Zargo Reviews

Limousine (2008)

atmospheric night tour of Poland

[8/10 · 15 December 2020]

A rare role for Christopher Lambert in a Polish film, set almost entirely around the dark city streets of a local city. Agnieszka Grochowska's character is the focus however, and she plays the restrained, kindly Ania very well as she deals with the challenge of having an injured murder suspect in the boot of her Limo whilst trying to keep Lambert's capricious character happy.

The film is low-key and has minimal action but is an atmospheric and pleasant character drama. I'm guessing it perhaps wasn't a big hit in Poland, as we haven't seen much else from the writer/director.

Winners: The Journey (1990) Season 2, Episode 6

atmospheric short film

[7/10 · 1 July 2018]

This is a very short (46 minutes) Aussie film that is rather creepy and disturbing, particularly at the beginning, and I wouldn't recommend it for children under the age of 12.

Things brighten up considerably once the action shifts to the beautiful Australian bush, and it tells an enjoyable story of comradeship between two 12 year old girls, and young ladies of a similar age should find it at least sporadically enjoyable.

Metamorphosis (I) (2007)

Metamorphosis, a pretty cool vamp-flick

[8/10 · 25 February 2007]

Being a big fan of Christopher Lambert and of "traditional" type Vampires, I was delighted to hear a couple of years ago that 'Metamorphosis' was happening.

Although the writers of 'Metamorphosis' were enthusiastic to portray an "original" take on Vampirism like most modern movies featuring our fanged friends do, they are still beautiful, genteel ladies and gentlemen and not a street-gang speaking in "cool" Buffy-type slang.

Mostly shot in Hungary straight after Lambert's 'Day of Wrath,' Christopher clearly enjoys playing the bad guy here, and gives us a performance that I would describe as Lord Rayden in a nastier mood. As usual, his character is a mix of dark and light, but I wish the script had allowed a bit more of an insight into his character as the write-up on the official site indicated there might be.

Irena A. Hoffman is everything you could want in a seductive Vampire, and I look forward to seeing her in other things. Scenes with her or Lambert as the main focus are certainly the most enjoyable in the movie, as the three American tourists (in real life, one Canadian, and two English) aren't very interesting.

Corey Sevier is adequate as Keith, but Jennifer Higham and particularly Charlie Hollway are stuck playing irritating, unfunny characters.

The rest of the cast is filled out by some suitable looking Hungarians, and the production is assisted by the use of genuine medieval locations.

Metamorphosis is a little light on blood and Vampire action, and struggles a bit to keep it's plot moving, but I enjoyed it.

Shower of Blood (2004 Video)

Hmmm

[5/10 · 16 March 2006]

Hey, it's a vampire movie! And it's got 'Sindel' from the 'Mortal Kombat 3' game! Worth a look, me thinks.

However, things start looking rather ominous after the first scene when I discover that: a) Lia Montelongo isn't wearing her MK costume b) More surprisingly (hah!), the acting's absolutely terrible!

I've seen a hell of a lot of movies that people are keen on criticising in regards to the acting, but this is the first time I've ever felt inspired to mention it myself. That first scene in the car is probably the most poorly acted scene I've ever seen.

I generally appreciate nudity, but when the very un-erotic parts of the film showcasing massive fake tits kept hitting me in the face every 34 seconds, I had definitely labeled 'Shower of Blood' a heavy beer-drinking movie, for future reference. And the audio in the 'gum chewing scene' has to be heard to be believed.

It looks extremely cheap, and was probably filmed in the producers house, since it's a very ordinary looking atmosphere-free residence.

Things pick up in the second half, and the movie starts to become fun, and will undoubtedly improve on future viewings.

Make sure you have the beer handy!

Shoot, My Darlin' (1997)

Shoot my darlin' Vivian!

[7/10 · 21 February 2005]

Naturally I bought this movie to see Vivian Hsu, and of course I wasn't disappointed. She is her usual gorgeous self, as she we see her get chased after, kidnapped, shot at, sing a melancholy song, and get 'tricked' left, right and centre.

The movie's about her getting kidnapped or something... I'm not sure exactly what was going on in the end, and what the main character's motivations were - but oh well, it was a pretty average action movie, with bullets flying everywhere, and people looking serious.

The first half is probably the best, when Liwa (Vivian's character) and a tax-driver are being held hostage by her mysterious kidnapper, and they're trying to get rid of him. There's quite a bit of English dialogue in the movie, but none from Vivian.

Anyway, worth seeing if you want to see the leading lady.

The Lost Capone (1990 TV Movie)

Great TV-movie

[26 January 2005]

I went and bought an ex-rental, and saw that it was a 'buy one, get one free' deal. Thus, I grabbed this when I saw Eric Roberts name on the cover, but it sat unwatched for maybe 8 months or so, probably because the cover of the Australian video release doesn't make it look overly interesting.

