jimhills Reviews

The Omen (2006)

Pretty Good, if you have forgot the original

[7/10 · 16 June 2006]

www.kajatm.com The Omen Surprise, Surprise no new ideas out of Hollywood. In the last recycled storyline out of Hollywood, The Omen is a remake of the 1976 classic horror flick based on Damien whom is the Son of Satan. Even though it is a remake and to my disappointment because I was really looking forward to blasting this movie The Omen was actually pretty good.

The only characters that everyone will recognize in this film are Julia Stiles, Pete Postlethwaite aka Koybyashi (The Usual Suspects) and Liev Schreiber (The Manchurian Candidate). I would mention the child actor that played Damien but I believe he had about 2 lines of dialog in the entire movie.

The film begins with the audience discovering that all the signs that the Son of Satan is coming to earth are being tracked by the Catholic Church and such events as 9/11 and all the fighting in the world shows that the time of Satan's son return is upon us. What I really want to know is if there is a Catholic division that tracks all of the priests that are molesting little boys? Sure the return of Satan is a big deal, but molesting little kids is no little item but that is neither here nor there.

Next we discover that up and coming political leader Robert Thorn (Liev Schreiber) and his wife Kate Thorn (Julia Stiles) are expecting the birth of their first child. However, the child "supposedly" dies in child birth which could be potentially crushing for both parents. But just like Monte Hall, a priest shows up and wants to make a deal. Lucky for both Kate and Robert the priest has an extra baby just waiting for them however he forgets to disclose that this baby is the Son of Satan and one would think that this would be a detail that you might want to mention.

After this we go into Robert's and Kate's life over the next couple of years in a made for the movies slide show. This takes us to present time and how the baby they have adopted is truly evil and how they are going to handle this situation. From here we have a lot of killing, traveling to find out about Damien, killing, more plotting to kill, planning and eventually the open door ending.

The only thing that really disappointed me about this movie was the sound track. Unlike the original there wasn't the chanting music in the background. This was highly disappointing because that music is about the only thing that stands out in my head about the original. How is a guy supposed to know that something bad is going to happen without the chanting music in the background? How I ask you, How! One thing that I think is worth mentioning is the release date of this movie. While a little bit corny you have to give it to 20th Century Fox for coming up with the brilliant marketing scheme to release this movie on 6/6/06. But this kind of marketing makes me wonder which came first, the idea of remaking the movie or the fact that some big wig at 20th Century Fox is patting himself (or herself) on the back for noticing that 6/6/06 was coming up and that it would be a good idea to make a movie that would take full advantage of that day.

I really did like this movie. There are a lot of good jump out of your seat moments and overall the storyline flows together very well. The kid that they picked to play Damien did an excellent job of looking creepy throughout the entire film however his acting ability is still unknown as his lines of dialog were limited. If you are a fan of horror movies or you are looking to scare your date into your arms I would recommend taking the time to go see this movie. But then again, what do I know?

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

Not as good at #2 but very good anyway

[9/10 · 7 June 2006]

www.kajatm.com

X-Men The Last Stand is the third installment of the X-Men series and in my opinion it is one of the few trilogies that actually lives up to the hype. From beginning to end this movie is non stop action and contains a lot of special effects that are pretty cool and pretty creepy at the same time but more on that later.

Staring Patrick Stewart (Professor X), Ian McKellen (Magneto), Famke "Hot" Janssen (Dr. Jean Grey/Phoenix), Kelsey Grammar (Beast), Hugh Jackman (Wolverine), Anna "Hot" Paquin (Rogue), Vinnie Jones (Juggernaut), Rebecca "Hot" Romijn (Mystique) and Halle "Too Hot for Words" Berry (Storm), X-Men The Last Stand should win an award just for casting. When I first heard that Kelsey Grammar was going to be playing Beast I thought to myself, "Self, Dr. Fraiser Crain can't play Beast", but and this doesn't happen very often I was wrong. He does an excellent job of portraying the intelligent side of Beast and because of make-up and special effects he does an excellent job of making the audience believe his mutant side. The other new addition that is worth mentioning is Vinnie Jones and honestly I couldn't think of a better person to play a bad ass like Juggernaut. Vinnie Jones is one of my favorite bit actors and has done an excellent job in such movies at Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch and Gone in 60 Seconds. If you need someone to play a bad ass, Vinnie Jones is the man for you. The only issue I had with his character is how they made his body look so big. Granted Juggernaut is supposed to be a huge unstoppable force but you could really tell that he was just wearing a body suit.

There really are two main story lines going on in X-3. First is the creation of a new medicine that gives mutants the ability to go back to normal humans. Of course this causes a riff in the mutant community. Magneto is leading a group of rebel mutants that will stop at nothing until the cure is eliminated. The X-Men represent the other side of the coin and spend much of the movie trying to stop Magneto. The other storyline is how Dr. Jean Grey survived after being consumed by a ton of water in X2 because of her hidden mutant talent. Because of the extreme stress of this event it causes her to become the Phoenix, a level 5 mutant that has the ability to pretty much kick the crap out of any other mutant. These two story lines of course intersect at the end.

****Warning! Potential Spoilers in the Next Paragraph! The only thing that really upset me about this movie is that I knew the X-Men series of movies is coming to an end. I started to think that after all the characters that were killed off that we'd never see another X-Men movie. But you need to stay until after the credits have ended. There is an additional scene that if my friend Ken did not know about I would have never ended up seeing. This scene pretty much opens up a door for another X-Men movie and God willing that will happen.

Now for the special effects in this movie. The scene where Magneto rescues Mystique is just awesome and well worth the price of admission. What they can do with a computer is just amazing. One of the scenes at the end (and no I won't ruin it for you) that involves Wolverine and Dr. Jean Grey is also awesome. However, the scene in the beginning of the movie where Professor X and Magneto go to meet with Jean Grey is just creepy. Since the scene is supposed to happen 20 years before current times they decided to digital enhance both Professor X and Magneto's faces to appear that they were 20 years younger. In reality all it really did was freak me out. Yes they do look younger but at the same time they both look like wax figurines that have come to life. It is so distracting that I found myself concentrating on the way they looked vs. what was going on in the scene.

Overall I really enjoyed this movie. Just like Empire Strikes Back, Aliens and Lord of the Ring The Two Towers the second movie in this 3 movie set is still the best. I would recommend this movie to almost anyone except for small children. There is a lot of violence in the movie that is not appropriate for children viewing. If you are fan of the X-Men comic or just movies that are based on comic books I think that you will really enjoy this movie. But then again, what do I know?

V for Vendetta (2005)

Alphabetical Review

[7/10 · 7 June 2006]

www.kajatm.com

A for Another, this was Another movie that was good but not great.

B for Bullocks, the word Bullocks is used over and over and over again. Yes I understand you are British and this is a way to swear on screen without getting censored in the US but enough already. This word is getting very close to the word Wicked as my most hated word.

