baz_trinity Reviews

Dreamgirls (2006)

Overrated crap.

[3/10 · 8 June 2007]

Dreamgirls first attracted me because it was released as a movie 'loosely based on The Supremes'. 'Great' I said, The Supremes had a fascinating story, it will be interesting to see what they do with it, considering such a fantastic cast and the overall hype.

Well, don't believe the hype. This is sappy, Disney-influenced crap that should never have been made. Yes, it was based on the MUSICAL DreamGirls, rather than being inspired solely by various music acts during the 20th century, but does that make it any better? Hell no.

Lets start with the positives though, shall we? Well, most aspects of the acting was pretty great. Eddy Murphy was simply superb, highlight of the movie for me. Jamie Foxx? Meh, he was okay I guess. Can't complain but he wasn't superb by any means. Jennifer Hudson? Overrated I thought, she was not worthy of Best Supporting Actress at the Oscars. Yeah, she can sing like a frickin' whale on steroids, but acting-wise she wasn't spectacular as so many critics deemed her. The lighting and Camera work, was really good. Excellent in fact. great use of light, balmy blues and reds while they were onstage, and slick, sophisticated camera work. Top notch.

*possible spoilers* However, that's all the positivity I could extract. On to the negatives. The music was shocking. Considering this is 90% music, you can see why I thought it was such a failure. Every time there was a ballad I'd cringe and those Hudson songs just dragged on forever and the lyrics were hardly inspirational. The music wasn't apt in the slightest, it was so disgustingly modern that I felt like throwing up. I never heard a Supremes song sound like any of the ones they had on offer. The overall ending was just poor, why did everything just end up so perfectly? Everyone reunites? Everybody is as happy as Larry? The script-writers really did catch the Disney virus while writing the ending for this one. Shocking.

If you like glitzy, sugarcoated, fake musical equivalent and a bastardizing of former artists then please watch by all means, everyone else, pick up a copy of Ray or Walk the Line. Forget this crap.

Saw (2004)

Simply brilliant

[10/10 · 8 June 2007]

Well, what can I say? The movie is simply a reinvention. With all the crap being thrown at us from the Horror genre it's very hard to tell whats decent or not. All horror movies these days are just hack and slash, poor dialog, poor execution, token hot people and flashy camera's. Oh yeah, and the occasional girl screaming. What you get in Saw is excruciatingly painful scenes that will have anyone averting their eyes at some point. Coupled with this, the means of torture, both physically and mentally, are excellently crafted and incredibly imaginative. There is a genuine unnerving feel about the inventiveness of the various instruments used to bring his victims to insanity.

The superb thing about Saw I feel, is that it actually has a great plot, one you don't expect and particularly NEED in a horror, but Saw delivers a brilliant one anyway. The psychological killer behind the whole thing, AKA Jigsaw, doesn't simply torture his victims, but uncovers their deepest flaws, exploits them, and punishes the person for them. They are given choices, often both ending in some sort of tragedy, but the sheer cruelty is just mind-blowing and a breath of fresh air to the boring, formulaic route most Horrors these days take.

The fact is, Saw is clever. Saw is psychological. Saw is thought provoking and Saw is excruciatingly hard to watch at times. Saw is a classic horror of our times and coupled with a great twist, well, it simply makes Saw one of the best Horrors ever. You must watch it!

Splinter Cell: Double Agent (2006 Video Game)

A Grittier, Meaner, far deeper edition to the Splinter Cell series.

[9/10 · 15 April 2007]

*NOTE: This is a review of the XBOX 360 version of Double Agent.

Splinter Cell: Double Agent is a welcome change to the normal strictly stealth based game-play of old. This time its far more action-packed, the graphics of course have improved and the story is far more deeper, involved and intriguing. But there is one element of the game that truly sets it apart from the series and video gaming in general; the captivating integration of working for two organizations and the decisions Sam is left with, creating a dynamic and original form of game-play, to which you can choose whether to turn your back on the NSA by adapting to the terrorists way of thinking, or stick with your primary objective of successfully infiltrating and destroying the terrorists organization from within. For every objective in each level, there is a possibility of losing or gaining trust from either the NSA or the JBA. These such elements makes this game slightly in contrast with the previous editions, mainly due to the fact that the first 3 had a mildly involving story, while Double Agent couldn't be any more interesting.

This being said, the game is not without it's flaws. Firstly, the style of graphics may not suit some and frankly, I for one preferred the old. The new style indeed has more details and such, this is a given considering it's on a more powerful console, but this does not necessarily mean it's an improvement. The familiar style of the first 3 had amazing lighting effects and a slight contrast between dark and light, which was visually original and fresh, while Double Agent loses this imagery somewhat. Secondly, the camera angle can be a nuisance, it is very close up and take a bit of getting used to and sometimes gets in the way of things, for instance, seeing nearby enemies while hiding behind a wall etc.

