jetskiboybze Reviews

You Don't Mess with the Zohan (2008)

OUTSTANDINGLY FUNNY WITH A DEEP MESSAGE

[9/10 · 31 January 2020]

Well, to anyone who didnt enjoy this film-Get a sense of humour! Secondly I truly believe everyone should be encouraged to watch this and see how stupid the Middle East conflict and attitude is from all perspectives. I realise that it is more complex than portrayed with all sides having an innate belief that they are in the right but the truths in this film are sadly inescapable and should be heeded by ALL The physical special effects were also outstanding. Again Sandler has managed to make comedy with serious overtones (50 first dates)

The Favourite (2018)

CAPTIVATING FILM, RUINED

[5/10 · 29 January 2020]

A great film with an outstanding cast completely ruined by the godawful soundtrack. Continuous Farting would have been better. Whoever decided this sounded good or appropriate should never work again. I would have given it at least an 8 and thoroughly enjoyed it but couldnt get past the banal soundtrack that totally ruined it for me. Saddening

Dune (2000)

Pales into insignificance!

[2/10 · 16 January 2020]

Like others I tried to like it but I'm sorry it is trash on every level- did the makers even read the book! This is woeful, the acting was pathetic from all despite there being some quality in there. There was no ambience or believability whatsoever and Pauls character was annihilated by both script and actor. This needs to be removed from the annals of scifi. Mr Lynch yours is a masterpiece in comparison even though I liked it immensely before this debacle was made. It proves you can do far better without hours more screentime.

Dune (1984)

Why the poor reviews?

[9/10 · 15 January 2020]

I personally believe that for it's time that this was a great attempt at recreating the masterpiece that was the book. With modern effects this would have been more than worthy. Even without these effects the portrayals of Thufir, Alia, Gurney and the awesome Stilgar were outstanding and made the film worth the cost alone. I await the latest rendition with baited breath but there is no way Stilgar will be bettered.

Schooled (2019–2020)

Not a Goldbergs fan

[8/10 · 8 November 2019]

I enjoy this show although not the Goldbergs (dont watch cant stand the woman) without the Coach it would not be worthwhile but he holds it all together which is lucky because the rest of the cast unfortunately bring little to the party. Would prefer if it had more than just Coach but luckily his character and acting are sufficient.

Carol's Second Act (2019–2020)

Childish codswallop

[3/10 · 1 November 2019]

Not in any way aimed at adults surely as it is several levels more childish than sponge Bob square pants. This includes the acting and writing. Whatever possessed Patricia Heaton to think this was an adequate vehicle for her talents is beyond me. As for Muad'ib he must have sunk pretty low to even consider putting his name on this. Total tosh.

The Unicorn (2019–2021)

Goggins talent totally wasted

[6/10 · 1 November 2019]

As with many other reviewers I liked Goggins excellent perfomance in a show that doesn't justify (no pun intended) his talent . I have no problem with the shows premise but overall found the "friends" interference annoying and forced. Surely the writers could have found a better way to comedically deal with the basic plotline of the show without harping continually on this interference. I will continue for Walton but certainly no other reason.

Den of Thieves (2018)

Interesting but not fully captivating

[7/10 · 31 July 2019]

I know its been said but this is not Heat although it tries very hard to be and falls short. The plot steals virtually all of its drama from Heat except for a more convoluted (and clever) heist. This doesnt make it better and like others I found that it dragged in large portions. As with Heat I liked the bad guys better than the good and in this area it scored because I hated Big Nick with a fervour. He had no redeeming qualities and even though you knew he would win out you didnt want him to because of his basic character flaws. The bad guys (excellently headed by Schreiber) were more emotionally approachable and so I hoped for a good end for them. I wish it hadnt taken so much from Heat as it was never going to be as good and would have preferred if it tried to stand on its own merits. Unlike some I thought the shootouts were less believable than they should have been with much wasted ordnance for supposedly proffessionals. In this area Heat totally blew it away. Try to watch it preHeat then see how its done. I would watch it again but am torn with the blatant theft from a better film. At least the end was a pleasant if obvious finish to an otherwise overlong affair

Whale Wars (2008– )

Conceptually fine but flawed by its actuality

[5/10 · 26 July 2019]