C for Confusing, this movie is often Confusing at times. Everyone speaks in English accents and at times it is hard to follow the dialog. There is one specific scene that is kind of a stretch and it is pretty much the arc of the movie so if you don't buy into it or you get confused as to why the main character did it, it makes the movie kind of confusing.

D for Dave, this is the first movie that I have seen since Dave Chappelle's Block Party so anything after that is going to be a good movie. I cannot express enough how terrible that movie was.

E for Ending, this movie has a great Ending, which I will not ruin but it will let you leave the movie theater very satisfied.

F for Fudge, as in Fudge it is hard to write a review using the entire alphabet.

G for Government, The goal of the movie was to focus on how the Government makes choices that are not in the best intentions of the people but you start to feel that this movie just might be a cut on the US government.

H for Humor, there are some very good lines in this movie which always makes a movie better.

I for Includes. This movie Includes good action, good acting, a good ending, good story line and overall a good viewing experience.

J for Jim, hey it is my review I can give myself a little shout out every once in a while.

K for Killer as in Killer visual effects, Killer fight scenes and a Killer ending.

L for Liked, I Liked this movie but I didn't love it.

M for Mask, the main character V wears a Mask the entire movie which will prompt everyone to go out and buy said mask for their Halloween costumes this year.

N for Not, this movie is Not for everyone. Definitely not a kid movie. There are several scenes that include blood spurting and killing.

O for Oh. Oh this movie was good but I was hoping that it would be great. Worth seeing but not worth purchasing and that is where I draw the line between great and good.

P for Please don't make this into a Trilogy cause I don't think I can sit through another 2+ hour move that doesn't live up to the first two. Or a movie that pretty much makes the main character into Christ.

Q for Quality, both Natalie Portman and Hugo Weaving have Quality performances in this movie. The only thing is that I was expecting was for Hugo to look at the Audience and say "Mr. Anderson" R for Rather. It was Rather nice to see this movie without paying for it. How did this happen? Well let me tell you. Ken and I invested some internet time in filling out an application for an AMC Movie Watcher Card. If you live by an AMC theater I would high recommend filling out the online application. You get cool stuff by using it like free movies and discounts on concessions.

S for Start, I am officially making this movie the Start of the summer movie season which means no more garbage movies from Hollywood like I had to see throughout February and March.

T for Thanks, Thanks to DC comics and Marvel comics to signing deals with motion picture companies to turn their comics into feature films. Keep it up.

U for Under-appreciated, Movies like V for Vendetta are often Under-appreciated because they don't teach us a moral lesson or they don't teach us something about history or they aren't about some obscure person that you don't care about. This is a good movie where you can just check your brain at the door and be at the movie for the reason you went there in the first place and that was to be entertained.

V for Vendetta, did you expect me to come up with a different V.

W for Wachowski. The Wachowski brothers have put out another quality movie which makes 3 out of their last 4 movies very good. Let's all just pretend that the last Matrix was never created.

X for X-Treme, This movie has X-Treme action from beginning to end. (I'd like to thank ESPN and all the skaters out there that decided to spell the word extreme with an X. Without that this review would not be possible.) Y for Yippee. Before the movie started we got not only a preview of the new Superman movie but we also got previews for MI3 and X-Men 3. So Yippee the summer block buster season is almost upon us which means no more snow, stuff going on during the weekends, summer festivals and most important softball.

Z for Zee, OK see doesn't start with a Z but just imagine that I am using a French accent right now. I would recommend seeing this movie at the theater if not only just to see it because of the sound factor. Seeing a movie like this at home will just not give it justice. Overall I was satisfied with my viewing experience but I wouldn't recommend you putting down whatever you are doing right now to go out and see it but if you have nothing else going on by all means make a trip to the Theater. But then again what do I know?

The World's Fastest Indian (2005)

Best Movie of 2006

[10/10 · 7 June 2006]

www.kajatm.com Finally after consecutive week of seeing Good Night and Good Luck and Firewall and I got to see a movie that was worth the admission. A movie that had a good story line. A movie that had good acting. And a movie that I would recommend to anyone of any age. Unlike Katie Holmes' parents, this movie did not disappoint me.

The World's Fastest Indian is based on the true story of Burt Munro (Anthony Hopkins), a guy from New Zealand that is obsessed with getting to the United States so he can drive his custom made Indian Motor cycle on the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah. The movie really focuses on the adversity Burt Munro had to overcome to get to the US to achieve his dream. Anthony Hopkins is excellent, like usual, in the lead role of Burt Munro and really demonstrates how Munro was an individual from a generation that was kind and courteous, a generation that was considerate of others and a generations that knew if you treated people with respect that you'd get a lot farther than being a prick. People of today can learn a lot from Burt Munro.

It is going to be a sad day when Anthony Hopkins dies and can no longer bring us great performances like this one. He has been good for so long that I think we often take his acting ability for granted. He does such a great job of portraying Munro that you eventually forget that you are watching Anthony Hopkins on screen and you start to believe that you are watching the true life story of Munro. Anthony Hopkins is what every actor in Hollywood should try to strive for with their career. He doesn't play himself; he plays an accurate representation of the characters that are put before him unlike some actors in Hollywood, Harrison Ford I am looking in your direction.

I really cannot say enough about this movie. It gives me faith in Hollywood that there are still directors out there that can make movies that are original, that have good acting and actually have a storyline that you give two shits about. As far as I am concerned directors like Roger Donaldson and Jerry Bruckheimer can keep making movies that are based on true stories because they are far more interesting than the "Blockbusters" that get put out every year. The fact that the World Fastest Indian hasn't gotten a lot of hubbub in advertisements or that it isn't playing at some of the biggest theaters in South Eastern Wisconsin speaks volumes of how the movie viewing public has been brainwashed into thinking what should be a good movie.

At this point of the year, The World's Fastest Indian is my pick for Picture of the Year. I know it is a little early but I have confidence that this movie will survive until the next nominations. I will be very surprised if Anthony Hopkins doesn't get nominated for Best Actor and wins that category but then again I am never surprised what the "Academy" does anymore. This movie doesn't have political undertones, it doesn't have two dudes humping each other on screen and it doesn't have some unbelievable thing that happens on screen that only a computer could generate. So maybe I should retract my previous statement that this is going to be nominated for picture of the year because it doesn't fall under the Academy's new definition of what a best picture should be.

Overall this was a very good viewing experience for me. If you have the opportunity and if you can find it playing at a theater near you I would recommend taking the time to see this cinematic master piece. But then again, what do I know?