But the quality outweighs the flaws by a mile, this game is a fantastic, intense tour de force and a revolution in gaming storyline. Double Agent is an essential purchase and sits proudly at the top of the not-so-populated Stealth Genre and is a fantastic edition to the ever-so-great Splinter Cell franchise.

Pan's Labyrinth (2006)

Pan's Labyrinth - A Triumphant Achievement

[10/10 · 31 March 2007]

Pan's Labyrinth tells the tale of young Ofelia, who is stepdaughter to a fascist Captain in 1944. When she strays off into the forest near her new-found home she discovers a dark, eerie, fantasy world.

Visually, this movie is stunning. I was surprised that a movie outside the U.S. could produce such an amazing use of special effects and cgi, easily comparable and more-often BETTER than ANYTHING the U.S. coughed up that year. This movie truly pulls you in to it's fantastic world and does not let you leave and it's plot is enchanting and captivating. But this is far, far away from some children's fantasy, the movie is 18's for a reason. It's violent and truly brutal at times, leading to some very squeamish moments. This combination of violence, dark themes and fantasy is rare in the mainstream cinema, making this film a breath of fresh air and quite unique.

The fact that it is in Spanish can't be taken as a negative element, I for one hardly noticed due to the fact that I was so enthralled in the movie itself and it really portrayed how ridiculous award ceremonies such as The Oscars are, that simply because of the language this (far superior) movie couldn't contend against movies like 'Little Miss Sunshine' for Best Film.

I highly recommend this, BELIEVE the critics view on this, it truly is an amazing movie and like all amazing movies, it is not simply about the story irt offers, but delves far more into underlying themes than a first watch might suggest. I loved it.

300 (2006)

Sensational Epic

[10/10 · 18 March 2007]

In fact, 'Epic' would be an understatement. To put it simply, 300 is a revolution in modern cinema, bringing back the classic 'epics' of old (Spartacus for example) and refining it to the point of perfection. No movie that I've seen has come close to the sheer power and ferocity that encompasses 300, coupled together with the fascinating story of the might of the Spartans against the incomparable number of Persians.

Visually, well, it's just mind-blowing. Reminiscent of Sin City and Gladiator, the direction and color offers a unique and awe-inspiring feel and energy to the movie. The CGI is just fantastic, portraying some truly frightening beasts and unsettling warriors. The battle scenes make The Two Towers battle scene look like a bunch of drunken hooligans at the bar, but then again, 300 did not hold back on the onslaught of blood and gore, no complaints there.

The only possible negativity I could see in the movie is that maybe the excessive violence won't suit some, but the fact is, the genre it's in, the comic it's based on and the story that ensues, you'd have to be crazy to think it isn't apt. 300 is a classic of our time and a milestone in cinematic history. Simple as that.

Spirited Away (2001)

An exceptional masterwork in animation with a cluttered conclusion

[9/10 · 17 March 2007]

First of all, watch this movie with subtitles. I cannot stress enough the amount lost with the americanized translation and the unnecessary dialog used to satisfy over-sentimental western audiences with the dubbed 'Disney' voice-overs.

Spirited Away is a visual splendor like no other and it's unusual technique of being completely hand-drawn does not create a lack of quality but in contrast makes you appreciate the astonishing imagery and magical burst of color. Indeed, this alone makes this movie stand-out above all others. But it doesn't rely on its excellent animation alone.

The story is simple but no doubt carries complex themes, to which immediately makes this more than a 'kids' movie, as cynics would suggest. In saying that, this movie can appeal to all ages and equally be interpreted differently to children as to adults. It will keep you intrigued to the end as the fantasy tale twists and turns and brings you to an enchanted land of mystical madness like no other.

But unfortunately, I was of slight disappointment with the ending, seemingly rushed and disorganized and not justice to the spectacle just witnessed. Without this fault, it would surely be a classic in my eyes, however, it is incredible nonetheless. I would recommend it to anyone, not just animé fans, as it manages to serve up a great plot and dialog to match its beautifully crafted animation. Excellent.

Premonition (I) (2007)

Not Great - Consistent Mediocrity

[4/10 · 16 March 2007]

The story of 'Premonition' is pretty much in the title, Sandra Bullock starts to wake up to what seems to be any random day in the near future and then is flung back into the present the very next day she wakes up, presumably to prevent any events from happening, to fix something and so on and so forth.