I fully agree with the concept of Sea Shepherd in terms of their anti whaling efforts although not with all of their interference in all spheres of marine life conservation. These efforts should for the most part be lauded whilst the International community should be condemned for their inactivity in upholding International law. However the show fails for me for the total ineptitude and over the top attitude of most of the crew. It appears that the editing is focused on stupid facial expressions and over the top platitudes and this makes me squirm literally. If it focused on genuine as it happens events and results it would be far more palatable. The crew when on camera should be more honest and less concerned with their 15 minutes of fames and attempts to get across how ridiculously green they are. This portrayal certainly dissuades me from actively supporting what is very well meant enterprise. Even the Captains and Head Honcho Paul Watson come across as morons in terms of stating the glaringly obvious solely for grandiose dramatic effect and just results in me hating them for their misguided idea that this helps their cause. It doesnt! Just try to get the job done without all the theatrical heroics and I might respect you and support you more. I would also be interested in testing their continual insistence that they would give their individual lives for a whale. As ex military I severely suspect that confronted with the actuality of this statement that their opinions might change. I have no problem with that but don't say what you aren't really willing to back up. We will hopefully never have to find out who's right on this issue.

Avengement (I) (2019)

Not Accident Man but full on action

[6/10 · 20 July 2019]

I saw Accident Man first and thought it was really good. So when I saw this I assumed it had made much earlier because Scotts acting was nowhere near as good. Imagine my surprise when I found it had been made much later and I had to wonder where his thespian ability had disappeared to. That said he certainly hasnt lost his fighting skills and used to greatly violent effect. Plot was fairly basic but got the job done. Not really on a par with other London Gangster films but a reasonable effort all the same. I will look for other Adkins films as i definitely enjoyed Accident Man and hope he can reattain that level of competence

Hellboy (2019)

Original wasn't great this is much worse

[2/10 · 20 July 2019]

I wasnt overly impressed by the original but it had a reasonable hellboy and wasnt too over the top. This one despite having a Hellboy who had more character, was totally over the top. It couldnt decide if it wanted to be serious or a comedy and achieved neither with any success. It will appeal to those who like excessive amounts of blood and gore but only those. The minotaur character was midly amusing and there was nothing wrong with the acting of the cast (slightly surprised Ian McShane lowered himself to this level) but really they had nothing to work with. In general a ridiculous film that I didnt bother watching till the end. Again whilst not great, stick with the original made earlier with less stupid cgi but much more believability. Seriously disappointing.

Captain Marvel (2019)

Enjoyable Marvel romp

[8/10 · 17 July 2019]

Nothing outstanding but worth it for the early days of Nick and Phil. The outstanding character was not Capt Marvel but Talos played by Ben Mendelssohn. I have seen him before but he hasnt stood out in his roles but in this he was the undoubted star of the film for me. Altogether engaging enjoyable romp that once you get past the attempts to tie it in with the MU stands up well as a solo escapade. I liked it but it seems to have upset a lot of the ott Marvel Brigade because it didnt rely solely on overhyped dysfunctional heroes fighting myriads of cgi enemies. (Not that I dont enjoy those too! but sometimes less is as good as more so stop with the crying)

Robin Hood (2018)

For God's sake stop ruining classics

[1/10 · 17 July 2019]

Its bad enough when Costner followed by Crowe take classics and ruin them but this one really takes the cake. Not even Jamie Fox could save it and to be honest I never expected Egerton to have any chance as he's fairly limited as an actor anyway. This was a true travesty of a film that I seriously hope does not make any money so we are not subject to a sequel. Btw after half an hour I was wondering just when exactly I was going to see the Greenwood. Never found out as I switched it off to rewatch something enjoyable. Hollywood please stop ruining classics (Richard Greene and Errol Flynn are rotating uncontrollably in their graves and justifiably so). Try and find something original that you can turn into a classic for future generations instead of disrespecting current generations with this garbage.

Mortal Engines (2018)

Thoroughly Enjoyable Romp through Steampunk

[8/10 · 15 July 2019]

Well I have two things to say straight off. Firstly is there something wrong with me? I really enjoyed this film yet apparently hardly anyone else did judging by the rating, which is pretty hard to understand given some of the highly rated high profile tosh that is out there. This is certainly on a par if not better than most of that. Secondly it was not at all what I expected from the trailers. I expected more mobile city fighting and more Mad Maxy type mayhem. That being said it was thoroughly enjoyable as a spectacle and it certainly was a spectacle. Plot was obvious but didnt detract from watchability and was actually nice to not have to figure out tons of specious plot twists Cast was good although some characters were totally unessecary and superflous to the film and some big salaries certainly could have been saved on the overall budget. Effects were visually believable in the films context and overall a visually excellent spectacle (especially liked the detail of the City "tyre" tracks). Loved the juxtaposition of old and new tech and I'm sure hardened Steampunkers must have loved it too. I hope the lack of profit doesnt dissuade the industry not to continue with this genre as I for one thoroughly enjoyed it. Still cant believe it didnt make money with Gandalf himself involved.

