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Reviews
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)
Worse Than Bicentennial Man. Yoooo-Noooo!
First of all why does this movie have a rating of 8.6 when it is clearly an awful movie. Most perplexing to me is why people are liking the film, when I looked back at the viewers' faces during a lighted scene the audience was engulfed. Did the directors think they were making an earth shattering shot sequence when they showed the East India TC Captain moving in slow motion while the ship was exploding? Not to mention the marriage of Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, performed by Geoff, which reduced function in my body. The most important inconsistency being where Lord Cutler Beckett does not give a command while the pirates attack; the crew does not order fire respecting the Lord's command, but then they decide to abandon ship? Rubbish. Robin Williams~"One robot's 200 year journey to become an ordinary man."
Balto III: Wings of Change (2004)
Dankto Flaw
It is obvious that time has progressed from the first Balto installment yet they introduce what is supposed to be a new mode of transportation, the airplane. In the first Balto the airplane was one of the options to get the serum to Nome, but was not able to make the flight because of severe weather. Yet at least two years later, where Balto has grown up offspring, the focus of the movie is on saving the pilot who is introducing the newly assembled airplane to Nome, thats the only flaw I could find in all the movies. Although there was a dropoff from the first movie it is still the best dog movie hands down. Along with For a Few Dollars More.
The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Dankentino
I suppose this can be considered a bonus or sneak peek comment aside from my usual weekly post; but for this movie anything. The only thing that had a chance of ruining this movie was the one actress Tracie Thoms (sorry if you're reading this) who was awful. My opinion is that this movie rules and I don't really know what Anne's peers were so worried about, she had hardly changed. Why didn't the Flying Dutchman send his crew of stupid characters to retrieve the heart in the chest in the first place so it can be under his protection, made absolutely no sense. Just a lot of rubbish acting and a huge budget that was justified by momentum of a failing Disney franchise. 'Til next week loyal readers!
My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006)
Dank Schrute
Ivan does a fine job in this portrayal. Schrute is very comical when he utters "im gonna go" when the super villain and his goons are attacking Luke Wilson. You know I don't wanna click the back button to see how they spelled G-Girl's real name at the risk of losing my progress I already have in this comment; but if J/G enn i/y G/J ohnson is spelled with a G it could unlock the secret behind G-Girl's name. If not then I made a mistake. Actually surprised this one was a loser, $30 million budget and only grossed $22 million. Hopefully this review can be difference maker for the box office. Well for my loyal readers Ill be back next week with my latest review/blog. Til next time.
Balto (1995)
Danko
Truly my favorite family animation movie. It's an epic tale about a half wolf sled dog that against all odds succeeds, a true underdog story. Bacon does fantastically in feeding Balto's inner spirit. The top of my to do list currently involves seeing Balto II and Balto III, I'm not sure what they are about, but I have heard they're about forest fires. Balto rescues Jedis while these wildfires spread like..wildfire. If what I just said had nothing to do with the second and third installments, there's the pitch for Balto IV. So John Hughes....the guy makes some dank 80's movies and then resorts to becoming the best dog movie director, but had no part in this masterpiece, only have Simon Wells to thank there.
Can't Buy Me Love (1987)
Danky
This can be summed up by the danky African Ant Eater Ritual cause the real question here is are you into long distance relationships....then why don't you reach out and touch someone. Beauty runs in this family and it runs fast and Tyga a crack in the moon a hundred times the size of the grand canyon. Our grandparents sure knew how to build things....WHERE....Rome, Paris,...Downtown Burbank, it must be new if the Ronster's. Your in the wrong section Miller dweebs to the left...Then you'll be taking a right..??..The ass-hole section. Cindy most popular girl at school, captain of the cheerleading team, the most beautiful girl in the history of this county. In the Deep Sea of Blue I love you immensely and intensely.
V for Vendetta (2005)
Dankalicous
This is a super danked out lopin G-unit movie with danish action/plot/fight scenes. Curious when the d"V"d comes out so I can watch it in my home base. I don't know whether V for Vendetta has the same fan base as Get Rich or Die Trying but if it does I would not be phased. Both V and Curtis Jackson have an uncanny ability to bounce off bullets like Super Mario. The last scene where bullets hit V with the metal plate was stolen from one of my favorite Clint Eastwood movies For a Few Dollars More or at least borrowed. 50 cent-Candy Shop: I'll take you to the candy shop, I'll let you lick the lollipop, Go 'head girl, don't you stop, Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah).
Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain (2001)
Super Dank
This movie is danish and clever. ("Danish" is the root word of "dank") It seems like lately I have been seeing the same story line repeated where as this French Phenemenon breaks boundaries. After much pondering I found that this movie truly lives up to other movie classics such as Like Mike, Poseidon (new version), and Cheaper By the Dozen 2. The rest of this comment is based on the hot topic of Captain Planet. Captain Planet is quite possibly the worst super hero of all time whose kryptonite is pollution. This movie inspired me to purchase two very large Amelie posters. Goes nicely with my Clint Eastwood posters. Can't imagine another foreign film overtaking it.