Unfortunately it's execution is quite poor. It's very clumsy in its approach and there's a frightening amount of plot holes. Very few elements of the movie are satisfyingly resolved at the end and it's attempts at tension are clichéd at best, to which they play unsettling violin music until it's so loud that you predict a shocking event to occur, but it's just not very thrilling in its delivery.

I for one, was never sure where the movie was going, it was messy in it's approach and it had that hint of confusement that you know after few watches would just make you more disinterested. Also, what was with those over-sentimental scenes that dragged on for no apparent reason? They certainly didn't give the characters any real depth or likability, which made those scenes even more pointless.

Not great. I'd say the only positivities I could draw from the film was that it had an interesting concept, and through the consistent mediocrity you were 'somewhat' intrigued as to how it concluded, only for the simple reason that you couldn't really fathom how they could string all the dodgy events that occurred together.

I suppose it's not terrible though, pretty harmless hour and a half. I just wouldn't recommend it.

The Illusionist (2006)

A great, entertaining movie, but ultimately quite flawed.

[7/10 · 7 March 2007]

The Illusionist is a tale set in early 1900's Vienna, to which it tells the story of a Magician believed to have superpowers beyond the realm of 'illusion', but when he meets with his lost love, who is now being married to the Crown Prince, accusations fly from the Prince himself as to if his tricks are indeed illusions or in fact 'magic'.

The music is great, but there's not really enough of it, the movie seems almost empty in places. The acting is superb, a great cast and a fantastic leading role played by the ever-great Edward Norton. The costume and set designs notably, are visually great and the direction is unusual but well done, especially considering the (until now) unknown director.

The movie however, has far too much missing. The ending especially, seems to be going for that 'we'll leave it up to the audience' conclusion, but the fact is it doesn't make you wonder, it just makes you frustrated. The most obvious example would be how the movie explains quite freely how a lot of the 'illusions' are done and indeed quite easily pieces together a lot of the unsolved scenes of mystery, yet refuses or even IGNORES the explanation of the most significant parts of the movie.

However, This movie is quite entertaining, it tips along at a nice pace and is VERY intriguing, but it certainly left me disappointed. But then again, maybe I just didn't think hard enough about it. I'd still recommend it though.

Donnie Darko (2001)

One of the greatest cinematic achievements

[10/10 · 6 March 2007]

Donnie Darko tells the story of a delusional teenager who begins to see visions of a a man in a blue bunny suit, who orders him to do certain tasks through suggestive clues and voices, to which he insists he MUST do, or the world will end.

Now, really, this is a movie you must see to get the plot, if I were to give the full, detailed, complex plot it would take far too long (And will probably you leave you more stumped) to which reveals the majestic brilliance of Donnie Darko; which is that their are endless amounts of theories and interpretations, making it one of the most thought-provoking fantasy of recent years.

The acting is superb (Maggie Ghyllenhal, Jake Ghyllenhal and Drew Barrymore to name a few), the music is perfect, subtle and atmospheric and the fantastic direction, coupled with a roller-coaster ride of a storyline will leave you of utmost interest and intrigue like no other movie. Not only that, but you will find yourself watching it more than a few times, as it will stick in your mind until you reveal your own personal interpretation (To which you may experience a Donnie Darko 'phase' which I did, warning: It WILL take up a sizable chunk of your life).

But adding to the already deep and complex storyline, there are also a vast amount of underlying themes, most noticeable the character Patrick Swayze plays, in which it represents a false 'superior', referring clearly to religion.

Donnie Darko is truly a classic, one of my favorite films and I recommend it to anyone. Incredible.

Rocky Balboa (2006)

Not bad at all

[7/10 · 4 March 2007]

...And certainly the second best 'Rocky' out there.

The story is pretty simple, one would expect for such a movie and there'd be nothing worse than trying to be over-complex with the subject matter. Basically, Rocky is pretty bummed in life, his son is annoyed with him for over-shadowing his own achievements, his wife Adrian has died and times are changing. Alas, when a computer-generated mock-up fight of current heavyweight champion, Mason 'the Line' Dixon, against The Italian Stallion, Rocky Balboa, is shown on television, demands amongst boxing fans ensue for an actual fight between the two. Rocky regains his fighting spirit and a determination to take up the opportunity, which leads to an unforgettable Rocky grand finale.

A lot of the movie however, is surprisingly slow-paced. Not necessarily a bad thing though, it does allow for intriguing scenes of character depth, especially in Balboa himself, but don't expect a fast, intense 'boxing' movie, as it primarily aims towards more of a sentimental story of Rockys fall and rise, which no doubt implies a strong sense of morality.

The last quarter however, on the contrary, is an adrenaline fuelled tour de force shining Rocky's impeccable strength and determination, which is not only emotionally inspirational, but an excellent ending to the Rocky series.