Alita: Battle Angel (2019)

Stupendously done

[10/10 · 14 July 2019]

I was totally amazed at finally how well this was done. Previously I had not liked this type of merging because of the unreal feel of the symbiosis and even cartoon-ness of the look. This film is so well done that I was not initally sure that it wasnt actually Rosa Salasar herself physically playing the role and only those gorgeous eyes completely gave it away. After that I just really really enjoyed the whole spectacle. Cast was excellent and nice to see Mr Waltz playing a rare nice guy for him. Ed Skrein supported well as did Jackie Earl Haley although he was a little less himself than normal, Watchmen was his finest hour so far. Didn't give it a ten because the plot was not quite up to the visuals and the ending sucked (not because of deaths but because it didnt finish) Unfortunately I don't think we'll get a proper ending in a sequel because of the money disparity between cost and gross which is a massive shame because this an outstandingly well done movie. Personally I cannot understand why it isnt a massive hit because its definitely way better than some of Marvel and Dc offerings and had it had their name up front it would have wowed the Cinematic world. Kudos to Robert Rodriguez for helping to create a masterpiece which I am sure will become a cult classic like some of his other stuff. Hopefully we may see the conclusion one day.l

Tag (I) (2018)

Jeremy what have you done?

[4/10 · 14 July 2019]

Wow what a terribly bad comedy. Premise was fine but even with a shortish run time it dragged terribly after the entire plot was explained in the first 5 minutes. The acting was bad from everyone including normally oscar worthy Renner. Altogether the worst attempt at comedy I have seen in a long time. Andy from the office was just Andy from the office showing he doesnt have much range and the rest were just as bad. I am worried about the reviewers who thought this was in any way funny. I am not particularly funny myself but if they liked this tripe I could probably sell them London Bridge while they were distracted by knock knock jokes I learned in kindergarten. Shame on you Mr Renner stick to what you are good at - Acting.

Venom (2018)

Tom Hardy Strikes again!

[8/10 · 7 July 2019]

I am trying to think of another actor who could have done this film justice and I'm struggling. Hardy is without doubt one of the best character actors of this generation and I seriously doubt that I would have enjoyed this film as much with someone else in the role (btw thought he was miscast as Bane). As to the film itself I really enjoyed it apart from two issues. Firstly the motorbike chase was great but ruined by the attack drones. I know they're in vogue and newsworthy right now but they were ott and spoiled it for me. Secondly, not enough verbal interaction between Eddie and Venom, what there was was great and I wanted more especially when Hardy is so good at delivering the split personality deal. Support cast was good, female lead hot so all in all a film I enjoyed and looking forward to rewatching and hopeful sequel. Never read the comic iteration but suspect a good job was done. Nice to see that Batman is not the only badass antihero about (C.Bales version not A.Wests lol)

Savage Builds: Building Iron Man (2019) Season 1, Episode 1

Not good enough Adam

[5/10 · 27 June 2019]

Really was not impressed Adam, basically you took an existing man flight system and dressed it up with some pretty 3d printed titanium. Not even close to even the Mk1 suit of Tony's. That one took 50cal rounds yours didnt and was no where near any type of Iron man suit. I was expecting much better from you but you just gave us someone elses achievement with window dressing. Hopefully the series will get better than this cheat.

America Says (2018– )

Could be good- should be good but isnt

[7/10 · 22 June 2019]

Three major problems with this show that really should be better than Family Feud. 1. The host is even worse than Family Feud with his unfunny attempts at wit and complete lack of charisma. 2. The prize money is pathetic and not worth embarrassing oneself for. 3. Its all about the luck of the draw in the questions. Some are ridiculously easy whilst others are too hard. I like to watch it but these three issues make it a chore to properly enjoy when the premise is actually better than FF especially without Steve Harvey and the blatant double entendres he actively uses to try and make himself appear funny.

Serenity (2005)

Shame this great film was nessecary in the first place.

[10/10 · 12 June 2019]

Didnt see Firefly till after seeing this film and hunted it down because of it so this review is about the film not the awesome series I discovered as a result. Firstly I loved the plot, not overly complicated yet nicely predictable to a pleasant happyish ending. Like others I was unhappy with certain characters demises (even more so after I watched the series) but thought unlike others that they were worthwhile in the context of the film. Where the film really scored for me was in the cast (including Serenity herself). How do you get 4 seriously hot women to play together? Morena Baccarin in this role was one of the most perfect women Ive ever seen (better than in Deadpool) and Jewel Staite wasnt far behind. As to the male contingent I thought Nathan Fillion was born for this role and he was ably supported by the others especially a hilarious Adam Baldwin as Jane. Chiwetel Ojiofor was superb as the villainous rascal fitting in nicely as the obvious new operative to the ex operative from Mals crew. Cameos were all done well. All in all a superb film that afterwards rewatching I thought did a great job of tying up the series loose ends To raters below 5 I say please get a life and try to enjoy some really nice escapism done really well. Perhaps you were paid by Fox to try and justify their abysmal Firefly cancellation decision or maybe you are just really sad no life people who enjoy trashing stuff.

