Change Your Image
TheWakingFalcoln
Reviews
Dragonball Evolution (2009)
What Were They Trying To Do?
Hollywood isn't exactly the greatest at adapting pre-existing material to the big screen. It seems that almost every time they adapt a franchise, it goes something like this: "Hey there--you know (insert franchise's name here)? You know the fantastic worlds you found there? The riveting plot? The adrenaline-pumping action? The characters that you loved? And the themes that resonated so clearly with so many people? Well we're gonna do something totally different and call it the same thing!" ...If you take the approach I just described, Hollywood, how do you expect NOT to offend people? I personally don't understand what's so difficult about adapting a pre-existing franchise. I hope they learn their lesson some day, but they didn't learn it in time to save Dragon Ball from being smothered to within an inch of its life by way of the movie, "Dragonbal: Evolution," which is probably one of the worst attempts at adapting a franchise I've ever seen...and easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen.
I won't describe the plot because there are plenty of other places you can read about that if you want to, so I'd rather get straight to the essence of my review--the movie is marred by a script that was written without an ounce of regard to the themes of the original series...and this lack of respect trickles down into the production values, the special effects, the casting, the acting, and the directing. Dragon Ball is a story about a naive and borderline-stupid young boy named Goku who, in his naiveté, sees the world differently than most humans (in both a comical and endearing fashion). Despite his evident lack of intelligence, his pure heart gives him a clearer view on what it really means to be a friend, to be a father, to be a husband, to be a martial artist, and to be someone who will always fight for these values without regret. This confident, selfless, compassionate, and somewhat stupid boy's attitude changes the lives of the many people that he meets as a kid and as an adult in a story that is both moving and hilarious.
So of course, what's the first thing "Dragonball: Evolution" has to do? Make him a socially awkward high school student who "wants to get the girl." They wanted to make Goku relatable, and that's the most critical flaw of the movie. Goku's not someone that people can relate to, he's someone who's supposed to be emulated. The theme that the writers wanted to tout was that this movie is a movie about "having faith in who you are," which is the central struggle of the Goku in this movie. The Goku of the original series is someone with complete conviction in who he is, and it is this conviction that serves as the thematic device through which the story progresses. Had the movie kept this intact, I would not have minded some costume changes and crappy CGI, as long as they kept the essence intact. But, as I said earlier, Hollywood seems to have a phobia with being loyal to pre-existing franchises.
As I said earlier, this lack of respect to the original message trickles down. The once-fearsome Lord Piccolo is reduced in this movie to a character with about four lines and no back-story. Muten Roshi is reduced to an over-acting "you must learn, grasshopper" martial arts master stereotype. The spectacular fight choreography of the original series is reduced to awkwardly-angled and hackneyed choreography where often you can't even tell what's going on. The fantastical world of the original series is reduced to a modern-day world completely devoid of t he imagination of the original. The series itself is reduced to a complete mockery of what it once stood for.
Okay, let me back up a bit...I'm clearly a fan of the original series. Does this movie work for people who haven't seen the original series? Nope, unfortunately, it does not. Sure, the characters aren't loyal to the source material, but even newbies will recognize that the people they're watching in this movie are reduced to stock-type "caricatures" of other characters who have been done to death. The CGI and special effects leave much to be desired, there are plot holes everywhere, no back-stories are given to the characters...it's an unwatchable mess to newcomers and veterans alike.
Hollywood...why? You had such a great opportunity in front of you. And you screwed this one up just like countless others. Just be loyal to what's already been done--it's not that hard.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
James Cameron had nothing to do with this...and you can tell.
"The future is not set. There is No Fate but what we make for ourselves. I wish I could believe that...but I don't." The very opening words of this movie set up the attitude that it has towards the two movies that came before it: "Ya know those brilliant films that James Cameron created? We're gonna throw it all out the window." Action movies are often not very memorable. The reason behind this, I believe, is because those involved forget about character and story in favor of special effects. They regard character and story, the two most important elements, as an unfortunate necessity in story structure to give their filmed action sequences some semblance of coherence.
James Cameron did what only a select few action movie directors have done: he remembered that character and story are what make the action memorable. The best action sequences are ones where you care about who's going to win, who's going to lose, who's going to survive, and who's going to die. You have to get your audience to care about the heroes so that the action actually has meaning beyond showing off your sky-high budget.
Like I said, so few directors actually remember that, especially as time goes on. Michael Bay forgot about that when he made TRANSFORMERS. Cory Yuen forgot about that when he made THE TRANSPORTER. And Jonathan Mostow forgot it in TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES.