It is a great movie, not quite as good as Rocky, but I hardly expected it to be. Although flawed in parts, perhaps one too many clichés, it will definitely satisfy Rocky fans and movie fans alike.

Epic Movie (2007)

Horrendous

[1/10 · 4 March 2007]

What a failure. Not that I expected it to be any better than awful, but I was horribly surprised to find it was to be the most humorless, pointless waste of time and it's existence provided more towards a torture device than a movie that is just plain unfunny.

OK, it parodies COMEDIES...FUNNIER than it. No, I won't even say 'parody', more, references ENTIRE scenes to recreating these comedies, of course emptying these scenes of any of the far funnier jokes that were in the original. How clever of them to basically rip off (NOT parody) comedies far superior to the movie itself and derive it of any of the redeeming qualities. It's just so logical too! I'm not going to review this any longer, if you can't get the picture that this is a crap movie from the dire review on IMDb or indeed any review from someone with half a brain cell, then I suggest you do this, push someone over so they fall and shout tedious derogatory words and you might get an idea of the various horrific punchlines used to substitute for the lack of clever scriptwriters.

If you can't comprehend these warnings then I'm sorry to say, you're incredibly low in intelligence and probably need to see a doctor. Meaning, Epic movie is just for you! For the love of god, just avoid.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)

A True Masterpiece

[10/10 · 2 March 2007]

People like to throw the term 'Masterpiece' around and rarely is it ever as apt and as TRUE when concerning Sergio Leone's The Good the Bad and The Ugly.

I mean, where to start? How about the music for instance, Morricone writes truly inspirational and masterful work, sure, everyone knows the theme tune, but his music has influenced EVERY western reference since. He captures the mood, the emotion and makes this movie EPIC with his wonderfully orchestrated scores. The landscapes and scenery are visually stunning and it's perfectly filmed for true atmosphere, intertwining with the aforementioned music, well it's nothing short of magnificent. Every scene is influential and significant, and equally as intriguing. The acting by Clint Eastwood can take no other meaning but 'cool'. He is what every gun-slinging', cigarette chewing cowboy is based on post-this and no doubt has inspired TONS of action heroes (Or indeed Villains) throughout cinema.

But the storyline isn't as basic as one would first imagine: three gunmen searching for a rather large sum of money, it seems that simple. However, all of the gunmen have complex personalities and none are flawless in moral judgment, to which it is hard to judge who is indeed 'Good', 'Bad' or 'Ugly'. The classic 'Good Versus Evil' situation that is such a frequent theme in film (And coincidentally, more often in westerns) is slightly blurred in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly and I personally think there is no definite and it is left up to the viewer to decide.

This movie is simply essential viewing, an all-time classic and much deeper than would first appear. Incredible.

The Departed (2006)

Fantastic Thriller/Crime movie

[10/10 · 2 March 2007]

Wow! Martin Scorsese is a genius. What an accomplishment, completely deserved of the various awards it was given and easily a future classic.

The movie tells the story of Frank Costello (Played by the magnificent award-worthy Jack Nicholson), a leader of the Irish Mafia, to which he places various people into the Masachusetts Police Academy, in order to gain high roles in authority. However, when Billy Costigan (Played by a surprisingly on-fire Dicaprio) goes undercover for the MPA, in order to infiltrate the Irish Mafia, both begin to smell a rat in each others organizations and things get tense and let it be said, violent.

Superbly done, intelligent, cleverly-crafted dialog and a genuinely simple story with underlying complexities makes The Departed an intense, intriguing thriller, coupled with a fantastic cast makes this a personal favorite and no doubt the feeling is mutual amongst many others.

Simply a must see.

Hannibal Rising (2007)

An underrated horror/thriller let down slightly by length

[7/10 · 28 February 2007]

Reading the reviews I couldn't help but wonder why it got such a low 5.8, indeed I'm only giving it a percentage higher, but after watching it I was convinced it would please every fan of previous Hannibal Lector related movies and indeed horror fanatics in general. I still do believe after reading the criticism that some people are being a too harsh and should most definitely ignore Silence of the Lambs when considering judgment. This movie is stand-alone and far above the average of the usual modern crap the horror genre has coughed up as of late, which basically relies solely on loud noises and big flashes.

Hannibal Rising tells us the disturbing tale of infamous serial killer, Hannibal Lector, starting from the beginning of when his monstrous, blood-hungry attitude came about. Set during and after the war, the horrific atmosphere is set, when both of Hannibals parents die and he and his sister, Mischa, is captured by Nazi's in what looks like the dead of winter. After a brutal event occurs, Hannibal wants vengeance on all who captured him and his beloved sister, to which the thriller-like tone is set for the movie.

