And after reason #13, I didn't think the show should've gone on. So I didn't watch beyond season 1. That's it. 13 reasons why. My rating is based on the first (only) season. The characters are rich, the stories heartbreaking, the acting top-notch. You get immersed in the stories and really get to know the complex characters. Definitely worth a watch, but going past season 1 doesn't make sense. I have read a synopsis of other seasons and they truly sound like they chip away at the first season. I have more characters to write, so i need to ramble a bit more. Getting there. So close. So so so so close.
Reviews
119 Reviews
V/H/S/85
(2023)
So disappointed...
26 November 2023
Warning: Spoilers
So disappointed...that I didn't shut it off after the first sketch. That drew me in, and it was cool. Then it was done. I figured we would hear about it later, but when it does come back in that one sketch it's kinda underwhelming. And you're over it anyway.
I wanted to like this. The first and second VHS movies were good. Viral was ok. I didn't hate it as much as some, but I see why they would hate it. The next two were terrible. I don't remember a thing about them. Even after rereading the plots. Back to this...
It basically sucked. Like I said, the initial film was decent. Interesting story. Then they go downhill. The techno one was so stupid. The one with the police guy and goth kid was a total snorefest. I literally fell asleep like 5 times. Not because I was tired, but because it bored me. The one with the party that ties the first one is ok. Until it gets lazy. The frame story was completely uninteresting and was like a discount The Thing. I really hated it. I skipped through it since I just wanted to get to the credits.
You can keep this out of your list. Even if you're tempted because you've seen all of them, don't waste time. Go back and watch the first two.
I wanted to like this. The first and second VHS movies were good. Viral was ok. I didn't hate it as much as some, but I see why they would hate it. The next two were terrible. I don't remember a thing about them. Even after rereading the plots. Back to this...
It basically sucked. Like I said, the initial film was decent. Interesting story. Then they go downhill. The techno one was so stupid. The one with the police guy and goth kid was a total snorefest. I literally fell asleep like 5 times. Not because I was tired, but because it bored me. The one with the party that ties the first one is ok. Until it gets lazy. The frame story was completely uninteresting and was like a discount The Thing. I really hated it. I skipped through it since I just wanted to get to the credits.
You can keep this out of your list. Even if you're tempted because you've seen all of them, don't waste time. Go back and watch the first two.
That Clown
26 November 2023
I've been a huge fan of HH LLC since I first saw it. The sequel was ok, but undoubtedly inferior. The one after that was so bad I decided it didn't exist. When I saw this film was out, I had hesitation given that non-existent swill. Boy was I surprised. I haven't written a review in a while, but had to about this. It went back to basics. Had really scary parts and some decent, well executed jump scares. I didn't appreciate the music. It takes away from the FF. I understand there's a frame documentary, but they should've added a disclaimer about music for effect so it didn't seem so unnatural for this format. Anyway, those clowns are freakin' creepy AF. You'd think it would get old. Nope. Still creepy. I haven't been that unsettled in a movie in a while. I miss that. It's why we watch scary movies.
I really couldn't stand the character of Chase. I was initially glad that another person was going to be staying with them. But he ended up being super pointless. He made irritatingly bad decisions and it was extremely frustrating. Like, why are you whispering...and walking away slowly? Why aren't you running and screaming? How about getting the attention of the sister and her gf? Oh and why are you still there after the first incident? That wasn't subtle. That's a huge, fat nope for moi.
Anyway, if you liked the first, this brings back the formula that made it appealing in the first place.
I really couldn't stand the character of Chase. I was initially glad that another person was going to be staying with them. But he ended up being super pointless. He made irritatingly bad decisions and it was extremely frustrating. Like, why are you whispering...and walking away slowly? Why aren't you running and screaming? How about getting the attention of the sister and her gf? Oh and why are you still there after the first incident? That wasn't subtle. That's a huge, fat nope for moi.
Anyway, if you liked the first, this brings back the formula that made it appealing in the first place.
We Need to Talk About Kevin
(2011)
Incredible movie
15 April 2023
I feel conflicted saying a movie so terrifying is great. You almost feel complicit in its terror, responsible for someone else's discomfort by recommending it to them. However, I'm gonna recommend it anyway.
The acting is top notch by everyone. The absolute helplessness and dread and confusion and melancholy portrayed by the characters is as if it was their story to tell.
You get a front row seat to something you hope you never get the displeasure of experiencing in your life. As another reviewer mentioned, you're not sure where the malfunction happened. Her? Him? Both? It's not important though. Even if you watch it again (which I did), you think that maybe it will change if someone says or does something different. Nope, same movie. Same feeling afterwards.
