nimrod-14908 Reviews

The Rig (2023– )

boring, tedious, claptrap.

[2/10 · 7 January 2023]

Seriously, if you're lookign for something good, look elsewhere. The fuss about this is because of one or two of the cast and certainly nothing to do with the actual plot. As for the cast, it wa fun to spot the Game of Thrones members than bother with the story, for what there was or it. The cast is mostly terrible - a load of people who are obviously ill-equipped to work on a rig, trouble makers and fantasists. At least make the cast look as if they should be there. This is like a really bad episode of Dr. Who but from the 80's, when the special effects were carboard boxes and rubber masks and the plot written by a 6 year old. There is no coherence to the 'storyline' trying to mix in a little of this and a pinch of that and coming up with something best put in the bin.

Echo 3 (2022–2023)

Wow! More Entitled Fantasy

[1/10 · 18 December 2022]

Yet another fantasy featuring gung-ho, entitled americans, flying of to strange countires and killing people for no other reason that they believe they are in the right. Add to that the fake advertising clarion call that these 'special forces' operatives are as rich as Croesus, live in massive antidiluvian southern mansions and can call upon personal helicopters at the drop of a hat. The truth is the exact opposite - most people join up because they have no other option, come from poor families and when off duty, srtuggle to make ends meet rather than drive in supercars and on £100k Harleys. They may have well included dragons and magic swords it's so far into lala land. The casting is terrible as the actors are wooden and stilted like aliens from the planet stiltwood, the dialogue sounds like it's been written by a ten year old who has no idea what life actually is.

The only people praising this are hollywood and media shills because the general public who have actually managed to sit through a couple of episodes can see this for the steaming pile it really is.

Hellraiser (2022)

Could have been worse

[2/10 · 8 October 2022]

Hurm. Not really sure how to go with this. It's certainly better than the sequals to the original (one and two are worth watching - avoid the rest!), but that's damning with faint priase. One of the precepts of the original cenobites was that only the person who opened the box and actually were intent on calling them would be considered for 'experiences'. In this one you get to nominate the victms. Not great - it removes some of the purity of the cenobites and their simply granting the wishes of searchers for new experiences with a petty mindset. The makeup is nicely done but much of the actual horror of the tortures seems to be cut - you see the start, you see the end but all the actual transformation seem to have been cut. Also, much of the S&M black leather/rubber of the cenobites has been removed in favour of a fish dead flesh look. Not overy keen on that either.

Definaely worth having a look but it falls far short of what it could have been. Heres hoping that if they make more they tighten it up, include the actual horror and get back to the basics of the cenobite mythos. It really didn't need this cheap horror flick upgrade.

Bullet Proof (2022)

I don't get it

[2/10 · 17 September 2022]

What is the fascination with hoillywood and Vinnie Jones. He was an average soccar player, known more for his temper than his skills and it seems that in america, he lacks either. He really REALLY can't act worth a toss, he's not a hard man, just a dodgy looking wannabe geezer. He only had his debut in the Guy Richie film Lock Stock and two Smoking barrels because he was a drinking buddy with Guy and because he was so desperate for work he'd do it for virtually nothing. Maybe it's the fake east end 'cockney' accent that hides his lack of ability. Well I suppose given the tripe he appears in it's all his audience can stand.

Basically what I'm saying is if you see Vinnie Jones on the cast list, advoid like the plague. Take some laxatives and a book to the toilet - you'll have a much more enjoyable time.

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

absolute tosh

[2/10 · 10 September 2022]

If you're 10 or under you'll probably love this, but for anyone who enjoys more than kiddies cartoons? Prepare to be very VERY dissapointed. It's purile rubbish, no plot worth speaking about and the acting is terrible, even for a franchise film.

A fat man turns up with a comedy greek accent portraying Zeus (by that accound shouldn't Thor speak with a dodgy viking accent?) and makes everyone laugh by ripping off peoples clothes.

Even the Carry On films were less childish than this.

Seriously, avoid like the plague or expect a cameo by the Micky Mousketeers in the next episode.

Thor Love and thunder? More like crap and blunder.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: All Those Who Wander (2022) Season 1, Episode 9

Just how bad can it get?

[1/10 · 1 July 2022]

When you rip off ALIEN and throw in some Predator special effects for good measure, you KNOW you're in trouble. Add your very own version of Newt from Aliens and you may as well shoot yourself in the head and have done with it.