Rob Roy (1995)

A late review but i hope useful to some.

[9/10 · 8 June 2019]

Firstly, I notice many comparisons to Braveheart and I dont know why. One was an attempt to portray Historical fact that was absolutely littered with massive innacuracies but was actually enjoyable to watch. The other was a film about a Scottish folk hero that made no claim to historical accuracy but merely tried to give an idea of the type of man he might have been. To me this made it a far better film. The other things that made it better were the plot, cast, scenery and endangered. The starring and support cast in this film were exceptional. Cox was his usual underated self and ably supported by Hurt and Lange. The star of the show though was undoubtedly Tim Roth whose portrayal of Archibald was without peer before and since. To anyone who says it was overdone I say "up yours! it was perfect and deserved an Oscar not just the nomination) I have always thought him to be an unappreciated talent and it irks me that he doesnt get the recognition yet one dimensional actors like Cage and Affleck do. Neeson was perfect in the role and the perfect foil to Archibald. I would also agree that the final swordfight was superb especially in its authenticity. The whole film was very well done and having lived with the Scots for fomative years of my life found it thoroughly realistic and entertaining.

Elementary: The Price of Admission (2019) Season 7, Episode 3

They are just not long enough!

[9/10 · 7 June 2019]

So sad 3 episodes are already gone and they are just not long enough for me. I love all the little clues Sherlock and Joan pick up but I need more. I love to try and use them to figure out whom that we have already met is the perpetrator (scored tonight!). And did we meet someone who got a small victory over Sherlock tonight (at least temporarily lol). Keep it coming and lets have Tom awake soon although pro temp was cool in his own way. What can replace this when it's run its course? I dont know but hope thats its half as good as this has been.

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018)

Cant think of a printable expletive to sum this up

[1/10 · 6 June 2019]

Transparency- I havent seen the first one and I wont be holding my breath till I do. ABBA made timeless classic music that did not deserve to be treated to this debacle of a musical (although Benny & Bjorn had a hand in it so they must be hard up). Some really good actors and actresses should be having sleepless nights for some time to come worrying what a dive their careers just took. I don't include Streep or Cher in this because like many I cant understand their hype- many others have far more talent yet no recognition its incomprehensible to me. Cher actually looked like she was made of plastic!. However I digress, the whole film was just pathetic and false while some actors looked in pain for what they were wearing and being asked to do. Anyone who enjoyed this kitsch fest must be easily fascinated by pretty colours and shiny things carrying microphones badly lip syncing to conveneniently titled songs. I will mind wipe this so I can continue to enjoy ABBAs music.

Gentleman Jack: Why've You Brought That? (2019) Season 1, Episode 7

ITS LOSING ME AS A VIEWER AS SLOWLY AS THE PLOT

[6/10 · 4 June 2019]

Despite my being a Lancashire man born and bred I really wanted this to be better, after all Yorkshire is the next best thing. Unfortunately its too slow paced and probably is only going to hold me to the finale (which needs to be much better after little plot up to now) and not to any future series. Surranne has been much better in other outings but seems to be trying to get by on an insipid smile. I suspect there is insufficient meat in the storyline to really do credit to the character. Writers could do a Hollywood and use a little more poetic license. This episode was saved by Some good fringe work by Gemma Craven, the maid,groom,Mr Washington and others which is as it should be but not the focus. Timothy West is wasted in his lack of real role. I hope the finale has a lot more to offer or any future offerings will be avoided which is sad because I really wanted to enjoy it more.

Man on Fire (2004)

FILMS DO NOT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS.

[10/10 · 3 June 2019]

Truly Denzels finest hour in so many ways. I am not going to dissect this film it doesnt need it as it stands alone as a masterpiece of cinema history. I will however mention that the scene with C. Walken and the head policeman absolutely sums up everything that is awesome about this film. Support cast were outstanding and they needed to be to keep pace with Denzels masterclass of acting diversity. Hated the ending but it was the only way it could have ended so even though I was sad it was right on the money although alas it killed a possible sequel. Music, cinematography, script and plot were outstanding. Truly up there with accepted cinema masterpieces.