Thank You for Smoking (2005)

Worth Seeing

[7/10 · 7 June 2006]

www.kajatm.com Thank You for Smoking is a satirical comedy about the Sultan of Spin, Tobacco Lobbyist Nick Naylor (Aaron Eckhardt) and his job as professional talker for Big Tobacco. Throughout the movie we follow Nick on his career for Big Tobacco, his struggle to raise his son Joey Naylor (Cameron Bright) in a way that won't go against his stance for Big Tobacco, his meetings with his MOD (Merchant of Death) friends, his professional fight with Vermont Senator Ortolan K. Finnistirre (William H. Macy) and his love relationship with Heather Holloway (Katie Holmes).

The movie opens up with Nick Naylor being a guest on a talk show that includes a panel of anti-tobacco group members and "Cancer Boy" who at the age of 15 has been diagnosed with cancer from smoking. The opening scene of this movie really sets the tone by showing how Nick Naylor and Big Tobacco have the ability to put a spin on any negative situation.

During the beginning of the movie Nick meets up with an up and coming newspaper reporter Heather Holloway (Katie Holmes) who is doing a piece on Big Tobacco. She uses Nick by sleeping with him to gain information that is supposed to off the record about Big Tobacco and his MOD friends. This results in Heather Holloway having the ability to gain inside information to write an article that is going to advance her career. This wasn't much of an acting stretch for Katie as this role is very similar to her current life. At some point in her life I bet that her agent came to her and said "Hey I have a great idea, you sleep with Tom Cruise and you'll be able to advance her career." Good job on whoring yourself out not only on screen but in real life too. Your parents must be proud.

Robert Duvall plays the original Master of Spin, Doak "The Capitan" Boykin who is a father figure to Nick Naylor. Impressed with his ability to make any situation positive for Big Tobacco, The Capitan assigns Nick to visit Hollywood Super Agent Jeff Megall (Rob Lowe) to try to convince Hollywood to put the sexiness of smoking back on screen. While visiting Jeff Megall, The Capitan wants Nick to visit Lorne Lutch (Sam Elliot), the original Marlboro Man who is dying of cancer from his years of smoking and "give" him a case of money in an attempt to bribe him from speaking out against Big Tobacco. These two scenes were some of my favorite in the movie. First, the scene with Jeff Megall really shows how Hollywood individuals can make anything possible on screen. This is best demonstrated by one line of a dialog. Jeff and Nick are talking about having a new movie in space where the main characters will smoke in a 100% oxygen environment. Since smoking in that kind of environment would cause an explosion Jeff decides that this can be fixed with the line, "Thank God we created the XXXXX, which gives us the ability to smoke". Second, the scene with Lorne Lutch truly demonstrates how greedy people really are. Even though Lorne is dying from his years of smoking the case of money that Big Tobacco is offering really changes his mind. I think that I really like this scene because Nick does an excellent job of using reverse psychology to get Lorne to take the money.

The movie ends with a one on one show down between Senator Finistirre and Nick Naylor in a Senate hearing that is discussing adding skull and cross bones to cigarette labels so that everyone is aware that cigarettes are poison. Nick makes some good points in his argument against adding the labels including that everyone knows cigarettes are bad for you and showing that cigarettes aren't really much worse than eating cheese from the State of Vermont because in the end both of them are eventually going to kill you. One of my biggest issues with this scene is that Nick argues that is a parent's responsibility to educate their kids on the harmful effects of cigarettes and then in the next breath he says that if his son wants a cigarette on his 18th B-Day he would buy him his first pack. Correct me if I am wrong but isn't Nick kind of being a hypocrite? This movie has quite the star studded cast including Katie Holmes, William H. Macy, Maria Bello, Rob Lowe, Sam Elliot and Robert Duvall. Between William H. Macy, Sam Elliot and Robert Duvall this was bound to be a good movie. Honestly I could watch a movie of these three guys if the entire movie consisted of them just going to the Zoo for the day. I really enjoyed this movie and I would recommend anyone seeing it. I think that I would have enjoyed it a lot more if all the good lines to the movie weren't shown in the trailers that I had seen. It wasn't as good at The World Fastest Indian or Match Point, but it came in a close second.

But then again, what do I know?

Stay Alive (2006)

Good Idea, Just not a good delivery

[5/10 · 7 June 2006]

www.kajatm.com

Since the early 80's Hollywood and the major video game producers have been teaming up in an "If you scratch our back we'll scratch yours" philosophy. This all started with the movie The Wizard and not very shocking was also Fred Savage's last major motion picture. But since that time we've had video games that have become movies (Silent Hill, Doom, Final Fantasy and Resident Evil) and movies that have become video games (Spiderman, X-Men and Star Wars). Stay Alive is yet another twist on the video game craze. Stay Alive is a movie about a video game coming to life and killing the people that play it which if you think about it might just be the most blatant rip off the movie the Ring.

The storyline of Stay Alive is about a group of early 20's kids that come into possession of an underground video game called Stay Alive after Hutch MacNeil's (Jon Foster) foster brother is killed just like the way he died in the video game. This video game is based on the urban legend (I don't know if you can call it an urban legend when you make up the urban legend for the purposes of making the movie) of "The Blood Countess" whom is one angry spirit that will not be happy until all that play the game are killed. After the shortest mourning period in the history of funerals, Hutch MacNeil, Abigal (Samarie Armstrong), Swink Sylvania (Frankie Muniz), October Bantum (Sophia Bush), Phineus Bautum (Jimmi Simpson), and Miller (Adam Goldberg) all decided that the best way to honor the dead is to play the video game. This is not a good idea since if you die in the game you die for real. After Miller and Phineus are mysteriously killed the exact same way that they die in the video game the main characters start to get suspicious that something might be wrong with the game. This causes the main characters to come up with some sort of plan to stop what is happening.

When I went into this movie my expectations were set so low that I was destined to enjoy this movie. However that doesn't mean that there aren't about 1000 plot holes in this movie and hundreds of questions that pop up because of those plot holes. Here are some examples of the questions that I have so if anyone has the answers please feel free to send me an email: 1) How did the video get created? 2) Does the "The Blood Countess" have a team of ghost video game programmers working for her? 3) Exactly how did the video game get distributed? 4) How can a video game play on it's own? 5) Did "The Blood Countess" create the game with hopes that someone would beat the game so she could get killed at the end?, I think she might have made the game so it wouldn't have an ending where she would get killed. 6) I hate it when Hollywood kills people off in a movie based on their pay scale, why do they do that? 7) Why don't the cops ever believe the stories that the victims tell them? 8) Why didn't the main characters get arrested at the end? 9) Why does Frankie Muniz get killed in the game but doesn't die for real? 10) Why don't the main characters just take the game out and destroy it, I am pretty sure that if the game is destroyed you can't die in the game 11) Why do we need the cheesy storyline of Hutch being afraid of fire, we all know that is going to come into play later. 12) How does the game get formatted for PS2? 13) Where does the game get distributed from? 14) Why is it OK to show graphic deaths in video game form yet it isn't OK to show blood and guts in movie format? 15) Why can the ghosts hurt you in real life yet you can't hurt them, that doesn't seem fair. 16) How is the video game voice activated when there are no video games that I know of that are? 17) Is a rose really the best weapon they could come up with? 18) And finally, Why is Frankie Muniz so short? He is like 36 year old and the only person he can tower over is Webster.

