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Reviews
1941 (1979)
Do movies get any worse?
"1941" is known for being a flop, and Steven Spielberg's only significant black mark on his resume. At least, that used to be the reputation, since thanks to sites like IMDb even every film on the bottom 100 has its share of fans...And that is exactly where "1941" should be.
This film belongs in the EXACT same company with "Ishtar" and "Hudson Hawk". It is shrill, overproduced, and obnoxious in its arrogance that it is funny. But it is not. It is an overlong, bloated, worthless piece of trash. All the positive reviews on here actually make me angry! This is literally one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Every St. Patrick's day me and my friends have a party and watch all the Leprechaun films to date (up to 6 or 7 at this point I forget). Getting that deep down the pipeline with horror films about Leprechaun's would seem about as low as films can go. But no. Even low-budget trash can be enjoyable in a fun way. But this film is no fun. It is loud, in your face, and dares you to enjoy it. Well I don't.
There are good points, but they just make the rest of the 2hr 20 min film seem even more of a drag. You have better things to do with your life than watch this move. Stay far away, please!
Bruce Almighty (2003)
Mediocre
I'd say this was Jim Carrey's worst movie if not for the existence of "The Majestic" (oh boy, now THAT's a stinker!) Actually, "Bruce Almighty" is not a bad movie, but it's so terribly mediocre that it just gets tiring. The worst thing is, the premise is fantastic and this could have been great, but of all people Tom (Patch Adams) Shadyac got the directing bid. Yes, this is the man that also helmed "Ace Ventura" and the decent "Liar Liar" but even the latter film had a tinge of syrupy wholesomeness that undermined the that film's comic premise. Basically, "Bruce Almighty" needed a little edge, and Shadyac was not the man to deliver it. What is the point of this film? What humor there is turns maudlin and dopey before we're even out of Act II. Hollywood just gets sadder and sadder. Do you know what would of made this film great? Imagine Woody Allen directing. Then at least we could've gotten a funny picture with some ballz.
The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)
Worse than bad (or better?)
Here's a rare case of a film that's not only bad, but incompetant (Only "The Avengers" comes to mind as another recent example). The fact that original director Richard Stanley was fired only days into the shoot, and that a pouting Val Kilmer was allowed to run loose pretty much self-destructed this film. It's obvious that the heavily altered script was either slapped together, written on the fly, or at the very least not well thought out. The tone of the picture changes dramatically as it progresses (especially after its relatively assured beginning) but its not until we see Val Kilmer doing a Brando impression (certainly one of the most inexplicable scenes I've ever come across) that we realize no one seems to be in control of this incoherent mess. If this was just a schlocky b-movie there wouldn't be much to consider, but given the excellent cast, a capable director, and good makeup work, the occasional bits and pieces that register with the audience just make the film see that much more disjointed. For a big-budget action picture, "Island of Dr. Moreau" is a unique experience. It isn't as much bad as a mess, a cacophony of sights and sounds lacking a coherent narrative, and occupied by two egotistical stars too caught up making their own movie in their minds to bother with what's in the abysmal script. The one positive thing that I can say of "Island of Dr. Moreau" is that it does have value as a curio. It's almost fascinating to watch what happens when a film just plain goes bad, and makes you start to take for granted witless moronic fare that at least makes a bit of sense.
Tenchi Muyô! (1992)
The best Tenchi, and my favorite anime.
Amazing. Tenchi Muyo! is quite simply, one of the best anime out there (in my opinion, THE best). Why is this? It's certainly not because of the plot, which is full of holes (try to figure out the characters ages will lead you down a path to madness), it is currently incomplete (although the third OAV is on the way!), and there are certainly a lot of other flaws that I could pick out, but this is the kind of story in which you get so wrapped up in, you don't even notice any of the problems. It's the characters that really make this show. There is a surprising amount of depth here once you get past the terminally light tone of the show. The fact is, however, Tenchi Muyo! is incredibly touching.
