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Reviews
Mind Thief (2022)
Twisty Mystery With A Splash Of Humor
Chris (Angelique Pretorius) is a mystery writer and she's written the titular book the #movie title of the film comes from. More importantly, she's experiencing lost time or rather additional time, as she goes to bed and wakes up with dirty feet, implying she didn't spend the night in bed. She enlists the help of friend Gina (Leslie L. Miller), but she too finds herself missing time. What is going on?
That is not an easy answer, especially without spoiling things. Getting out of the clutches of this evil plot will be a challenge for Chris, especially after she's framed for MURDER!
It's a quirky, fun movie, where people are not always who they seem to be, thanks the villainous Mind Thief in real life.
Austenland (2013)
Would You Go To Austenland?
Initially attracted to this movie because of Keri Russell, it popped up on Hulu via Showtime and the time has come to watch!
My expectations were measured, as it came & went in 2013 & I hadn't noticed it then. Jane (Keri Russell) is an obsessed fan of the author. Her bedroom is a paean to the works of Jane Austen. So, when she finds out about an immersive experience, she spends all her money going there. Sadly, all her money just gets her the basic package. So, she's condescended to by the owner (Jane Seymour).
However, she makes fast friends w/ Elizabeth (Jennifer Coolidge), bringing the same energy she'd later use in The White Lotus, who's platinum level.
Austenland is kinda Westworld without all the killing & nudity. It's a place to maybe fall in love. So, Jane, being excluded from a tea party, finds herself wandering the grounds & meeting a stable hand, Martin (Bret McKenzie). He's kinda dismissive of the whole place, but does show Jane the birthing of a horse calf. A bit of a spark ignites between them.
However, when she's able to socialize with the others, she's attracted (understandably) to the Mr. Darcy character played by JJ Feild. While he is in character as aloof, he does seem to feel something for her.
I'd be remiss if I didn't shout out (James Callis) for his performance. It's wild & hilarious, unlike the darker roles I'm used to. Also, (Ricky Whittle) shows up as a mysterious sea captain, who simply cannot keep his shirt on!
Is it all waaay over the top? Oh, hells yeah. Did I LOL? Yes, I did. Does everything work? No. But it IS fun. If you need fun, it's worth it.
Hideout (2021)
A Few Bright Moments In Overly Long Movie
When you're on the run, not every port in the storm will do. A liquor store robbery gone wrong has 4 people stopping at a house off the beaten path.
Reed #(Chris Wolfe) has been shot & is bleeding from his stomach badly. Brother & sister Kyle (Bryan Enright) & Sarah (Katie Lyons) lug him into the house. They lie to homeowner Bee (Janice LaFlam), claiming it was a hunting accident. She'll help stitch him up, but doesn't have all the needed supplies, so Rick (Eric Francis Melaragni) goes back out to the car, becoming the 1st victim of something.
Also in the house is Bee's granddaughter Rose (Audrey Kovar). There is definitely something off about her. She's more than a femme fatale because this isn't a crime story, it's a horror movie.
Made in the height of the pandemic, it's pretty much a bottle movie with all the action taking place in the house & immediate grounds.
For a low budget production & a first time full length filmmaker, it looks pretty good. There's even some impressive EFX, such as a stuffed bear's head turning in the background to look at Kyle.
There's some unevenness in performances, but Kovar stands out both as an evil force & as a temptress.
Would have preferred it if it were a bit tighter than the almost 2 hour runtime, but overall worth a watch.
Minx (2022)
Come For The Nudity. Stay For The Laughs!
Cheers for "Minx!" I felt no impetus to watch & took a flyer anyway. Have now binge 6 of the 10 episodes in a way that has made me completely change what I was going to do today (see a #movie). Joyce )Ophelia Lovibond) has a vision in 1972 of making feminism mainstream via a magazine. At a convention, she meets Doug (Jake Johnson), a successful pornographer w/ double digit magazines currently being made.
It is a classic Sam & Diane style of relationship, without (so far) the sexual tension. He sees the opportunity in marketing porn to women & brings her on to create Minx, a magazine for women, that also happens to have nude photos of men too.
The supporting cast is amazing. Favorite of mine Jessica Lowe plays a pornstar Bambi that wants to do more, just doesn't know what that could be. Richie (Oscar Montoya) is the gay photographer that doesn't mind photographing penises at all. Tina (Idara Victor) is Doug's right hand woman & maybe more of a potential love interest. They agree on more than they disagree. Joyce's sister Shelly (Lennon Parham) is a particular favorite. She's a house mom happy to be doing ANYTHING else & has some very good ideas of her own. Then there's Joyce's ex Glenn (Michael Angarano," who still stays in the picture, even helping out.
Mostly, these are the outcasts that have forged a bond with each other to survive. But they may just have the ability to do much more than just survival. They are a family of necessity.
Yes, there's a ton of nudity (it's still HBO). Yes, the porn industry depicted is sanitized. But mostly it's laugh out loud funny.