You will not leave this movie feeling good or satisfied. You will feel sad, nauseous, angry, and unsettled. Recommended.
The acting is top notch by everyone. The absolute helplessness and dread and confusion and melancholy portrayed by the characters is as if it was their story to tell.
You get a front row seat to something you hope you never get the displeasure of experiencing in your life. As another reviewer mentioned, you're not sure where the malfunction happened. Her? Him? Both? It's not important though. Even if you watch it again (which I did), you think that maybe it will change if someone says or does something different. Nope, same movie. Same feeling afterwards.
You will not leave this movie feeling good or satisfied. You will feel sad, nauseous, angry, and unsettled. Recommended.
Climax
(I) (2018)
Did we watch the same movie?
15 April 2023
Ok, so when I first saw it, I thought it was ok. Nothing to write home about, easily forgotten except for the amazing dance scene shot in a single take. After, I kept seeing this popping up on lists talking about how disturbing it was, etc. I had to look it up to see if we were talking about the same movie. It appears we were...so I watched it again. Still not sure if I'm missing something. I just saw it come up on another list which compelled me to write this review.
I don't have an issue with the movie per se, but it's way overhyped as being upsetting or disturbing. I've watched many unsettling movies in my time, and this doesn't crack the top 20. It's entertaining, it's dancey, it's french, it's funny, it's weird. I get it. I'm not a film connoisseur, but I feel like offering my opinion can save someone an hour and a half. It's not that great. The director has other films under his belt that are much more bizarre without the pretentiousness. It's not that edgy or groundbreaking. I would simply say "meh."
I wouldn't tell anyone they gotta see this movie though. If you're looking for something to create a little discomfort in your movie-watching experience, you need only do a search for disturbing movies. You might see this on the list, but feel free to skip. You're not missing much.
I don't have an issue with the movie per se, but it's way overhyped as being upsetting or disturbing. I've watched many unsettling movies in my time, and this doesn't crack the top 20. It's entertaining, it's dancey, it's french, it's funny, it's weird. I get it. I'm not a film connoisseur, but I feel like offering my opinion can save someone an hour and a half. It's not that great. The director has other films under his belt that are much more bizarre without the pretentiousness. It's not that edgy or groundbreaking. I would simply say "meh."
I wouldn't tell anyone they gotta see this movie though. If you're looking for something to create a little discomfort in your movie-watching experience, you need only do a search for disturbing movies. You might see this on the list, but feel free to skip. You're not missing much.
Home Movie
(II) (2008)
Snoozefest
11 April 2023
Writing this makes me sleepy. I was so excited to see this as I'd read it was good. It wasn't. It was so boring. Nothing really happens until close to the end and it's not scary or unsettling or anything. Instead, it just signaled that the boredom would hopefully end soon. The acting stunk, I couldn't care less about the characters. Was that dude a priest or something? Why was that even necessary for this movie? Why did they make the mom a kid psychologist when that wasn't used for any purpose to help move it along. If you're a found footage fan, skip it. Don't fall for the hype...unless you need to get some Zs.
Unaware
(I) (2010)
This really smelled up the room
28 March 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I thought I watched this years ago, seeing I originally rated it a 6. So I decided to watch again. Boy, was I ever wrong. I must've confused this with another similar (but significantly better) found footage movie around the same time. I really hated this...a lot. I was bored out of my mind and couldn't wait for it to be over.
First, I hate that there are reviewers who are knocking the female lead's looks, ankles, etc. She may not have been a great actress, but she's a person who can read reviews - and I think picking on her looks is a little shallow and juvenile; and it does nothing to actually evaluate her acting...which, by the way, stunk. She really was a bit grating. The male lead, whose name I didn't even care to learn, really made me wanna sleep for a couple of nights. So monotone and dull.
The setup takes what feels like a year. I was shocked how long we sat with them in the car on the way to "Grandpa Roy's" (who, by the way, sounds like a total butt). The dialogue in that never-ending car ride was pointless, dull, and uninteresting. He said they were about 15 minutes away, but it felt like the time that elapsed while actually watching it was an hour. When they finally reach Roy's palace, it only gets more boring... I'm bored writing this review.
House chatter, including proposal, boring...what was the dinner he had prepared? Peanuts? There was nothing cooking since he was considering hiding the camera in the oven (huh?). Then, there was nothing on the plates...ever. I felt bad for her actually. That's her future.
Barn snooping, boring...how many times did he need to go back?
Alien in box was hilarious. I've seen better costumes at Spirit. Was it just chilling there for years? What was containing it?