I'm glad I decided to watch on a whim however, as it is well worth taking the time to view. The setting and story is very interesting, and Adrian Pasdar is very good as the 'good' brother (Jimmy) of Al Capone.

Eric Roberts doesn't get much to do as Al for the most part except do his usual menacing routine, but he is fantastic in the final scene.

Certainly worth a rental if you can find a copy of this at your local video store, and they haven't all been given away with other ex-rentals yet.

Shaolin Popey (1994)

a film for fans of the actors

[7/10 · 26 December 2004]

I bought this movie to see Vivian! ...and she looks fab in her school uniform!

But moving on from that important fact, this movie is moderately entertaining, though it's 'borrowing' of scenes from other movies such as the 'Back to the Future' series, and 'Home Alone' is fairly obvious.

The first half hour is the most enjoyable, with an amusing opening sequence featuring a 'cupid's arrow' flying through the air at people. The scenes featuring the little kids are less appealing.

If you are a fan of Jimmy Lin, or want to see Vivian Hsu looking her usual delectable self, then worth a look! Those two actors would later be reunited in 'Chivalrous Legend.'

Xia dao zheng chuan (1998)

decent period drama

[7/10 · 4 January 2004]

'Chivalrous Legend' is a pretty good period piece set in Taiwan, which follows the young years of TenDin (Jimmy Lin) as he struggles to survive a Japanese invasion.

After a while it turns into a familiar 'Robin Hood' type yarn, but it's all fairly enjoyable.

I picked up 'Chivalrous Legend' mainly to see Vivian Hsu, and while she doesn't get any screen time till towards the end, it's worth the wait.

Worth a watch.

Millennium Mambo (2001)

interesting

[7/10 · 3 January 2004]

'Millennium Mambo' is a surreal, enigmatic film exploring the developments in the life of Vicky. Vicky is young woman who struggles to end her miserable relationship with her abusive boyfriend Hao-Hao, who she's lived with since her teenage years.

I'm left wondering whether there are hidden meanings to this film that are above my head, or whether there is actually all that much substance there in the beginning.

It all managed to be fairly entrancing however, thanks to the magnetic performance of Shu Qi, who proved she is much more then just an extraordinarily beautiful face and figure.

She effortlessly keeps the viewer's attention during endlessly long takes where not a lot appears to be happening.

Fruit Is Swelling (1997)

Wow!

[10/10 · 1 January 2004]

This has to be the perfect soft porn flick; Not only is there plenty of great sex with hot Asian babes, but it's a great story as well, with plenty of chuckles. And as other reviewers have mentioned, there are heartwarming scenes too, and I really cared about the characters.

Chun Chung is absolutely adorable in the lead role, and the little girl version of herself is cute too. Shu Qi is the first thing we see in the movie, and the fact that things manage to go uphill from then on is a testament to just how good 'The Fruit is Swelling 1997' really is.

US soft porn films are almost always horrible, with sex the only redeeming factor.

But 'Fruit' is so much more! A must see!

Extreme Crisis (1998)

entertaining

[7/10 · 27 December 2003]

'Extreme crisis' is a pretty decent action movie that gets better as it goes along. Their are a fair few familiar plot devices (we have 2 minutes to disarm this bomb before we're all blown to smithereens!), but the action is tense and refreshing.

It's good to see an action film that is precisely that, and not trying to incorporate humour and drama everywhere where it doesn't belong.

I bought the DVD for Shu Qi's appearence, but her screen-time in minimal in the role of the newsreader/girlfriend.

Iron Sister (1997)

interesting period drama

[7/10 · 23 December 2003]

'Iron Sister' is set in the 30's and is about a young girl (Shu Qi) and her father that take in an injured man who is on the run after killing a Japanese Major. Soon after, this man begins to tear their world apart.

A very dark and depressing tale, 'Iron Sister' is of main interest to Shu Qi fans like myself, as her performance is excellent.

Unfortunatly the bravely downcast nature of the story is almost ruined by a truly ridiculous voice-over thrown in at the end, which almost make me want to rip the TV screen apart.

The film is also misrepresented by the DVD cover, which tries to make you believe you're watching a soft porn flick.

While it's hardly a 'must-see', 'Iron Sister' is almost certainly a 'should-probably-see' for any Shu Qi fan

L-O-V-E... Love (1997)

stupid fun

[8/10 · 22 December 2003]

A few minutes into this film, and I wasn't impressed. Annoying male cast members, and lame jokes appeared to be the order of the day. And each of the female characters appeared to have the depth of the toddlers end at the swimming pool.