Basically the plot is about 17-year-old Tenchi Masaki, a young man with hidden powers who suddenly finds himself surrounded by beautiful women from all over the universe who are all in love with him! There's Ayeka, the reserved dignified Juraian princess (and her younger sister Sasami, Mihoshi the clutzy Galaxy Space Officer, Little Washu, the genius scientist, and of course Ryoko, the demon space pirate who is released from a 700 year imprisonment by Tenchi which starts the whole saga rolling. One of the shows virtues is that Tenchi never even tries to decide, and the group becomes like a family with a common interest... The character of Ryoko is what really meant the difference to me, a 2000-year-old demon who is somewhat vicious and violent, but is truly humanized in her love for Tenchi. I couldn't help but root for her, and the scene in episode 5 where she remembers watching Tenchi grow up is truly touching. I won't really go into any plot cause that's not really the point. You get into this show because its light, funny, and touching.
I can't recommend it enough.
Tenchi Muyô! (1992)
The best Tenchi, and my favorite anime.
Amazing. Tenchi Muyo! is quite simply, one of the best anime out there (in my opinion, THE best). Why is this? It's certainly not because of the plot, which is full of holes (try to figure out the characters ages will lead you down a path to madness), it is currently incomplete (although the third OAV is on the way!), and there are certainly a lot of other flaws that I could pick out, but this is the kind of story in which you get so wrapped up in, you don't even notice any of the problems. It's the characters that really make this show. There is a surprising amount of depth here once you get past the terminally light tone of the show. The fact is, however, Tenchi Muyo! is incredibly touching.
Basically the plot is about 17-year-old Tenchi Masaki, a young man with hidden powers who suddenly finds himself surrounded by beautiful women from all over the universe who are all in love with him! There's Ayeka, the reserved dignified Juraian princess (and her younger sister Sasami, Mihoshi the clutzy Galaxy Space Officer, Little Washu, the genius scientist, and of course Ryoko, the demon space pirate who is released from a 700 year imprisonment by Tenchi which starts the whole saga rolling. One of the shows virtues is that Tenchi never even tries to decide, and the group becomes like a family with a common interest... The character of Ryoko is what really meant the difference to me, a 2000-year-old demon who is somewhat vicious and violent, but is truly humanized in her love for Tenchi. I couldn't help but root for her, and the scene in episode 5 where she remembers watching Tenchi grow up is truly touching. I won't really go into any plot cause that's not really the point. You get into this show because its light, funny, and touching.
I can't recommend it enough.
Frailty (2001)
Ludicrous
It's funny, I never intend to post negative reviews here on the IMDB, but time and again I see films unworthy of praise recieving far too much. A textbook case in point is "Frailty".
Many critics praised this film, and it has a high rating on IMDB. But what makes it good exactly? Well, taken on the level as a straightforward thriller the movie is more than adequate. And if you were to classify this as a horror film, it would automatically be disintiguished by its talented cast, notable rookie director, and challenging theme. Unfortunately, the film is an utter load of ridiculous spiritual hokum?
What is the message here? It seems like a load of bull from the religious right. However, even the religious minded may reject the brutality of the message. Killing "demons" in God's name is OK? I don't understand the point of this film. Especially since although many viewers rave about the movies great "twist", it's that undisputable moment that utterly ruins the entire film.
Had "Frailty" condemned the killers, or at least been more ambigious, I would have been fine with this film. But instead, likely for the sake of that stupid "twist" and to make the film more pleasing as mass entertainment, it becomes a stupid piece of religious vigilantism.
On a technical level, solid. But as an enjoyable movie? I hated hated hated this film. Hey, they should have just changed the title so I would have known to stay away: "God wants you to kill bad people: A practical guide"
utter hogwash.
Minority Report (2002)
Curse you Spielberg! You ruined a near instant-classic!
I have a major grudge with this film.**SPOILERS** As a fan of Philip K. Dick (writer of the original story-I really hope you knew that), and a huge fan of such dark sci-fi noir classics like "Blade Runner", I was hoping for the best. A wonderful, wonderful concept, solid cast, high production values. I was really looking forward to this movie. The hype kept calling it the "Blade Runner" of the new millenium. I was there with my friends on opening day, first showing...it had been awhile since I'd seen a truly great new film....And for close to 2 hours, things were going pretty well. Maybe the film felt a little padded, and the eye transplant seen was amusing but a bit grotesque. No, the film wasn't perfect, but it was going well. ...The end is coming up (SPOILER ALERT), Anderton is soon to meet the man he's destined to kill. After all this time trying to avoid what's been predicted, nothing will stop fate. We find out the crucial motivation that would lead Anderton to do the deed (although I got a bit nervous as what they labelled the "orgy of evidence", something felt a little off here), and then its finally set to happen, Anderton will fulfill his destiny......Or will he? The movie goes and pulls a serious 180...And now I was angry. What's going on? At about two hours in, "Minority Report" self-destructs.
