devalue the next 70 years of culture with stupid scores and ignorant comments.
'African Queen' (1951), considering a qualitative analysis of content, was not a great movie when it was released. Neither Bogart nor Katherine Hepburn were (are) objectively attractive, and cannot hold interest as the only actors in a film. Bogart was great, but the role was terribly written. To play the role as written, Bogart's acting often looks foolish and amateurish. The location and nature footage probably looked great in 1951, but is obviously spliced in from separate film crews at separate locations (or, is possibly purchased stock footage that had nothing to do with the actual production). The issue with the location footage brings to light the biggest problem with the film - it is obviously dated. This film does not meet current social standards in depicting acceptable behavior, nor does this film meet modern standards for film quality. The dialog is terrible, the actors have no on-screen chemistry, and the story drags on and on. Hepburn is unlikable and watching this movie is torturous in the 2020's.
In summation, I have no problem with people getting old in age - I plan to do it myself, someday. But, 'Old' is also a state of mind. An individual that benefits from modern society should be embarrassed to publicly reject cultural advancements, in favor of obviously inferior childhood nostalgia. Oh yeah, and 'African Queen' (1951) is a terrible movie.
RealReview Posting Scoring Criteria:
Acting: 0.5/1 (He gyrated like a monkey. I was half-waiting for him to pull out his banana and make a mess on her face. #DirtyMonkeyBusiness );
Casting: 1/1;
Directing: 0.5/1 (There had to be something they could have done to have made Hepburn appear a little more attractive and Bogart appear a little less ridiculous.);
Story: 1/1 (I mean, I guess this was a good story... Was it? I don't really know. The rest of this production was so inferior that no story would have translated well, on-screen.);
Writing/Screenplay: 0.5/1 (Half a point is being generous.);
Total Base Score = 3.5
Modifiers (+ or -):
Standout Performances: -1 ( Katharine Hepburn was outstandingly unlikable and unattractive. Also, she sounds like a dude.);
Distractingly Poor Editing: -0.5 (Yes, it's old - but, no excuses! The great Dusty Rhodes used to say, "Don't do **** you don't know how to do!" And, then he would repeat it. There is a lesson in that statement for everyone.);
Total RealReview Rating: 2 (a very generous 2, in my opinion.)
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