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Cadet Kelly (2002 TV Movie)
4/10
I liked the premise...back when it was called "Private Benjamin."
9 March 2002
Hilary Duff (TV's "Lizzie Maguire") plays Kelly Collins, whose parents are divorced. When her mother meets the new love of her life, she discovers that she must attend military school. While there, she meets sardonic Jennifer Stone, (Christy Carlson Romano of "Even Stevens"), a drill team member. She doesn't fancy Kelly very much and always seems to be picking on her. Kelly crushes on Jennifer's boyfriend Bret, and a battle of wits ensues. Besides the fact that your kids will love it, the movie follows the same premise as the 1980 Goldie Hawn vehicle "Private Benjamin." I guess the performances are decent for a made-for-television movie. Let's just hope that there's no sequel...
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10/10
Wonderful, lighthearted comedy.
26 January 2002
From the director and writers of "Bottle Rocket" and "Rushmore" comes "The Royal Tenenbaums" starring the amazing Gene Hackman, the amazing Anjelica Huston, the amazing Ben Stiller...well, let's face it. Everyone involved in this project is simply amazing!

To sum up this epic situation comedy, Royal Tenenbaum (Hackman) separates from his wife and his three children (Chas, Ricky, and Margot), returns some twenty years later pretending to have cancer and makes up a story that he doesn't have very long to live.

The characters could each have their own films. Chas, the oldest Tenenbaum child, is a stockbroker at an early age. In the future, he has two kids (Ari and Uzi) and after his wife dies in a tragic plane crash, he's obsessed with safety.

Ricky was once a great tennis player until he stunk up the court one game and never turned back to this profession, but he still wears that tacky trademark sweatband around his forehead. When the movie picks up, he finds himself falling in love with Margot.

Margot Tenenbaum is the only adopted child. She lost one of her index fingers in a tragic accident and has a checkered life. She's married to unsuccessful child psychologist Raleigh St. Clair.

Etheline Tenenbaum never legally divorced from her husband and is engaged to her black accountant, and of course, Royal has something to say about this. Owen Wilson is one of the film's highlights as the hilarious best-selling author who's books are awful.

I absolutely loved this film. I'm a big fan of Wes Anderson (especially "Rushmore") and laughed constantly throughout. The plot was so intricate, and I think the art direction and set decoration should be at least nominated for an Oscar.

I was thrilled was Gene Hackman (who was superb) won the Golden Globe for Best Actor. To sum up this whole review, go see this well-done comedic masterpiece!
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Black Knight (2001)
1/10
Bleccchhh!
26 January 2002
I have to admit I've never seen a movie quite like "Black Knight" before, and of course, I mean that in a bad way. I've never seen a movie quite so unfunny.

The only movie I've seen Martin Lawrence in that I actually enjoyed somewhat would have to be "Blue Streak," and even that wasn't a great movie. "Big Momma's House" was another disastrous effort, along with "Black Knight" and "What's the Worst That Could Happen?" As you've probably guessed, I'm not a big Lawrence fan.

Black cinema hasn't lived up to high standards in the past few years. While "Boyz N the Hood" is one of my favorite movies, this movie is one of the films released recently (same with "How High," "Bones," "The Wash") that just happens to be entertainment aimed mainly at African Americans.

I won't even bother reworking the plot because it pretty much stinks. It's a rip-off of Mark Twain's classic "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court" that's neither funny nor innovative.

How the studio that produced this garbage even thought of making it is beyond me because "Black Knight" shouldn't have seen the light of day.
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Fargo (1996)
10/10
The Coen Brothers strike gold!
18 January 2002
Anyone who's seen "Fargo" has experienced something they've never experienced before. The Coens are back and they're better than ever!

Frances McDormand plays Marge Gunderson, a pregnant police woman who becomes enthralled in a scandalous kidnapping/murder case involving swindling used car dealer Jerry Lundegaard, who's hiring two buffoons to kidnap his wife so her father will cough up a large ransom.

What's so surprising about this film is that it's funny while it's suspenseful. The scenes with the kidnappers have strong language and violence and are usually serious while the scenes with Marge and her husband are quite humorous.

I was captivated right at the beginning when I purchased the DVD. It opens to a black screen with white lettering stating that the following film is a true story. Out of respect for the dead, some of the names have been changed. Entirely engrossing but yet entirely not true.

Director Joel Coen said later that if you know that the movie is based on actual events, they'll believe anything on the screen, even if it's totally unrealistic.