Hasta el viento tiene miedo (1968)
Dated, But Interesting!
Watched a Mexican horror movie yesterday for Cinquo De Mayo. "Even The Wind Is Afraid comes across like an Italian Giallo, but it's actually pure Mexico from director Carlos Enrique Taboada.
Set in an all girls school, the #movie focuses on Claudia (Alicia Bonet), whose having horrible visions. In a locked tower, she's somehow inside & when she looks up, she sees a hanged girl.
When she awakes screaming, she shares this w/ her 5 bunk mates. She's able to describe the inside of the tower w/ such detail that they all try to see for themselves. Not that they expect to get in. The door's padlocked. Except it's not. It's open! The inside being just as Claudia described it.
However, before they can explore more, they're caught by the strict headmistress, who declares that none of them can leave for Spring Break as punishment. The nice teacher tries to plead on their behalf, but gets nowhere. Even though she does warn the headmistress of what happened last time, a reference to a student, Andrea (Pamela Susan Hall), who hanged herself when facing a similar punishment. The spirit of that girl is looking for revenge & she's willing to use Claudia to get it!
What's interesting about the #film is the way it's shot, the contrast between the bright Gaillo interiors & the dark, Mexican exteriors, along w/ the wind. You see Andrea killed herself on a windy night, so she uses wind to forecast her presence. So, it is constantly howling outside.
By today's standards, it's pretty tame. But you have to remember these are the movies that helped inspire Del Toro & the like to make the films they do today! While a certain segment of people would like to erase history, I choose to embrace it.
Al morir la matinée (2020)
Trying Too Hard To Be Cool
Have never really understood setting a slasher film in a movie theatre. Granted, of these past couple of years, the audiences are sparse, but in 1993 (when this horror movie takes place), it would've been more full-ish. But maybe it's different in Uruguay.
Ana (Luciana Grasso) is a student that comes to the projection booth to summon her father to dinner. She'll take care of this showing, while studying for an exam. There are a handful of people there to watch & she knows how to switch reels & fix problems.
The showing is of "Frankenstein: Day Of The Beast," which is a bit tongue in cheek, as the director of that film plays the killer in this one, (Ricardo Islas).
Our victims to be are a young couple on a date, an underage kid, a pensioner, 3 drunk teens (2 guys, 1 girl) & eventually another young woman.
The usher Mauricio (Pedro Duarte) isn't very good at his job, as almost all these characters are talking during the show. This is necessary for some character building, but makes me see red & am not displeased when they're offed. But while we get glimpses of character for the victims, why the killer rampages is a mystery.
He successfully dispatched Mauricio, takes the keys & locks everyone in, so there's no escaping. Our Final Girl, Ana, is dutifully up to the task once she notices what's going on.
The first couple is killed in their seats by having a rod pushed thru their heads while making out. Seems pretty impossible that someone wouldn't see that, especially the friends of one of them who are only a couple of rows behind them. Others die in more believable, removed locations, like the bathroom.
Curve (2015)
Don't Be A Mallory
Mallory (Julianne Hough) makes bad decisions. She's on her way to marry a guy she's not so sure she wants to marry. Her mode of x-country transportation is a Bronco, instead of flying. When faced w/ a choice of a direct highway to her destination or an off the beaten path, scenic route, guess which 1 she chooses.
He car breaks down in the twisty canyons. While she does know a way around an engine, she can't fix it. She's startled by the appearance of Christian (Teddy Sears). How? IDK. There's open space for hundreds of feet all around her. He's a hitchhiker & he's able to fix her truck. In a calculated move on Christian's part & the endless amount of bad decisions we know Mallory is capable of, she invites him to ride w/ her.
Being a horror movie, Christian has a actually a Ted Bundy type. When he eventually shows his true colors, Mallory has to figure out how to escape. She's wearing a seatbelt & he's not. Now, instead of speeding up & then slamming on the brakes, she decides to run off the road & down a ravine.
Miraculously, Christian is thrown clear, unscathed, but Mallory is stuck upside down w/ her foot wedges in the steering well. The former uses this opportunity to torment his captive by coming & going. She has no food, no water & can't move. At 1 point, he brings back a hacksaw, which she declines.
She does, however, find 2 useful things: matches & a knife. This allows her to stay warm during night, burning the veil 1st, & eat intruding rats she kills & cooks.
Act 3 finds her able to get loose when a flash flood almost drowns her, but moves the car enough for her to extract her foot. Unfortunately, it's too late to save the cop (Drew Rausch) from Christian's murderous intent. But it does allow her to get to the nearby cabin her tormentor has been talking about, where he's holed up. Now armed w/ that cop's gun, the hunted becomes the hunter. Or will she keep making bad decisions?
Dreamcatcher (2021)
This dream should be let go
Look, if you HAVE to denote in the end titles which one is "the killer," that probably should be a red flag.