Didn't feel their dread at all... When she sees something off in the distance, it's not remotely convincing as anything other than a dude in a pair of khakis and a really terrible alien mask. The way it was moving made me laugh out loud.
The quick flashlight scene showing the alien hiding gave me a tiny startle...but when the alien comes to grab her, I had to laugh at it really seemed like a bad high school film squad movie. Then his blood looked like pasta sauce. The two Men in Black were ridiculous that I was waiting for one of them to break character and laugh...or someone to say "psych!" Nope, he gets knocked down and a pair of bad shoes breaks the camera...but for some reason felt it needed to be poorly locked up such that it was shown to the public. Why?
Just stay away. This gives FF a bad name.
First, I hate that there are reviewers who are knocking the female lead's looks, ankles, etc. She may not have been a great actress, but she's a person who can read reviews - and I think picking on her looks is a little shallow and juvenile; and it does nothing to actually evaluate her acting...which, by the way, stunk. She really was a bit grating. The male lead, whose name I didn't even care to learn, really made me wanna sleep for a couple of nights. So monotone and dull.
The setup takes what feels like a year. I was shocked how long we sat with them in the car on the way to "Grandpa Roy's" (who, by the way, sounds like a total butt). The dialogue in that never-ending car ride was pointless, dull, and uninteresting. He said they were about 15 minutes away, but it felt like the time that elapsed while actually watching it was an hour. When they finally reach Roy's palace, it only gets more boring... I'm bored writing this review.
House chatter, including proposal, boring...what was the dinner he had prepared? Peanuts? There was nothing cooking since he was considering hiding the camera in the oven (huh?). Then, there was nothing on the plates...ever. I felt bad for her actually. That's her future.
Barn snooping, boring...how many times did he need to go back?
Alien in box was hilarious. I've seen better costumes at Spirit. Was it just chilling there for years? What was containing it?
Didn't feel their dread at all... When she sees something off in the distance, it's not remotely convincing as anything other than a dude in a pair of khakis and a really terrible alien mask. The way it was moving made me laugh out loud.
The quick flashlight scene showing the alien hiding gave me a tiny startle...but when the alien comes to grab her, I had to laugh at it really seemed like a bad high school film squad movie. Then his blood looked like pasta sauce. The two Men in Black were ridiculous that I was waiting for one of them to break character and laugh...or someone to say "psych!" Nope, he gets knocked down and a pair of bad shoes breaks the camera...but for some reason felt it needed to be poorly locked up such that it was shown to the public. Why?
Just stay away. This gives FF a bad name.
Found Footage: The Series
(2022– )
Excruciatingly bad
9 March 2023
Look, found footage is one of my favorite sub-genres (for horror, sci fi, or however it can be pulled off well). I don't have high standards with movies because I enjoy being entertained. I definitely want to support independent filmmakers, so I was super excited that an anthology series was made with short found footage stories. I can tolerate (and expect with shoestring budget projects) some bad acting, but these were absolutely horrible! I experienced so much second hand embarrassment from the acting, I had to stop some in the middle. It was so bad, it takes you out of the story...out of the experience.
Some of them I wasn't sure if the person was intentionally trying to overact or just be cheeky. Nope. That was their acting.
The stories actually stunk too. None were particularly original or fresh. The writing was truly atrocious. The second one was almost tolerable until the end when it fell apart.
I really think these need to be removed from streaming services and then give the filmmakers a redo, because this was really bad. I don't recommend these to anyone. I can see I am the first to review.
Some of them I wasn't sure if the person was intentionally trying to overact or just be cheeky. Nope. That was their acting.
The stories actually stunk too. None were particularly original or fresh. The writing was truly atrocious. The second one was almost tolerable until the end when it fell apart.
I really think these need to be removed from streaming services and then give the filmmakers a redo, because this was really bad. I don't recommend these to anyone. I can see I am the first to review.
Benny's Video
(1992)
Oh, so boring...
30 May 2022
Don't believe the hype. I did, and got a snooze fest as a result. This is nothing near the caliber of Haneke's Funny Games, nor is it a comparison to the disturbing We Need to Talk About Kevin. This is just a long, dull, boring (good acting though) flick that spends 90% of its running time on long takes with nothing happening.
Who was the rando sister? What was the purpose of that Pilot game? Who cares?
Time to just move past this and forget it exists.
Who was the rando sister? What was the purpose of that Pilot game? Who cares?
Time to just move past this and forget it exists.
