Change Your Image
tom-richards
Reviews
Deathstalker (1983)
Hack and Slash
This film's kind of like Conan the Barabarian, but with more sex, rape and murder. There is a plot somewhere underneath all this debauchery but the filmmakers don't do a good job showing it, which is a shame because it 'could' be a decent story. Richard Hill gives a solid performance in the lead role, as does the villain - who sadly didn't appear in anything else of note. The fight scenes aren't too bad either - I love the way Deathstalker lets his sword 'drink' the blood of his victims - and there's plenty of nudity and sex to temper the general level of machismo throughout.
All in all, not good - but not necessarily that bad either...
Superman Returns (2006)
Superman 'Returns' from a five year absence to discover Lois has gone off with anther man...
'Superman Returns Disastrously' would be a more apt title for this shambolic, self-indulgent, overly-serious, dark and forbidding nightmare-world Brian Singer seems compelled to create whenever he ventures into the world of Superhero-dom. What he hopes to achieve by making everything so god-damned serious, I simply don't know, though I'm sure he believes he's done a great job restoring the character to his original 'moody' roots...
Either way, the result of this 'restoration' is a masterpiece (or should that be 'crassterpiece'?) of formal, modern, wooden cinema that's worthy of an place alongside his other notable contribution toward world boredom, X-Men 1.
Sorry for the negativity but there are lots and lots of problems with this film and I'm sure the people who've stupidly given this film a high rating will come to hate it with time - just like they did when they brought themselves a copy of Star Wars III on DVD and realised finally that the whole prequel 'experiment' had been a shambles from the start...
It's not that I'm against Superman - I loved the previous films and Christopher Reeve was a legend in the role... But Brandon Routh ain't no Christopher Reeve and never will be. The same applies for Kate Bosworth, Kevin Spacey and the rest of the 'clones' they've hired for the project (seemingly on looks alone, for certain cast-members).
But this isn't the actors fault - it goes deeper than this. The real fault lies with the producers. They're the ones that chose Bryan Singer to direct; they're the ones that okeyed the boring, tiresome script, and they're the ones that didn't demand the necessary changes to the yawn-inducing two-and-a-half hour story that focuses more on the characters 'feelings' rather than giving us the healthy dose of action, adventure and invention we expect from a Superman film.
It hurts me to say this but what this picture really needed was Jerry Brockheimer at the helm. At least then Superman could have spoke with actions... and not the tension-ridden 'facial expressions' Bryan Singer seems to obsessed with.
I can just picture the scene on set...
Bryan Singer: "OK Brandon, give me 'heartbreak'! Brandon Routh: (gurns his face) "Grrr!" Bryan Singer: "More! That's good! Now throw in a bit of tension... Great! Now furrow your brow like this... OK, more!" Brandon Routh: "I'm furrowing as much as I can!" Bryan Singer: "Bulls**t! - There can never be 'too much' furrowing! If only Hugh Jackman hadn't turned down the role - now he's a man that can furrow, I tell thee!"
Tom Richards