I just don't understand it. The POINT of the movie is the idea of whether Anderton is destined to do the crime following what is predicted. To follow the cool logic of Dick's original story (which was flawed but MADE SENSE) the answer would be "yes." If the movie had ended with Anderton pulling the trigger as predicted, I would have loved this movie. Unfortunately, that hack Spielberg doesn't understand the idea of decent storytelling, and lets his sentimental streak contrive a 30+ min denoument destroying the fabric of the rest of the film. Frankly, Spielberg has taken material I have long viewed to be of great potential for a classic film and made a film that misses the point. "Minority Report" is a wonderful technical achievement with great special effects, and solid acting, but it doesn't understand where to go. The notion of pre-crime is quite a determinist concept, and by wimping out on following through on the implications of the source material, we have a perfectly acceptable thrill-ride with no soul. As popcorn entertainment, "Minority Report" is more than adequate. But this is by no means a classic. Instead, this flawed sci-fi opus will likely go down as a sad failure, as it should to anyone who understands the underlying concepts behind a system like "pre-crime" that the movie missed. I can only hope someday someone does this material right.
Pretty Woman (1990)
Shallow and morally corrupt fluff
On one level, I enjoy "Pretty Woman". While I'm not particularly a big fan of Richard Gere or [the very overrated] Julia Roberts, their chemistry in the film is great, and the film works as a decent romantic comedy on a superficial level.
But I just can't get beyond how morrally bankrupt this film is. Characteristic of Hollywood, the much more cynical original incarnation of the script (titled "3000") attempted to really look into the our seedy values behind money and prostitution. The fact that director Garry Marshall would take such material and twist it into hollywood shlock is therefore quite depressing. The worst part is that you can still see small remnants of the films roots (especially the beginning) which has been bleached out as much as possible.
What is this film really saying? It seems like greed, not love is the real answer (the scene where Roberts gets the gift of the Credit Card makes me want to vomit).
In summary, there are a lot of appealing elements on the surface of "Pretty Woman", but the underlying subject matter is disturbing and contradictory to the film's message. While I personally think this film deserves a 1, I'll give it a 5 in a nod to all you people out there who care only about how "cute" Richard and Julia look together in this movie.
For a real romantic comedy from this period, see "Sleepless in Seattle" instead.
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
Best satire of all time?
I wanted to add comments here in response to some detractors. Truly, I see this film as almost impossible to fault. However, there are commentors here who are quick to say the the film is "not funny". I think that all depends on your expectations. "Dr. Strangelove" is satire, not straight comedy. In that sense, if you try to compare this film to something by the Farrely brothers, it just doesn't work.
I'll say it again: Satire. The greatness behind the humor here is the chilling logic behind it. What's funny about this film is how disturbing and timeless it is. A great satire makes you come away angry, because there's usually a cynical message behind it.
In fact, with our great president's dubious current inititatives to start up another arms race, "Dr. Strangelove" is once again proving its relevance.
Along with "The Player", "Dr. Strangelove" is one of the best SATIRE'S of all time. And Peter Sellers would never be better.
Disturbing Behavior (1998)
unjustly butchered decent little film...
Let me start out by saying that although I enjoyed "Disturbing Behavior", it is by nothing more than passable entertainment, at least in its original form. Unfortunately, this movie was sadly hijacked from its director and had most of its life whittled out, as about 20 minutes of essential explication and character development were expunged by a studio that no doubt was trying to sell this one as a typical teen movie to the lowest common denominator. The truth of the matter is that "Disturbing Behavior" was unfairly lumped into the post-scream self-aware horror mold, and was bunched together with drivel like the "I know what you did last summer" and "Teaching Ms. Tingle" sorts of junk. The fact that David Nutter's background has been primarily in X-File's episodes should give you some idea of where this movie's really coming from: a paranoid sci-fi suspenser, somewhat of an update on "The Stepford Wives".
