gtyj1990 Reviews

Super Rhino (2009 Video)

Rhino has his day

[8/10 · 28 March 2009]

Included on the Blu-ray Disc with Bolt (2008), this short begins with the star canine and his owner Penny in peril from "The Man with the Green Eye", trapped within his fortress protected by overwhelming defenses, tied up and suspended high above a bottomless pit that's surrounded by fire. So Penny's father transforms Rhino (similar to Bolt's transformation in the feature film) into a super hamster, capable of rescuing his friends. The filmmakers used many of the same sequences, giving Rhino the same powers as Bolt, to affect the rescue and save the day ... before he wakes up - having dreamed it all in his hamster ball - in bed with Mittens, Penny, and Bolt.

Magnolia (1999)

An overlong, overblown, overrated piece of shift

[1/10 · 13 January 2009]

I've watched some bad movies in my day, but this had to be one of the worst. Why? Well, firstly, I had (I won't call them 'high' because, after all, it was listed on IMDb.com's top 250 movies list) better than average expectations for this one. Secondly, it was long (boy was it long), loud (there were so many parts in which I couldn't hear the dialogue for the soundtrack), and depressing - while I've come to expect this from a lot of movies that come out of Hollywood, this one really emphasized the cultural divide between Left coast people (who are apparently absent any recognizable family values) and the rest of us. At this moment, I can recall only a couple of characters worth rooting for, the rest can all go to Hell (and who'd miss them?); most are pathetic, shallow creatures that can't cope with life, so they wallow in their own self pity. Naturally, its plot is rife with drug and alcohol abuse AND dysfunctional families (though, surprisingly, there is a paucity of racism and homosexuality exhibited when compared to Hollywood's norm).

It's a movie that starts out with so much promise – the premise put forth at its beginning is intriguing – before the background music (which quickly becomes an unwelcome character of its own) asserts itself. The cast is more than capable (per their resumes) and even its least skilled member (Tom Cruise) delivers an amusing caricature before he disintegrates into a whimpering wuss (I guess it was the requisite crying scene that earned him a supporting nod - usually reserved for actors – from the Academy). But there is no story here (so, of course, its original screenplay also earned an Oscar nomination) or, at least, what there is devolves into character sketches of people no one should care about (save two, maybe). While admittedly everyone has flaws, Hollywood's disconnected values system always seems to recycle the same old themes: the concept of marriage fidelity is archaic and medicating one's insecurities by snorting coke or imbibing booze to 'escape' their situations is what normal people do.

To top things off, producer-director-screenwriter Paul Thomas Anderson obviously couldn't figure out how to finish his bloated 'narrative', so he invented an improbable event of biblical proportions (frogs falling from the air, are you kidding me) to end it. Then, after slapping on some preachy and pretentious voice-overs, he was done.

Burn-E (2008 Video)

An inside look at the Axiom's most persistent robot

[10/10 · 7 January 2009]

This short feature - that comes on the DVD and Blu-ray disc of WALL-E (2008) - tells the background story of Burn-E (Basic Utility Robot Nano Engineer), a persistent little robot whose job it is to replace light posts on the exterior of BnL's Axiom spacecraft, which houses Earth's people while robots such as WALL-E (Waste Allocation Load Lifter-Earth-class) clean up the mess they left behind on their planet.

It's an amusing story that takes place during the feature film, though Burn-E's existence is only briefly shown as a robot frustrated that WALL-E and EVE (Extraterrestial Vegetation Evaluator) have entered the portal from which he'd exited, which causes it to close (effectively locking him out of the Axiom). This same scene transpires about half way through the short.

In this featurette, Burn-E is called to action when a light post needs replacing: 'he' retrieves a replacement post and 'runs' down a long track interior to the Axiom before he arrives at the aforementioned portal (which opens so that Burn-E can get to the location of the missing post); the robot then attempts to install a new post by welding it into place. However, various 'accidents' occur which cause the replacement post to 'escape' and drift into outer space, so Burn-E has to repeat the process of retrieving a new post, after which he attempts to complete the task again and again unsuccessfully.

Though Burn-E's persistence is eventually rewarded, it's only temporary!

Cinerama Adventure (2002)

Highly recommended!

[8/10 · 9 October 2008]

I want to thank the producers (writer-director David Strohmaier and all of the interviewees) of this documentary for their very informative, thoroughly researched history of Cinerama. Not only is the material fascinating, but it's presented in a such a way that it's palatable to film buffs and novices alike. After receiving the How the West Was Won - Ultimate Collector's Edition (1962), I was delighted to find this program on the third DVD disc included in the package; I didn't even know that it existed, let alone that it was released more than six years ago! Cinerama Adventure (2002) is an outstanding example of the kind of treatment such an important subject deserves, from people that obviously love (and want to preserve) our country's cinematic history. A job very well done indeed!

