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Reviews
The Meeksville Ghost (2001)
Pale Canterville imitation
This is the latest film/TV incarnation of Oscar Wilde's story, The Canterville Ghost -- and probably the worst. The only possible bit of originality was changing the site from an English castle to an American Western town, but I'll bet that had far more to do with reducing cost than exercising creativity. Despite Lesley-Ann Down's talent and experience, she wasn't convincing as a villain, or perhaps she just didn't care -- yet she was by far the best of the cast. Unlike a previous reviewer, I do not consider this the worst movie ever (my candidate for that dishonor is Attack of the Mushroom People), but must agree that this film is pretty bad.
The Mask (1994)
Cute, but one disappointment
This film was a great lot of fun. It had many cute bits, it reflected a huge amount of creativity from the entire production crew.
But there still was one big disappointment. We got to see Jim Carey wear the mask. We got to see the big mafioso wear the mask. We even got to see the dog wear the mask. How I wish we could have seen Cameron Diaz wear the mask!
Quicksand (2002)
Made-up Marines
The crew crammed an amazing number of inaccuracies into just the first 10 minutes: (1) The Corps would not assign an enlisted woman to the base of her general father. (2) Even if the officers-club bartender were a Marine, he would not have been serving drinks in uniform. (3) The enlisted woman would not have been allowed in the officers club, even in civilian clothes. (4) The enlisted woman in civilian clothes would not have been allowed to drive the jeep. (5) There would have been range personnel, not just the two senior officers, at the target range. (6) Everybody at the target range would have been wearing ear protection.
This abysmal film highlights the need for military advisers. We know that movies are fictitious stories, but they must seem plausible to be enjoyable. This film's excessive number of inaccuracies rubs our noses in the fiction, spoiling our enjoyment. There was no reason to believe that filmmakers would devote any more effort to details of the story than to details of the Marine Corps, so there was no reason to watch much more of the film.
There's more entertainment in a couple of fortune cookies.
Here on Earth (2000)
Too bad, but it misses.
This film's setup is OK: rich kid's probation is helping rebuild the restaurant his irresponsible behavior burns down. And I liked the female lead, Lee Sobieski. At various points, she reminded me of Helen Hunt, of Laura Linney, and even of Jodie Foster. But somebody in the small town would have told the rich kid that she was a cancer patient, so the big revelation scene never would have happened. Too bad, but the whole film turned out to be a Love Story knock-off.
Blue Steel (1990)
Top nominee for the Film Firearm Foulup award!
A psycho killer scribes Jamie Lee Curtis' name onto the brass shells of some cartridges, loads them into his big revolver, then blows away strangers in a park. Detectives find the empty shells, so investigate JLC. Never mind that revolvers don't eject shells as semi-auto pistols do. Never mind that detectives would have known that the shells had been planted deliberately. Never mind that people don't write their names on cartridges. Correcting this film's technical inaccuracies would destroy its whole plot. Could the reason behind such silliness be a profound misunderstanding of the phrase, "a bullet with your name on it?"
Crimes of the Heart (1986)
Is it possible to enjoy....?
Tedious story of neurotic Southern women, each of whom should be in the loony bin. Great shame, as each of the three principals is a fine actress who's done great work in other films. The movie's only virtue is providing a topic for academic discussions: Is it possible to enjoy a film if you do not like even one of the main characters?