By no means is this movie good. But I really wasn't that upset with it when I left the theater and I don't really know why. After reviewing all the questions that I have one would get the impression that I hated this movie but I really didn't. I guess I really liked how they incorporated the characters playing the game and what is going on in real life. For a PG-13 movie, Stay Alive does a good job of making the audience jump but it I felt that it could have been so much better. Good idea, just not a good delivery. If you are looking for a "check your brain at the door" movie then this is the movie for you. But then again what do I know?

Slither (2006)

Just Terrible

[1/10 · 7 June 2006]

www.kajatm.com Horrible, terrible, garbage, crappy, boring, stupid, pointless, bad acting, bad movie, and shitty are all words that I would use to describe Slither. Slither, staring NO ONE, is the latest Scifi/Horror movie that is based on a meteor coming from space that contains an alien that is going to take over the world. The alien is discovered in the woods and eventually takes over the body of the father from Mall Rats. This leads to the Mall Rats father acting weird, impregnating the white trash of the town with alien worm babies and then those worm babies reeking havoc on the poor citizens of some town that doesn't exists. Of course we have the standard thriller moments and one very good gross out scene where a guy gets cut in half but outside of that this movie really sucks.

So to help out in the future here are some points for you so you can identify if you are going to be in for a bad horror movie: First: You know you are going to be in for a bad movie when within the first 5 minutes they show a CGI scene where the alien enters the hopeless locals brain and the entire budget of the movie is blown in that one scene. A perfect example of this is when the main character (and I would put his name up here but what is the point? You don't know who he is, you've never seen him in any other movies and I am pretty sure no one cares who he is) is attacked by a deer that has been taken over by the alien and said deer looks like something that you just won at a carnival. I am pretty sure I could have made a more realistic scene with a digital camera and a Winnie the Poo doll. Second: You know you are going to be in for a bad horror movie when within the first 5 minutes of the movie some random hot chick doesn't take off her top. Third: You know you are going to be in for a bad horror movie when the father from Mall Rats is one of the main characters.

This movie is just disappointing all around. James Gunn, who was the screen writer for Dawn of the Dead 2004, directed this abomination and I have a sinking feeling that this maybe where his directing career ends. But on a positive note not many people have the opportunity to know exactly when there life went terribly wrong, so Mr. Gunn you have that going for you which is nice. I have a suggestion for Mr. James Gunn, maybe after reading the script for the movie you should have used a Gunn and shot the person that presented the script to you and then filmed the whole thing because I am pretty sure it would have been a lot better than Slither.

The movie wasn't all bad, we did have at least one good gross out scene and there were several good one liners in the movie but outside of that it sucked. But never fear Hollywood, you keep producing this stuff and I will keep paying for it cause I am a sucker for horror films. Don't see this movie and if you have already seen it don't tell people that you did. This movie is very much like a one night stand, yes you had sex but you don't want anyone to find out about it so it is best just not to mention it. But then again, what do I know?

Scary Movie 4 (2006)

Worth a Rent

[7/10 · 7 June 2006]

www.kajatm.com In the fourth installment of the Scary Movie series focuses on making fun of the horror genre that comes out during the year and overall is actually pretty good. Scary Movie 4, directed by David Zucker, takes shots at movies and pop culture which includes Saw, War of the Worlds, Million Dollar Baby, The Grudge, Brokeback Mountain, The Village, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, Shaq, President Bush and Dr. Phil.

The opening scene of this movie is highly entertaining, but then again it stars Shaq so how couldn't it be? Hands down Shaq is the funniest athlete in all of sports since John Kruk has decided to be a talking head on ESPN. To open up the movie we find ourselves watching a recreation of the scene in Saw where the captives have to make a decision to either die or cut off their legs. This scene is just priceless. The two captives are portrayed by Shaq and Dr. Phil so honestly just putting those two together it has to be a good scene. I found myself laughing out loud, which doesn't happen that often, because Shaq does such a good job of making fun of himself. Of course we have a standard shot at Kobe and his in ability to make free-throws so it is kind of refreshing to see an athlete not take himself so seriously. But in this scene we also have Dr. Phil making fun of himself and the advice that he gives. So with these two factors we have a great opening scene.

The second best scene of this comedy is the recreation of The Grudge. Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris), who is much hotter with black hair by the way, recreates the scene in The Grudge where Sarah Michelle Gellar is talking to the little boy in the possessed house. This scene is just priceless because instead of using actual Japanese words to communicate with the boy Cindy just uses America words such as Nintendo, Suzuki, sushi, sumo, Mitsubishi, Toyota, etc. while all the time we get a caption on the bottom of the screen translating what they are saying into actual English. David Zucker, my hats off to you for this, good work.

I think that it is important to note that during this movie we have a recreation of Million Dollar Baby that contains Mike Tyson playing a female boxer. OK, let that sink in and for a second and just for good measure let me restate that, Mike Tyson playing a female boxer. I am willing to bet that you could have made about $1 million dollars if you made a bet 15 years ago that Mike Tyson would be in movie where he was playing a female boxer. Mike, what happened? You were once the most feared man on the planet, now you are just a punch line. But I guess that I can't really blame you? At least you are trying to pay off the debt that you are in and you haven't done what everyone has expected you to do which is either kill yourself or be in jail serving a life sentence. It is just sad to watch the athletes that you loved (yes I know it is wrong to claim that you loved Mike Tyson but I grew up in the Nintendo generation where Mike Tyson's Punch Out was the greatest video game ever made and it is hard for me to hate a guy that was the reason why I started to like boxing) to watch when you were a kid fall so far from grace.

One thing to point out that I really didn't find funny was the recreation of President Bush sitting in the classroom during the 9/11 attacks. President Harris (Leslie Nielsen) is sitting in the classroom when a secret agent comes up to him and tells him that the world is being destroyed by aliens. Instead of jumping into action President Harris tells the secret agent that he wants to stay and listen to the story to find out how it ends. Hollywood, we get it, you don't like President Bush. It is about time to let it go, don't you think? If you are going to make fun of the President why don't you come up with something that is a little more original instead of a 5 year old joke.

The movie closes with Tom Ryan (Craig Bierko) going on the O show (spoof on Oprah) to confess his love with Cindy Campbell. Again, this scene was very well done because it is just a little over the top but almost right on with the way that Tom Cruise acted on the Oprah show when he was confessing his love for Katie Holmes. And anything that takes shots at Tom Cruise and his insaneness is bound to be funny in my book.