First of all, the acting is superb. I didn't think Gaspard Ulliel could manage to live up to the twisted, disturbing villain that is Hannibal Lecter of past movies (Anthony Hopkins of course), but somehow he managed to leave you just as genuinely afraid by his own unique, unsettling performance. The cast alongside him are strong also, despite being relatively unknown.

The music is atmospheric and is reminiscent of Lecter movies of old to which it is perfectly apt with the dark, moody scenery of France. Their is plenty of squeamish moments to leave any hardcore Horror fan wincing and equally enough tense, thrilling moments to keep anyone enthralled and intrigued.

However, this movie is not without its flaws. Firstly, it's far too long, there are just too many dull scenes that the movie could've done without. Secondly, there was nothing truly 'scary' about the movie, a lot of the blood and gore in the movie was thriller-like stuff, as my aforementioned point suggests, it WILL leave you gasping in shock, but nothing in this movie will make you jump. This might not be taken as a negative point to most, but I was expecting more shocks.

Not much else to fault, I advise you to give this movie a chance and try to look at it as an independent film rather than part of a series. By no means is this a 'fantastic' movie, but a good one nonetheless. Well worth the watch.

The Number 23 (2007)

A hugely interesting concept, well executed, with some dubious twists

[8/10 · 23 February 2007]

The Number 23 is a fascinating story about the obsessions individuals have with the number 23 and indeed how the number can ruin those individuals lives. A unique concept that I believe was very well executed, Jim Carrey plays a fantastic role, unusual to a lot of his others and he pulled it off excellently. It's very intriguing, fast-paced and has fantastic direction and camera work and is visually brilliant.

But unfortunately, there are quite a few flaws, mainly the twists. Obviously, at risk of spoiling the movie, I won't mention them, but the fact is, there's something disappointing on how the events unfold. Indeed there are a few surprises in store and it is no doubt thought-provoking, but the ending seems cluttered. Not so much 'predictable' as I've read in another review, but badly executed.

All in all though, it's a really great movie with plenty of original ideas and interesting concepts to make it memorable. 8 out of 10.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)

A movie carried by you-know-who...

[8/10 · 19 February 2007]

Now, these movies can't be taken too seriously. The storyline is silly, the dialog is silly and the concept is silly, with one extraordinary exception: Jim Carrey, who, in contrast, uses his extremely intelligent wit and hugely humorous body actions to make this movie what it is, hilarious.

The fact is, this mans arguably a genius, he made a possibly average, run-of-the-mill, 'straight to TV' comedy into an all-time classic. You can switch your brain off and literally laugh yourself to tears watching the scenes in which he acts in. He CARRIES this movie, no doubt and his performance in this is extremely underrated. Being one of his first major roles and to actually manage to single-handedly make this movie what it is with his sheer brilliance at being a comedian-actor, well, it should not be overlooked.

But of course, it has it's flaws. The fact is, the scenes without Carrey (Albeit, they're not many of them) really just shows this movie doesn't have much else going for it besides the man himself. Many of the other actors/actresses (Including Courtney Cox) just aren't funny. But this movie, in my opinion, deserves an 8, because it's just really showcasing Jim Carreys excellence. Watch it and believe me, you'll get hooked!

Hot Fuzz (2007)

Yarrp!

[10/10 · 19 February 2007]

Hot Fuzz: The story tells us of an over-active 'policeman officer', Nicholas Angel (Played by the co-star of Shaun of the Dead, Simon Pegg) who is sent to work his duties out in the countryside, to avoid his use of excessive arrests. Suspicions arrive in the town however, as people start getting killed 'accidentally'. Coupled with his rather unprofessional partner Danny Butterman (Similiarily played by Shaun of the Dead star Nick Frost) they get themselves into suspicious circumstances Nicholas Angel fails to ignore.

But what can I say? It's just hilarious! An incredibly funny, witty, intelligent British comedy that manages to bring you to tears with laughter and also offers extremely well directed and executed action scenes! If you liked the likes of Shaun of the Dead, you'll love this, simple as that. I was oddly surprised to find that it was incredibly violent, albeit, in a cartoony way, but it will definitely make you squint. Plenty of cameo's by the likes of the hilarious Bill Bailey and a great cast will make this a action/thriller/comedy hard to forget! Excellent.

Grave of the Fireflies (1988)

Heartbreaking, Upsetting, Beautiful, Brilliant.