But when the action moved to Thailand and each of the girls is separated and teamed up with their respective suitors, I found myself being drawn into the infectious fun.

So hard to choose what to look at when my favourite Asian actresses Shu Qi and Vivian Hsu are on screen together though! (and I can tell you it wasn't the sub-titles winning out).

If you are prepared to let 'Love... Love' draw you into it's world of silly humour and fun, you'll be in for a genuinely feel-good time.

Your Place or Mine (1998)

nice fun

[8/10 · 21 December 2003]

A good example of a romantic comedy that's works great in Hong Kong movies, but would be awful as a Hollywood production.

'Your Place or Mine' is charming fun, with an appealing cast including one of my very favorite Asian singer/actors Vivian Hsu. Those she doesn't need to do much besides be adorable, which she does with such ease it's like she's basically playing herself.

Enjoyable fluff that's quite funny and romantic, and might appeal to people who (like me) don't like American romantic comedies.

The Accidental Spy (2001)

good

[9/10 · 19 December 2003]

I think 'Accidental Spy' does a good job blending the humour with the darker scenes.

-SPOILER-

I was genuinely in shock when Vivian Hsu's character died. This sort of thing does not happen in Jackie Chan movies! I thought the scene was very moving.

People complain about the lack of action, but this may well indeed be the last great real action movie starring Jackie.

It's not perfect of course: Vivian Hsu doesn't get enough screen time for my liking, and the bad guys fail to make any great impression. They're dismissed pretty quickly toward the end and then the action shifts to a train where it remains for the remainder of the film, and these scenes don't really have to much to do with anything (but are super action scenes to be sure).

Of course i watched the full version, NEVER EVER go near some dubbed cut U.S montrosity!

Devil Angel (1995)

Devilishly Angelic Vivian

[9/10 · 15 December 2003]

'Devil Angel' is notorious for it's 'Cat III' scenes featuring Vivian Hsu, but there's much more to it than a few sex scenes.

I'm not the greatest at plot descriptions, but since there isn't one here at the IMDB I thought I'd attempt one.

It's a about a young couple who fall deeply in love and swear to be together forever. However, things turn complicated when a beautiful rich woman dying of cancer falls for Vivian's man, and in the couple's need to for money to survive, he relents to become her gigolo.

But is he after her money or is he really falling for her?

I was kept on the edge of my seat by the intense lead performances of Vivian Hsu, Franco Jiang, and Si Man Yeung.

Although this was Vivian's first role she's the real pro, and proves she has talent as well as looks (she's primarily a singer).

I recommend 'Devil Angel', it's quite a poignant film, and I had no idea what was going to happen next.

Gorgeous (1999)

Just gorgeous!

[10/10 · 2 December 2003]

I have seen close to 40 Jackie Chan movies, and this would have to be one of my favourites. I am not a fan of romantic comedies at all, but I loved this movie.

It's perhaps one of the most literally 'feel good' movies I've ever seen, where you'll come out at the end with a big grin and the notion that perhaps the world isn't quite the awful place you always thought it was.

Shu Qi is one of my very favourite actresses, and she truly is gorgeous - her and Jackie make a wonderful team.

Of course, if you're looking for 'wham bam Chan' and evil bad guys with dastardly plans then you'll be very disappointed. There are no 'bad guy's' in Gorgeous, but still there's a few very good fight scenes.

I don't know my people point put bad dubs anymore... They are ALWAYS awful. ALWAYS watch the original.

Jackie should keep making great Chinese movies like this and less ordinary Hollywood ones.

Twinkle Twinkle Lucky Stars (1985)

not the best

[8/10 · 7 July 2003]

Full of awful humour and irritating characters, 'The Target' (what I saw it as) isn't a highpoint in the career of Jackie Chan, Samo Hung, and Yuen Biao.

I have to wonder at how the 'lucky star' series that this is a part of managed to become so popular, going by 'The Target' and the other one I've seen ('my lucky stars')

Besides the couple of final battles, there are only two good scenes, one featuring Michelle Yeogh teaching Judo, and the other involving the main girl pretending she's blind to avoid being killed as a witness. jackie's only in a few scenes and is generally wasted. If you want to see Jackie, Samo, and Yuen Biao is a good movie, watch Dragons Forever, or Project A if you haven't already.

Sex and Zen III (1998)

more sex of course, but Zen?

[8/10 · 6 July 2003]

The original Sex & Zen was a provocative, inteligent, and fun erotic movie that broke new ground for the genre. The sequel was just a more explicit 'erotic ghost story' riding on the success of the original (though still thoroughly enjoyable). This one is again, a new kettle of fish altogether, and while it doesn't contain the fantasy element of Sex & Zen II, the style is more similar to that than of the first.