Set during an indoor music concert, featuring DJ Dreamcatcher (seen on poster), who's kinda a #Deadmaus wannabe. Pierce (Niki Koss) is hanging out w/ BFF Jake (Zachary Gordon) would like out of the friend zone, watching a #horrorfilm. When sister Ivy (Elizabeth Posey) & BF Breken show up, they surprise our #movie watchers w/ tix to a sold out music festival, Cataclysm. So, they all trek out. Pierce rubs it in her ex Hunter's Blaine KernIII, who then turns around & calls in favors to attend too, bringing his new girl Raye Olivia Sui.
Things go very bad when Pierce is invited backstage w/ the DJ & manages to overdose & die. Josephine, the agent, forces everyone to cover up the death, requiring them all to come back on day 2 to get paid off (they are not getting paid off).
Raye, who claims to be a lawyer, is the 1st to go. Then we're in familiar slasher film territory, until Act 3, where the film cheats. I won't spoil it, but it's egregious. Not only is someone not dead, but there's now some sort of demonic possession! This is the last 10 minutes! & yes, I skipped over the outing of 1 character as gay all of a sudden because so does the writer/director Jacob Johnston.
I put it on my list to see because of Posey, who is good in "Heels." Go watch that. There's 95% less quoting of Hamlet in that show than there is here. Before you ask, no, Hamlet is not relevant to the plot at all.
Cast a Deadly Spell (1991)
When Hammett Meets Potter
One of the first projects I remember as an agent assistant is "Cast A Deadly Spell." We had quite a few clients read for the roles, but none landed it. To memorialize the passing of Fred Ward, I revisited this.
It's a cross between a Dashiell Hammett story & Harry Potter. Ward played gumshoe Harry "Phil" Lovecraft, who gets hired by Hackshaw (David Warner) to recover the Necronomicon stolen from him by the next night at midnight, since he has a very important spell he needs to cast then.
Phil is an ex-cop that refuses to use magic & has questionable taste in ties. His former partner Harry (Clancy Brown) is now a crime boss & integral into the theft of the #book.
In his pursuit, the trail leads Phil to Harry's club, where femme fatale & former lover Connie (Julianne Moore) performs.
At the top of the movie, we see that the original thief was Mickey (Ken Thorley), who was planning on using it to run away w/ his lover Lily (LeeTergesen).
But while Phil is doing all the heavy lifting getting the book back, including have to fight a giant gargoyle, he's being shadowed by Det Grimaldi #PeterAllas. Well, at least until he sees Olivia (Alexandra Powers), Hackshaw's daughter, an integral part of his plan, which gets spoiled by love.
I love the cleverness of the mashup. The EFX are a little cheesy, as it's 1990 effects. What's REALLY fun is seeing how young all these actors look. This took place just before Moore broke out in "Hand That Rocks The Cradle." And OMG Brown looks like a baby! Dir Martin Campbell would later go on to direct "Casino Royale." So, there's a lot of pedigree here!
There's actually a sequel to this called "Witch Hunt" but they replaced Ward w/ Dennis Hopper. IDK why.
Kudos to casting director Pam Dixon for putting together such a talented cast w/ actors before their big breaks.
RIP Fred Ward You were a big part of the movies I love & you will be missed.
The Northman (2022)
This Dane is more than melancholy
See if this sounds familiar. A prince witnesses the death of his father at the hands of his uncle, who then later takes the boy's mother as his wife. He vows revenge. Shakespeare liked to draw from history for his tragedies. "The Northman" is a telling of the story upon which the play was based, but w/ a lot more blood.
Prince Amleth is a boy when his father, King Aurvandill (Ethan Hawke), returns from pillaging, hauling a bounty of goods & people. However, the journey has brought into focus the king's mortality, so he tries to prepare his son to succeed him.
During a ritual, where the 2 surrender to Helmir The Fool's (Willem Dafoe) ministrations, Fjolnir (Claes Bang) intervenes, committing regicide, but allowing the boy to escape. As the pre-teen rows away, he vows to avenge his father.
20 years later, Amleth is played by Alexander Skarsgard. He's a fierce warrior for a different tribe. On a raid, he discovers that Fjolnir's moved to Iceland, no longer king of the homeland, but still a leader. Amleth cuts his locks & pretends to be a slave to sail to that land. It's revenge time.
On this vessel, he meets Olga (Anya Taylor Joy). She joins in his crusade, after hearing his story. She claims to be able to break men's minds. He is destined to find a sword that will allow him to defeat his lifelong enemy, but finding & getting are 2 different things. But once he does, he sets out on a guerilla warfare campaign to demoralize his foes long before he eventually faces Fjolnir among the volcanoes of Iceland.
While it might sound like your typical revenge story, it's not. Dir Robert Eggers delves deep into this world, as he did in The Lighthouse & The Witch. Stylistically, it's beautiful, while also being raw & ugly at the same time.
I couldn't go to the Beyondfest screening, but glad I eventually caught up w/ the film. I think it's theatrical run may be ending soon, but it is available to stream. See in the theatre, if you can for the cinematography.