Overall I really enjoyed this movie. It does tend to drag at times but it makes up for the slow parts with some really funny scenes. Normally I would just tell you to go out and rent this movie but because there isn't anything out right now I would recommend going to the theater to see it. Your choices are really limited right now so if you find yourself at the theater looking to see something don't rule out Scary Movie 4. But keep in mind that if you haven't seen the movies that are listed above this movie is not going to be as funny to someone that has. But then again, what do I know?

Running Scared (2006)

Don't even think about running to see this movie

[5/10 · 7 June 2006]

www.kajatm.com

Running Scared is the story of Joey Gazelle (Paul Walker), a low level Mob member whose only role in the gang is to dispose of guns that are being used in killings. The movie opens up with a bunch of mob members gathering in a hotel room doing a drug deal. During the drug deal some dirty cops come in and try to heist the money and the drugs from the mob members. Which poses the question, "Who really is the bad guy in this situation?" but a movie scene like this really isn't up for a question like that.

From the opening scene I knew that this movie was going to be out of hand. Like all drug deals that have gone wrong, someone ends up getting shot. Now this scene contains a Jamaican Drug Dealer (wow a Jamaican drug dealer there is a stretch, if I was Jamaican I would sue Hollywood for casing my people in roles that consist of either a drug dealer or the local stoner but I guess Hollywood has made up for misrepresenting the Jamaican people by making a movie like Cool Runnings, oh wait now if I'm Jamaican I'd be really mad) getting shot by a shotgun which results in him flying 8 feet across the room. Obviously Science does not exists in Hollywood, in order for this to happen the gun would have to be the size of one of those that are on the Navy Ships that they launch rockets from but I think you'd have problems concealing that under you trench coat so Science gets thrown out the window. The scene ends with all of the drug dealers getting killed, all of the mob members living and all but one dirty cops getting killed. Once leaving the scene of the crime Joey Gazelle is given the gun by Tommy Perello (Johnny Messner, you have to check out his picture on IMDb.com, he has a monkey on his shoulder. I really can't make this kind of stuff up) to dispose of because it was just used in the killing of dirty cops.

And this is where the "reality" of this movie takes off. Once Joey gets home he puts the gun in a hiding spot in his wall while his son Nicky (Alex Neuberger) and friend Oleg (Cameron Bright) watch him do it. Oleg eventually sneaks back downstairs and takes the gun. He then goes home and shoots his father in the shoulder because he beats his mother. Now the entire focus of the movie shifts to Joey having to find Oleg and the gun because if his Mob friends find out about him losing the gun he is going to get killed. The events that happen from this point forward are so far beyond belief that it is hard to describe what happens without recapping the entire movie but here are some highlights. The scenes that follow include: Oleg getting kidnapped by a homeless person, Oleg hiding the gun in a toilet at a local restaurant, Oleg getting arrested by the cops, Oleg getting beaten by his shot father in a local restaurant and probably the most confusing scene Oleg getting picked up by a couple that likes to kill children in their home. Other "realistic" scenes that happen are: Joey sneaking into a Hospital to get the slug that was put into Oleg Father's shoulder (no one question him), Joey going into a restaurant's files while walking right by the entire staff (no one questions him), Joey driving 90 miles an hour all over town to find the gun and Joey eventually getting hockey pucks fired at his head while being held down on a hockey rink that is lit up by black lights. Seriously, what kind of drugs do you have to be on to come up with a script like this? The movie eventually ends by the audience finding out that Joey (Paul Walker) is an undercover cop that is trying to take down the Russians and the Mob members he is working for. But by the time we get to this point the audience is so confused about what is going on that you lose the initial reason why Joey didn't get rid of the gun at the beginning of the movie. Honestly it really didn't hit me until I left the theater that Joey was hanging onto the guns because they could use them in arresting the Mob members. The possibility of everything happening the way it happened in the 18 hours that the movie covers is so far beyond belief that you really have to of just had a lobotomy to believe it.

Overall I wouldn't define this movie as terrible; it was more confusing than anything. I think that it is important to point out that this is not a movie that you want to take Grandparents, Mom and Dad, or anyone under 17 to. It is super violent including several scenes where people get their heads blown off. This is an action thriller made for guys. I wouldn't tell anyone to rush out and see this movie but if you are really into action thrillers then I would recommend it. The movie really doesn't have a lot of slow points and it is pretty much non-stop action from beginning to end. But then again what do I know?

Poseidon (2006)

If you have seen the original, don't waste your time.

[5/10 · 7 June 2006]

www.kajatm.com It has been said that the imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. However when it comes to remakes in Hollywood imitation often result in movies that are far worst than the original. The remakes that have actually turned out to be good, while limited, have had some success in recent years. Such movies as the Thomas Crown Affair, Ocean's 11, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Grudge and The Italian Job we very well done and have become some of my favorites. Poseidon, my friends, is not one of these movies.

Just like the original, Poseidon is the story about a new cruise ship that has been struck by a rogue wave which results in the ship flipping over and trapping the guest within the sinking ship. The main characters of the original have been replaced by Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, Richard Dreyfuss* and Jimmy Bennett. Again just like the original, a group of passengers realize that if they stay where the captain wants them to stay they are in certain doom and will end up drowning. And this is where Poseidon lost me. Where is the compelling speech from Josh Lucas, just like Gene Hackman before him, to try and convince the passengers to follow him out of the ship? The whole scene is lost without this speech. Why is it that from that point forward it seems like the whole new version of Poseidon is on fast forward? There is no plot development, no character development and basically it just seems like Wolfgang Peterson had something better to do while making this movie. I understand that the ship is sinking and they have to get off as soon as possible but I distinctly remember the original having the same story line and I didn't feel like the characters were running some obstacle course that they needed to get through in 2 minutes. I think that if he would have taken the time to watch the original he would have come to the realization that he could have put 30 more minutes in the movie and it probably would have turned out better.

The only positive thing that I saw about this movie was the scenes that showed the ship getting hit by the rogue wave. I would like to take the time to thank whoever created CGI. People flying everywhere, people dying, water taking over the boat and just the realistic destruction that they can create using a computer is really amazing. This is the only category that tops the original. But outside of that this movie left me very unsatisfied.

Some classic movies such as The Great Escape, The Dirty Dozen, Empire Strikes Back, The Magnificent Seven, The Wizard of OZ, Caddy Shack, Airplane, Jaws, Raging Bull, Cool Hand Luke, The Sting and Rear Window should automatically go on the "These Movies Reached Perfection the First Time so we are Never Ever Remaking Them!" list. Poseidon Adventure should have been one of these movies. I hate the fact that nothing is sacred in Hollywood.

Give me Gene Hackman, give me Ernest Borgnine, give me Red Buttons, give me Roddy McDowell and give me the original Poseidon Adventure. Don't give me Josh Lucas, don't give me Kurt Russell, don't give me Kevin Dillion and don't give me the new Poseidon. If you have never seen the original Poseidon Adventure I fully expect you to enjoy this movie but unfortunately I have and that ruined my movie experience. But then again, what do I know? *Why didn't someone tell me that Richard Dreyfuss now looks like he is 101 years old. What happened? Did he enter some sort of aging machine that took him from his 50's to senior citizenship?