It's certainly the weakest in the series: It lacks the humour of the first two and contains the least interesting sex scenes with the original having the wackiest, and the sequel having the most beautiful girls.

But I still thoroughly enjoyed Sex & Zen III, the story is still entertaining, the girls still beautiful, and the sex still more explicit than your average movie.

Twin Dragons (1992)

great fun

[10/10 · 5 July 2003]

Whatever you do, ALWAYS keep away from any U.S release of any non-Hollywood movie Jackie has done, because they're absolutly awful.

If, however, you see Twin Dragons as it is supposed to be, you're in for a hilariously fun time, though if you're looking for really stand-out action scenes then you may be disapointed, as comedy is the order of the day here. It has a great music score too, which I believe was changed for the U.S release.

Twin Dragons is easily in my top-ten of Jackie's movie's, and I've seen plenty more than ten! If you appreciate chan's type of humour then this is definatly for you, it's the funniest movie he's ever made.

Miracles: The Canton Godfather (1989)

nice

[8/10 · 25 June 2003]

Mr Canton and Lady Rose (or whatever you want to call it) is indeed Jackie's personal favourite out of the looong list of flicks he's featured in. It's definatly the story and the characters that director Chan is interested in, with the action being kind of forced and even out of place when it appears. If Jackie had the choice it's unlikely there would have been any action at all, but Golden Harvest weren't going to let him make a movie without his usual manic action.

Therefore, Mr Canton and Lady Rose is somewhat uneven, and as good as the final battle is, it just seemed to be padding out a movie that's already longer then his usual, and had little relation to the actual plot. It's a good plot though, I really found myself caring about what happened to lady rose and her daughter. Mr Ho is given a little too much screen time however, particularly towards the start.

Me Canton and Lady Rose is a little self-indulgent, a little uneven, and a little long and slow to get going- But it's definatly a lot of fun, and despite these critisisms, I recommend it to every Jackie Chan fan.

Dragons Forever (1988)

underrated

[24 June 2003]

Dragons Forever seems to me to be a little overlooked amongst Jackie's other more celebrated movies such as Project A or Armour of God. It's a pity, because I've seen more then 40 of his movies and Dragons would be in my top ten or very close.

It's practically your perfect Jackie Chan movie; great action, great humour, and just a lot of fun to watch. I didn't find the romance side painful at all, though character's motivations can be a little shady.

As you might know- Jackie, Samo, and Yuen Biao haven't appeared together in a project since Dragons Forever, and as much as i enjoy Jackie alongside a Tucker or a Wilson, it would be just great to have those three reunited again some day soon!

Snake and Crane Arts of Shaolin (1978)

pretty good

[20 June 2003]

At first glance this movie is just another one of those old chan movies with the slightly irritating, forgettable title, and equally forgettable movie, but this one's content is pretty good.

It only drags occasionally, and the action (and even plot!) is very good, great to see jackie in control! It does make a change seeing him play someone other then the lovable underdog as well, but although this movies isn't humerous as far as i could tell, it's not deadly serious either.

Snake & Crane is horribly edited, and critisising the dubbing of a jackie chan movie is hardly an original notion, but it is very watchable, and while not a 'must-see' it is definatly one of Jackie's old ones that fans shouldn't be afraid to take a look at!

The Killer Meteors (1976)

not a jackie chan movie

[20 June 2003]

I actually found this movie a lot of fun, although if you go in expecting a Jackie Chan movie you'll be disapointed, as he's in only a few scenes and a couple of fights, though his role is important. At the time this film was made, Jackie was struggling to make any impact on the box-office, and was delegated to villian to make way for Jimmy Wang Yu who was a much bigger star at the time (Kimmy Wang who? you may ask) and it's he that is clearly the star of Killer Meteors. As other reviewers have mentioned, it's the story and characters are the reason to watch this, as in that respect it's a good watch. The sets/props/costumes are actually pretty good too for the Lo Wei Motion Picture Co. The fighting coreography is only average, however.

However, most people who see this movie will be expecting a Jackie-filled stunt spectacular, and they will be disapointed.

Nekromantik (1988)

different

[8/10 · 9 April 2003]

Nekromanatik makes for a wonderfully surreal 75 minutes. As wacky event follows wacky event, the viewer finds themselves in this riveting little world where literally anything goes... but doesn't go quickly if you know what I mean, and is invariably accompanied by everybody's favourite red substance.

Yes, this movie is quite gory, as you may have gathered by reading a few other reviews here, and while it's not gonna disturb anyone who's familiar with 'exploitation' movies, your mum will probably never look at you the same way again if you showed her this.