There are so many scenes that are ingenious: the infamous woodchipper scene, Marge and her accomplice Lou discussing the dealer plates on the murderer's car, Marge cracking a joke about a guy changing his name to "J37-2404," and more.

Anyone and everyone should see "Fargo" some time in their life, whether it be on television or video, see it! It's extremely inventive, hilarious, and still manages to be gratuitously violent.

NOTE: When Buscemi is pulling the dead body of the cop after shooting him in the head and the car's headlights are seen getting closer and closer in the distance, this must be a reference to the Coen's first film "Blood Simple" in which there's a similar scene.
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Brazil (1985)
8/10
A modern day masterpiece!
18 January 2002
Director Terry Gilliam called this a "post-Orwellian" film, and in a strong sense, he's correct. If you've seen (or read) "1984" and "A Clockwork Orange" you'll know that "Brazil" strongly resembles them. This film is extremely intriguing and captivating, while the performances aren't astounding, it's still a very enjoyable movie.

Sam's a meek individual who is promoted to "Information Retrieval." His mother forces him to do so (she's obsessive about plastic surgery and gets younger every time we see her). He stays in a small, cramped office and fantasizes about a blonde beauty who's actually a short-haired tomboyish woman he happens to stumble upon.

The plot's rather confusing and the ending is long and drawn out, but still, the dark humor is very recognizable and there's even a scene near the end that isn't recommended to the squeamish. As I've said before, when thinking back on "Brazil," I don't think of the performances, but rather the technically impressive special effects and atmospheric sets.

What's the message behind all this? Gilliam must have been trying to prove a point. He wanted to make the viewer think, "Could the future really be like this? Could computers rule the world?" It could be possible.

Another question: why is De Niro credited second in the credits when he's only in the film for about 10 minutes and Kim Greist is credited last when she's seen more than many of the actors credited before her?

And here's the answer. Just about everyone who's seen a half-decent movie in their life knows who Bob De Niro is, and not too many people know who Greist is...F.Y.I.: Kim Greist is in "Throw Momma from the Train" and "Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey." Most movie-goers would rather see a movie starring Robert De Niro or any other big star.

All in all, "Brazil" is a breath-taking and life-changing experience. It's fantastical, surreal, humorous, violent, dramatic, horrific, and mesmerizing all at once. Sure, it's not the typical Monty Python flick. But it sure is a memorable one.
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Run Lola Run (1998)
10/10
Can't be missed!
8 January 2002
While I watched "Run Lola Run" (or "Lola rennt" in Germany), I felt it was on of the only philosophical thrillers I'd ever seen...well, not like this one, anyway.

Franka Potente, an unknown German actress, plays Lola, a young woman with bright red hair, gets a call from her boyfriend Manni. He's in a phone booth downtown. He's in trouble with a gangster and needs $100,000 in German marks in twenty minutes or else he'll be killed.

So, what does Lola do? Lola runs, of course! But it's not that simple. Lola passes by minor characters on the streets and you'll see their lives flash before your eyes. The story of Lola's twenty-minute long adventure is shown three consecutive times, each with different fates.

Those who don't enjoy reading the yellow subtitles at the bottom of the screen, they may still enjoy this one, simply because it's only about an hour and twenty minutes long.