[10/10 · 10 December 2006]

To describe the emotion of this film in words is like trying to describe how food tastes to another specie, it just cannot be explained without experiencing it yourself. This movie will literally bring you to utter sadness within minutes and will continue to do so for 90 more. It will bring out a range of emotions throughout the film but most of them being heartbreaking scenes of turmoil and complete shock towards the events that unfold. But it is just beautiful in its delivery. The animation and dialog of both Seita and Setsuko makes you feel so much for them and this is why this film works so much. It will move you like no other movie and to that I applaud it. The animation is superb, beautiful landscapes, masterful drawings and an incredible use of color to which it is a visual masterpiece.

The story tells of a brother andhis small sister in a fight against poverty during WW2. It is most definitely anti-war, but it does not point fingers, because it doesn't need to. It does not want the viewer to feel anger towards the circumstances of the war, it wants you to feel strong emotions for the consequences and effects it had on people DURING the war.

This is an unforgettable piece of film that shows the sheer honesty Japan has towards the past events and I recommend it to anyone.

Powerful, heartbreaking, upsetting, beautiful and utterly brilliant.

Amazing.

The Prestige (2006)

Excellent!

[9/10 · 22 November 2006]

The Prestige is a superb movie that tells the story of two rival magicians trying to outdo each others magic tricks, sometimes without mercy. It's visually brilliant, the tricks that are performed on screen are fantastic to watch. The acting is brilliant, "Batman vs. Wolverine", with Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman playing great lead roles and Scarlett Johansson and Michael Caine playing really good supporting roles. But the story and plot, what the movie relies on, is fantastic. Plenty of twists and turns to keep you captivated and enough drama to keep you interested. Some of the twists are bit...well, odd, but otherwise, pretty flawless in its delivery.

Great movie, a must-see for 2006.

Akira (1988)

Simply amazing.

[10/10 · 22 November 2006]

Wow. What can I say? Well, nothing to justify the absolute mind-bending Anime that I thankfully picked up on DVD. Akira tells us the story of Neo-Tokyo in utter turmoil, just after a massive war, in which the cause is unknown for a lot of the movie. Motorbike gangs rule the road, but when Tetsuo is taken away by the government after a collision with a mysterious boy, all hell breaks loose as he is put under scientific experiments.

The animation is fantastic, impossible to tell that it was made nearly 20 years ago. It has probably the most stunning landscapes and detail that I have ever seen in an animation, bar none. The story is complex and thought provoking, not short of hidden messages and subtle references to the holocaust. It paces along nicely and never fails to keep a viewer tense and interested. It's moving, mind--blowing, intense action-fantasy that won't fail to keep you entertained.

Super Mario Bros. (1993)

Horrible

[1/10 · 19 November 2006]

Before watching this, I couldn't possibly fathom on how a Mario movie COULDN'T capture at least some of the Mario magic and fun of the games, but somehow, this movie managed to pull off the near-impossible by making it completely on the contrary to ANY of the classic Mario games, and here's how.

The characters, set designs, plot and atmosphere was just awful. Goombas were about 3 times the size of Mario and yet in the games you're supposed to be able to jump on their heads. Bo-bomb was frickin' wind-up toy, Toad was a busking hobo that ends up in prison, Luigi and Mario rarely wear there classic red and green and the girlfriends of the two were more like hookers than princesses (Not to mention there was no sign of peach). The set designs were just plain wrong. Dark, set at night mostly, a city feel and an all-round depressing atmosphere. For mario fans you will remember blue skies, green grass, happy music and a joyous atmosphere. Don't expect this here. What I'm trying to say is that this is as un-Mario as you can get and I really don't know what bright spark thought up the terrible ideas.

If I wasn't a Mario fan or indeed had never played the games, it would still be just an awful movie. In fact, being a Mario fan I was more bias towards the movie, not wanting it to be a disaster like it unfortunately ended up to be.

Avoid at all costs.

A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

Why Spielberg, why?

[7/10 · 11 November 2006]

I'll say this with a sigh and I don't want to say this, but I was really disappointed with this movie. But let me explain how this film got a high and an above average 7 out of ten.

This is what I felt for the first say, 1hour 45 minutes. I felt this movie was one of the most thrilling, exciting, sad, brilliant movies of the decade. And I don't throw compliments like that around often. Hayley Joel Osmont played a stunning, captivating role that is Oscar worthy and Jude Law did a mighty fine job also. In fact, the acting all round was quite impressive. Visually, well, it was flawless. The directing, the lighting, the special effects, the robots, all perfect, the music was moving and atmospheric and intertwined with the movies disturbing and oddball theme and it never failed to offer heart-wrenching moments and tense, unnerving scenes. The movie went along at a fast enough pace, jumping quickly from one section to another perfectly and hit all the right emotions that made you actually feel for the robots. Very symbolic in places, especially the FLESH FAIR which was a direct hint towards the holocaust. The future was predicted well, quite possible in fact and it wasn't too ridiculous to be imaginable. The settings, scenery and ambiance was just advanced enough to have a futuristic tone, but restricted enough to be possible. In a nutshell, this film is pretty hard to criticize. Well, this is what I thought, until after the scene that changed everything.