From this perspective the film is interesting. It's approach is fairly original and fresh, and the acting in general is decent, with a few strong performances, mostly from the adult actors like William Sadler and Bruce Greenwood, but Nick Stahl is also excellent in the most sympathetic role in the movie. The truth of the matter is that in it's theatrical form however, this film is deeply flawed. It is superficial, lacking character development, and if glossed into a "horror" mold, not scary. Adding the missing footage to the movie (which is on the DVD. USA has also been playing the full version surprisingly) changes things substantially. Character's like William Sadler's janitor, who is a confusing enigma in the original version, is seen in greater depth, and Bruce Greenwood's villain is given an excellent scene where he essentially lies to himself about the fate of his daughter. This scene adds a great deal of depth and humanity to his character, instead of making him seem like simply some deranged doctor. Anyways, the point is, "Disturbing Behavior" is only an OK film in its original form, but that's through no fault of its own. In it's longer form, the film is interesting, and is an effective small-scale almost noir-ish classic (the much more dour ending adds a great deal of gravity to this film). Leonard Maltin called this film "teen-targeted dreck", and it's possible to view the short version of this film in that light if viewed in a cursory fashion. In the way it should have been shown, however, it has the makings of a small-scale cult film. Short version = 5/10 long version = 8/10
The Bogus Witch Project (2000)
Pauly Shore...what's happened to you?
...I never thought "Son in Law" or "In the Army Now" were classics, but they were disposably amusing trash. This however, is just plain trash. Actually, I shouldn't be hard on Pauly, as he's only in this one for about 10 minutes. As you've probably already read, "The Bogus Witch Project" is not a movie, but instead a collection of skits. And out of the 10 or so bits, 0 are funny. I repeat, 0!!! I feel stupider for having seen this movie, and an hour and a half of my life is forever wasted. I honestly cannot comprehend anyone deriving enjoyment out of this movie. Run quickly from this one, and don't look back.
The Avengers (1998)
You don't need valium if you own this movie...
"The Avenger's" has to be one of the worst movies I've ever seen. And not only is this movie bad, it is just plain incompetent. Someone has done a major hackjob on this one, and the result is a movie with severe continuity problems, and that doesn't make a bit of sense. Alas, this might be partially forgiven if any of the movie's "humor" was actually funny, or if Ralph and Uma actually had any chemistry, but no. "The Avenger's" is an empty, painful experience, and truly painful for somehow getting Sean Connery, one of film's finest actors, to turn in what may be his first truly bad performance. No kidding, Connery is just plain bad camping it up and walking around in a teddy bear suit (don't ask). Also, for a movie that cost $90 million, what's with those laughable effects for the invisible man? You can almost see the wires moving things around. Avoid at all costs.
Alfred Packer: The Musical (1993)
Hilarious
If you like Trey Parker and Matt Stone's work (i.e. "South Park", "Orgazmo", and "Baseketball"), then you should like this as well. The music is surprisingly good and very funny, and I guarentee you'll be saying "spdoinkle!" all the time after you see it. This isn't rocket science here, but you should know what to expect from these guys, and if you like it, you'll like this. It was made for only $50,000, but amazingly it is quite professionally done. A completely ridiculous and very funny comedy.
Patch Adams (1998)
Patch Adams is bad medicine...
...Robin William's truly sinks to an all-time low here (although he will somehow sink lower with "Jakob the Liar"). I mean, this has got to be one of the most manipulative, sentimental, and just plain stupidest examples of hollywood entertainment, peddled to the lowest common denominator. First of all, Patch is just plain not funny. If I was dying in a hospital bed dying and some nutty doctor came in with bedpans on his feet and an enema ball on his nose, I wouldn't laugh, I'd cry. I know this movie was popular, and actually grossed in the area of 100 million, which just illustrates the public's taste these days. If you're not a fan of this movie, you man enjoy "Cecil B. Demented" which makes fun of "Patch Adams" quite hilariously. Anyways, I'm giving this stinking pile a 1, and to illustrate just how manipulative this movie is, look into how much of this "true" story is actually true. Let's just say minor details like the entire Monica Potter character, and the trial and the end of the movie were fabrications. Pure hollywood filth. Apparently Robin Williams is going to be in Christopher Nolan's remake of "Insomnia". That's good to know, cause he hasn't been in a real movie for quite some time.
Hamlet (1996)
Fantastic adaption!