After watching this film, I had to watch it again on television, which was only about two hours after my first viewing. It still didn't make tremendous sense, but I still enjoyed it wholeheartedly. I have to get this one on DVD!
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Zombies Ate My Neighbors (1993 Video Game)
8/10
Mindless fun!
29 December 2001
Some of the most entertaining games are for the Super Nintendo, a video game system that was popular in the late eighties and early nineties. In this game, you play a kid (either boy or girl) who must walk through sometimes difficult obstacles and save neighbors from creatures like zombies, mummies, dolls, and globs of toxic pink goo. The graphics aren't great and the sound is rather fuzzy, but, unlike most games for the NES, it has a simple plot and you'll find great uses for household appliances such as fire extinguishers or high-powered artillery! Sure it's dated, but it's very easy to get caught up in it and play for hours! Highly recommended (if you can find it)!
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1/10
Bad...just plain bad.
25 December 2001
"Chairman of the Board" is a ridiculously stupid film from the popular comic Carrot Top (also seen on the 1-800-COLLECT commercials). He plays a surfing inventor who comes upon a man who has a flat tire. Top helps him out and a few days later discovers the guy's died and has given his company to the comedian. Even if someone else was in Carrot Top's role, it still would have been bad. The jokes (which are constantly rigged throughout) are terrible and the idea of a romantic "plot twist" should have been discarded. DO NOT WATCH!!!
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2/10
What a waste!
20 December 2001
I saw "Pokemon: The First Movie" with pretty low expectations. Yet I wanted to see what all the hype was about. Some scientists discover a new Pokemon that's called Mewtwo. Ash and his buddies Misty and Brock venture to fight with the monster. While those who like anime may like the atmosphere of the film, the plot is paper thin and it looks as though it was thrown together in a short amount of time. What could have been only an hour to an hour and fifteen minutes drags on for at least two hours. I nearly fell asleep in the theater! A complete time waster!
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Godzilla 2000 (1999)
1/10
A unsatisfying disaster!
20 December 2001
Oh, no! Here comes another dubbed "Godzilla" export! There's so much about this movie that's easy to complain about. If Japan's supposed to be wizards in the video game/electronic industries, why are the special effects so bad? Second of all, the acting is terrible, the plot is pointless, and the ending line is just plain embarrassing..."there's a Godzilla in every one of us." I laughed at most of this movie when I should be biting my nails. A monster movie fan may enjoy this, but I didn't.
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8/10
Definitely worth it!
20 December 2001
I've been waiting to see "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" ever since I heard about the trailer being available for download on the Internet. I'd never read any of Tolkien's novels, and I had heard great things about them. On December 16th, three days before the movie was to be released, I found myself running up to a local bookstore and purchasing a copy of "The Fellowship of the Ring" for seven bucks and planning to read 500 pages in three days!

Of course, I didn't finish in time, but I saw the movie on opening night. Right from the opening scene, I knew right away an instant classic was being shown right in front of me. If you loved "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" (me being somewhat of a fan of Rowling's books), you'll most likely love "The Fellowship" even better.

The special effects in this movie were stunning and pure eye candy throughout. The long running time is definitely a drawback, but don't be fooled! What surprised me the most about the movie was Elijah Wood's performance. I remember seeing him in "North" in which he was pretty wooden. But he was perfect as Frodo Baggins. Liv Tyler was much of a disappointment, though. She was credited as one of the main stars, but she's only on camera for at least twenty minutes out of 180 minutes! She seemed quite amateurish and didn't quite fit the persona too well. McKellen (who plays seven-foot-tall Gandolf) is also very good and most of the time stands out more than anyone else on screen.

Don't feel bad if you find yourself fighting back some tears in certain parts of the movie because I did too. You get to know the characters and feel sympathy throughout their journey that when they're scared, you're scared, when they're happy, you're happy.

All in all, this film was definitely worth the money. I can't wait until the second and third films come out!
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Silver Bullet (1985)
4/10
Bomb!
20 December 2001
I recently finished "Cycle of the Werewolf" by Stephen King and remembered seeing "Stephen King's Silver Bullet." It's about a werewolf terrorizing an ordinary Maine town and a kid in a wheelchair is the only one who knows the werewolf's true identity. As usual, the book was much better than the movie. The movie added scenes and deleted scenes obscurely. Not only that, but the special effects are some of the worst I've ever seen! The book is very descriptive and gory and the movie lacks that.
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Blood Simple (1984)
10/10
One of my favorite movies!
20 December 2001
If you've seen any of the Coen brother's films ("The Man Who Wasn't There," "Fargo," "The Big Lebowski," et. all) and enjoyed them, you will certainly fall in love with "Blood Simple." In this intricate and original thriller, Hedaya hires private detective Walsh to kill his unfaithful wife and her lover. But it doesn't go quite as expected. The whole movie is gripping and darkly humorous until the climax. One of my favorite actresses is Frances McDormand, and she's great in this, as she is in almost any film she's in. I loved the fact that it's extremely unexpected throughout. I'm going to go out and by a copy of "Blood Simple" sometime soon! Highly recommended!
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1/10
Horrible sequel
20 December 2001
I never was a fan of the "Friday the 13th" series and don't think I ever will be. The first film was decent and was somewhat scary, but this sequel is undoubtedly one of the worst films I've ever seen. Once again, idiotic teens camp out at Camp Crystal Lake where many before them had been brutally murdered. Does that stop them? Of course not! The gore was constant in the first one and it is the same with this one, but this time the gore seems to be used as comic relief. Sorely disappointing.
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The Shining (1980)
10/10
A Kubrick chiller!
20 December 2001
"The Shining" is synonymous with Stanley Kubrick fans everywhere as one of the scariest movies ever made. Jack Torrance (Nicholson) takes his wife Wendy (Duvall) and son Danny (Lloyd) to look after the Overlook Hotel which is closing down over the winter because of bad road conditions.