The Princess Bride (1987)

It's inconceivable that this movie is rated so highly

[2/10 · 14 September 2008]

This has to be one of the most overrated movies of all time. I don't know what it is, but it may have to do with how old you were when you first saw it. I'm guessing that when the movie was first released, a lot of guys took their dates to see it – women typically love romantic themes, even when done badly – and got laid that night or something, hence they remember it fondly. Or it's possible that even younger audiences were fans of TV's "The Wonder Years" and loved Fred Savage or something. But for anyone who wasn't younger than 25 at the time of its release, this movie's popularity is an enigma: As a comedy, it's not very funny. As a fantasy, it's just bad. It has some qualities as an action adventure, though it comes off as a cheap imitation of a cross between the Robin Hood story and Monty Python and the Holy Grail (a silly movie that works, at least for most guys, in a way that the Three Stooges do not); shame on Peter Cook. Overall, the story is childish, the dialog is juvenile ("She is alive, or was an hour ago. If she is otherwise when I find her I shall be very put out". Come on!) and repetitive, the sets are pathetic, the acting is abysmal (Andre the Giant and that annoying little dweeb, please), and the special effects (rodents of unusual size) … ugh!

Atonement (2007)

A disappointment

[2/10 · 27 March 2008]

Unnecessarily confusing and poorly structured even though it had to have flashbacks for its Rashomon-like storytelling; this decade's 'trend' away from the chronological seems designed to hide flaws. The film's plot is really fairly simple, so the director and editor had to give far too much screen-time to certain scenes in an attempt to gloss over this fact (cinematography over substance). For example, the scene when McAvoy's character is struggling to find the right words while typing his apology, which is interspersed with Knightley's endless smoking, is excruciatingly slow. Instead of spending so much time with this point, how about letting us in on how his character received the wound to his chest? Also, while the Dunkirk sequence is an impressive technical accomplishment, it drags on almost dizzyingly and seems as if it were designed to lend a more serious subtext to the otherwise flimsy story. Along these lines, the filmmakers felt it necessary to add gratuitous hospital shots of the war wounded (and, earlier, used that "most horrible word in the world"). Of course, you have to credit them for using Vanessa Redgrave in the Titanic-like Gloria Stuart denouement, which wraps the whole thing in a prettier package than its contents.

Venus (I) (2006)

Other than O'Toole's performance, it has limited appeal

[1/10 · 27 May 2007]

One has to wonder if the moral gap between today's filmmakers and the rest of us can get any wider. Whereas Stanley Kubrick (Lolita (1962)) and Hal Ashby (Harold and Maude (1971)) each directed exceptional black comedies with unique characters involved in extreme May-December romances which still hold up today, Venus (2006) is too rude, crude and socially unacceptable for almost anyone's sensibilities (unless you enjoy hearing geezers drop f-bombs). Director Roger Mitchell's love story is so distasteful that his target audience must have been as narrow as pop singer Michael Jackson's apologists. While Peter O'Toole's lecherous character is believable, it's only because he's playing a dying actor (in more than one sense of the word) that his self-centered quest for pleasure has any basis in reality. The role Leslie Phillips plays temporarily holds O'Toole's debauchery up to a mirror but, in the end, even he is able to excuse his friend's actions as if it were an eccentricity. Though similar in age to Sue Lyon and Bud Cort (respectively), actress Jodie Whittaker is perhaps too inexperienced to provide much to her characterization of the girl who's taken advantage of, when compared to the previously mentioned (cult) classics. Vanessa Redgrave isn't really given enough to do - her character barely provides a historical perspective of O'Toole's character - and even she appears to be tolerant of her husband's last obsession when she meets Jessie aka Venus (Whittaker) at the film's conclusion. Of course, one has to credit O'Toole for his sympathetic portrayal of a truly loathsome dirty old man.

Mission to Moscow (1943)

Waiting for Mission to Mecca

[2/10 · 18 May 2007]

After watching this movie dubbed "one of the few films Jack Warner wished he had never made" according to Clive Hirschhorn's The Warner Bros. Story, AND given the current climate in Hollywood, one has to wonder how long it will be before a similarly misguided filmmaker will make an homage to Osama Bin Laden and radical Islam. Will it be Michael Moore or Oliver Stone? Mission to Moscow (1943) is such blatant propaganda for the Soviet Union that it portrays Joseph Stalin as a reasonable leader of a friendly (to the United States) regime, one that can be trusted as an ally. Of course, history reveals otherwise and those who fail in their knowledge of it are doomed to repeat it. While suppression of more moderate Muslim voices (by PBS no less!) occurs regularly today, at least at the time of this writing there is not a domestic film which celebrates the Islamofascist ideology and attempts to make OBL and/or Al-Qaeda appear peaceable and trustworthy to the West ... yet!