I had so much hoped that ST;BNW would be a cut above but the acting is terrible, the dialogue hackneyed and the plots cringeworthy. Roddenbury would be spinning in his grave if he saw the mess people are making of his baby.

Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)

Can it get any worse? Yes. It did!

[1/10 · 28 May 2022]

I think Obi Lose Kenobi has been taking acting lessons from Mannikin Skywalker. Slow, tedious, terrible acting from all concerned and featuring an annoying disney brat as Leila. I didn't hopld up much hope for this but talk about scraping the bottom fn the barrel - it's where they got the script writers. This is really REALLY terrible. Miss this and do yourself a favour. Apart from vanity, why is this here? We KNOW every major player survives so how can you create a story with any sense of excitement or anticipation. It starts 'A long time ago, In a galaxy far far away' and ends 'And they all lived happily ever after!'

Jupiter's Legacy (2021)

What a Shame

[8/10 · 26 May 2022]

That this was cancelled. It was turning into a very interesting show about a side of superheroes you rarely see - the internal fight against good and evil from the point of view of the heroes and having heroes with self centerted points of view and mercenary tactics. I was also hoping for S2 to explain more of the background to the origin story. But, it was very story driven rather than action driven at the start and I suppose the youf of today don't have the concentration levels to follow through. Such a shame.

Crazy Rich Asians (2018)

Wow. Just... wow! And not in a good way

[1/10 · 21 May 2022]

Think of every racist stereotype you've ever hear about the Chinese, add the arrogance of the rich and this is basically what this movie is. A farago of tropes, supposedly meant to be funny, but in actuality it's less fun that visiting a dentist for root canal with no anaesthetic. Seriouisly, scoop your eyes out with a rusty spoon and poke chopsticks in your ears before you face this willingly.

The Offer (2022)

fascinating insight to the movie industry

[9/10 · 19 May 2022]

No idea how much is true and hw much is fiction for the sake of a good show but it feels as if it could have happened this way. Excellent viewing, great script, superb performances, especially from Burn Gorman, who I feel has bever been used as well as he could, but in this he is brilliant, as are the rest of the cast. Also, a sneak under the hollywood magic to see how money vs art.

The Northman (2022)

what a waste of time

[1/10 · 17 May 2022]

Drab, stilted, boring - I can't say enough to tell you just how bad this is. Go and watch the Vikings series or the more recent spin off if you want to enjoy what you're watching. I really don't know what's happening with hollywood recently but they've yet to put out anything worth watching. Anyway, avoid this like the plague. It's dire.

Slow Horses (2022– )

If you're not watching this, you're missing out!

[10/10 · 30 April 2022]

Gary Oldman at his degenerate best, playing a burnt out intelligence agent in charge of the dregs of MI5. Back stabbing, subterfuge, conspiracies and lies - this is one of the best things to be broadcast for a very long time. Add in a theme song by Mick Jagger - the best thing HE's done for over 30 years and wow. Just wow. John Le Carre for the new century. Deep, insightful and darkly funny. Miss this at your peril.

Here We Go (2020– )

tedious rubbish

[1/10 · 29 April 2022]

I'll never get that 30 minutes of my lifre back again. It's wasted. I could have been counting grains of sand, trying to catch a leaf in the wind, watching pain dry. Any of those would have been a better use of my time that this drivel.

Russian Doll (2019–2022)

No Can Do

[2/10 · 21 April 2022]

It's very hard to enjoy a series where the main character is such a nasty person. No redeeming features, a drunk, drug taking, foul mouthed harradin. I cheered at the first death hoping that the episode was over, only to have the same thing over and over. Will she end up being redeemed? I don't care. I gave up.

The Batman (2022)

about 3 hours too long

[3/10 · 18 April 2022]

Slow, tedious, purire plotline and barely acted, this was a waste of an opportunity. Over the last few years there have been some incredible storylines in the Badmat comics that would have made excellent films. Instead, we get this tosh. They say it's a film about the bat being a great detective - where? What detection? The only detection was the basic clue sorting by Alfred. This falls down on every front - the action sequences are no better than in a low grade tv show, the dialoge stilted and obvious - I could almost speak it along side the cast it was that obvious. I have no comments on pattinson as I don't know who or care who he is - who ever may have been chosen can only do so much with a project as bad as this. Maybe its time to treat comics properly and let those who actually WRITE them produce the scripts instead of letting some hollywood shill mess things up.