*spoiler warning* I remember the start of the movie had an introductory narrative, explaining the worlds conditions and such and how the story would begin. Much, much later in the movie the voice returned, whilst David is submerged under water and pleading with blue fairy statue to make him a real boy. The voice returned in a fashion that the movie would end. The voice explains how David kept pleading and how did so for over 2000 years. At this point I thought this movie was amazing and one of my favorites, the perfect ending to the movie and a really moving and exceptionally thought provoking ending to AI. But no, Spielberg had to give us more. And a really awful ending entails.

In short, it shows David breaking out of the ice 2000 years later and meeting up with a group of badly designed, unimaginative aliens that would let him see his mother for one more day. At this point, all the humans have become extinct and therefore, of course, his mother has died. But somehow these aliens manage to use bits of people to recreate the humans perfectly for one more day. An over-sentimental, over-emotional and a particularly "Disney" scene follows, that is dragged out, embarrassing, out of context with the rest of the movie, sickeningly happy and downright awful. This movie was always disturbing and off-the-wall and this ending is just a complete contrast that just does not fit. It literally ruined a movie that had the full potential to be a classic, yet the last 15 minutes, Spielberg did a "fairy-tale ending on it" and ruined it. I can't explain how utterly crap it is and I actually felt angry and depressed that something as simple as a conclusion can ruin a spectacular experience. A dark ending to a dark movie was the way to go, was the way to create a masterpiece, but Stephen Spielberg obviously had his way and destroyed.

I strongly urge people to watch this movie, but I also strongly suggest you stop it after the second narrative kicks in. Until then, I would've given it a perfect 10 out of ten, but nothing denies that Spielberg made a fatal mistake.

What a pity.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (1998 Video Game)

The perfect gaming experience.

[10/10 · 7 October 2006]

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is by far, the greatest gaming experience on ANY format. The game is flawless in its delivery and is as close to perfection that you can get. In fact I pity ANY game that tries to capture the magic that Ocarina so exceptionally did, as it is impossible. It takes a gamers dream and recreates it to the point of being called a "Masterpiece". Impossible to criticize, impossible to dislike, this game has everything.

The plot is as "fantasy-warrior" as you can get, as it tells the dark story of a young boy that is in a forest to which he doesn't belong. A boy that is different to his fellow peers and has a need for adventure. Asked by a mysterious fairy named "Navi", LINK soon starts a magical adventure that see's a dark lord "Ganondorf" slowly destroying Hyrule. Through the help of his time travelling instrument, the Ocarina of Time, he must travel from child to adult in order to stop what Ganondorf is planning. The story is perfect, a flawless plot that has in it the potential to capture everything a fantasy-obsessed human needs, and boy does it deliver.

Starting with the graphics, well, in short, they are AMAZING. Keeping in mind this game is 8 years old, the graphics still stand up to any game out today. The breathtaking scenery of hyrule is almost POWERFUL in its emotion. Riding your horse through the field of Hyrule, you feel incredible; Watching the sunset go down at Lake Hylia, you feel spellbound and gazing at the beautifully detailed towns makes you FEEL like you're living in the town of Kakoriko. The literally jaw-dropping scale of the land you explore, and the monsters you slay, never ceases to leave you holding your breath. The graphics are beautiful and polished to say the least, and not "Just for an N64 game", but for any video game.

The combat system, action AND the weapons and items you collect are anything you'd ever want, and more. You can find LOADS of ways to kill the 100's of different beasts and creatures courtesy of the 15 + weapons you can collect. Swords, Bow and Arrow, Boomerang, Hookshot, Megaton Hammer, Bombs,slingshot etc. are just a few of the weapons on offer. The combat system is, and I know I use this word a lot when describing OOT, perfect. You literally just go in there and find whatever way you can to kill whatever is attacking you. The action is intense, epic and dramatic. Whether it's running in and out of the way of a giant fire breathing dragon, or hacking at a phantom that comes rapidly out of one of many paintings, you'll be kept on your toes at all times.

But it's not all non-stop action, Ocarina of Time requires you to think a whole lot. The dungeons are literally packed with brain-bending puzzles that needs complete focus to figure them out.

