ljwickert Reviews

The Animal (2001)

SNL character litmus test

[2/10 · 4 August 2001]

Redundant, but again the case. If you enjoy the former SNL comedian and his antics (in this case, Schneider), then you should go. Basic comedy….man's life is saved by having various animal organs transplanted into him. Unfortunately, he takes on each animal's characteristics. Former Survivor Colleen looks pretty good here, now that she doesn't have open sores on her legs, and a little makeup on her face! D

Evolution (2001)

It isn't as bad as most people say

[7/10 · 4 August 2001]

Made by the people who brought you Ghostbusters, and this has EXACTLY the same feel to it, except with 2001 computer animation and graphics. It actually is a decent movie, as was Ghostbusters. Enough humor to keep you entertained throughout. A meteor lands on Earth, and micro-organisms begin evolving at an alarming rate, threatening to take over the world. B

Tomcats (2001)

Women stay away .all ‘guy' flick!

[1/10 · 4 August 2001]

Actually, probably just all ‘single guy below age 25' flick. Six friends swear off marriage, and up the ante by each putting a grand in the pot, which grows to half a million (stocks) and leaves two guys left. One needs the money to pay a debt, and coaxes a former girlfriend to try and marry the other guy. Of course, he falls in love with her, and has trouble letting her marry the friend. There was actually scenes which I myself thought was a bit too far! F

Joe Dirt (2001)

David Spade isn't the best as the 'headliner'

[3/10 · 4 August 2001]

Like most movies that have former SNL cast members, you have to like the comedian to like the movie. Spade is a redneck, left in the Grand Canyon by his parents, and he spends the rest of his life trying to find them. Not that good, but keep your eye on Brittany Daniel in the future…..a natural beauty, at least I believe she's all-natural….you never can tell these days! D

Someone Like You (2001)

Chick flick? Yeah, I'd say so.

[5/10 · 4 August 2001]

Woman failing in relationships lashes out against all men, until she finds love with someone she thought was the proto-typical male womanizer..love 'em and leave 'em. Once again, I stand by my story….A nice cotton t-shirt(maybe a size small) and a regular pair of cotton ‘briefs' are TEN times sexier on a female than some $80 silk lingerie piece from Frederick's (Judd is the case-in-point here). C

Swordfish (2001)

Special effects give this an average grade

[5/10 · 4 August 2001]

Man, talk about a movie with way too much computer-ese! How many average citizens need to hear about ‘512-bit encryption' and ‘firewalls'? Some good stunts and pretty good special effects move this up to average status. Ending leaves you confused. A villain (Travolta) needs a hacker (Jackman) to break into a bank's computer and steal nine billion dollars. C

Exit Wounds (2001)

Seagal has gone past his prime

[1/10 · 4 August 2001]

Another ‘original' storyline for Seagal. He loses his badge for being a rebel cop in Detroit, and gets assigned to the worst district in Detroit. (Under a smoking hot sergeant….yeah right! Hot WHITE woman running the worst crime district in Detroit!) Of course, Seagal cracks a huge drug case. And, of course, Seagal still finds a way to shoot 250 rounds out of a handgun, without ever reloading! DMX should stick to what he does SECOND WORST, rapping! F

Freddy Got Fingered (2001)

Tom Green needs his own rubber room...........

[3/10 · 4 August 2001]

This one reminds me of when the South Park creators made their movie. There is so much you can get away with on cable, so when they make a movie, all bets are off. Green pushes it to the limit, with such scenes as handling a horse's private parts, cutting through an umbilical cord with his teeth, whacking a paralyzed woman's legs with a wooden stick, etc..etc. Green's `humor' is on a different level than most. D+

The Tailor of Panama (2001)

Not a bad movie . good acting makes this better.

[6/10 · 4 August 2001]

A former British convict, now the premiere tailor in Panama, is used by British consulates to get information about Panamanian rebels, and their movements. The tailor (Rush), fabricates a story to protect his friends and family, but in turn causes more damage than he cared for. I think the movie was trying to get across how corrupt government's, not only local, but also foreign ambassadors in third world countries, can be. C+

The Mexican (2001)

Very entertaining!