Mission: Impossible III (2006)

Crazy Guy makes a Good Movie

[8/10 · 7 June 2006]

www.kajatm.com

Mastercard you want me to fill in the Blanks? Well here you go?

Tickets to the First Summer Blockbuster: $6.50 1 Cherry Icee: $4.00 Blowing up a Lamborghini: $250,000 Block Buster Budget: $185,000,000 Employing 4 Chinese people to shoot a 15 second shot on screen: $.04 cents *Finding out that the "voice" from the Mastercard Commercials has one eye that goes this way and one eye that goes that way: Priceless

Mission Impossible 3 is the first blockbuster movie of the year and it does not disappoint. When I entered this movie I was under the impression that I would hate it but to my surprise I ended up really enjoying this movie. The star studded cast includes Tom Cruise, Ving Rhames, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Keri Russell, Laurence Fishburne, and Jonathan Rhy Meyers (Match Point). But even with that many stars in one movie no one personality stands out or takes over the movie. Philip Seymour Hoffman does an excellent job of playing the bad guy. Tom Cruise keeps it together long enough for you to remember that he is still a great actor. Ving Rhames, well he is Ving Rhames kind of like Samuel Jackson, One Bad MF, enough said. Laurence Fishburne also does an excellent job but it is hard to get his roles for the Matrix out of my head. Keri Russell is in the movie for about a total of 10 minutes which brings up the question of , "why she is even mentioned in the opening credits?" And finally Jonathan Rhy Meyers is an up and coming star that does an excellent job and because of his role in Match Point he is 2 for 2 on my list, keep up the good work.

From beginning to end this is a great movie which unlike the past two MI movies does not have a scene that is so unrealistic (I am looking at you John Woo, remember when you made Tom Cruise and Dougray Scott have a battle while on motorcycles) that you'd need a frontal lobotomy to believe what you just saw on screen. This may be a case of the fact that MI:3 was produced, written and directed by JJ Abrams and for all of you that are Lost fans we know that he is just a genius. I really enjoyed this movie and if you can get by the fact that Tom Cruise is a nut I would highly recommend going out to see this movie. It is pretty much what you expect from the Mission Impossible series and if you are a fan of these types of movies you are not going to be disappointed.

Loyal Readers I have a challenge for you. While watching Mission Impossible 3 I challenge you to try not to think about Tom Cruise and his jumping up and down on a couch, or him dating a girl that is 16 years , or him eating a placenta. Now that is Mission Impossible.

Stay Tuned for Mission Impossible 4 where Tom Cruise attempts to date and impregnate a sperm. But then again, what do I know?

* You may not have noticed this but at the beginning of the movie his eyes are doing some crazy stuff. He kind of looks like that crazy guy in town that when he is talking you don't know if he is looking at you or the person standing right next to you.

Good Night, and Good Luck. (2005)

The movie needed to be longer.

[3/10 · 7 June 2006]

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The movie Good Night and Good Luck looks at the battle between Joe McCarthy and Ed Murrow during the 1950's over Joe's obsession with finding Communists in the United States. Ed Murrow is played by David Strathairn who has been in such classics as League of Their Own and Sneakers. David does an excellent job of playing Ed Murrow and it is amazing how he hasn't gotten bigger parts in Hollywood cause in my opinion this guy is right up there with William H. Macy as one of the most talented actors in recent times.

The overall look and feel of the movie is right on with making you feel like you are watching actual footage of the 1950's even to the point that when they are showing TV clips of Ed Murrow it sounds just like 50's TV should sound. However this is where the greatest of this film ends.

Just a fair warning, I had issues with this film from the beginning primarily because it is one of the selected few movies that the "Academy" has chosen as best picture this year. And since I have serious issues with the "Academy" not selecting Walk the Line as a best picture nominee my expectation are that a movie like this should surpass that brilliant film. That being said, I thought this movie was fair but no where near a Best Picture candidate. First off this movie is only an 1hr and 20 minutes long, OK maybe an 1 hour and 30 minutes long but that only takes into account the stupid commercials at the beginning and previews that made me even more angry. (More on that in a bit). Yes you heard me right an 1hr and 20 minutes long and it could have easily been a 3 hour movie (also known as the "edited" version of any Peter Jackson film). Now it may be the fact that I am in my 20's but this movie did a very poor job of explaining the background of film or the era. I really don't know who Ed Murrow was expect for recognizing the name kind of like when you see someone that you know but you can for the life of you remember their name. I would have really enjoyed to know how Ed Murrow ended his career with CBS and how the effect of his attacks on Joe McCarthy ended. But once we get to that point they just decided to end the film leaving you with the sense that you wanted more. I just think that this movie falls way short of any movie goer's expectation.

Secondly, this movie has Robert Downy Jr. in it where he plays a team member of the CBS team that supports Ed Murrow. After viewing this film I came to the conclusion that Robert Downy Jr.'s character has absolutely no point. The only thing that we really find out about Robert Downy is that he is married to another person at CBS and that is a no-no. So, would someone that saw this movie please explain to me what the point of his character was? I do have a theory on this. I think that because Robert Downy Jr. is still chummy with a lot of his Hollywood pals that this was a way for him to get a 7 figure check to continue to support his drug habit. Where else can a guy that has been busted for drug use several times still continue to pick up a check that size. Everyone complains about Baseball players using steroids (a drug) but when it comes to actors it is acceptable. Come on, if Joe Blow got busted for drugs as many times at Robert Downy Jr. they would be serving 8-15 in the state pen with their new friend Bubba. I guess it is just a sad statement on society when a guy like this still goes on collecting huge checks and no one says a word.

OK back to the commercials before the show. Pepsi has a new commercial out featuring Jimmy Fallon dancing like an idiot after drinking some Pepsi. One question for you Jimmy Fallon, how is your career going? Good choice on leaving SNL. Commercials like this make me want to stop using their products. Some of these major companies like Pepsi should do some sort of study that ask question like "After viewing this commercial are you a) more likely to use our product b) Now hate our product and are never going to use it again. Guess which one I would choose? I would say that you shouldn't waste your time or money to see this movie. I would recommend renting this movie if the movie store was all out of movies and your choices came down to Caddyshack 2, Gone Fishing or a Thin Red Line. If you really want to see a movie that does a better job of covering the era and Joe McCarthy I would recommend picking up a copy of Guilty by Suspicion with Mr. DeNiro. But then again what do I know, I am just part of the dumb public that still pays for movies like this.

Match Point (2005)

A little slow but well worth the time to see it.