The story's basic enough. John Connor didn't stop Judgement Day after all. He just postponed it.
There. That does it. Basically, the first two movies become meaningless with this movie around because they throw away the "No Fate" concept that was integral to the first two movies. But why is "No Fate" not true? Could they think of a logical, thought-provoking reason? No. The reason they came up with is, "Because we need another movie."
John Connor? Unlike Edward Furlong's portrayal, which showed a young, courageous, compassionate, intelligent, punk-attitude wiz kid who could easily be seen leading the Human Resistance years from now, Nich Stahl (a good actor with a bad script) shows a John Connor who cries and complains at every turn and does nothing remotely heroic throughout the entire movie.
The Terminator? Although Arnold once created one of the most menacing villains in the history of the silver screen, and later a computer-programmed killer capable of learning and caring, here he is reduced to a one-line spouting source of "comic" relief.
I prefer to think that this tarnish to Cameron's legacy was never made.
Kyôryû sentai Jûrenjâ (1992)
Imagine Power Rangers, But Much Darker
The title says it all.
For those of you who don't know--I didn't, until about a year ago--the footage for the first season of the show "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers," a show that I and many others adored as kids, was only about half original. All footage of the Rangers unmasked or in the Command Center is original stuff, but their fights while in costume is actually footage from this show: "Kyôryû sentai Juurenjâ." Thank God for sites like YouTube, otherwise I might have never been able to see this show. Think Power Rangers, but much darker. Don't get me wrong, it's still a kids show, but an INCREDIBLY DARK kids show. The storyline is much more epic in scope than Power Rangers, and the characters are pretty lovable.
The basic plot is that a couple hundred million years ago, there were five kingdoms (Sharma, Etof, Daim, Risha, and the most prominent one, Yamato), who lived in peace and harmony with each other, watched over by a race of guardian dinosaurs for each tribe. For Sharma, the Mastadons, for Etof, the Triceratops', for Daim, the Sabre Tooth Tigers, for Risha, the Pteranadons, and for Yamato, the Tyrannosauruses. Even the kingdoms lived in harmony with each other, watched over by their God, Ultimate Daizuzyin. All seemed peachy...
Until a witch named Bandora (otherwise known as Rita Repulsa to us Americans) sold her soul to Great Satan--yes, THE Satan--and declared war on the dinosaurs and anyone who aided them. The war was a brutal one that almost wiped out the entire human race and pretty much DID wipe out the dinosaur population. Bandora almost won the war entirely, but each of the kingdom's best warriors were given a sacred medallion of their guardian dinosaur that allowed them to harness Gaiatron energy, the sacred power of the dinosaurs, and become Zyurangers for their respective dinosaurs. Goushi of Sharma became the Mammouth Ranger, Dan of Etof became the Triceratops Ranger, Boi of Daim became the Sabre Tooth Tiger Ranger, Princess Mei of the Risha kingdom became the pteranadon...and the mightiest warrior of the mightiest kingdom, Prince Geki of Yamato, became the Tyrannosaurus Ranger and leader of the Kyôryû sentai Juurenjâ.
When it became time for the final battle, Ultimate Daizuzyin appeared before the kingdoms, sending down a giant robot inhabited by his spirit. The Kyôryû sentai Juurenjâ, together with Ultimate Daizuzyin, banished Great Satan forever and defeated Bandora and her comrades. In the process, though, Ultimate Daizuzyin was split into three different forms--King Brachion, Dragon Ceasar, and Daizuzyin (who himself was the five combined sacred robot avatars of the gods).
Having pity upon Bandora, the kingdoms sealed her away on the moving planet, Nemesis, never to be opened again. As most stories like this go, however, a few idiots end up letting her out in modern times. And also as most stories go, the royalty of the ancient kingdoms predicted this. Therefore, the Kyôryû sentai Juurenjâ volunteered to have themselves put in suspended animation, to be awakened in the event that Bandora ever returned. Baarza the White Wizard, an influential force in the ancient war and a rival of Bandora, volunteered to watch over their bodies over the years to ensure that no harm came to them. It is he who awakens them and then serves as their mentor.
Things later get complicated when it is revealed that a Zyuranger possessing the medallion of the Dragon also exists--Burai, the Dragon Ranger. He too existed in ancient times and he too put himself into suspended animation...but not under Baarza's watch. Because unlike the others, he wanted to survive into the future so he could destroy the Zyurangers and get revenge on them, Geki in particular. Why? Well, it turns out, Geki is not the biological son of the Yamato king. He was actually taken away from his real biological father, the Black Knight (a prominent non-Zyuranger warrior of the ancient war), as punishment for rebelling against the Yamato government. The King of Yamato later killed the Black Knight in person when he tried to get Geki back. The Black Knight swore his firstborn son who he still had, Burai, to get revenge for his death and to become the new King of Yamato. The ancient war ended before he got the chance to prove himself from his training, however.