The music is beautiful and enchanting, absolutely perfect for the gaming experience that it provides. Its dark and mystical, the scores that are created are some of the best around, and is made even better by your own personal Ocarina that you can play. The music is deep and emotional and provides hugely towards the emotion you feel towards the game. For example, while strolling through the town of Kakoriko and Lon Lon Ranch, you feel happy and relaxed, as the music is lazy and slightly upbeat. Through Hyrule field you feel intense and ready for action, as the music is fast and...well... "Warrior"-Like! When your in dungeons and bosses however, the music is dark and slightly disturbing in places, suiting perfectly the intensity and tension that is flowing through the game. The scores written on the ocarina are epic and dramatic and full of emotion and atmosphere, that is both moving and breath-taking.

But the game isn't only adventure, you can get yourself involved in a massive amount of fun and enjoyable activities. Horse Riding for example, is great. There is nothing better than experiencing the beautiful scenery on horseback. You can take part in many weapon-related games in towns, such as archery games, slingshot games and bombchu games and a big part of the game that will see you saying goodbye to a big chunk of your life is surprisingly, fishing in Lake Hylia. It sees you fishing in a relaxing, lazy environment as you stand there with a rod and try to catch a big fish. A nice break from the action that provides challenges in its own right. You can also take part in sub-missions, such as selling masks to a variety of different people, getting such weapons as the BigGoron Sword that is not needed in the main adventure (But is VERY handy) and you can even get your own cow.

The game has about 100 hours of gameplay, the main adventure taking about 40 hours and the rest of the game taking about 60, which you wouldn't find in games today. This game requires you to get approximately 70 pieces of heart, around 100 golden skulltula's, 4 bottles, 8 special poes, large wallet, full amount of arrows, bombs, deku seeds, bomchu's AND deku nuts, deku sticks, light, ice and fire arrows, about 20 different weapons, 3 different types of sword, shield, shoes and tunics, 2 types of gauntlets, 2 different ocarinas, around 6 hidden fairies that will provide a variety of different upgrades including 3 magical god powers (Dins fire, Nayrus Love and Fayroras Wind), double defense and the power to lift giant triforce blocks, a variety of different sword techniques and finally around ten different ocarina tunes. And you know what? I probably forgot a few things.

As long a review as this is, it doesn't do justice to this monumental, legendary gaming experience. This is as close to a masterpiece as you can get.

Goodnight Mr Tom (1998 TV Movie)

Poor Adaptation

[5/10 · 3 September 2006]

Firstly I would like say, this film was a poor adaptation of a good book. The fact is, it does not translate well to cinema. Firstly, they got Willy Beech wrong. He looks about 12 or 13 in the movie, whilst in the book he was 9. He didn't seem so innocent or so vulnerable and in fact sometimes he seemed a bit of brat. The Willy in the book was incredibly weak and timid and you actually felt tremendous pity for him, something on the contrary in the movie. Also, something you can't blame the movie for, but is still a negativity, is the short length of the movie. Everything seemed rushed, and it would jump quite happily from one event to the other, while in the book the point was to show the steady progress in Willy. They got Zach and Willy's friendship nearly non-existent (Considering they were supposed to be best of friends), and when Zach dies, you can't really understand too much why Willy would be so shocked, especially if you hadn't read the book and realize how close they were. And so much for the "Horrors of War", this movie definitely did not show any signs that the World War 2 was affecting anyone, even when Tom goes to London, he just seems to walk around happily asking where "Willy" is.

But hypothetically if I ignored the comparison with the book, it would still be pretty average. Not AWFUL, but definitely not above the average and especially not worthy of an "8.1" rating. A big plus however is the acting by John Thaw (playing Tom Oakley) which is a joy to watch on screen. In a nutshell however, this is a poorly executed movie that had a lot of potential from the high standard of the novel.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)

Amazing, humorous and shocking.

[10/10 · 29 August 2006]

I watched this movie for the very first time yesterday and I have to say, it blew me away and is definitely one of my all-time favorites. This tells the story of Mcmurphy (Played by the incredible Jack Nicholson) who gets put into mental institution after a number of incidents. From there on in, you are captivated by the witty cast of the institution (Including Christopher Lloyd) who produce some hilarious and entertaining scenes in the ward. But the plot thickens and you begin to realize the shocking tales that occur and the story twists and turns. You are literally holding your breath from start to finish and it is also one of the most thought-provoking ends to a movie.

The nurse Ratched, played by an excellent Louise Fletcher, is ice cold in her attitude and you really grow to hate her. In fact, every character in the movie is absorbed into your mind and you really get to know them. You feel for the characters like you would feel for people that aren't acting, and provokes the question, why are those that inhabit a mental institution so ignored and turned away from society?

In a nutshell, this is an amazing, humorous and shocking piece of movie-making that everyone should watch, you won't be disappointed.