[9/10 · 4 August 2001]

Pitt and Roberts were a good match, and James Gandolfini really was the best part of this movie. A young man (Pitt) has to go to Mexico and retrieve an antique pistol for a mobster, much to the chagrin of his girlfriend (Roberts). Pitt encounters a lot of snags and hang ups trying to complete the task, and unknowingly, his girlfriend is being held as insurance until he finishes the job. Worth seeing! B+

Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)

Disney needs your money!

[5/10 · 4 August 2001]

Yeah, usually don't see Disney flicks, but I'm interested in the theories of Atlantis, so that made me go. I can't rip this flick, or praise it. It's Disney for God sake! I believe they police the internet as well as the govt., and ‘weed out' any anti-Disney-ites that are out there. (Father Guido Sarducci has a voice role….nice to hear his voice again). C

Blow (2001)

Probably my favorite so far in 2001!

[10/10 · 4 August 2001]

Top 3 movie this year EASILY! Great all-around…storyline…cast…music, etc. Based on a true-life story (almost all true), Johnny Depp plays a drug dealer during the 70s and early 80s, and the life behind the glitz, including his parents and children. I can see this movie getting nominations next year at the Emmy's, including Depp and Ray Liotta, who is great portraying Depp's dad Don't miss this one! A+

Enemy at the Gates (2001)

Every war history picture DOESN'T have to have a love story!

[5/10 · 4 August 2001]

Decent war flick depicting the battle for Stalingrad in World War II. They put a love triangle in it, which really hurt the story. If you like history and war battles, it was worth it. Another great line in this one: `We do not have enough guns for each soldier! Pair off in twos…the first soldier gets the gun and bullets…the second soldier follows him….when the first soldier gets killed, the second soldier takes the gun and bullets, and keeps shooting!' – Russian commander giving orders to the new soldiers coming off the boats. C

Pearl Harbor (2001)

WoW! Thank you! I didn't know Pearl Harbor was a love story!

[2/10 · 4 August 2001]

135 million dollars to make this flick….keep reminding yourself of that while sitting through it. I can't tell you all not to see it, because most will. Being a little of a history buff, I will say they got one thing right…..the date!! (Dec. 7th, 1941) Other than that, this was one big pile of monkey crap! I kept thinking of the Gilligan's Island theme song, because I was taken on a 3-hour tour….A 3-HOUR TOUR! (I'm glad I didn't see this with my friend Phil Peterson, who is ten times the history nut I am….I think Phil's head would've exploded!). Basically, if you want to sit through a two hour love triangle, and one hour of special effects, then this is for you. I would love to keep on ranting about the mistakes and falsehoods, but I've already wasted enough time on this picture. D-

The Mummy Returns (2001)

Some sequels are exactly the same as the first!

[5/10 · 4 August 2001]

Well, they at least promoted this flick to be `The Rock's' (WWF wrestler) breakout into the movie action hero stage. Actually, Rocky is only in this flick about five minutes! The rest of his character is computer animation. Anyway, if you seen the first Mummy, this one is very similar….a little scary…a little funny….a little of everything…. but not enough to make it a really good flick. Special effects are pretty good, so I guess that's ‘something'. C

Memento (2000)

In today's cinema...different is good!

[8/10 · 4 August 2001]

You have to pay attention, and stay with this movie until the end, because it is shown backwards…that's right, from ending to beginning! No, people aren't walking and driving cars backwards, but they show about five minute segments, starting with the end, and then overlapping a little, going backwards in time. There's a reason for this, because the storyline is about a man who is trying to find his wife's killer. The problem, however, is that since the murder, he has ZERO short term memory, so he needs to snap photographs and jot notes to himself to help him the next day, or even the next five minutes. Sounds like a movie to miss, but it actually was done pretty well, and worth it if you like flicks that make you pay attention. (Unfortunately, most movies DON'T!) B

Moulin Rouge! (2001)

Take in a French show for $8

[7/10 · 4 August 2001]

Different…yes! I think a good pre-requisite for this flick is that you must have seen, and APPRECIATED, either a Vegas show or a musical production of some sort. I seen a 270 lb. man storm out of this movie, cussing up a storm, while his girlfriend/wife(??) was running after him. This is a musical….where each act inevitably breaks into song. I thought it was pretty good, but I'm a Kidman fan, even more since she's single…anyone want to introduce me? One more thing…the theme of this movie was summed up in one line: `It's a story about love…..at the Moulin Rouge.' Ya know, this `line' could've been used for another 2001 summer flick: `It's a story about love…..at Pearl Harbor!' (Needed to get at least one more shot at that movie!) B-

Widow of St. Pierre (2000)

Sometimes good people do bad things

[7/10 · 4 August 2001]

(Subtitled) Historical French movie about a man, who in his drunken stupor, murders someone, and is sentenced to the guillotine, but has to wait until one is shipped from the homeland to their colony. He ends up being a well-liked townsman, who saves a woman's life, and helps all in need, so the colony doesn't want him to be executed. You have to be in the right mood to like this. C+

A Knight's Tale (2001)

Move along....nothing to see here!