This is certainly one well done version of (IMHO) Shakespeare's finest work. It's great to see the whole thing completely uncut, although watching in one sitting is a marathon of an experience at 4 1/2 hours. The acting is in general quite exceptional, especially from Branagh, Kate Winslet, and Julie Christie. Many of the big american actors, which basically plays as a novelty, are actually pretty good in their roles, especially Charlton Heston, who steals every scene he's in as the player king. Billy Crystal is surprisingly good as the Gravedigger, and Robin Williams is quite acceptable in as Osric, but Jack Lemmmon...I don't know. Anyway's i wish more than anything this film was on DVD, because it is THE Hamlet to own, which is saying a lot, because Olivier's verson is amazing as well. Possibly the best Shakespeare adaptation of any kind...
A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)
A complete mess, but morbidly fascinating...
The fact that A.I. was so ridiculously overhyped and so frequently connected to Kubrick are both unfortunate, as these factors add a great deal of stigma to an otherwise interesting mess. Let me be clear: A.I. is not a good film. It's tone is completely uneven, and Spielberg's horrible reliance on sentiment makes much of the film, particularly the epilogue, make the film seem like a children's film pitched at adults. However, in an age of monotonous hollywood trash, the sheer audacity of this film makes it somewhat worthwhile. Like UNBREAKABLE, respect must be given that this film was made at all, and it certainly never would have been made without a director with the clout of Steven. Anyways, the performances are in general quite excellent, particularly Osment's, although some of his earlier scenes seemed to provoke unintended laughter in the theater I saw it. Still, worth a rental when it hits video, certainly more worthwhile than junk like 3000 MILES TO GRACELAND. A failure, but a fascinating one nonetheless. I wonder if Spielberg will take anymore risks again...
The Sixth Sense (1999)
Overrated
CONTAINS SPOILER Let me start by saying the Sixth Sense is a good movie. A GOOD movie, not a great one. I'm not sure how this one got so big, I mean, yes it's got that nice twist, but it's also somewhat predictable and (SPOILER AHEAD!) comepletely ludicrous if you think about it. Think about it! seriously. This movie reminds me of Arlington Road and Reindeer Games in that the movie doesn't make sense if you sit down and rationally think about it. I mean, Bruce Willis has been dead for a year, an entire year. Don't you think he'd notice, particualrly that NO ONE talks to him, NO ONE except Osment! At one point, he says he "barely talks" to his wife anymore. Well, "barely" is different than "none" which would be the reality. Maybe I'm being too critical, but to me, a GREAT movie, like voters here have determined this is by putting it in the top 50 of ALL TIME, should really hold up to repeat viewings. I really have a feeling time is going to trivialize this one and reveal what it really is: a smart, but slow, effective thriller.
One final note: while the Sixth Sense got way too much hype, UNBREAKABLE didn't get nearly enough. UNBREAKABLE is a far better film, although it has its flaws as well. Instead of being a solid genre piece like THE SIXTH SENSE though, it really is amazingly original.
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Overrated
Saving Private Ryan, quite simply, is extremely overrated. Oh, the movie isn't a total wash, in fact, about 1/2 is fantastic, but there's also 1/2 total crap. The battle scene that begins the film is fantanstic, especially since it goes on and on for a full 20 minutes. Without a doubt the highlight of the movie. In addition, the men's journey to find private Ryan is usually quite engaging, and the performances, particularly those of Tom Hanks, Giovanni Ribisi, and Tom Sizemore, are excellent. However, all that good stuff is surrounded by weak sentiment and logic that rings completely false. For starters, the scenes of the old Ryan that bookend the film are Spielberg at his most cloying. There's nothing more annoying than a director pulling every trick possible to get tears out of his audience. Besides that, the film is extremely manipulative and is derailed by some ridiculous logic at the end. Despite all this, Saving Private Ryan is still a sometimes engaging film, and is worth seeing. But #26 all time? Please! The Thin Red Line, which was released with much less hype the same year is much better. In fact, after you see this movie, track down the HBO film When Trumpets Fade, an extremely underrated war film from the same time with much less phony emotion.
Freaked (1993)
Totally bizarre and twisted comedy!
Here's a truly freak-ish and insane comedy that should please fans of the kind of absurd humor of "orgazmo" or "meet the feebles". If you've heard of both of those two movies, I guarantee you'll love this one. Fantastic and grotesque make-up, extremely strange jokes (my fave is the flasback by the hammer), all combine to make a true cult classic!