Area 51
(2015)
Found poo
8 May 2022
I'm a fan of found footage. This ruined it right out of the gate... first rule: no credits or title cards. Second: give a reason why or how it's found, and why we're watching it. Even if you use the same "first time being released to the public..." stuff. Literally an hour of boring background. Once they arrive it's still boring and hard to see. The ending was so boring, and I felt like I saw this one a thousand times. Ugh, skip.
Murder Party
(2007)
Super fun and funny
17 January 2022
I really don't want to spend a lot of time giving it a review. I enjoyed it massively. Loved the story, characters, script, acting. Just fun for the sake of fun. If you're into horror comedies that aren't afraid to be over the top (just because), then by all means watch.
The only reason I gave it a 7 is because it's not gonna really make me think about it for years to come and I probably won't just put it on again unless I know someone who wants to see it.
The only reason I gave it a 7 is because it's not gonna really make me think about it for years to come and I probably won't just put it on again unless I know someone who wants to see it.
Knife + Heart
(2018)
Sorry, but I got bored
17 January 2022
I really wanted to like this movie, especially based on the reviews, but it just bored me to tears. I just stopped after half way through and read the synopsis to find out what happened. Glad I stopped... completely unoriginal and yawn-inducing.
It started strong. I like how you, as the viewer, were pulled into the film's world. I was hoping that the first death would be the only Argento-style moment. Unfortunately, the tone of the rest just made me feel like I was watching another of the many films I've watched in the past. I wasn't expecting jump scares...just something new or original (somewhat).
I'm usually really forgiving of movies. I don't have superior taste or have high standards. I just want to be entertained and to be told a story. But, I do want something a tad original and fresh. I just didn't feel anything about this was original or fresh. It's bad, in my opinion, when I'd just rather read the synopsis rather than finish.
I usually give movies that are "meh" or "aiight" a 5. If you're at a 4, it means you fell below that to "not the worst, but I don't want to watch again..."
I'm not saying skip it. Just know what you're getting into before you watch. See the other non-spoiler reviews to see if it's your cup. If it sounds too familiar, and you need something new, then just simply move along. There are a ton of movies (especially French movies) that have great stories....horror or otherwise.
It started strong. I like how you, as the viewer, were pulled into the film's world. I was hoping that the first death would be the only Argento-style moment. Unfortunately, the tone of the rest just made me feel like I was watching another of the many films I've watched in the past. I wasn't expecting jump scares...just something new or original (somewhat).
I'm usually really forgiving of movies. I don't have superior taste or have high standards. I just want to be entertained and to be told a story. But, I do want something a tad original and fresh. I just didn't feel anything about this was original or fresh. It's bad, in my opinion, when I'd just rather read the synopsis rather than finish.
I usually give movies that are "meh" or "aiight" a 5. If you're at a 4, it means you fell below that to "not the worst, but I don't want to watch again..."
I'm not saying skip it. Just know what you're getting into before you watch. See the other non-spoiler reviews to see if it's your cup. If it sounds too familiar, and you need something new, then just simply move along. There are a ton of movies (especially French movies) that have great stories....horror or otherwise.
Fever Dream
(2021)
Wow that was boring
18 October 2021
I have a pretty high tolerance for "slow burn" or "thinkers," but this was really dull. I watched until the end just so I could get some fulfillment from the last hour and a half of boring-ness. And guess what? It was boring. Thinking about this movie makes me want to sleep. This movie is a fever dream of boredom and "Amanda" over and over from that kid. Watch something else.
Son
(I) (2021)
Initially gave it a 5...
15 October 2021
Warning: Spoilers
But then decided it really kinda sucked. I liked where I was hoping it'd go, but where it went simply...sucked. I liked the main actress. She reminded me of Mischa Barton meets someone whose name I can't think of now. I usually like Emile, but his character was so bland, I just didn't care. Was hard to consider him a tough, worn down detective...especially since he ends up spending more time with a crime victim and we're all just supposed to take that as norm.
The boy was kinda annoying, but considering the poopy script not super shocked.. I felt like he talked like a 5 year old, but looked 10. I don't think the story really made any sense. That was hardly a good twist at the end. I'm not usually one to figure stuff out, but you knew something couldn't be right with him. However, there was like nothing hinting that you could go back and say "Ahh! Why did I not notice that?" Seriously! They tried to pull a mini Keiser Soze by showing something he did to that junky. But that's it. Were we supposed to think he had something to do with that? When? Also, if he has a weird agenda, why go looking into her past and doing real investigating? No one can see what he's doing anyway. And, was it a cult? I am just gonna say this. The more I think about it and write, the more I just don't like it. Gonna drop it to a 3.