But wait, notice something? Yep. Burai is Geki's older brother. Doesn't it make sense now why Jason and Tommy always fought in Power Rangers? Or why they later worked together so closely? Yep, that's why.
Okay, now TELL ME you are not AT LEAST A LITTLE curious about this series after reading that plot outline and comparing it to Power Rangers. My suggestion? Get to YouTube right now.
Rocky Balboa (2006)
Wow, this film...is actually wonderful!
I laughed like everyone else when I heard that "Rocky VI," was going to be made. I thought there was no way that sixty-year-old Stallone could possibly make anything but a bad film...lo and behold, I was wrong. Just like Rocky is the underdog boxer, Stallone is the underdog filmmaker, and both prevail against the odds. This is an absolutely wonderful film, and the best of the Rocky movies since the first one.
Are there things that don't work? Yes. Most noticeably, Talia Shire is dearly missed. I don't have a problem with--- SPOILER --her dying, actually I thought it was a great emotional element of the film, the problem is, she is replaced by a different character that should not have been featured as prominently as she was. Also, Stallone's monologues can get a little on the cheesy side at times, but then again, what "Rocky" movie hasn't had those? You end up loving them in the end, anyway, because the character of Rocky is just one of those rare characters in cinema nowadays that are just purely and unreservedly good.
Yeah, Rocky's had a lot of different films. Yes, he may be overdone. But if you don't get a ton of chills upon hearing, "Gonna Fly Now," as the training montage starts, then something is wrong with you. I was disappointed to hear that the "Rocky" franchise would end on V, because it didn't go out with a bang. With "Rocky Balboa," the Itallian Stallion exits with the bang he has long deserved.
Pocahontas (1995)
WITH "If I Never Knew You": 10/10. WITHOUT: 6/10.
My review of this film will definitely be met with some disagreement due to its controversial consensus: that if the song, "If I Never Knew You," had been in the movie as originally planned, this would be a masterpiece 10/10 film, and without (which is what happened), it is a 6/10 film.
A little history, to explain this.
At the end credits, there is a pop song entitled "If I Never Knew You." Although without research one would think that this is just a pop song meant to market the movie, that is not true. In fact, that song is based on a song that was originally in the movie, sung by Pocahontas (Judie Kuhn) and John Smith (A surprisingly mature-sounding Mel Gibson) on the night before his execution. The scene was cut because the test audience Disney used, consisting mostly of impatient youngsters, got restless during the song. So as not to seem uninviting to children, Disney cut the song. One would wonder why they did this considering that they wanted "Pocahontas" to have a more mature, more adult feel than their previous films anyway. They were literally hoping for a "Best Picture" nomination.
So, without the song, what do we have? A film with superb animation, music, acting, dialogue, and characters, but a weak and unbelievable romance. This is crippling to the film because the romance is central to the story. The film is ABOUT that romance. I remember seeing this movie in its original cut, without the song, and thinking that the romance was stupid because it seemed weak. Why would Pocahontas be in love with some guy she met just a few hours ago and who, quite frankly, expressed curiosity in her culture more so than love towards her? This would be a good friendship, but not a good love because there's no emotion in it. The romance comes across as an obligatory, "make-the-film-complete" romance that many people feel has to be in every major Disney movie. The romance feels like it's there because it has to be, not because it's real. This earns the movie a less-than-stellar 6/10.
With, "If I Never Knew You," however, it is a whole different story. It is beautifully written, animated, and sung. It does not further the plot, but it definitely does further the emotion. One can definitely believe that Pocahontas and John Smith are in love, rather than forcing us to take their word for it. In this cut, there's also a reprise of the song at the very end before Smith leaves which echoes this love.
At the end of the first version, my reaction was, "meh." At the end of the second version (the one that includes "If I Never Knew You"), I was uncontrollably sobbing.
I had cried over a film that I had known the lines to forward and back when I was younger, but never had an emotional reaction to. This song makes the movie feel much more complete, and I would even venture to call this Disney's best film if one includes the song. Some people, especially those who haven't heard the song, might think I'm overreacting, wondering what kind of difference a single song can make. I know I felt that way about people who said this before I viewed the second version. Trust me, watch the second version. It's like watching a different film. For that reason, my final grade for "Pocahontas" is 10/10.