Shortly after they arrive, weird things start to happen. Danny sees unsettling things in the hallways, the snow's getting thick outside, and Jack (a recovering alcoholic) is going cuckoo and socializes with the dead that once resided in the hotel.

While reading the novel by Stephen King, I discovered some very silly differences. In the book, the dreaded room number is 217. In the movie, it's 237. Book: Jack's weapon is a croquet mallet; movie: axe. Book: hedge animals; movie: hedge maze.

The TV movie made in the nineties is much more faithful to the book but is missing the horror that Kubrick has added to the 1980 version. I still love this one despite the flaws that I previously named.

Jack Nicholson's fine and psychotic performance is very underrated and should have earned at least a nomination for a Golden Globe or Oscar. Very memorable and worth a watch!
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10/10
Why hasn't Brooks made more films like this?
20 December 2001
I'm a big Mel Brooks fan, yet his latest work ("Dracula: Dead and Loving It," "Robin Hood: Men in Tights") didn't live up to the old standards of his films. "Blazing Saddles" is one of Brooks's best.

The film's about a cold-hearted guy named Lamarr (great Korman) who wants to run his railroad through a miniscule town called Rock Ridge. In order to run the town's residents away, he decides to make black convict Bart (Little) to be sheriff.

Lamarr's plan works and the very racist people don't like the idea of an African American sheriff. Alcoholic Jim, (some people call him Jim), a.k.a. the ex-Waco Kid. They plan to foil Lamarr's plan.

I LOVE this movie! I can watch it and quote a lot of it. I find it funnier than "The Naked Gun: From the Files of the Police Squad" and "Airplane!" which are two of my favorite comedies. Brooks himself appears as the perverted mayor and briefly as a Yiddish-speaking Native American.

What was controversial in its time is still controversial today but is now a comedy classic that never gets old.

Also recommended: "Young Frankenstein."
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Shallow Hal (2001)
7/10
Somewhat disappointing
18 December 2001
The previews for "Shallow Hal" were plastered all over television and in magazines. At first glance, it seems to be a comedy that's a constant fat joke involving a shallow guy named Hal (hence the title!) who, after being trapped in an elevator with self-help guru Tony Robbins, begins seeing people's inner beauty. For those who expect a film like "There's Something About Mary" or "Dumb and Dumber" (two other Farrelly brother comedies) may be disappointing, which was the case of me. I was hoping to come out of the theater with a sore throat, such as when I saw "Rat Race." But that was not the case with "Shallow Hal." The humor was much more subtle, but sometimes outrageous, and more of a chick flick than anything else. The highlights are undoubtedly the confident performances from Black and Paltrow, and the extraordinary chemistry between them is stunning and this comedy is worth a viewing.
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What's not to like?
18 December 2001
When I saw the trailer for "Legally Blonde" in the theater, I knew that it would be a total bomb. I recently rented it and watched it and found myself laughing more often than I thought I would. Witherspoon is delightful as Elle Woods, a bubbly blonde chick who plans on marrying her boyfriend. One night at dinner in a nice restaurant, he breaks to Elle that if he wants to become a senator, he has to marry a "Jacquie Kennedy, not a Marilyn Monroe." Elle is obviously crushed and decides that if she wants to marry him, she must go to Harvard Law herself. A plot twist involving a murder case involving an aerobics instructor is rather unnecessary. Another likeable character is foul-mouther Coolidge, who plays a divorced manicurist who's obsessed with a UPS guy who delivers packages to the parlor she works in. You may want to check it out!
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10/10
One of the greatest films of all time!
8 December 2001
In this heartfelt adaptation of Ken Kesey's novel, felon R.P. McMurphy (Nicholson) is sent to a mental institution rather than jail. Once there, he's so uproarious that he makes the head nurse cringe. This is Jack Nicholson's best performance yet, hands down. The supporting actors and actresses are exceptional as well, with Dourif and Lloyd making their film debuts. It's often hilariously dramatic and realistic. Not to be missed!
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5/10
A dull film that tries to achieve too much.
20 May 2001
A documentary crew make a movie about Mount Rose, Minnesota's beauty pageant: the American Teen Princess Pageant. Somebody wants to win so badly, they knock off members of the pageant. This film turns out to be a big mess and it usually doesn't strike a lot of laughs, but like all comedies, it's a lot better to watch this film with a group.
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