The boy was kinda annoying, but considering the poopy script not super shocked.. I felt like he talked like a 5 year old, but looked 10. I don't think the story really made any sense. That was hardly a good twist at the end. I'm not usually one to figure stuff out, but you knew something couldn't be right with him. However, there was like nothing hinting that you could go back and say "Ahh! Why did I not notice that?" Seriously! They tried to pull a mini Keiser Soze by showing something he did to that junky. But that's it. Were we supposed to think he had something to do with that? When? Also, if he has a weird agenda, why go looking into her past and doing real investigating? No one can see what he's doing anyway. And, was it a cult? I am just gonna say this. The more I think about it and write, the more I just don't like it. Gonna drop it to a 3.
Tik-Tik
(2016)
Annoyed...
5 September 2021
Would've loved to see more. Almost gave it a low score because it left me wanting more, but that's not fair. Maybe a bit more, but not sure what.... Good getting backstory and setting up the plot....but the plot doesn't exist. Was like a trailer. On the other hand, I'm glad you don't see the creature. I'm torn.... 5/10.
In Sound, We Live Forever
(2018)
Enjoyed it a lot, but...
5 September 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Was anyone else really annoyed at the girl? Aside from not even trying to run away, why didn't she close the windows!?!? She had plenty of time. Use the radio, anything...the retainer! Maybe turn off the light to use the element of darkness. He doesn't have night vision goggles.
When they saw the person, why not try to give a little fight together? A little 2 on 1? They had stuff, the guy had a knife.
I liked it though since it was unique and short. Director did a nice job.
When they saw the person, why not try to give a little fight together? A little 2 on 1? They had stuff, the guy had a knife.
I liked it though since it was unique and short. Director did a nice job.
Honeymoon
(2014)
Overrated
18 July 2021
It was ok, but not incredible. I pretty much forgot what it was about and I'm now questioning whether or not I finished it. I could go either way on recommending. I like the main actress, she's pretty good, so if you need something to tip you towards watching it, then that's a decent excuse.
Just boring
18 July 2021
A Classic Horror Story
(2021)
Y'all are missin' the point
16 July 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Look, I definitely don't think this was the best movie at all. I am actually mad there wasn't more revenge. It just kinda stopped when she sees the boy with the floaties. I could've watched 15 minutes more for some satisfying revenge.
Anyway, this movie is not the classic horror story. The movie Fabrizio was trying to make was the classic. That's why he literally says it during one of his rambles. He even references classics like Evil Dead. So those who keep saying that this movie isn't classic are correct. But not for the right reason.
I'll be honest, it had me going until they had that weird meal which was straight outta Midsommar. Then that rando lady blathering on and just up and leaving. That's when it got stupid.
I was expecting more. Too rushed. The doctor tells everyone about his story, and he even has that lil' family thing...only to be killed off like that. It was like the director felt that he had to move it foreard, so he got rid of two characters who were starting to become developed.
Too many missing parts that need further explanation. That being said, I didn't hate it. It was still a fun watch. I admit that the "good guys" were absolute idiots. I give it a 5.
Anyway, this movie is not the classic horror story. The movie Fabrizio was trying to make was the classic. That's why he literally says it during one of his rambles. He even references classics like Evil Dead. So those who keep saying that this movie isn't classic are correct. But not for the right reason.
I'll be honest, it had me going until they had that weird meal which was straight outta Midsommar. Then that rando lady blathering on and just up and leaving. That's when it got stupid.
I was expecting more. Too rushed. The doctor tells everyone about his story, and he even has that lil' family thing...only to be killed off like that. It was like the director felt that he had to move it foreard, so he got rid of two characters who were starting to become developed.
Too many missing parts that need further explanation. That being said, I didn't hate it. It was still a fun watch. I admit that the "good guys" were absolute idiots. I give it a 5.
Fear Street: Part One - 1994
(2021)
Wish I had more to add
3 July 2021
Many other reviewers hit the nail on the head. Right off the bat, the soundtrack was shoved in your face. I felt like it was yelling at me through the screen that this was supposed to be 1994...even though the title is, in fact, 1994. On top of that was the use of songs that weren't released in 1994. I spent most of the first 20 mins, as they went from song to song on my personal 90's mix, looking up the songs to confirm they were from later years. Plus, the Sophie B song, although awesome in its own right, was like 2 years before and was just so out of context given that they were trying so hard to pound 1994 in your head. I would've been ok with them sticking to one song at a time for longer than 10 seconds rather than try to do an entire Billboard top 50 of 90's music.
The computer thing took me out too. I don't remember the chat boxes being so intricate then. And hell no on the high speed internet. Did anyone notice how, while the kid was chatting online, sister answers the tele? And his ass didn't get kicked offline? No way unless they had 2 dedicated lines. But still, that kid's internet was way too stable.