Hollywood Scout (1945)

Stupid Dog Tricks

[5/10 · 7 July 2006]

This below average Pete Smith short features a woman, as the titled Hollywood talent scout, sitting at her desk reviewing various film clip submissions from pet owners who feel that their dogs have noteworthy talents (as Smith narrates). Most of this producer's features are above average and very entertaining; some have even won awards. Pete Smith received sixteen Academy Award nominations, earning two Oscars and an Honorary Award from AMPAS for this career. Unfortunately, this one is not up to his usual standards. A German Shephard is shown walking a tightrope, another is shown jumping onto a swing. But these talented dogs are actually the highlight of this short whose final segment is particularly lame.

The Heartbreak Kid (1972)

The beginning of the end of personal responsibility?

[3/10 · 29 June 2006]

It seems everyone loved this movie; I will offer the first dissenting opinion here. Supposedly the 1980's ushered in the "me" generation, but after watching this film, one has to wonder if it didn't begin earlier. Lenny Cathrow (Charles Grodin) has got to be one of the most selfish characters on film.

He marries a nice enough gal, Lila (Jeannie Berlin, daughter of the director, Elaine May), but almost instantly shows contempt for her - "buyer's remorse"? On the third day of his honeymoon, he meets a (rich) spoiled college kid, Kelly (Cybill Shepherd), whose beauty and laugh captivate him. I should mention that Lenny and Lila are New York Jews and Kelly is a blonde mid-Westerner from Minneapolis. The fact that Lenny may never have seen a WASP like Kelly while growing up in the city is hardly an excuse for his actions, and Berlin's character is hardly a stereotypical (repugnant, overindulged) Jewish American Princess.

Sure, the road-trip to Miami, during which Lenny all-too-quickly grew to hate his bride (one wonders how he ever chose to marry her in the first place), was hardly ideal. But someone who'd spent three years in the service of his country should show a little more maturity than he does; the story recalls Tennessee Williams's play, and the much better film "Period of Adjustment (1962)" - Jim Hutton's character was also ex-military. Suddenly, anything Lila does (almost nothing Lenny shouldn't have noticed while dating) is distasteful to her groom. Is it possible that he was a virgin and we're to believe that their wedding night sex was too disillusioning for him?

So, Lenny decides to dump his newlywed wife to pursue Kelly, whose attraction to him is a mystery; it appears she's only toying with the young bridegroom until the incredible (and disappointing) end when he wins her away from her disapproving father (Eddie Albert, his performance being the film's only highlight). I can enjoy a movie with unredeemable characters, as long as the plot is plausible.

Some of the Best: Twenty-Five Years of Motion Picture Leadership (1949)

Highlights some of MGM's best films from 1924 through 1948

[6/10 · 29 April 2006]

Lionel Barrymore sits behind a desk and hosts this review of MGM's 25 years of film-making leadership. After a small bit of braggadocio, he introduces a great film from each year, from John Gilbert & Greta Garbo silents through Academy Award winning Best Pictures like Broadway Melody, Mutiny on the Bounty, and Mrs. Miniver. He then introduces some clips from several films in production to be released that year like The Stratton Story, The Secret Garden, and Take Me Out to the Ball Game before mentioning a few others (e.g. On the Town) without showing any footage. The short ends with some familiar panning shots, for anyone who watches TCM, from the studio's Silver Jubilee banquet that features "more stars than there are in Heaven" (actors from Robert Taylor to Ava Gardner etc.).

Lions on the Loose (1941)

Cute cubs create chaos

[6/10 · 23 April 2006]

This Pete Smith special follows a couple of lion cubs who escape from a zoo and then wreak havoc in one home's nursery full of toys and its kitchen, before they entertain a monkey, that's "riding" a goat, by toying with a python. As with all of this producer's short films, it's all in fun and Smith's narration includes (indeed, provides) a lot of the humor, as he voices the characters' thoughts (e.g. giving the animals personalities): a Jack-in-the-box in the nursery pops up & down, hiding when the cubs get too close; when the cubs tear open a feather pillow, a Christmas song briefly plays; the cubs discover, and then eat a pie on the kitchen counter-top before a can of flour spills, covering them both "white"; the monkey "speaks" to the cubs before one of them "tangles" with the python, who's "upset" when the cub tears at its hide, etc.. Entertaining as usual, especially for young animal lovers!

Goodbye, Mr. Germ (1940)

Interesting historical piece about tuberculosis

[5/10 · 10 December 2005]

Features actor (and sometime director) James Kirkland, this short film apparently predates the TB vaccine, or at least its widespread use. Kirkland is the doctor (or scientist) father of two youngsters. His lab consists of various different animals and pets. He imagines inventing a radio that can hear germs speak, and that he can understand their language. Most of the film features Kirkland talking to a tuberculosis germ (he views through his microscope) as they discuss how TB is transfered from one person to another, how the body fights it, and how it can live dormant for years in a person's body waiting for a moment of physical weakness that allows it to escape. TB causes one to cough until eventually it ruptures blood vessels such that the discharge contains blood. Kirkland then tells the germ that they've been able to discover "him" in the body now, which is then verified with an X-ray. The "cure" is not specifically discussed unless the X-ray itself causes the germs to harden and die (I thought this was unclear).