The Ipcress File (2022)

Not Michael Caine but totally enjoyable

[9/10 · 9 March 2022]

Twisting plot, backstabbing and subterfuge. Only the barest hint of the original film and book but it could easily have been written by Len Deighton. Joe Cole is no Miachel Caine and doesn't try to be which is good. He's his own man in this, with a backstory and depth which is lacking in the original film but then, with a full 8 episodes you can add so much more. My only real criticism is that I would have loved for the original film theme tune to have been used.

I look forward to further adventures for this incarnation of Harry Palmer.

The Book of Boba Fett (2021–2022)

the book of boba fetid

[3/10 · 20 January 2022]

Slow, tedious, predictable rubbish. Plots written by and for a 5 year old, acting just as bad and anyone who thinks or says different can only be a rabid fanboy. Seriously, the worst thing ever was disney getting the rights to the star wars empire. Better it had died after 3 films rather than the insipid tripe that's been peddled since.

The Last Duel (2021)

dire and boring

[3/10 · 19 December 2021]

Seriously, Ridley scott is getting pissed off by comments about this being a terrible film - he should be - but then, he made it. It's a grey, tedious film with little or no redeeming features. The acting is wooden, the script disjointed and you get the feeling that the whole cast are phoning in their performances. One to miss most ccertainly. Maybe 30 or 40 years ago this type of film would have been feted as a masterpiece but today it's dated and not worth watching.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)

Waste of space

[3/10 · 9 November 2021]

Chang-Chi was created in the early 70's in the Bruce Lee craze and quickly died out, as did the kung fu mania in the west. That its been revived now is nothing to do with the marvel universe but a sop to the chinese market by making a westernised version of their standard, over the top, chop socky movies, Hidden tiger, Crouching Dragon style. Seriously, if you like that genre you'll probably like this, but for anyone outside the orient, it's pointless. Just Disneys grasping at cash ratherthan moving a storyline onwards.

Doctor Who: Flux: Chapter One - The Halloween Apocalypse (2021) Season 13, Episode 1

when in doubt

[1/10 · 31 October 2021]

Throw everything into the pot and hope something sticks to cover the smell of desperation. The sooner this abortion of a series finishes the better. Unwatchable rubbish.

Dune (2021)

unfilmable for a reason

[3/10 · 20 October 2021]

Disjoined, incohrent tripe. Theres a reason this has been called an unfilmable title and this attempt proves it once again. Wooden acting, really bad special effects and don't get me started on just how trite and childish teh actual dialogue is.

Seriously, don't waste your time on this. Make a sandwich and pick up a book.

Cobra (2020–2023)

Season Two reverts to type

[7/10 · 19 October 2021]

While enjoyable and a little scary with the internatiol politics re russia, nuclear threats and cyberwar, the home grown threats revert to the usual left wing rubbish about domestic threats being from the 'right wing' instead of writing about the truth that we are more at threat, both in reality and in theory, from islam, but given one of the directors is called Mo Ali, that's not surprising.

Apart from that coverup, a very entrtaining series. I'm not a fan of Robert Carlyle but I have to admit, he's very good at playting a man in a crisis.

Foundation (2021– )

what a waste

[2/10 · 16 October 2021]

Apart from using one or two names, this bears no relation to the Classic stories at all. The inclusoin of robots from the very start goea against the whole basis of the story. Seriously, this is nothing but a pile of bull trying to get popular by using the name of a classic series of sci-fi stories. I know that if Isaac Asimov were alive, he would never have allowed this abortion to have gone ahead.

The Empty Man (2020)

confusing and convoluted

[2/10 · 21 September 2021]

At it's heart, this is a very poor rip off of the rather brilliant Angel Heart with Micky Rourke and Robert DiNiro in that the main character is searching, unknowingly, for himself. They've tried to throw in some urban myth rubbish to make it appeal to the yoof, but it fails on pretty much every acount. One to miss.

The Protégé (2021)

a bit of fun for a rip-off

[7/10 · 27 August 2021]

For those of you, like me, who are a little older, you will remember a film called 'Leon' or 'The professional' in which a hired assassin takes a youg girl under his wing, trains her and then gets brutally killed. This is just a continuation/rip-off/homage to that back story, no matter what it may try to otherwise say. Don't look for deeper meaning or a tight plot, just enjoy it for what it is - mindless voilence held together with a tissue thin storyline.