[2/10 · 4 August 2001]

Not sure what to say…a little too much of everything. A young man's quest to be a champion jouster in the 18th century. It wasn't the worst flick I've ever seen, but some things I just can't overlook. Like Queen's `We Will Rock You' being played at the jousting arena, with the spectators clapping along. And the fact that dentistry was so far advanced in those days (try and count the number of characters who have perfect ‘pearly whites' when they smile). D+

15 Minutes (2001)

Not DeNiro's best...........

[5/10 · 4 August 2001]

A cop and a fire investigator work together to find/stop two foreign killers, who videotape their crimes. Great (very true) line from the movie: `I love America! No one is responsible for what they do!' – Russian murderer. How REAL is that statement in society today??

-Kill a family in a car accident..."It's not his fault...he's an alcoholic!" -Murder all five of your own children..."It's not her fault..she was depressed and on prescribed drugs!" -Shoot up your highschool..."It's not his fault...he was picked on by other kids!" -Kidnap, rape, and kill 10 year old girls..."It's not his fault...he was abused as a child!"

It's time people ARE held accountable, irregardless of ANY excuses!

Sorry...got off on a tangent...The movie, otherwise, is so-so. C

Along Came a Spider (2001)

This should've been SO much better!

[3/10 · 4 August 2001]

What looked to be the next `Seven' turned out to be disappointing. Freeman is a detective who has to help find a senator's kidnapped child. Very basic and routine suspense flick…..and way too many scenes which make you say to yourself, ‘How stupid do they think I am if they want me to believe that?' To bad…..a good book…..but a bad movie. D+

What's the Worst That Could Happen? (2001)

Very few laughs for a comedy

[2/10 · 4 August 2001]

Could seeing this movie be the worst that could happen? Unfortunately not, because there are worse ones out there. That's not saying this flick was decent.very basic and slow moving..plus the casting of Martin and Danny didn't work. A thief (Lawrence) gets his ring taken by a rich man (DeVito), and will go to any length to get it back. D-

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)

A movie based on a video game..what do you expect?

[7/10 · 4 August 2001]

God! Billy Bob Thorton HAD to of sold his soul to the devil. How else can you explain his marriage to Jolie?? Man, she is smokin' throughout this flick, even without any real nudity! What was the movie about?…umm…I think it involves some evil man trying to get an evil power from and ancient evil stone, while Jolie tries to stop all the evil…..but I could be wrong. All I know is that I have to figure out a way to hang two bungee cords from my ceiling! (Have to see movie to understand) Oh yeah, See You in Hell, Billy Bob!! B-

Town & Country (2001)

This WAS entertaining, despite all the bad press!

[8/10 · 4 August 2001]

Fun, fun movie! I went on opening weekend to see it, and I was the only person in the theatre. That's a shame, because this was worth seeing. The underlying theme is infidelity, but it is done in a very comical sense, with some very good middle-aged actors. You won't be disappointed if you see this…..plus, I believe this will be the only time you will see Warren Beatty in a polar bear suit! B

Driven (2001)

F..F..F..F..F!

[1/10 · 4 August 2001]

Take a red hot poker and shove it in your eye, because that would be less painful than seeing this movie! Indy Car rookie battling for a championship….at least I think that's what it was about.

Having a driver, in a race, see another driver crash through a guardrail, across a grass valley, and into a pond, and then taking your own car, turning it around, driving AGAINST 200mph traffic, driving to the pond, jumping in, and turning over the upside down car to save the driver.........CMON!!!!!!!!! You would've thought the amount of money spent on this would at least have awesome special effects, but even those sucked! Sly, it's time to hang it up! And take Arnold and Seagal with you as well to the old age action hero home. (Also, producing or directing is NOT an option for you either, Stallone!) F