No doubt, this was a poor man's Scream, IKWYDLS, and other fun lil' slashers from the day. But I was genuinely bored because I saw those years ago. The addition of the underlying witch thing just made it so they could tell themselves they weren't ripping off Scream. Even having a somewhat cameo from Maya Hawke gave me Drew vibes as you knew exactly where that was going.
The characters were really not likable except the little brother. He was the only one who didn't make me feel like I was watching a modern, boring Freeform show for teens and YA. The main character (his big sister whose name I forgot until this second) was wooden. Perhaps it was her script because she probably has potential. Her girlfriend was a dud...again, probably the script. They tried to make the one guy the comic relief, but it didn't have that effect. It was really desperate and more could've been done with him because he looked like he could play the part. Kate, though flawed, was likable too, and they could've done so much more with her.
As for nostalgia, I didn't come close to feeling transported back to high school. Throwing in some rando music and some skater haircuts does not make this magically whisk you away to 1994. They should've looked up how to do nostalgia from Stranger Things. That's a pretty fun show to watch, but simply thinking about it takes me back to my childhood.
This was not a short movie. So how come it missed the mark? Dunno to be honest other than what I said before. I think we all, as the audience, deserve more character development to feel some connection rather than typical horror movie sterotypes with not even one dimension. And we've got 2 more to go. Luckily they can have a pass on dealing with nostalgia with 1666 since I'm pretty sure they didn't have Bush or Garbage.... But 1978, nope. You better make it worthwhile or I'm done. So far, from the trailer for the next one, it looks like straight up Friday the 13th Ripoff or Sleepaway Camp. Odd choice of songs for the 1978 preview.... School's Out which came out 6 years earlier. Not trying to say, at all, that people don't listen to older music in any given year...I'm only saying that if you're going to name your movie a particular year, then let's get serious... Yeah, I'm talking to you Sweet Jane from 1988.
I'd say give it a watch if you don't have anything else to watch. But don't expect this to be new or groundbreaking or the scariest movie in years. It's not.
The computer thing took me out too. I don't remember the chat boxes being so intricate then. And hell no on the high speed internet. Did anyone notice how, while the kid was chatting online, sister answers the tele? And his ass didn't get kicked offline? No way unless they had 2 dedicated lines. But still, that kid's internet was way too stable.
No doubt, this was a poor man's Scream, IKWYDLS, and other fun lil' slashers from the day. But I was genuinely bored because I saw those years ago. The addition of the underlying witch thing just made it so they could tell themselves they weren't ripping off Scream. Even having a somewhat cameo from Maya Hawke gave me Drew vibes as you knew exactly where that was going.
The characters were really not likable except the little brother. He was the only one who didn't make me feel like I was watching a modern, boring Freeform show for teens and YA. The main character (his big sister whose name I forgot until this second) was wooden. Perhaps it was her script because she probably has potential. Her girlfriend was a dud...again, probably the script. They tried to make the one guy the comic relief, but it didn't have that effect. It was really desperate and more could've been done with him because he looked like he could play the part. Kate, though flawed, was likable too, and they could've done so much more with her.
As for nostalgia, I didn't come close to feeling transported back to high school. Throwing in some rando music and some skater haircuts does not make this magically whisk you away to 1994. They should've looked up how to do nostalgia from Stranger Things. That's a pretty fun show to watch, but simply thinking about it takes me back to my childhood.
This was not a short movie. So how come it missed the mark? Dunno to be honest other than what I said before. I think we all, as the audience, deserve more character development to feel some connection rather than typical horror movie sterotypes with not even one dimension. And we've got 2 more to go. Luckily they can have a pass on dealing with nostalgia with 1666 since I'm pretty sure they didn't have Bush or Garbage.... But 1978, nope. You better make it worthwhile or I'm done. So far, from the trailer for the next one, it looks like straight up Friday the 13th Ripoff or Sleepaway Camp. Odd choice of songs for the 1978 preview.... School's Out which came out 6 years earlier. Not trying to say, at all, that people don't listen to older music in any given year...I'm only saying that if you're going to name your movie a particular year, then let's get serious... Yeah, I'm talking to you Sweet Jane from 1988.
I'd say give it a watch if you don't have anything else to watch. But don't expect this to be new or groundbreaking or the scariest movie in years. It's not.
Athena
(2015)
The acting...