[8/10 · 7 June 2006]

www.kajatm.com In Woody Allen's latest movie he explores the value of a good condom, some good luck and just how a woman's constant hounding can drive a man into another woman's arm. Chris Walton (Jonathan Rhys-Meyer) is a former tennis star trying to make ends meat teaching tennis to the rich. Chris eventually meets Tom Hewett (Matthew Goode), the son of a very rich business man. Tom and Chris become friends which leads to Tom hooking Chris up with his homely sister Chloe Hewett (Emily Motermier). Chris being the intelligent man that he is decides to pursue Chloe because lets face it money, like alcohol, makes a girl look a lot better than she is. As their love grows Chris runs into problems with Tom's fiancé Nola Rice (Scarlett Johansson) because no matter how rich Chloe may be he still wants to get into Nola's pants. And honestly can you blame him? If you have ever seen Scarlett Johansson you know what I am talking about. This girl is so hot she could make a burlap bag look good. Chris spends the majority of the beginning of the movie hitting on Nola without her fiancé finding out all the time climbing the corporate latter under Chloe's daddy's help. Eventually because of liquor and a PO'd mother-in-law Nola is driven into Chris' waiting arms in an open field in the back of Chole's and Tom's parent estate.

Chris and Nola pursue their relationship further after a messy break up with Tom and the fact that Chole keeps hounding Chris to knock her up. Because Chris is protected at work by the fact that he is the son in law to the man in charge this give Chris ample time to leave work whenever he wants to go and bang Nola. Chris ends up knocking up Nola which causes a series of events that could potentially ruin his relationship with his sugar mama Chole. Nola unwilling to the abort the mission Chris comes up with a plan to "take care" of the situation. What that plan is I will not say and how it ends up you will have to go and find out for yourself.

One thing that really bothered me about this movie was the fact that Chris continually takes calls from Nola in front of his wife on his cell phone. It is like Woody Allen has never heard of call ID or voicemail. Not once in the entire movie does Chris check his phone to see who was calling and if it was a good decision to answer the phone. If you are honestly screwing around on your wife I think you might do a better job of screening your calls.

The moral of this movie is that if you are going to have an affair with a hot Hollywood actress you'd better bring a condom because you never know when one of your little guys is going to get past the goalie and potentially ruin your life.

I really enjoyed this movie and I would recommend it to anyone. The movie moves kind of slow at times but the ending makes up for it. But then again, what do I know?

Firewall (2006)

Oh Han Solo, where have you gone?

[2/10 · 7 June 2006]

www.kajatm.com Firewall is the latest rehashed film about a business man who has access to a large amount of money for the company that he works for and is eventually forced to do what the bad guys wants him to do because the bad guys have kidnapped his family. The movie stars Harrison Ford, Virginia Madsen, and Paul Bettany who has been in such successful movies as a Knight's Tale, and a Beautiful Mind. Firewall, my loyal readers, is not one of those movies. But at least Paul Bettany gets to wake up next to Jennifer Connely every morning, so he has that going for him, which is nice. The only good acting in this movie is done by Virginia Madsen who plays the wife of Harrison Ford and really does a good job of playing a mother that is concerned with her family's well being. This is the only highlight in this film but I think people are catching on that Hollywood only puts out garbage in the month of February.

Oh Han Solo, where have you gone? At some point in Harrison Ford's career he decided to attend the Al Pacino School of Angry acting. This is really a sad statement on what was a great career. He used to be such a great actor, one of those guys that you'd like to go and have a beer with but since, I'd say 1989 his career has done a 180 and is slowly spiraling right down the crapper. Let's look at the list of movies Harrison Ford has been in since Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: Patriot Games, The Fugitive, Clear and Present Danger, The Devil's Own, Air Force One, 6 Days 7 Nights, What Lies Beneath, and K-19 the Widow Maker. With the exception of The Fugitive this is some of the worst career choices since Mariah Carey decided to act in Glitter.

I've decided to add to my column this week the introduction of Jimstradamus. Now Jimstradamus predicted that this movie was going to be terrible once he saw the preview. Jimstradamus knew that something ridiculous was going to happen. Jimstradamus knew that Harrison Ford would act with his "angry voice" for 90% of the film. And guess what? All of these things that Jimstradamus predicted happened, yet Jim could not help himself from paying for this piece of garbage.

First Hollywood wants us to believe that 85 year old Harrison Ford has the ability to stop the bad guys by beating them up. Come on, Harrison Ford couldn't stop Calista Flockhart from sticking her finger down her throat again so I really don't buy that he could kick someone's ass. Second we are supposed to believe that Harrison Ford can crash a car going 50 miles and hour, have the car blow up and then walk away without a scratch. Finally we are supposed to believe that Harrison Ford is truly a good actor just because he uses his "angry voice" to make himself more believable. Guess what, I'm not buying any of this.

This movie was just terrible. I would recommend it to no one unless you really disliked someone and you wanted them to experience the pain that this movie brings to the viewer. If that is the case then by all means I would recommend it. Harrison Ford once said "GET OFF MY PLANE" I just wanted to stand up during the movie and scream, "GET OFF MY SCREEN".

P.S. I just wanted to add a quick note on one of the actresses in this movie, Mary Lynn Rajskub whom you may know from the TV series 24. What is this chick's deal? Am I the only person that thinks whenever I see her act on screen she always looks like she is constipated? How about smiling once in a while or may I suggest some EX-LAX?

Dave Chappelle's Block Party (2005)

Terrible, Awful and Bad are some of the words I would use!

[1/10 · 7 June 2006]

www.kajatm.com To say that Block Party was a little disappointing is an understatement. Block Party is Chappelle's most recent work since going crazy and maybe it would have been a good idea if he had stayed that way. This "movie", (I use that term loosely because it really isn't a movie but more of home movie taken by your drunk uncle) looks at Dave's attempt to throw a block party in Brooklyn, NY and the three days leading up to the Block Party. The movie includes a Rap star studded cast including Mos Def, Kanye West, The Fugees, Big Daddy Kane and Common.

This movie was just terrible. Words cannot describe how bad it actually was. First off, for those of you expecting The Chappelle show will be highly disappointed. The entire movie contains about a total of 10 minutes of Chappelle's material which may result in the new release of "The Edited Dave Chappelle's Block Party presented by Jim", the 10 minute version. Second the movie really has no point whatsoever. I've tried to sit and think about this movie and what the exact point of it was and the only thing that I can come up with is that Dave Chappelle is stupid rich now and this was his way of giving back to the community or he just really likes block parties. But besides that it is pretty much just a party in Brooklyn that he decided to tape. Finally, unless you are really up on the Hip Hop scene you will not recognize a lot of the performers outside Mos Def, Kanye West and The Fugees.

I was so disappointed with this movie that I had to go home and watch the entire first season of The Chappelle show just to remind myself that once upon a time there was a world where Dave Chappelle was funny. This was followed up by watching Pulp Fiction just so I could wipe my memory of this piece of garbage.

Like I mentioned before, if you are expecting to see a full movie version of The Chappelle show do not go to see this movie. Instead I would recommend going home, getting into the most uncomfortable chair in your home, then pull that chair over to the ugliest wall in your humble abode and sit there for 2 hours just staring at that wall. I am willing to bet that this would be more entertaining than this movie. If this movie did not have the 10 minutes of Chappelle being funny I would have to seriously consider discussing with my friend Ken renaming The Thin Red Line rating. Do not waste your money to see this, don't rent it, don't borrow it from a friend, don't watch the advertisement, don't look at it when you go the rental store and don't even use the words Block, Party or Chappelle in the same sentence. Let's all just pretend that this movie was never even made, your life will be better for it, but then again what do I know?

16 Blocks (2006)

Good Work from Bruce

[8/10 · 7 June 2006]

www.kajatm.com

In Bruce Willis' latest film he plays Officer John McClain who has to stop terrorist from taking over that Nakatomi building….wait that was Die Hard. Lets try that again….In Bruce Willis' latest film he plays Detective Joe Hallenbeck who is teamed with Jimmy Dix and ex-football star where they have to stop the assassination of a dirty Senator…wait still not right. Oh I got…In Bruce Willis's latest film he plays Officer Jack Mosley who is responsible for taking Eddie Bunker (Mos Def), 16 Blocks (I couldn't guess the distance that they had to travel) to the court house so he can testify against some dirty cops.

The movie opens up by showing how Jack Mosley is a down on his luck drunk officer who has been reduced to being everyone's bitch at the department. After working a long shift he is asked to perform the minimal task of taking Eddie Bunker 16 Blocks so he can testify against some dirty cops. But this minimal task isn't what it is all that it is cracked up to be. After stopping to get a quick drink, Jack is forced to be a cop again because Eddie is attacked by some individuals that are trying to stop him from getting to court. This scene really launches the movie because from this point forward it is non-stop action. The movie has some good twists including the ending. But I am not going to ruin the movie for you.

Mos Def does an excellent job in this movie. More than likely when the script was brought to Mos the director asked him to come up with a unique voice that would really define his character. I am convinced that Mos decided to cross the lingual skills of Mike Tyson and Flavor Flav. At times his character become annoying because he talks non-stop throughout the film but overall I really enjoyed watching him on screen. Because of his roles in 16 Blocks and the Italian Job, Mos is starting to climb up my list of favorite actors.

In true cheesy critic form I could use statements like "16 Blocks is a Heart Pounding Thriller", "Bruce Willis has done it again" or even something like "Some guy that you have never heard of gives it 5 stars" but this isn't that kind of review. Overall I really liked this movie. It was non-stop action from beginning to end and there are several moments that put you on the edge of your seat. I would recommend anyone who is looking for a film that will entertain them for 2 hours to spend the $8.50 to see it.

The biggest problem with this film is that I yearned for another Die Hard movie after watching it. This film demonstrates that Bruce Willis is still a great actor. Right around the time that Striking Distance came out people were saying that Bruce Willis' career was over. Well about 30 films later he is still going strong. Bruce Willis' should get an award just for being able to overcome the role he had in Hudson Hawk or we can just thank Quentin Tarantino for making Plup Fiction and reviving the careers of Bruce Willis, John Travolta and pretty much launching the career of Samuel L. Jackson. But then again what do I know?

The Matador (2005)

A real stretch role for Pierce

[5/10 · 7 June 2006]

www.kajatm.com The Matador to my surprise was not an A&E documentary about the role that bull fighters play in modern day Mexico. This movie is about a friendless contract killer, Julian Nobel (Pierce Brosnan), that has lost his ability to perform his job and how a drunken conversation with a business man Danny Wright (Greg Kinnear) down on his luck changes his life.

This is Pierce's first movie since the Bond series and from what I've read this is a role that he took on to kind of eliminate the pigeon hold that can be the Bond role. That being said I really don't think that taking a role as a contract killer is that much of a stretch from being a secret agent. I mean it isn't like Pierce is playing the lead role of Barney the Dinosaur goes to Hollywood. The only major changes that I saw between this role and the Bond role was that Pierce was drunk a lot more and that he is about one Quarter Pounder away from being considered fat.

Greg Kinnear pretty much plays himself in this role. Does this guy every play anything outside of a jittery middle aged white guy? Surprise, Surprise he does an excellent job of playing himself, who would have thought that? This movie is a dark comedy that has some excellent one liners. Overall I would recommend this movie but I wasn't overly impressed. This movie was pretty good but I would recommend anyone thinking about seeing this movie to wait until it comes out on DVD. But then again, what do I know?

The Da Vinci Code (2006)

One of the Worst Movies of the Year!

[2/10 · 7 June 2006]

www.kajatm.com The best way to describe The Da Vinci Code is a movie that was made too late. Like Wyatt Earp to Tombstone and Deep Impact to Armageddon, The Da Vinci Code is just another version of National Treasure with one key difference, it being good. I was bored with the story line, bored with the acting and overall I really didn't care if they found the remains of Mary Magdalene or not. Being one of the 10 people in the United States that haven't actually read the book, I was expecting to be surprised by the storyline or to be at least entertained for the 2 hrs (closer to 3) but ended up watching my watch to find out when it was ending.

Now this is the normal part of my review where I go into further detail about the movie and what happened but I have pretty much wiped the movie from my memory so that isn't going to happen this time around. What I do want to focus on is who has kidnapped the real Tom Hanks? On a scale of 1 to awful, his performance was pretty much awful. What happened to the guy that was pretty much Oscar worthy just because his name appeared in the credits? It was like watching a cardboard cutout of Tom Hanks on screen. He showed no emotion, no charisma to the point that I thought that I was watching some Bizarro-World Tom Hanks playing the lead role. Maybe it has to do with the fact that Spielberg didn't direct this piece of garbage and Tom Hanks only puts in 110% when Spielberg is directing. This kind of performance can ruin a career and I hope that we haven't seen the best of Tom Hanks. Finally, what is with his hair in this movie he looks like one of those skater guys in high school that shaves all of there head expect the top part so it looks like you have normal hair but in reality it just looks like some creature crawled up on you head and died.

The whole story line tries to trick you into thinking that other things are going on and that the clues aren't that obvious. Unless you are about 3 years old you or you have drool coming from your mouth right now you can pretty much figure what is going to happen and who the link to Mary Magdalene is. Honestly, the more I think about this movie the more upset I am getting that I will never have those 3 hours back. I have an idea, when you make a movie try to make it entertaining; it makes it some much better for the viewer.

I would not recommend this movie to anyone. If you want to see a movie that is very similar and is well done even though the lead character is Nicolas Cage I would highly recommend seeing National Treasure. Maybe some books are better left to being books. From what I have heard the book is outstanding that was not the case with the on screen adaptation. Don't rent it, don't see it and please encourage others from making the same mistake that I did. But then again, what do I know?