3 June 2021
Warning: Spoilers
It was the acting that ultimately led me to leave the rating. I just could not sit there and pretend the acting was decent. It stunk - and I hate saying that, but it's really true. I'm a huge horror buff; and I've seen my shares of low budgeters. But when the acting is so crummy that it takes you out of the story, then you can't rely on a low budget to be forgiven. In this case, all of the actors were really not good. Carl was ok, but he still needs to study how to do other types of acting. He had the same expression and reaction and cadence in every situation.
The story had major potential. I also felt like I was watching Bug, with a taste of Cronenberg, and a dash of something else I can't think of right now. But, it started to get cheesy. I liked Carl and I thought killing him off midway left us with the rest of the unlikable characters (yes, incl. Emily). I'd say it started to tank once we flip over to Emily's point of view and we get that bizarre ghosty Carl who just reminded me of a creepier Edward Cullen. It took me out of the story and didn't give any explanation as to why that was there in addition to the stupid voice in her head... The effects with that, and the Samurai sword crap felt like I was watching some weird late night Cinemax cheapo horror flick that could've been hosted by Elvira...it's as if the vision just went blank at the midpoint. There was an idea that was abandoned in favor of a gimmicky midpoint shift.
The voice in the head was really stupid. There was an attempt to make it sound eerie; but it just sounded like a cheap effect with an overlaid voice. It wasn't interesting or strange. Just piss poor acting with no soul. The people were too accepting of it rather quickly. Carl accepted it pretty easily.
I'd like this to be redone better. The friend who gets killed was not a good comic relief. The weird guy with the bowling bag was just annoying and I couldn't wait for his comeuppance after he killed that dude. Emily tried too hard to be interesting and/or relatable. I was also grossed out by people not caring at all about rando bleeding. Really...stack of bloodsoaked napkins on a bar and the bartender only says he's not cleaning it up?
I really tried to like this movie. Was waiting for their to be a story... it did not arrive. Instead, we got what amounted to a terrible SyFy channel late night special with horrid acting and uninteresting story that leads to an impossible window. Skip, not worth it.
The story had major potential. I also felt like I was watching Bug, with a taste of Cronenberg, and a dash of something else I can't think of right now. But, it started to get cheesy. I liked Carl and I thought killing him off midway left us with the rest of the unlikable characters (yes, incl. Emily). I'd say it started to tank once we flip over to Emily's point of view and we get that bizarre ghosty Carl who just reminded me of a creepier Edward Cullen. It took me out of the story and didn't give any explanation as to why that was there in addition to the stupid voice in her head... The effects with that, and the Samurai sword crap felt like I was watching some weird late night Cinemax cheapo horror flick that could've been hosted by Elvira...it's as if the vision just went blank at the midpoint. There was an idea that was abandoned in favor of a gimmicky midpoint shift.
The voice in the head was really stupid. There was an attempt to make it sound eerie; but it just sounded like a cheap effect with an overlaid voice. It wasn't interesting or strange. Just piss poor acting with no soul. The people were too accepting of it rather quickly. Carl accepted it pretty easily.
I'd like this to be redone better. The friend who gets killed was not a good comic relief. The weird guy with the bowling bag was just annoying and I couldn't wait for his comeuppance after he killed that dude. Emily tried too hard to be interesting and/or relatable. I was also grossed out by people not caring at all about rando bleeding. Really...stack of bloodsoaked napkins on a bar and the bartender only says he's not cleaning it up?
I really tried to like this movie. Was waiting for their to be a story... it did not arrive. Instead, we got what amounted to a terrible SyFy channel late night special with horrid acting and uninteresting story that leads to an impossible window. Skip, not worth it.
Un chien andalou
(1929)
Nope, I refuse to think this was good
26 March 2021
I kept seeing this come up on lists of disturbing or weird movies. Never cared to watch it unless it was free. I had the rare chance to watch and boy was I happy it was only like 20 mins. That's right, you guessed it. Crapola. I will give it kudos for being ahead of its time. I don't expect too much from an old silent film. I was fine with it being all avante garde and dreamlike and pointless. I didn't even care that there was no plot. What bothers me are the people that put this thing on a pedestal like it's a pivotal, momentous film. No! It's a silent film that was very much like watching a film student's poorly done thesis. If it were any longer, I'd have fallen asleep. I couldn't tell any of the male characters apart. The woman was actually pretty good as far as expressing herself without words. But not enough to save it. When I watch a film, I like to be told a story. The director's one job is to tell a story. When they can't put something together, it suddenly becomes a work of art. No! It means you suck at your job. If the makers came out and said we just wanted to mess around, then that's cool. But leave it at that. Don't try to find hidden meaning in this. There's none. It's just a series of images that have no cohesiveness. But that doesn't give the future generations the right to glorify it. It was poo. Smelly poo. Since it's short, I don't see why you can't watch it. But, unless you're a pretentious film snob who doesn't appreciate the art of actual filmmaking (i.e., telling a story), understand you're in for a borefest. 3 stars is being generous, but it was ahead of its time.
You Should Have Left
(2020)
Stinker of the highest caliber
9 January 2021
I only gave it 3 stars because I watched until the end. Even as I input this review, I'm still trying to figure out how that movie got made. I really hated it. It was so boring, so rushed, Bacon and Seyfried had zero chemistry (which is good because the age gap creeped me out and was unnecessary to the pointless excuse for a plot).
I felt I was watching like 4 different movies. But there was no continuity and the story made no sense. What was the story? The director did a crummy job. It didn't leave me thinking about it. I didn't go look up anything about it. There was no good build up. It was trying but gave up and decided to just deflate at the end. What did Wales have to do with this? Why couldn't it have taken place in their home? What was the significance of the weirdo at the store? I have a host of questions, but I genuinely don't really care about the answer because this movie sucked bad.
There was just no explanation or rhyme or reason as to "why?" I'm gonna stop. I don't understand the good reviews. Maybe I watched 1.5 hours worth of outtakes? And they saw a hidden gem? Nope. It was a pooper. Keep browsing.
I felt I was watching like 4 different movies. But there was no continuity and the story made no sense. What was the story? The director did a crummy job. It didn't leave me thinking about it. I didn't go look up anything about it. There was no good build up. It was trying but gave up and decided to just deflate at the end. What did Wales have to do with this? Why couldn't it have taken place in their home? What was the significance of the weirdo at the store? I have a host of questions, but I genuinely don't really care about the answer because this movie sucked bad.
There was just no explanation or rhyme or reason as to "why?" I'm gonna stop. I don't understand the good reviews. Maybe I watched 1.5 hours worth of outtakes? And they saw a hidden gem? Nope. It was a pooper. Keep browsing.
Room 237
(I) (2012)
Wow, did that stink...
30 September 2020
So, I wasn't really looking forward to seeing this or whatever, but I'd heard of it and thought I'd give it a shot. Should've read the reviews beforehand. This truly sucked on multiple levels. These people were like toddlers...blathering away at I don't even really know. What I thought would be a compelling analysis and in depth look into one of the best horror movies ended up being a super dull after work happy hour conversation with really uninteresting coworkers who primarily watch sports and have little to no exposure to any decent cinema.
Let's be clear. The "theories" are truly nonsense. Where these people pulled them from, or how they ended up in a documentary, is puzzling. More so than these ludicrous theories. I was having a hard time figuring when one ended and another started because I was waiting for something awesome to come. And by the 6th one, I was falling asleep. I lost interest less than half way through. The speakers were boring, the intercut scenes from Kubrick movies were weird and unnecessary, and it overall just stunk up my room.
I don't know what made the director determine that he should make this. Did he scout out these uninteresting people who have no cred or insight? Were these his theories he asked friends (from happy hour) to tell, which is the reason you don't see them? I couldn't understand the director's decision to make it look like thought was put into this by trying to separate into segments. I think he just got bored like the audience.
I mean come on! This really ate a big one. I am glad I turned it off. It was going absolutely nowhere. There may have been like two mildly interesting things in there, but otherwise it sucked. Do not watch this if you're hoping for an interesting story that'll make you want to delve further. Only watch this pile of poo if you are wanting to make a documentary about The Shining, and want insight into what not to do.
Let's be clear. The "theories" are truly nonsense. Where these people pulled them from, or how they ended up in a documentary, is puzzling. More so than these ludicrous theories. I was having a hard time figuring when one ended and another started because I was waiting for something awesome to come. And by the 6th one, I was falling asleep. I lost interest less than half way through. The speakers were boring, the intercut scenes from Kubrick movies were weird and unnecessary, and it overall just stunk up my room.
I don't know what made the director determine that he should make this. Did he scout out these uninteresting people who have no cred or insight? Were these his theories he asked friends (from happy hour) to tell, which is the reason you don't see them? I couldn't understand the director's decision to make it look like thought was put into this by trying to separate into segments. I think he just got bored like the audience.
I mean come on! This really ate a big one. I am glad I turned it off. It was going absolutely nowhere. There may have been like two mildly interesting things in there, but otherwise it sucked. Do not watch this if you're hoping for an interesting story that'll make you want to delve further. Only watch this pile of poo if you are wanting to make a documentary about The Shining, and want insight into what not to do.
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